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A Man Should Know: How to Propose
“A proposal is the first shared decision of a marriage.” (H. Armstrong Roberts/Retrofile via Getty Images)
The first step in a happy marriage might be a private proposal.
By Elliot Ackerman
12.12.25 — Culture and Ideas
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Welcome back to A Man Should Know, a weekly column from Elliot Ackerman about how today’s lost boys can become tomorrow’s good men. This week, Elliot discusses one of the most important moments in any man’s life: the day he asks someone to marry him.

A few years ago, I was catching up with an old friend. He had gone to the same college as I did, though was a few years behind. We both had served in the Marines and had many areas of overlap. From time to time, he’d come to me for advice. His freshman year, he met a girl, and the two of them dated all through college, and through his deployments.

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Elliot Ackerman
Elliot Ackerman is a New York Times best-selling author of numerous works of fiction and nonfiction, including the novels 2034, Waiting for Eden, and Dark at the Crossing, as well as the memoirs The Fifth Act: America’s End in Afghanistan and Places and Names: On War, Revolution, and Returning. His books have been nominated for the National Book Award, the Andrew Carnegie Medal in both fiction and nonfiction, and the Dayton Literary Peace Prize, among others. He is a contributing writer at The Atlantic, a senior fellow at Yale’s Jackson School of Global Affairs, and a veteran of the Marine Corps and CIA special operations, having served five tours of duty in Iraq and Afghanistan, where he received the Silver Star, the Bronze Star for Valor, and the Purple Heart. He divides his time between New York City and Washington, D.C.
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