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Dr. Jill Biden, Kamala’s campaign, and parks. There’s a lot to be grateful for in 2024. Nellie Bowles, for TGIF, from The Free Press.
President Joe Biden pardons turkeys at the White House ahead of Thanksgiving Day on November 25, 2024, in Washington, D.C. (Chen Mengtong via Getty Images)

TGIF: Thankful Edition

Dr. Jill Biden, Kamala’s campaign, and parks. There’s a lot to be grateful for in 2024.

What I like to do to honor Thanksgiving is think about all the things I should have, but don’t.

This year the theme is Bitcoin. Why don’t I have some? I was writing about Bitcoin back in 2014. I came back from a conference and laughed my head off at how silly it was. Money that doesn’t exist! I shook my head knowingly with fellow Berkeleyites. As if all our dollars really existed. As if I understood fungibility. Now, with Bitcoin about to hit $100,000 a pop, I think of the ways I would be thankful if I had a bunch of those, tons and tons of them. Everyone around me seems to have Bitcoin. My wife’s scruffy cousin appears to have a little pep in his step, doesn’t he? The teenager who doesn’t want to babysit this year, you say? I look at my children and then think of the times I almost bought Bitcoin and how thankful I would be to rewind the clock and move my one little finger to click BUY.

Anyway, I don’t have a lick of crypto. All I have is good food, good kids, a good wife, high cheekbones, and this column. And I’d trade nothing except the colicky baby for a Bitcoin. Also:

→ Dr. Jill Biden: After watching a funny short video that shows Joe Biden seeming to wander into an Amazon rainforest, I realized to my shock that Joe Biden is still there. He’s still standing at podiums looking translucent and confused, but technically upright. When I see him, every fiber in my body wants to put a blanket over his shoulders. And so this year, I’m thankful for our presumed president: Dr. Jill Biden.

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