To the Class of 2024: You Are All Diseased

Students from Columbia’s School of Professional Studies attend their graduation ceremony on May 10, 2024, in New York City. The college’s main commencement ceremony was canceled amid pro-Palestinian protests on campus. (Photo by Michael M. Santiago via Getty Images)
The commencement speech you need to hear.
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If you are graduating from college this year, I suspect you’re not too familiar with George Carlin. So before you become inflamed about the (intentionally) harsh title, let me tell you I plagiarized it from Carlin, who was one of the best American comedians of the last 100 years. His show You Are All Diseased is available on YouTube, and it is so good t…
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