Welcome back to The Weekend Press! In which Elliot Ackerman tells you how to get engaged and Kat Rosenfield engages with a Netflix series long past its sell-by date, River Page has a ridiculous round of drinks with George Santos, and Abigail Shrier dishes out some tough love to a man thinking of leaving his wife. Plus: Our staff recommend their favorite kids’ books.
But first: What should we do with spare embryos?
In vitro fertilization has been a godsend for couples otherwise unable to conceive a child. It’s also been a boon for those who know they want children but aren’t yet ready. Yet it also raises thorny questions for these couples, such as what to do with the embryos they do not use.
Justine el-Khazen and her husband welcomed two children into the world via IVF. But they created 15 embryos in total, nine of which appeared viable. The question of what should happen to the ones they didn’t use got el-Khazen meditating on a host of uncomfortable questions: When does life begin? Are the embryos she created just “cells in a lab,” as one doctor assured her, or already tiny humans? And if they really are just an inert cluster of biological material, why are some tech companies so convinced they know what sort of humans they would turn out to be through a system called polygenic risk scoring? “In promising parents tall, strapping geniuses, technologists want cells in a lab to be people, and people to be cells in a lab,” she writes.
El-Khazen tackles all this and more in a remarkable essay. Along the way, she talked to women in Alabama who might soon lose the right to terminate an unwanted embryo—and while none of them wanted to surrender that privilege, they were all ambivalent about destroying them to begin with.
Regardless of how you feel about IVF, abortion, or when life starts, this is a must-read look at the questions we all need to grapple with as we race into a future where technologies like this get more advanced, and more common.
—The Editors
You know George Santos from his brief time in Congress, his subsequent criminal conviction, and finally President Donald Trump’s commutation of his sentence. Now he’s back on the loose in D.C. and drinking gin with River Page, dishing on the president, his close friend Marjorie Taylor Greene, and how men in prison are much less attractive than he had been led to believe.
In her second Tough Love advice column, Abigail Shrier tackles a question from Greg, an unfaithful husband unsure whether to stick it out or “cut his losses.” Her reply starts like this: “There are good people who find themselves in bad situations. There are bad people who find themselves in bad situations. Then there’s you, Greg. You are the bad situation.” You won’t want to miss the rest of it.
Kids today have more entertainment options than ever. But nothing beats a great children’s book. With the holiday shopping season in overdrive, we surveyed our writers, editors, and producers for their recommendations. Enjoy!
Kristen Stewart has gone from “Twilight” stardom to headlining smaller indie movies while making the life of a glamorous young actress seem as awkward as possible. Now she’s out with her first directorial effort, “The Chronology of Water,” which might not be good in the traditional sense but, as Suzy Weiss writes, is striking enough to earn your time. Check out more on that and the rest of Suzy’s takes on pop culture’s offerings at the moment in this week’s Second Thought.
Few things are more intimate, meaningful, or personal than asking someone to marry you. It’s the first shared decision in what is (hopefully) a lifelong partnership. So perhaps it’s best not to make a public spectacle of it, Elliot Ackerman advises. There might not be a perfect way to propose, but Ackerman has some worthwhile tips on how to avoid potential pitfalls.
The author of 22 books, Jay Neugeboren knows something about staying productive. Now, at age 87, he has some wisdom to offer. Despite numerous major health scares, Neugeboren stays fit, trim, and productive. So how does he do it? Read this week’s Ancient Wisdom to find out.
Before we get to our other stories, don’t forget to tune in tonight to see our own Bari Weiss talk life, faith, and loss with Erika Kirk; 8 p.m. ET on CBS. Meanwhile, Kat Rosenfield explains why the final season of Stranger Things doesn’t work; Eli Lake unpacks why Jews wrote some of the most famous Christmas songs; Tyler Cowen says: Let the kids go on social media; and Elena Bridgers writes about the downsides of playing with your kids.
How should you spend your weekend? We asked Josh Code for recommendations. . .
📚 Read . . . Taking Manhattan, by Russell Shorto. New Yorkers will know from many a land acknowledgment that we are living on the unceded land of the Lenape tribe—taken by the Dutch in 1626. But the lesser-known—and arguably more important—“taking” of Manhattan actually happened 38 years later, when British colonel Richard Nicolls wrested control of America’s most famous island from its then-ruler, Dutch colonist Peter Stuyvesant. Historian Russell Shorto digs into the contest of wills between the two men that shaped America’s prerevolutionary history, drawing upon newly translated documents to reveal dozens of larger-than-life characters that turned my view of American colonial history upside-down: the Jewish butcher who fought for full citizenship, the Native American woman whose prescient warning of British conquest was ignored by the Dutch, and the enslaved African woman who petitioned for her freedom—and won.
📺 Watch . . . Rental Family. In my pick for the feel-good movie of the year, Brendan Fraser stars as Phillip, a down-on-his-luck expat actor in Tokyo who gets hired to play stand-in roles in the lives of lonely strangers—fiancé, father, best friend. When a Japanese woman hires him to play her daughter’s long-absent father, hijinks and hilarity ensue—and their newfound bond blurs the line between real and rehearsed. Fraser is a joy to watch. If you’ve ever wished for a more upbeat—but equally profound—alternative to Lost in Translation, look no further. I laughed, I cried, and I booked a plane ticket to Tokyo afterward.
🍳 Eat . . . Alison Roman’s Spiced Chickpea Stew with Coconut and Turmeric, aka “The Stew.” This recipe is famous for a reason. It is the coziest, tastiest stew that I can’t live without in the winter—I make it once every couple weeks from October through April. It’s delicious, easy to shop for, and keeps really well in the fridge for a few days of leftovers. Make it “Code-style” for extra protein: Air-fry some turmeric-seasoned chicken, chop it up, toss it in, and enjoy.
Last but not least: A lesson in dealing with profound grief through humor from Conan O’Brien and Will Arnett on the “Conan O’Brien Needs a Friend” podcast.
The Free Press earns a commission from any purchases made through all book links in this article.
Wow! Now Ackerman tells us how to propose. I only wish he was around 46 years ago so I knew how! Could I have used last week’s “How to write a note” and written my proposal? But I guess I couldn’t unless I was properly dressed when I wrote it. Next week, how to properly wipe? I am so glad I can print these all and catalog them in my E Ackerman Guide to Living Properly album.
“The Jewish butcher who fought for full citizenship”
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I love how this somehow devolved into Democrats importing slave ships full of antisemite butchers from Somalia.