Bad Therapy is such an important read. I've already passed on the recommendation widely. My big concern: how can this be reversed? I suspect with a lot of communication and introspection, parents can focus on building resiliency. But that will be hard if your social circle is a cadre of "gentle" parents. But entire education establishmen…
Bad Therapy is such an important read. I've already passed on the recommendation widely. My big concern: how can this be reversed? I suspect with a lot of communication and introspection, parents can focus on building resiliency. But that will be hard if your social circle is a cadre of "gentle" parents. But entire education establishment still thinks this social emotional dysfunction actually works. Is it going to take whole groups of like-minded parents creating new cooperative schools? Do we need a movement that's like a counter-programming PTA?
Ahhhh...........there it is; resiliency. I watched as my son developed resiliency by his own ideas and actions. It was tough at first, but over time became something that was very satisfying for my wife and I. FYI, he strongly resisted talking to a counselor/therapist in lieu of figuring it out himself. We seem to have ceded this growth to the psychological services which seem to delay it, producing extended dependent children or at its worse inept adults.
I chuckle recalling my youngest, now 27. When he was little and took a spill, his first reaction was to look around to see who saw it. If he detected an adult, he burst into tears. If you saw it through a window and he didn't know you were watching, he'd dust himself off and keep going. Too much oversight and too much validation of trauma seems to backfire. (He's a ruggedly independent adult now!)
And on a related topic, I wonder how much of what's going on with "gentle" parents is their own striving played out through their kids? Get into a group of professional class parents and the deeply held desire to get their child into the Ivy league drives all manner of bad behavior. Are kids really improved by being sent on choreographed "volunteer missions" or would camping with family be better? Have a kid playing a youth sport that's told by age 12 or 13 they must specialize, focus on one sport only, and play it year-round, and define success as being on the NHL draft track seems a prescription for disappointment, burnout, and neuroticism. But the parents just "want what's best" for their kids. Really?
Bad Therapy is such an important read. I've already passed on the recommendation widely. My big concern: how can this be reversed? I suspect with a lot of communication and introspection, parents can focus on building resiliency. But that will be hard if your social circle is a cadre of "gentle" parents. But entire education establishment still thinks this social emotional dysfunction actually works. Is it going to take whole groups of like-minded parents creating new cooperative schools? Do we need a movement that's like a counter-programming PTA?
Ahhhh...........there it is; resiliency. I watched as my son developed resiliency by his own ideas and actions. It was tough at first, but over time became something that was very satisfying for my wife and I. FYI, he strongly resisted talking to a counselor/therapist in lieu of figuring it out himself. We seem to have ceded this growth to the psychological services which seem to delay it, producing extended dependent children or at its worse inept adults.
I chuckle recalling my youngest, now 27. When he was little and took a spill, his first reaction was to look around to see who saw it. If he detected an adult, he burst into tears. If you saw it through a window and he didn't know you were watching, he'd dust himself off and keep going. Too much oversight and too much validation of trauma seems to backfire. (He's a ruggedly independent adult now!)
And on a related topic, I wonder how much of what's going on with "gentle" parents is their own striving played out through their kids? Get into a group of professional class parents and the deeply held desire to get their child into the Ivy league drives all manner of bad behavior. Are kids really improved by being sent on choreographed "volunteer missions" or would camping with family be better? Have a kid playing a youth sport that's told by age 12 or 13 they must specialize, focus on one sport only, and play it year-round, and define success as being on the NHL draft track seems a prescription for disappointment, burnout, and neuroticism. But the parents just "want what's best" for their kids. Really?