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Julia Romano's avatar

I’m struck by this line: “There was something about motherhood that enabled me to see the fullness of our society’s rot more clearly.” Wow do I feel that. Three children in, the scales have fallen from my eyes. It’s hard for me to take heart in a system that so clearly and often values profit over people, especially when those little people are mine.

I also see the goodness, and the sameness, and the love for children that binds parents across demographic divides. We did check out of modernity to some degree--bought a farm in West Virginia, abandoning the DC bustle for beautiful country roads and scenes of rural poverty. What I’ve found here is a community that loves its kids. Even if we have different origins, we meet in that shared space.

I write about parenting, about walking each other home on the path of parenting, in my Substack. Would love to share it:

Juliaromano.substack.com

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Jane Foster's avatar

I'm sure my husband is not the only father out there who has had the same experience. Parenthood is beneficial to the soul.

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Alejandra's avatar

That was the line that stuck with me as well. Motherhood has drastically shifted my worldview and values. There is something that is engrained in all of us parents: we want for our children a future than is brighter our own, and there is a deep seated--almost instinctual--sense of anxiety that arises when we sense that our children’s prospects for the future are worse than ours were.

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frank l's avatar

I too was struck by the "society's rot" observation so the subtext of her story is noteworthy.

Perhaps it's not a coincidence that mothers are usually at the forefront of the battles against gun violence and drunk driving along with defending abortion rights.

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JAE's avatar

I do wish people would not assume that all women, mothers or otherwise, are for “abortion rights” whatever that means. We’re not.

Some of us believe with over 60 million babies aborted in the US alone, abortion is a form of infanticide, and an abomination no matter how you look at it. It should be legal, available but extremely rare. It certainly is not rare, it’s now used as a form of contraception, the multitude of abortions clearly demonstrates that.

If, as clearly many do after reading the news or articles such as this one that tells us America is “Broken”, you despair of the world and think we have all gone mad, don’t wonder too much about why. When you have the most vulnerable among us, the most innocent of all of us, being aborted in a multitude of millions, we will never live in a sane world.

We are reaping the wind.

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Skinny's avatar

I think and believe exactly like you, I had to delete my above post because I misunderstood abortion rights. I am pro life with the 4 exceptions end of post.

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frank l's avatar

So you don't believe having a choice should be everyone's right.

Ok ..so noted.

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ChatterW's avatar

To say it is a woman’s right to “choose” that’s all well and good. It must be admitted that when a woman has had almost a YEAR to make that choice it is she who has lost that “right”. Personally I believe that the left has pushed the envelope on this issue. Kathy Tran in Virginia had proposed legislation that would have allowed abortion up to north. Thank God that when the word got out it was roundly defeated. If you think about it, when a woman has missed at LEAST two cycles, that would be her first clue there might be something on the oven. A woman’s “right to choose”, in a moral (yes I dare to use that word) and just and rational society should be tempered with the reality that she is carrying a child within her. Not a toy, not a tumor, a child.

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Laurett Barrentine's avatar

An odd discussion point choice for this article and Mothers Day.

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JD Free's avatar

I believe life is everyone's right, and I believe that people like you who insist on dishonestly framing this belief are evil to the core.

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JAE's avatar

Oh for goodness sake, that’s the best response you can give to something so grave. I want to be civil with you, so if I’m coming across as irritated it’s because you address choosing abortion as if we are discussing choosing “paper or plastic”.

Why is it that the barbaric act, and it is barbaric, of abortion is a “right”? To imagine for one minute that abortion is an answer to solving a temporary “problem” which will disappear once the procedure is done is truly delusional. Because be assured it comes with horrendous consequences for far too many women. No one wants to face these facts nor deal with the fallout. Because “choice” is paramount.

I’d say, this attitude you express is in part why the country, perhaps even the world, is said to be “broken”. Abortion is a pall over us, many choose it for their career choices or so called “freedoms”. That’s clear from the millions being performed.

So, since from your comments you seem to give such credence to choice, here’s a choice we all have - choose freely available contraceptives!

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Skinny's avatar

JAE it’s the Federal $$$, take away the money, you will see how popular free contraception is!

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WhidbeyMolly's avatar

Interesting, 'having a choice should be everyone's right'. (I know you didn't say this, JAE). Except the child in the womb, maybe? And choice to do what? There are many choices we have no right to make.

I appreciate your words about the after affects of abortion many women experience. I think so many of us find it so hard to talk about. Today, I am joining a study/healing group for women who have had abortions. I had one 37 years ago, when I was 19. It was a very traumatic experience, and I knew that day what I had chosen to do to someone else's body and life, my own child's. It messed me up for a long time. There's been much healing since then, but more to do. Part of that is being able to talk about it with others. I hope I can be of comfort to someone else, too. Happy Mother's Day to all! xoxoxo

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JAE's avatar

I’m so sorry, WhidbeyMolly. I can empathize with you completely. We bear the guilt of our “choice” for the rest of our lives and there’s no getting away from it. My faith helps me through, and in the end we must forgive ourselves. With your honesty I’m sure you have already brought some healing and help. Thank you, and bless you.

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WhidbeyMolly's avatar

JAE , I feel your love, thank you ❤️

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Skinny's avatar

Happy Mother’s Day sorry for your awful experience ❤️

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WhidbeyMolly's avatar

Thank you. I do have two lovely young adult children now, so thankful!

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Skinny's avatar

❤️❤️

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Lynne Morris's avatar

JAE said abortion should be legal, available and extremely rare. That you interpret this as a denial of choice means you accept the snuffing out of life as the solution to irresponsibility. So noted.

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Skinny's avatar

Well posted Lynne.

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Dystopian Housewife's avatar

Same. No experience has transformed me - spiritually, politically, and personally - like motherhood.

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Kristin's avatar

I couldn't agree with you more!

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Julia Romano's avatar

PS you might enjoy my writing if you too see parenthood as aligning with walking a spiritual path...it’s my way of sense-making in these overwhelming times. Juliaromano.substack.com

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Julia Romano's avatar

Yes! There are undoubtedly other ways to come into contact with self-realization but motherhood is the express train.

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Skinny's avatar

Yip more like a bullet train 😂😂but worth the journey.

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