Hello, TGIFers. Cole Tomas Allen, if you’re reading this, you didn’t get me this time. How’d that carpet taste? America’s most glamorous assassination attempt. If all this drama seems fun, well, join our team. We’re looking for a Social Media Manager and a Social Media Video Producer. Both roles are full-time and on-site in New York. You can fill out the formal application or email a great letter to jobs@thefp.com.
Next, on May 17, we’re back at the Comedy Cellar for a Sunday afternoon of stand-up, emceed by Judy Gold. The only thing bigger than the laughs she gets are her glasses. And on May 19, School of War host Aaron MacLean sits down with historian Niall Ferguson for a live conversation at the New York Historical, covering the Middle East, China, military deterrence, the future of American power, and the compatibility of their astrological signs.
To the news.
→ White House Correspondents’ Dinner: Is it even big news anymore when people try to assassinate Trump? It’s a blip. Happens so often. I’ll scrape the back pages of America’s newspapers to find tidbits. Okay, so: It appears that the White House Correspondents’ Dinner was derailed after a crazed left-wing gunman allegedly stormed the hotel lobby to try to kill Trump. Shots were fired. Then he was stripped and rolled up in a tinfoil wrap like a little burrito (our copy editor tells me it’s a Mylar blanket). The only times a person gets wrapped in tinfoil are if they try to shoot the president or if they finish a marathon. Quite a delta between those endeavors, but the same outcome. And the dinner was canceled. Nothing to worry about.
When journalists walked out of the ballroom, they were met by normal, run-of-the-mill protesters who carried signs reading: DEATH TO ALL OF THEM (a Wendy Williams reference). And DEATH TO TYRANT (the singular makes it more aggressive, I think). Everything is good. There is no relation between the protester holding a sign that says DEATH TO ALL OF THEM and the gunman inside trying to bring. . . death to all of them. He’s just mentally ill, I’m sure. There is no popular movement encouraging people to slaughter their political enemies en masse.
Photos via Katie Pavlich of what she saw as she left the assassination-attempt dinner. No big deal, purely symbolic, no need for the mainstream media to cover any of this:
When I logged into Bluesky and Threads to check the temperature, some normal-seeming media figures were arguing the shooter himself was an inside job to garner sympathy for old Trumpo. But the dominant energy was bloodlust. Clara Jeffery, the editor in chief of the progressive magazine Mother Jones (I like her a lot), tried to calm down her followers on Bluesky: “People here are being really shitty, including at fellow journalists who’ve been traumatized, and you will regret those posts. Or should. Also this does not help your political cause, whatever that might be.” But blood was what they wanted. Blood had been denied. She had to turn off replies.
Some interesting context from last month is that nearly half of Dems think the Butler, Pennsylvania, assassination attempt on Trump was faked. A Manhattan Institute poll found that 47 percent of Democrats believe “the July 2024 assassination attempt on Trump was orchestrated by his supporters to increase sympathy for him.” Half! Half of Democrats think Trump supporters organized for someone to shoot at the president’s ear and kill a random father in the stands.
