Hello and welcome back. Just one announcement today, which is that Coleman Hughes will be talking to that wonderful skeptic Michael Shermer on February 9. The topic is: How to Tell What’s True When Everyone’s Yelling. Seems. . . topical. And it’ll be at the Comedy Cellar, so you know it’s a good vibe. There will be drinks. Get your tickets here.
Now to the news.
→ Trump’s Board of Peace(™): President Donald J. this week has launched his Board of Peace. It’s a parallel United Nations, but run by the United States and Trump is the leader of it, indefinitely. Will it replace the United Nations? It “might,” he said, but later said the board would have “tremendous potential with the United Nations.” So really he’s just creating more competition for international federations. A free market for free markets! By the way, everyone’s invited to Trump’s version of the UN: Russia, China, Saudi Arabia, even the Pope. No one is quite sure what the new Board of Peace means, exactly. “The pope has received an invitation and we are considering what to do,” the top Vatican diplomat told journalists. “I believe it will be something that requires a bit of time for consideration before giving a response.” Does the Board of Peace have an army? A constitution? Does it include Trump golf club memberships? Gift bags? Is it just that you get invited to Jared Kushner and Steve Witkoff’s text chain? All we know for sure is that it costs $1 billion for a permanent seat on the Trump Board of Peace, which is just a little less than your average private K–8 school board seat.
When news broke about how expensive membership would be—ONE BILLION BIG ONES—the White House Rapid Response team pushed back. “This is misleading. There is no minimum membership fee to join the Board of Peace,” they wrote. Okay, cool, no membership fee! But then their next sentence: “This simply offers permanent membership to partner countries who demonstrate deep commitment to peace, security, and prosperity.” Okay, well. So. It’s not a membership fee, it’s just a demonstration of deep commitment that you want to keep your seat. This is like when the FP business team debates whether to rebrand our subscriptions as memberships. Like, I’m okay with that, I won’t fight it, but let’s all be adults here—it’s a subscription to a digital magazine, albeit with America’s most gorgeous Friday columnists. But it’s not a velvety club to drink a martini in. The United Nations, that den of iniquity, should absolutely be disbanded. I’m not sure I would replace it with the team behind the Trump Steak of the Month club and such, but no one else is offering. Not unrelated: Here is New Gaza, presented by Jared Kushner:
What is this, a clothing website I almost bought something from two years ago? And look at that new Board of Peace logo! It’s so. . . shiny and gold. Wasn’t NATO kind of the original Board of Peace? Are we ditching that one too?
