As the mom of a teen who is stereotypical of the youth Abigail Shrier is describing AND a former foster mom of children who have experienced the traditional definition of trauma, I sincerely appreciate the distinction she makes between universal human difficulties and truly traumatic events. It seems to me the first two letter-writers, w…
As the mom of a teen who is stereotypical of the youth Abigail Shrier is describing AND a former foster mom of children who have experienced the traditional definition of trauma, I sincerely appreciate the distinction she makes between universal human difficulties and truly traumatic events. It seems to me the first two letter-writers, while charitable, had not quite grasped that. They also seemed to miss her acknowledgment that the troubles the children experienced were REAL, just exacerbated by, well, bad therapy. Return to the word “foster”: it means to nurture, to care for, to equip, to facilitate growth. In our culture we FOSTER ideas and attitudes and narratives. Sometimes we do that with sound and principled reason, and, sometimes, we let our mercurial feelings do it…alas, even those with the most scientific insights into the human psyche. I think every therapy-training should start with the chant: “Your feelings are real, but they don’t dictate reality!”
Your point about “normal human difficulties” versus “trauma” is an excellent one. I think, in general, our culture is poor at distinguishing between the two. It’s part and parcel of our affluenza. The past couple of generations have lived in a time of extraordinary peace and luxury compared to previous generations. The result seems to be that we expect calm seas all the time, and when a storm develops, we do not have the internal resources to cope with it, nor the resilience we need to recover from it.
As the mom of a teen who is stereotypical of the youth Abigail Shrier is describing AND a former foster mom of children who have experienced the traditional definition of trauma, I sincerely appreciate the distinction she makes between universal human difficulties and truly traumatic events. It seems to me the first two letter-writers, while charitable, had not quite grasped that. They also seemed to miss her acknowledgment that the troubles the children experienced were REAL, just exacerbated by, well, bad therapy. Return to the word “foster”: it means to nurture, to care for, to equip, to facilitate growth. In our culture we FOSTER ideas and attitudes and narratives. Sometimes we do that with sound and principled reason, and, sometimes, we let our mercurial feelings do it…alas, even those with the most scientific insights into the human psyche. I think every therapy-training should start with the chant: “Your feelings are real, but they don’t dictate reality!”
Your point about “normal human difficulties” versus “trauma” is an excellent one. I think, in general, our culture is poor at distinguishing between the two. It’s part and parcel of our affluenza. The past couple of generations have lived in a time of extraordinary peace and luxury compared to previous generations. The result seems to be that we expect calm seas all the time, and when a storm develops, we do not have the internal resources to cope with it, nor the resilience we need to recover from it.