Welcome back. You may have noticed our beautiful new website. All those weeks I was out for “maternity leave” were actually spent hammering out fonts and graphics. Yes, I did it all myself, with no involvement from someone named Daniel Hallac. Glad that’s clear. Now let’s get to the news!
→ ’Tis the season: Our once and future First Lady, Melania Trump, spent this week on Fox & Friends, a major show on a major news network, selling Christmas ornaments:
Melania: “So these are the ornaments that are available this season, this is the third season that I design, and they are very special. For example, ‘Lady Liberty,’ it was inspiration from my necklace that I bought when I was modeling in Paris. And now we have ornament, and we have also a necklace that is available on melaniatrump.com.”
Brian Kilmeade: “These are awesome. These are fantastic.”
Melania: “And they’re very patriotic this year, you can see it’s all red, white, and blue. . . . it’s a great gift and a great collectible, they’re beautiful.”
The ornament is called “Merry Christmas, AMERICA!” Crafted from brass and enamel, it also comes with Melania’s signature and the option of a “digital collectible.”
Leaving aside the fact that our First Lady doing an infomercial for Christmas ornaments is exactly what the framers of the Constitution intended, do we think this is just a preview for what’s to come? I feel that in this next Trump term (second term of maybe five or six total), there will not be a White House news peg without something to sell alongside it. Holidays are obvious. But I’m talking natural disasters (Trump Insurance, obviously), jobs numbers (Trump La-Z-Boys), healthcare reform (RFK Jr. barbells and tallow oil), turkey pardonings (pay to dine with Don Jr.), and foreign visits (buy the shoes Trump wore in North Korea! Or a digitized rendering!).
→ Okay, now we can talk about the deficit: And it’s so bad! We’re in debt bad, sweetie. We’re in “bring Daddy this drink and go to your room” debt. We’re in “check the mattress” debt. But at least we can finally say it! That’s per United States Secretary of the Treasury Janet Yellen this week, who poured herself a Scotch and said: “I am concerned about fiscal sustainability, and I am sorry we haven’t made more progress. I believe that the deficit needs to be brought down.” I am concerned about fiscal sustainability, she says. The next guy better not spend too much or do anything crazy. Deficit is the key word now for the Dems as Biden sundowns in the Oval. And I’m happy, I guess. I, too, think our spending is crazy.
To recap, Biden spent $175 billion forgiving student loans, which every economic analysis agreed was a handout for the affluent, a cash transfer to his staffers and their friends, a bailout for a corrupt university system. Surely Janet Yellen has been saying deficit all along, right? Let me check her comments from right before the election, here reported in Fortune magazine:
Huh. Hmm. Right. Thanks, Janet.
