“Three years ago, premarital sex was outlawed in the United States except for one night a year.”
The premise of the new rom-com One Night Only could not be clearer—it flashes on-screen at the beginning of the movie—and yet, it begs about a million questions, none of which are answered. If you ignore this, plus most of the acting and the gratuitous product placement, it’s actually not a bad film. It’s the perfect plane movie.
Set in New York City, One Night Only, follows Owen—an unreasonably handsome pizza maker played by Dua Lipa’s new husband, also known as Callum Turner—and Allie, a stage-shy singer played by Monica Barbaro (who was the Joan Baez to Timothée Chalamet’s Bob Dylan in A Complete Unknown). Two people you might want to see naked, but apparently, they took out all the sex scenes in post-production because focus groups kept insisting that young people these days do not want to see too much bare skin—unlike millennial moms, who can’t get enough of all the horny hockey shows coming out.
Anyway, Owen is planning on proposing to his girlfriend, who reveals to him, over an omakase dinner, with couples practically copulating at tables all around them, that she’s planning on sleeping with their neighbor that night instead of him. Allie finds herself once again single on this fateful evening, shimmying into a silky dress to meet a friend at a bar with a hope of getting lucky. The random no-sex law may sound dystopian, but it dawned on me: They didn’t need to invent a weird transhumanist holiday! This is just New Year’s Eve for single people!
Allie and Owen keep meeting, as the night devolves, as they both hunt for The One: at the police station, his pizza shop, a lighthouse. This is a New York City in which one might travel to The Bronx, deep Brooklyn, the West Village, Chinatown, and the Hudson River, all in one night—also dubious.
“I know I just met the guy, but I actually think he could be someone special,” Allie reports to Owen, as they fight over the last condom in a bodega. (Part of the rules of the one-night-only is that, legally, you must use protection.) “What does he get on his pizza?” Owen shoots back. “If you have a real connection with someone, you know what kind of pizza they like.”
This is what counts for witty back-and-forth dialogue in a rom-com nowadays. But at least these two have chemistry (don’t compare this to the Mount Rushmore of rom-coms—Pretty Woman, When Harry Met Sally . . ., Notting Hill, and Annie Hall) while trying to connect.
What’s this movie trying to say? Is it that having an oppressive government that curtails carnal pleasure might actually help people find true love? Is it a warning about what might happen if we allow a full transhumanist surveillance state to take over, since the sex prohibition is monitored through biological trackers implanted in everyone’s skin? Who knows?! The movie isn’t political, and isn’t trying to make a point about the culture wars. But my theater was full of laughs, gasps, and a few approving “yups!”
I’m all for fun films about hot people, of which there have been very few in the last few years. One Night Only was like a much dumber version of Valentine’s Day, or He’s Just Not That Into You, movies from 2010 and 2009 respectively, which were stuffed full of beautiful people, cheap jokes, and the kind of storylines it’s best not to think too hard about. This was a pale shade of a great genre that should not be left to wither. At the very least, I left the theater with a smile.
Face Tats in the Bible Belt
Nearly half of Americans ages 30 to 49 have at least one tattoo. Kids’ names on biceps, religious iconography on a pec, a flower on a shoulder blade, and if you’re in Denver, a geometric design on a calf: All these have become socially acceptable. But there’s one category that still inspires double takes, and that’s face tattoos.
Often called “job stoppers,” face tattoos are one of the last taboos; in a world where you can wear whatever you like, dye your hair weird colors, and proudly discuss your kinks, a face tattoo still inspires strangers to ask, “What the hell were you thinking?”
That’s according to the tattoo enthusiasts and artists who I spoke to for a story about face ink in South Carolina, the only state where they’re illegal—a status quo that’s being challenged by a new lawsuit that argues the prohibition is a violation of the First Amendment.
But even if they win the right to get a face tattoo, should the good people of South Carolina exercise it? Tyler Hall, a religious tattoo artist with “seven or eight” face tattoos tells me: Yes, if you pray to God first. Another South Carolinian, Sampson Stanko, describes the process of getting his face tattoos removed like “a scary movie,” and wants to kick his younger self.
Read my piece on the legality and history of inking your own face in the Bible Belt:
Brad Pitt is drinking again, and to him I say: Go for it! But for the female celebrities, like Reese Witherspoon, who are dating finance bros, I have a question: If even the junior analysts are dating supermodels and pop stars, who’s left for the rest of us?
I talk about all this, and more, in the latest episode of Second Thought, with my co-host Dan Ahdoot. Listen wherever you get your podcasts, or watch the video here:
Here’s What Else I’m Thinking About:
The Japanese government announced that men will now be allowed to wear shorts in the office for the first time. The decision was targeted at making office life more appealing, while also cutting down on air-conditioning to preserve energy. They say it’s part of Japan’s “Cool Biz” initiative, but apparently a lot of women have complained about being able to see their male co-workers’ hairy legs. I was sympathetic, until I found out the average thermostat in Tokyo is set to 80 degrees.
My colleague Maya Sulkin dug into how Gen Z employees are taking advantage of the Family and Medical Leave Act (FMLA) to disappear for weeks on end—often with pay. For some people she spoke to, it was a lifesaver—one person was able to care for their sick parents—but for others, it meant skipping off to Bali and becoming an influencer. Is FMLA just another modern-day benefit, or a sign that Gen Z can’t hack work?
If you’ve looked at a red carpet lately, you’ll know that celebrities are skinnier than ever. A couple years ago, that might’ve been just because of Ozempic—but today, there’s a whole new class of drugs that celebs and other elites are shooting up to look and feel their best. They’re called peptides, and they’re getting more and more popular. This week, Tablet’s Adam Lehrer explains which ones might change your life.
This has been Second Thought, my weekly newsletter about popular—and unpopular—culture. You can sign up here!
“If you ignore this, plus most of the acting and the gratuitous product placement, it’s actually not a bad film.”
Glorious. I literally laughed out loud.
Fun review @Suzy Weiss.