I take your point, Susan. But there is no school in teaching people how to become good parents (there never has been), especially when they themselves may not be well educated. This is not only a Gen Z issue of either liberal or conservative bent (which I have trouble understanding how any 16 yr old kid can fit under any political moniker so early), it involves society as whole. And when faced with the onslaught of the new technologies in a device that their kids can hide under a pillow or in a pocket, expect burdened parents living from pay check to pay check to lose whatever control they thought they had..
This is unbridled unchecked capitalism harming the most vulnerable segments of our population, and parents alone cannot solve it. Whatever platform they call themselves, from TikTok, Instagram ,Tumblir, 4chan and on and on - we live in a sea of hobbits comparing themselves negatively to the influencers, we have the aggrieved glued to the prior aggrieved, we have hostility and the passivity of the perceived powerless - and when ascribed to adults it's already bad enough. But when this reaches down to the yet unformed minds of puberty stricken youth already mired in competition, confusion and chaos - we have to deal with this as basically a controlled substance that must be regulated. Brain tissue is malleable, and we have gone too far.
IтАЩm the parent youтАЩre telling тАЬto parentтАЭ. We had a stay-at-home parent through my daughterтАЩs life. Phone given to her at 15 years old with all the restrictions. Graduated high school well-adjusted, academically successful...just a great kid. After 2 years at Auburn, she was an angry progressive, depressed, suicidal stranger. SheтАЩs been in hundreds of hours of counseling but refuses to accept responsibility for her wellness. At 25, sheтАЩs isolated herself to her apartment where she works from home and plays video games every night. Zero friends. Over Christmas, we were forced to have her removed from our house after she started accusing us of decades of abuse. You can do everything right as a parent and watch society unravel your child. ItтАЩs been heartbreaking and I pray for parents everywhere.
I am really sorry. I have heard similar stories from other families. Young activists have in the past told me they learned at college that they had a responsibility to "hold people accountable" (for the ever expanding list of sins that Gen Z spends its time manufacturing). They practice on their parents and siblings. Who knows what these young people are really so angry about?
I am so so sorry. Most parents are doing the best they can. It sounds like you have and are, doing the best you can to raise and help your daughter. While it may be little consolation, IтАЩm praying for your family.
Piranha, so so sorry to hear of your daughter's struggles...the modern university is a toxic cesspool of lunacy. Parents should be very wary of the large majority of them, from what I know. Time to de-fund, dismantle, and re-imagine higher ed--now.
I am sorry that you are going through this. Since your children are older than mine, I am curioua to know how much financial responsibility did your daughter have? Did she pay her own way or did she rely on you mostly?
We paid for college, which was our agreement as long as she made good grades and stayed out of trouble, which she did. She had part time jobs as well. But she wasnтАЩt as financially independent or savvy enough, in my opinion. After graduation, her behavior has cost her multiple jobs...she complains, gossips, manipulates HR policies. SheтАЩs decided sheтАЩs the victim and aligns her actions accordingly.
Thanks. Interestingly, our 2 sons were raised the same way, but have stayed closer to home and are well-adjusted (for a 17 & 20 year oldЁЯША). Having this experience with our daughter feels like weтАЩre living in an alternate reality. I tell parents to not assume an SEC school protects their children from progressive peer pressure.
"I tell parents to not assume an SEC school protects their children from progressive peer pressure."
The Woke Virus has infected virtually the entire university system in the US, including those in what might be assumed to be "conservative" parts of the country. Faculty at SEC schools come from the same ideologically polluted stream as everyone else.
UnfortunatelyтАжeducated young women seem to be prone to this, imo. IтАЩve seen a similar dynamic happen with my younger sister, also despite a somewhat structured, тАЮnormalтАЬ upbringing.
Susan, thanks for your comment, but truth be told, in this social climate, I'm not sure it is possible for parents to keep their children off social media. Short of living a life-below-zero existence in the Alaskan bush, the social pressure to take part is overwhelming. Kids would be turning their parents into CPS for depriving them of social media.
As Hillary famously noted, "it takes a village to raise a child." Turns out, it also takes one to eff them up.
Got news for you -bush Alaska has high speed internet. We have many or more of the same problems with our youth. Made for tv shows are just that. They donтАЩt show the whole other world of multigenerational substance abuse and government dependency. Our educational test scores are some of the lowest in the nation. Legal weed hasnтАЩt helped matters any either. A trip to Anchorage will reveal homelessness at astounding levels.
True enough, but if parents, now the wiser, waited until the kids were 17 r 18 to get them a smartphone (one can buy them cheapie flip phones with no internet capability will do a lot to eliminate doom scrolling.
All efforts are worthwhile. And, at the same time I agree that it takes a village to eff the kids up and there is a strong effort by the state/schools to do so. We need to take down the Trans Industrial Education Medical Complex and the "GenderBread" person ideology. I think the teen years are the most dangerous now for girls on this. Imagine anorexia taught by the state and "don't be a BulimiaPhobe". And, CPS has been weaponized against parents.
Hi LM - This link infuriated me, I have to say. It took Bradley until the age of 80 to open her mouth? Look, I'm glad she did, but at this point (and in that particular newspaper), who's going to take her seriously? Maybe she'll go on tour and the same people who insisted the truckers' convoy was a bunch of racist hooligans will have similar words for her. Forgive my cynicism. Better late than never, I suppose.
I hear you. Answer: probably no one. The Tavistock closing did not even get reported in mainstream newspapers. But, I'm glad she did it at least. Maybe someday her words can get added to a plaque at a museum on the Trans Travesty that occurred in the earlyish 21st century.
Bollucks. I have 10 year old twins and we have NEVER bought them an IPad or phone. We insisted on role playing, reading to them, teaching them their ABCs and I am so happy I did because all that hard work has paid off the last decade. Our kids are more mature than their peers (teacher's words) and are resilient. They know they won't get a phone with internet through us. Gab Wireless is a great option when we need to get one and when they start working at 14 { I know the horror!} They can purchase their own plan if they choose. Go against the grain, teach them personal responsibility and accountability. Here are my tips for any parent that wants it:
1) Give them routine unpaid chores.
2) Have them start managing their money at 6; purchase a wallet and put money in there from birthdays, holidays etc. And have them use it when making their purchases
3) Expose them to life events. When my father died at 59, my kids were 4 and I did not shelter them from the experience. They saw me cry and grieve. They understand life and death.
4) Tell then repeatedly that life isn't fair and it's not supposed to be. This makes them grateful for all the good they do have.
5) Implement religion or at least religious teachings of being kind to your neighbor etc.
I rolled my eyes when I read "10 year olds" but I likely thought in a similar way at that stage. We read to them and our daughter is a tremendous reader & seemed very mature at age 10. I agree about money management, etc. Your advice is sound but cannot protect kids from everything in our current culture. Good luck to you. - LM
I realize that the next decade will bring it's own set of challenges but from our friend group and the issues that most of my friends are having with their children all below the age of 10; I consider us blessed. And thank you, I know I will need it to combat this culture of victimization.
I agree with you. But, are you going to keep them completely off of laptops and flip phones through high school? We got our girl the flip phone during high school and the laptop was for school work. She got the nonsense from other kids and the school was all over it before we knew it was a thing around 2017. I will add that she is ok now but it was a family nightmare. Ten year olds are easy... Wait for the teen years - which have never been easy... Our daughter was very easy all her life until about half way through high school.
Thank you for saying this. Most importantly - let your kids make mistakes and suffer natural consequences. By "natural" I mean not punishment that parents mete out, but shivering as a result of inadequate winter clothing. Let them get hurt, emotionally and physically. Bubble-wrapping your home and driving your kids everywhere doesn't benefit anyone.
They will get onto social media one way or another - they need to have computers for school. What will keep them grounded is the character you build when they're little.
Yes, and I know this is counter intuitive to what many parents lean into. I myself have had to work on it. But in the end I keep thinking, what kind of adult do I want them to be? Self sufficient, responsible and mentally stable. So I am really trying to foster an environment to make those things possible.
Exactly right. And, we are living in an "Affirmation Generation" with billions to be made on "trans" and all forces working against the family and our stressed out daughters. When will people connect the dots? I do not think that the issue is most of the parents have abdicated their responsibilities. There is an active TransCult endorsed from the Federal level via Richard/Rachael Levine and the teachers unions.
Families desperately try to shelter their girls and they try moving but it's the culture and the law now.
Really, тАЬwhateverтАЭ?? I donтАЩt see it as side stepping the issue. I do have a job and I do have kids. I have 2 awesome daughters. With these things come pretty significant pulls on my time. ItтАЩs different to read my post (or yours, which I did read by the way) than pursuing an endless rabbit hole of articles that youтАЩve assigned.
IтАЩm glad you finally got to the part where you call me a man and the backhanded intolerance. Why do you feel sorry for me? I donтАЩt. I love being a trans woman.
People clearly care about adults going to drag shows. Republican controlled state legislatures are rife with proposed anti-drag bills among other anti-trans legislation. Where are these school drag shows you are talking about? IтАЩve seen videos of kids going to drag shows with their parents and the outrage that follows this consenting parental choice. WhatтАЩs the difference between taking my kids to Hooters and a drag show? IтАЩve seen the videos of drag queen story hour. Again a consenting parental choice. God forbid someone dresses up to read to kids in a time when kids are having historic struggles with literacy.
Did you ever see Mrs. Doubtfire? What about any of the other many movies that show men or women dressed in drag? I donтАЩt see how anyone could watch those movies and not immediately think they are trans... (could you hear my sarcasm there???) ЁЯЩД
LovingMother, IтАЩm sorry, but I do not have the time to do extensive reading that you have assigned here. However, seeing as I am a trans woman, I do have some real life experience here.
All that I was saying is that you took an article about one thing (CBT, or lack there of) and made it about a different issue. I clearly disagree with you on many of the assertions that you make above about the тАЬtiny fraction of mainly middle aged menтАЭ, the majority of which just want to be able to navigate normal life without being accosted by every Karen that canтАЩt handle me using the stall next to them.
It may surprise you that transitioning was a very difficult decision for me. Mainly because I was afraid of the impact it would have on those closest to me and how the outside world would treat them and me.
It also may surprise you to learn that I actually agree with you on a great many of the things that you are speaking about with regards to gender affirming care for kids. My experience has shown me that I clearly did not have the emotional intelligence or a clear understanding of the consequences of that decision at a middle or high school level for that matter. I think that most elementary age kids do not need to discuss this until it becomes relevant to them.
I believe this is a broader problem that our society has where we take very nuanced issues and apply the most simple black and white definition of bad or good. In truth these things are complex. Gun control is a great example. I just bought my first gun. Lots of craziness out there you know. Christians are armed I figure I should be too.
Anyway, I walk into the gun store and buy a gun (Springfield Hellcat 9mm, itтАЩs pretty awesome) and I am struck not by the process of buying my innocent looking hand gun, but by the fact that there are full on military style rifles that I have no business owning. I have no idea how they work, but my process for buying that is the same as the one I just bought. I think reasonable person would say, maybe you should need to take a class for that gun? Right? Maybe? ThatтАЩs not the case though. Gun rights groups are afraid of a slippery slope. They are afraid of not that gun law but the one to follow.
A similar case could be made about abortion and a great many other problems in our country. Trans people are afraid of the next law. Tennessee bans drag. What will the next law be? Arkansas bans trans people from bathrooms (which is bullshit by the way). Will they ban our hormone therapy next? My kid tells me that they are trans and IтАЩm enlightened enough to affirm them in a social transition, can the state of Texas take my kids?
Nuance is important. You cannot take an entire group of people and put them all in a box of тАЬtranscultтАЭ. That is how people are dehumanized, which leads to treatment that is not human. This is a human rights issue. We are human whether you choose to call us women/men or not. We used to be able to agree on this basic level, but again nuance has been lost.
And by the way, I know plenty of trans men. It is not just middle aged men that transition.
Whatever. You're a guy and if you had children to worry about you would be their father. I see you side step the issues in the articles I listed by saying you do not "have time" to read them yet I got through your entire post which talked about guns and Christians? This is not making the discussion about a different issue?
You would have been born with a name like Mike or Brandon. If you prefer "Ava" that's great. Of course, you are human and I wish you a good life. But, no amount of feelings or cosmetic alterations make you a woman, and that is why I prefer the older "transexual" to the new nonsense word "transwoman". I am sorry you suffer from a psychological disorder.
The black and white thinking aspect of reverse CBT discussed in the Haidt article really struck me because autistic people have black and white thinking. Many black and white thinkers who do not suffer from the sad mental disorder that is known as gender dysphoria (again - sorry for you) slide into Gender Ideology (a cult religion about being born into bodies) through black and white thinking. In your case maybe "transition" was the best path for you and a difficult decision that you made as an adult. But, we do not need to preach Queer Theory in the schools or bring drag performances into the schools. No one cares about adults going to Drag shows.
Okay LovingMother, I went back and read your articles, which in my opinion are kid of BS based on where you are sourcing them from, but I did go back and read them. If you would allow me, I appreciate it if you read this:
Weird this sounds like one of those CBT issues that the author is talking about. тАЬTransCultтАЭ seems like a generalization and something you canтАЩt control. Maybe you should look internally about the things you can control and just have a hard conversation about whatтАЩs out in the world with your kids rather than vilifying an entire group of people that you know nothing about. Just saying.
Many parents are upset about the promotion of Trans Ideology in the schools and society as a whole - ie that one is born into a correct or incorrect body - the teaching of the GenderBread person, how a child or teen body can be "fixed" with cross sex hormones and surgeries - when they cannot possibly understand the long term consequences. When kids take up Gender Ideology they become depressed and there personalities are changed for a time - they take on new names and do not trust outsider/non-believers, etc. It is indeed very cult like. And, why should there be Drag or other sexualized performances in the schools? If a woman behaved that way in front of children people who not have it.
It is understandable that people who have not experienced this onslaught in the family are thinking only about the tiny fraction of mainly middle aged men who suffer from a sad mental disorder which we call a dysphoria. But, the "cult" has jumped to calling it "gender euphoria". It is indeed very cult like. So, there isn't a better term for it than "Transcult" - especially with medical groups, schools, pharma, tech, media, government, you-name--it - all in with the ideology surrounding all things "gender". Contrary to what Biden says, this is not a "Civil Rights" movement for a small number of people who do not want to hear that they have a mental disorder. This is way past "understanding and kindness". Society and medicine are creating a pscyh problems. I think the term for this is iatrogenic.
As I reflect on this wonderful Haidt article I see we are doing a reverse CBT number on the teens with Gender Ideology which encourages black and white thinking, ie, if I like to build things I am a boy and if I am sensitive I am a girl. Also, if you are uncomfortable with puberty you are trans. There is a wonderful chart somewhere about how all questions a teen might ask lead to "you are trans" which somehow means "trapped in the wrong body" not "diiagnosed with a mental disorder known as a dyaphoria.". Many have observed that an outsized number of Transing Teens suffer from autism. Autistic people tend toward black and white thinking just as our culture of victimhood does...
Ava, it is by no means clear what one can control or not control,but that does not mean one does not try. And if I can have even a tiny bit of control over ending Pediatric Childhood Gnder Mutilation, I'm going to strive for it.
You have no idea what I know or do not know about "an entire group of people." So maybe you should just STFU. Just sayin.'
You probably saw this news - better late than never?
"'We were wrong': Pioneer of child sex change experiments ADMITS kids are harmed by medical 'gender-affirmation'
"The long and short of it is that the decision was made at a time when these kids were just too young to really know how they were going to make this work. And thatтАЩs not fair.""
Wow Pacificus, got pretty aggressive there didnтАЩt you? IтАЩm sorry did I trigger you oh wait hold on did I forget to post my content warning... I didnтАЩt realize you were so fragile.
I think it was the words тАЬevil trans cult ideologyтАЭ that clued me in to the fact that you have no idea about trans people. Good luck with those anger issues. Again, CBT is a great thing when put in practice. Just sayin ЁЯШВ
Not "fragile" at all, but when somebody presumes to tell me how to be, I come back at them twice as hard. As just happened to you.
Unlike the snowflake generation, I don't ask other people/institutions to fight my battles for me. So fragility has nothing to do with it. A pathetic attempt on your part to make a point. But personal attacks are pretty much all your side has left at this point,as the comments on this thread make increasingly clear.
True, the barbarous and cruel mutilation of children by members of an evil cult does raise my hackles a bit...but I consider that a healthy response to the outrage that is the Pediatric Gender Mutilation Complex. Anger is not always an inappropriate reaction--depends on the situation.
Perhaps someday you will understand that you are on the wrong side of this issue,and of history. Or maybe you won't.
Pacificus, IтАЩm sorry to tell you this, but from my point of view you seem pretty fragile. You immediately got defensive. Which generation is the snowflake generation again? I keep getting the boomers confused.
IтАЩm pretty sure I can ascertain certain things about you based on the comments youтАЩve made. One of which is that you most likely do not have much experience speaking with everyday trans people. Congratulations, maybe I can be your first. Yay for you! IтАЩm pretty awesome!
Saying that all trans people are part of a trans cult is kind of like saying that all trump voters are Cheetos... that shit just doesnтАЩt make sense. I would agree with you that most children do not have the emotional fortitude/maturity to make a life changing decision, like gender affirming care. However, what right do you have to go into a parents home and dictate what they think is best for their kid?
The truth is that this is a wedge issue. ItтАЩs used by politicians to do exactly what it is doing. Make people argue about things that should be settled already, like trans people are people and they deserve the same rights as Joe Blow and his wife Karen over there. When what we really should be doing is talking about better policing, or the budget deficit.
Ava Reed, I have no problem with that very few number of people who are,after years of reflection and counseling, actually trans. And yes, I have known a few trans people over the years. I am no way "anti-trans." It has nothing to do about denying that trans people are people, although I know that is the standard talking point. So don't confuse the issue.
The problem is the rapid and irresponsible transitioning of minors via a barbarous regimen of puberty blockers and mutilative surgery. Minors cannot give informed consent for a sex change. I'll say it again: minors cannot give informed consent for a sex change. Full stop, as Obama would say.
And parents cannot give informed consent on a minors behalf, not when so-called medical "professionals" are fear-mongering them with bogus "studies" designed to panic them into a permanently life altering decision.
Did you even read the article by Jamie Reed?? And you are still on board with this?
This is not a "wedge" issue. It is one of the great moral questions of our time, and if the example of the Tavistock Centre in GB is indicative, the tide may be turning on all of this. Again, you don't want to be on the side of those who pushed "gender affirming care" (i.,e., genital mutilation surgery) on minors. Because someday (and that day may be sooner than you think), we are all going to be horrified that this was allowed to happen.
But I do note that your refusal to acknowledge that there may be legitimate moral differences over this issue, and to instead attribute it to politicians exploiting it for political gain, is all too typical. Not a good look.
Yes, I read the Jamie Reed article. And yes I agree that a review of these practices is in order. It is also true that this care for some kids is life saving. You have no idea what the inner workings of the family dynamic of individual families are.
Just because something is used in a politically partisan way to divide people (aka a wedge issue) as this clearly is does not mean that the issue does not deserve attention as all of my previous posts have mentioned. I love the way you are able to selectively not see this to make you feel that you have the high ground on moral authority.
I am telling you that I agree about the need for more scrutiny, but that does not mean that this discussion does not have unintended negative consequences for those that are transgender.
"It is also true that this care for some kids is life saving. "
In health care it is necessary to actually prove that whatever treatment is provided is necessary, safe and effective. Those are three separate steps, and they are not achieved by one activist declaring what is "true." First you have to define what the illness is that is being treated. What illness do "trans people" have that is inherent in being trans? The activists argue there is none. The data shows that there are high rates of mental illness in patients who have been admitted to gender clinics. Are those "trans people"? If so, is "trans" a mental illness? If not, treatment for their condition is not needed. Do you understand this?
The second prerequisite for using treatments is that they be safe for the patient. Cutting off peoples' body parts is not safe. It is done when the body part is diseased and amputation is the only way we can contain, slow down or cure the disease. Cancers are often treated this way, when the choice is between amputation and death due to spread of the disease.
Amputations are not used as treatment for mental disorders. Mental disorders and symptoms such as suicidality are the only disorders that are ever discussed in the context of articles on "gender affirmative care," so I have to conclude that these clinics are doing amputations as "treatments" for mental illnesses.
When you allege that "this care is life-saving," you have to be able to show that the patients life is threatened. Suicide is the only threat that is ever named by gender treatment professionals. These professionals have not provided evidence that what they are doing with patients reduces suicidality. Suicidality is generally associated with depression. Depression is a psychiatric condition. We have safe and effective treatments for it.
"You have no idea what the inner workings of the family dynamic of individual families are."
It is NOT about a "family dynamic". It is about one and only one person - the purported trans person. Suggesting that genital mutilation or even affirmation of gender nonsense somehow aids a family misses the forest for the trees.
Ava, first, allow me to say that I fully sympathize with your struggle to live a life that fully comports with your sense of who you are.That is not an issue for me, or, I think, for the large majority of other people at this point in history.
But the Trans-Mania we are now experiencing is not good, either for the kids it is being imposed on, or for trans people such as yourself. If we don't soon change course on Pediatric Genital Mutilation, there will be a backlash against the very idea of trans. So let's work together to prevent that from happening, shall we?
I see even Dr Susan Bradley, early pioneer of puberty blockers for kids, has abandoned ship on this issue. Maybe check that out, if you haven't already.
To be clear: if a child is experiencing gender dysphoria, we need to support them with counseling, close monitoring, and lots of love. But let's not be so eager to (as Bill Maher puts it) reach for the dicksaw. It's just insane.
Allow me to suggest a new movement: Trans People Against Pediatric Transitions. You can be founding member and president. It would be a big help. Maybe you are ripe for another "transition," this time politically/ideologcally.
And yes, I do have the moral high ground on this. I know that may feel strange to you, but, as Bobby D once said "the times, they are a'changin' (again)." You don't need to be a trans-weatherman/woman to know which way the wind is blowing.
Outstanding point, LovingMom. Yes, parents must attempt to set limits, but we cannot ignore the massive and systematic propagation of an evil transcult ideology on our children, esp our teen girls.
Thank you, Pacificus. For instance, I am a devoted stay at home mom and our girl had a flip phone... But, other kids get this stuff on the net and propagate it. Then, teachers affirm it. And, they even bring "trans people" and drag queens into schools under DEI to talk to the kids now which is beyond what we experienced. But, at least parents are more aware at this point. It is another matter of course if an adult chooses to live that life and stays away from children with these religious ideologies about being "born into" the correct or incorrect body - you get to choose your name to be your "authentic self" - and better living through pharma and surgery.
ItтАЩs entirely possible to raise your kids and limit social media exposure. My daughter just turned 18. Starting with the oldest, none of them had smartphones til they were 16, flip phones sufficed til then. computers and phones were in public areas of our home, family room, kitchen, etc. and time on them was limited. IтАЩm liking these young adults quite alot, very proud of all six of them.
Hi- similarly, I have 15 and 16 year old daughters and do not permit them to be on social media. They are the only one of their friends not on social media. When other parents find out our kids are not on social media- they ask how we did it. My reply is- because itтАЩs our rule and they have to follow it. It is always amazing to me this question. I pay for their phones and make the rules in the house.
While my girls are not perfect- they are confident and happy.
I think parents can control their kids access to social media- if they want to.
They weren't wrong. But TV doesn't pose the dangers that social media does. The latter involves interactive obsessive/addictive behavior that never stops, because it responds to you, or at least seems to. It adaptively entices you by actively looking for what will get you hooked, in real time. It involves manipulating one's developing personality in a direct way that TV doesn't.
In terms of limits, it also matter when they use the tech. Blue lit screens at night will interrupt bodyтАЩs ability to balance hormones & neurotransmitters, making mood disorders worse.
I really like your last sentence. But otherwise agree with Susan. If parents must pick a hill to die on, this is it. Plus once the users dry up, social media will self-police.
Thank you for saying that, Steven. We did everything he did as well... Smart phones at 17 - always plugged in overnight in the kitchen - not the bedroom - lots of limits. When young computer use was on the TV screen in the middle of the house for all to see.
Not him, but I cannot wait for some of these smug teachers to be affected with their children. A couple have been and have shown up on PITT - and then I do wind up feeling sorry for them even though they "affirmed" when on the other side.
Your kids have to love and respect you. You have to model that consistently. Trust will follow from there. Too many parents want to be liked and put their own desires to be popular over their children's needs for direction.
Yes, the only people with the will to fight this are courageous parents and conservative leaders. But they are fighting a world set up by the most powerful people in the Western world, the tech and Wall Street oligarchs (please research the World Economic Forum's leader's books) who have taken advantage of the woke universities to indoctrinate our current generation of leftist/progressive leaders.
When one understands that WEF enjoys the power "fragile" people give it, one understands the enormity of the battle we are in. WEF has no concern for the devastation Jon Haidt writes about, they are not even concerned with spiking suicide rates. Why is that? They have the power to make a difference but they simply do not care. Perhaps this devastation works for them?
Parents must turn to PragerU, and faith-based alternative media, and home school where possible. And yes, they must lay down the law early on what media their young children become engaged with.
And thanks to Greg Lukianoff's courage in exposing the benefits of cognitive-behavioral therapy. This is the foundation for curing anxiety and depression. The neuro-scientists who developed it are developing yet more advanced techniques and this is promising indeed!
Yes, it's extremely hard but all efforts are worthwhile. We're planning on having a child soon, hopefully, and I'm already worried - that child's cousins who are under 5 play with ipads and phones during larger family dinners!
So it's not just pressure from schools and older peers but from their young friends, from aunts and uncles who'll say "oh they're being loud just give them the ipad". I've made it a point to never once comment about my sister in law's kids running around laugh-screeching during dinner, because as soon as someone does she feels so embarrassed she hands them a screen. And it works. But it works too well. Adults who care about the dangers of screen time need to be prepared to smile at the inevitable boisterousness of young people. There are only so many ways to keep a four year old quiet.
My son and his wife are expecting their first child in June. They have already requested that we (and our other children) avoid using ANY screen in the baby's presence. Including a iphone. The plan is to protect them as long as humanly possible.
Yes, this is so important. It is very daunting to fend off the real word on behalf of a teen, and it would likely have negative consequences. But outfitting them with critical thinking skills and having frequent experiences to counter the social media all throughout their childhood is the best way forward.
I take your point, Susan. But there is no school in teaching people how to become good parents (there never has been), especially when they themselves may not be well educated. This is not only a Gen Z issue of either liberal or conservative bent (which I have trouble understanding how any 16 yr old kid can fit under any political moniker so early), it involves society as whole. And when faced with the onslaught of the new technologies in a device that their kids can hide under a pillow or in a pocket, expect burdened parents living from pay check to pay check to lose whatever control they thought they had..
This is unbridled unchecked capitalism harming the most vulnerable segments of our population, and parents alone cannot solve it. Whatever platform they call themselves, from TikTok, Instagram ,Tumblir, 4chan and on and on - we live in a sea of hobbits comparing themselves negatively to the influencers, we have the aggrieved glued to the prior aggrieved, we have hostility and the passivity of the perceived powerless - and when ascribed to adults it's already bad enough. But when this reaches down to the yet unformed minds of puberty stricken youth already mired in competition, confusion and chaos - we have to deal with this as basically a controlled substance that must be regulated. Brain tissue is malleable, and we have gone too far.
IтАЩm the parent youтАЩre telling тАЬto parentтАЭ. We had a stay-at-home parent through my daughterтАЩs life. Phone given to her at 15 years old with all the restrictions. Graduated high school well-adjusted, academically successful...just a great kid. After 2 years at Auburn, she was an angry progressive, depressed, suicidal stranger. SheтАЩs been in hundreds of hours of counseling but refuses to accept responsibility for her wellness. At 25, sheтАЩs isolated herself to her apartment where she works from home and plays video games every night. Zero friends. Over Christmas, we were forced to have her removed from our house after she started accusing us of decades of abuse. You can do everything right as a parent and watch society unravel your child. ItтАЩs been heartbreaking and I pray for parents everywhere.
I am really sorry. I have heard similar stories from other families. Young activists have in the past told me they learned at college that they had a responsibility to "hold people accountable" (for the ever expanding list of sins that Gen Z spends its time manufacturing). They practice on their parents and siblings. Who knows what these young people are really so angry about?
I am so so sorry. Most parents are doing the best they can. It sounds like you have and are, doing the best you can to raise and help your daughter. While it may be little consolation, IтАЩm praying for your family.
Damn. Heartbreaking.
How dreadful for you
So sorry
Piranha, so so sorry to hear of your daughter's struggles...the modern university is a toxic cesspool of lunacy. Parents should be very wary of the large majority of them, from what I know. Time to de-fund, dismantle, and re-imagine higher ed--now.
I am sorry that you are going through this. Since your children are older than mine, I am curioua to know how much financial responsibility did your daughter have? Did she pay her own way or did she rely on you mostly?
We paid for college, which was our agreement as long as she made good grades and stayed out of trouble, which she did. She had part time jobs as well. But she wasnтАЩt as financially independent or savvy enough, in my opinion. After graduation, her behavior has cost her multiple jobs...she complains, gossips, manipulates HR policies. SheтАЩs decided sheтАЩs the victim and aligns her actions accordingly.
Hopefully she will one day wake up and the switch will go off that she has to make better decisions. I am sorry that you are going through this.
I am so sorry that the child you nurtured has become an enemy.
Thanks. Interestingly, our 2 sons were raised the same way, but have stayed closer to home and are well-adjusted (for a 17 & 20 year oldЁЯША). Having this experience with our daughter feels like weтАЩre living in an alternate reality. I tell parents to not assume an SEC school protects their children from progressive peer pressure.
"I tell parents to not assume an SEC school protects their children from progressive peer pressure."
The Woke Virus has infected virtually the entire university system in the US, including those in what might be assumed to be "conservative" parts of the country. Faculty at SEC schools come from the same ideologically polluted stream as everyone else.
UnfortunatelyтАжeducated young women seem to be prone to this, imo. IтАЩve seen a similar dynamic happen with my younger sister, also despite a somewhat structured, тАЮnormalтАЬ upbringing.
This is a reprint of Haidt's substack. I read it last week.
Susan, thanks for your comment, but truth be told, in this social climate, I'm not sure it is possible for parents to keep their children off social media. Short of living a life-below-zero existence in the Alaskan bush, the social pressure to take part is overwhelming. Kids would be turning their parents into CPS for depriving them of social media.
As Hillary famously noted, "it takes a village to raise a child." Turns out, it also takes one to eff them up.
Got news for you -bush Alaska has high speed internet. We have many or more of the same problems with our youth. Made for tv shows are just that. They donтАЩt show the whole other world of multigenerational substance abuse and government dependency. Our educational test scores are some of the lowest in the nation. Legal weed hasnтАЩt helped matters any either. A trip to Anchorage will reveal homelessness at astounding levels.
A virtual village, that is
True enough, but if parents, now the wiser, waited until the kids were 17 r 18 to get them a smartphone (one can buy them cheapie flip phones with no internet capability will do a lot to eliminate doom scrolling.
I agree - even though it didn't protect my girl.
All efforts are worthwhile. And, at the same time I agree that it takes a village to eff the kids up and there is a strong effort by the state/schools to do so. We need to take down the Trans Industrial Education Medical Complex and the "GenderBread" person ideology. I think the teen years are the most dangerous now for girls on this. Imagine anorexia taught by the state and "don't be a BulimiaPhobe". And, CPS has been weaponized against parents.
Then there's this published today: https://thepostmillennial.com/we-were-wrong-pioneer-of-child-sex-change-experiments-admits-kids-are-harmed-by-medical-gender-affirmation
I find it ironic that the clinic was shut down by Trans-activists for not providing "gender-affirming" care.
Right? :-0 So crazy.
Hi LM - This link infuriated me, I have to say. It took Bradley until the age of 80 to open her mouth? Look, I'm glad she did, but at this point (and in that particular newspaper), who's going to take her seriously? Maybe she'll go on tour and the same people who insisted the truckers' convoy was a bunch of racist hooligans will have similar words for her. Forgive my cynicism. Better late than never, I suppose.
I hear you. Answer: probably no one. The Tavistock closing did not even get reported in mainstream newspapers. But, I'm glad she did it at least. Maybe someday her words can get added to a plaque at a museum on the Trans Travesty that occurred in the earlyish 21st century.
Bollucks. I have 10 year old twins and we have NEVER bought them an IPad or phone. We insisted on role playing, reading to them, teaching them their ABCs and I am so happy I did because all that hard work has paid off the last decade. Our kids are more mature than their peers (teacher's words) and are resilient. They know they won't get a phone with internet through us. Gab Wireless is a great option when we need to get one and when they start working at 14 { I know the horror!} They can purchase their own plan if they choose. Go against the grain, teach them personal responsibility and accountability. Here are my tips for any parent that wants it:
1) Give them routine unpaid chores.
2) Have them start managing their money at 6; purchase a wallet and put money in there from birthdays, holidays etc. And have them use it when making their purchases
3) Expose them to life events. When my father died at 59, my kids were 4 and I did not shelter them from the experience. They saw me cry and grieve. They understand life and death.
4) Tell then repeatedly that life isn't fair and it's not supposed to be. This makes them grateful for all the good they do have.
5) Implement religion or at least religious teachings of being kind to your neighbor etc.
ItтАЩs the most difficult job there is, being a parent.
It doesnтАЩt come with a rule book and no one can tell you how to do it.
But we sure know what it looks like when we see it done right, or wrong.
I agree with you.
Absolutely.
I rolled my eyes when I read "10 year olds" but I likely thought in a similar way at that stage. We read to them and our daughter is a tremendous reader & seemed very mature at age 10. I agree about money management, etc. Your advice is sound but cannot protect kids from everything in our current culture. Good luck to you. - LM
I realize that the next decade will bring it's own set of challenges but from our friend group and the issues that most of my friends are having with their children all below the age of 10; I consider us blessed. And thank you, I know I will need it to combat this culture of victimization.
I agree with you. But, are you going to keep them completely off of laptops and flip phones through high school? We got our girl the flip phone during high school and the laptop was for school work. She got the nonsense from other kids and the school was all over it before we knew it was a thing around 2017. I will add that she is ok now but it was a family nightmare. Ten year olds are easy... Wait for the teen years - which have never been easy... Our daughter was very easy all her life until about half way through high school.
Thank you for saying this. Most importantly - let your kids make mistakes and suffer natural consequences. By "natural" I mean not punishment that parents mete out, but shivering as a result of inadequate winter clothing. Let them get hurt, emotionally and physically. Bubble-wrapping your home and driving your kids everywhere doesn't benefit anyone.
They will get onto social media one way or another - they need to have computers for school. What will keep them grounded is the character you build when they're little.
Yes, and I know this is counter intuitive to what many parents lean into. I myself have had to work on it. But in the end I keep thinking, what kind of adult do I want them to be? Self sufficient, responsible and mentally stable. So I am really trying to foster an environment to make those things possible.
And removing the Transcult.
My parents said that to us so I said that to our kids... :)
It's a great expression - but difficult when the society surrounding us (and the schools) are in opposition to the family culture.
Hahaha now that's funny!
Exactly right. And, we are living in an "Affirmation Generation" with billions to be made on "trans" and all forces working against the family and our stressed out daughters. When will people connect the dots? I do not think that the issue is most of the parents have abdicated their responsibilities. There is an active TransCult endorsed from the Federal level via Richard/Rachael Levine and the teachers unions.
Families desperately try to shelter their girls and they try moving but it's the culture and the law now.
https://pitt.substack.com/p/what-happens-when-schools-follow
https://pitt.substack.com/p/affirmation-generation-an-original
https://pitt.substack.com/p/the-standard-clinic-experience-self
Transing is a multi-billion dollar industry with tremendous expected growth made over girls:
https://www.grandviewresearch.com/industry-analysis/us-sex-reassignment-surgery-market
Really, тАЬwhateverтАЭ?? I donтАЩt see it as side stepping the issue. I do have a job and I do have kids. I have 2 awesome daughters. With these things come pretty significant pulls on my time. ItтАЩs different to read my post (or yours, which I did read by the way) than pursuing an endless rabbit hole of articles that youтАЩve assigned.
IтАЩm glad you finally got to the part where you call me a man and the backhanded intolerance. Why do you feel sorry for me? I donтАЩt. I love being a trans woman.
People clearly care about adults going to drag shows. Republican controlled state legislatures are rife with proposed anti-drag bills among other anti-trans legislation. Where are these school drag shows you are talking about? IтАЩve seen videos of kids going to drag shows with their parents and the outrage that follows this consenting parental choice. WhatтАЩs the difference between taking my kids to Hooters and a drag show? IтАЩve seen the videos of drag queen story hour. Again a consenting parental choice. God forbid someone dresses up to read to kids in a time when kids are having historic struggles with literacy.
Did you ever see Mrs. Doubtfire? What about any of the other many movies that show men or women dressed in drag? I donтАЩt see how anyone could watch those movies and not immediately think they are trans... (could you hear my sarcasm there???) ЁЯЩД
LovingMother, IтАЩm sorry, but I do not have the time to do extensive reading that you have assigned here. However, seeing as I am a trans woman, I do have some real life experience here.
All that I was saying is that you took an article about one thing (CBT, or lack there of) and made it about a different issue. I clearly disagree with you on many of the assertions that you make above about the тАЬtiny fraction of mainly middle aged menтАЭ, the majority of which just want to be able to navigate normal life without being accosted by every Karen that canтАЩt handle me using the stall next to them.
It may surprise you that transitioning was a very difficult decision for me. Mainly because I was afraid of the impact it would have on those closest to me and how the outside world would treat them and me.
It also may surprise you to learn that I actually agree with you on a great many of the things that you are speaking about with regards to gender affirming care for kids. My experience has shown me that I clearly did not have the emotional intelligence or a clear understanding of the consequences of that decision at a middle or high school level for that matter. I think that most elementary age kids do not need to discuss this until it becomes relevant to them.
I believe this is a broader problem that our society has where we take very nuanced issues and apply the most simple black and white definition of bad or good. In truth these things are complex. Gun control is a great example. I just bought my first gun. Lots of craziness out there you know. Christians are armed I figure I should be too.
Anyway, I walk into the gun store and buy a gun (Springfield Hellcat 9mm, itтАЩs pretty awesome) and I am struck not by the process of buying my innocent looking hand gun, but by the fact that there are full on military style rifles that I have no business owning. I have no idea how they work, but my process for buying that is the same as the one I just bought. I think reasonable person would say, maybe you should need to take a class for that gun? Right? Maybe? ThatтАЩs not the case though. Gun rights groups are afraid of a slippery slope. They are afraid of not that gun law but the one to follow.
A similar case could be made about abortion and a great many other problems in our country. Trans people are afraid of the next law. Tennessee bans drag. What will the next law be? Arkansas bans trans people from bathrooms (which is bullshit by the way). Will they ban our hormone therapy next? My kid tells me that they are trans and IтАЩm enlightened enough to affirm them in a social transition, can the state of Texas take my kids?
Nuance is important. You cannot take an entire group of people and put them all in a box of тАЬtranscultтАЭ. That is how people are dehumanized, which leads to treatment that is not human. This is a human rights issue. We are human whether you choose to call us women/men or not. We used to be able to agree on this basic level, but again nuance has been lost.
And by the way, I know plenty of trans men. It is not just middle aged men that transition.
Whatever. You're a guy and if you had children to worry about you would be their father. I see you side step the issues in the articles I listed by saying you do not "have time" to read them yet I got through your entire post which talked about guns and Christians? This is not making the discussion about a different issue?
You would have been born with a name like Mike or Brandon. If you prefer "Ava" that's great. Of course, you are human and I wish you a good life. But, no amount of feelings or cosmetic alterations make you a woman, and that is why I prefer the older "transexual" to the new nonsense word "transwoman". I am sorry you suffer from a psychological disorder.
The black and white thinking aspect of reverse CBT discussed in the Haidt article really struck me because autistic people have black and white thinking. Many black and white thinkers who do not suffer from the sad mental disorder that is known as gender dysphoria (again - sorry for you) slide into Gender Ideology (a cult religion about being born into bodies) through black and white thinking. In your case maybe "transition" was the best path for you and a difficult decision that you made as an adult. But, we do not need to preach Queer Theory in the schools or bring drag performances into the schools. No one cares about adults going to Drag shows.
Okay LovingMother, I went back and read your articles, which in my opinion are kid of BS based on where you are sourcing them from, but I did go back and read them. If you would allow me, I appreciate it if you read this:
https://open.substack.com/pub/erininthemorn/p/debunked-no-80-of-trans-youth-do?r=1wxapi&utm_medium=ios&utm_campaign=post
Weird this sounds like one of those CBT issues that the author is talking about. тАЬTransCultтАЭ seems like a generalization and something you canтАЩt control. Maybe you should look internally about the things you can control and just have a hard conversation about whatтАЩs out in the world with your kids rather than vilifying an entire group of people that you know nothing about. Just saying.
Transing is a multi-billion dollar industry with tremendous expected growth made over girls: https://www.grandviewresearch.com/industry-analysis/us-sex-reassignment-surgery-market
So, no surprise - given the profits - that it is so "supported".
Please read the words of transsexual author Corinna Cohn: https://corinnacohn.substack.com/p/the-medical-leash-of-hormone-replacement
There are a great many industries that are profitable. One of them is cancer drugs. Does that mean that we should stop making them?
Many parents are upset about the promotion of Trans Ideology in the schools and society as a whole - ie that one is born into a correct or incorrect body - the teaching of the GenderBread person, how a child or teen body can be "fixed" with cross sex hormones and surgeries - when they cannot possibly understand the long term consequences. When kids take up Gender Ideology they become depressed and there personalities are changed for a time - they take on new names and do not trust outsider/non-believers, etc. It is indeed very cult like. And, why should there be Drag or other sexualized performances in the schools? If a woman behaved that way in front of children people who not have it.
It is understandable that people who have not experienced this onslaught in the family are thinking only about the tiny fraction of mainly middle aged men who suffer from a sad mental disorder which we call a dysphoria. But, the "cult" has jumped to calling it "gender euphoria". It is indeed very cult like. So, there isn't a better term for it than "Transcult" - especially with medical groups, schools, pharma, tech, media, government, you-name--it - all in with the ideology surrounding all things "gender". Contrary to what Biden says, this is not a "Civil Rights" movement for a small number of people who do not want to hear that they have a mental disorder. This is way past "understanding and kindness". Society and medicine are creating a pscyh problems. I think the term for this is iatrogenic.
As I reflect on this wonderful Haidt article I see we are doing a reverse CBT number on the teens with Gender Ideology which encourages black and white thinking, ie, if I like to build things I am a boy and if I am sensitive I am a girl. Also, if you are uncomfortable with puberty you are trans. There is a wonderful chart somewhere about how all questions a teen might ask lead to "you are trans" which somehow means "trapped in the wrong body" not "diiagnosed with a mental disorder known as a dyaphoria.". Many have observed that an outsized number of Transing Teens suffer from autism. Autistic people tend toward black and white thinking just as our culture of victimhood does...
Ava, it is by no means clear what one can control or not control,but that does not mean one does not try. And if I can have even a tiny bit of control over ending Pediatric Childhood Gnder Mutilation, I'm going to strive for it.
You have no idea what I know or do not know about "an entire group of people." So maybe you should just STFU. Just sayin.'
Good for you.
You probably saw this news - better late than never?
"'We were wrong': Pioneer of child sex change experiments ADMITS kids are harmed by medical 'gender-affirmation'
"The long and short of it is that the decision was made at a time when these kids were just too young to really know how they were going to make this work. And thatтАЩs not fair.""
https://thepostmillennial.com/we-were-wrong-pioneer-of-child-sex-change-experiments-admits-kids-are-harmed-by-medical-gender-affirmation
Wow Pacificus, got pretty aggressive there didnтАЩt you? IтАЩm sorry did I trigger you oh wait hold on did I forget to post my content warning... I didnтАЩt realize you were so fragile.
I think it was the words тАЬevil trans cult ideologyтАЭ that clued me in to the fact that you have no idea about trans people. Good luck with those anger issues. Again, CBT is a great thing when put in practice. Just sayin ЁЯШВ
Not "fragile" at all, but when somebody presumes to tell me how to be, I come back at them twice as hard. As just happened to you.
Unlike the snowflake generation, I don't ask other people/institutions to fight my battles for me. So fragility has nothing to do with it. A pathetic attempt on your part to make a point. But personal attacks are pretty much all your side has left at this point,as the comments on this thread make increasingly clear.
True, the barbarous and cruel mutilation of children by members of an evil cult does raise my hackles a bit...but I consider that a healthy response to the outrage that is the Pediatric Gender Mutilation Complex. Anger is not always an inappropriate reaction--depends on the situation.
Perhaps someday you will understand that you are on the wrong side of this issue,and of history. Or maybe you won't.
Pacificus, IтАЩm sorry to tell you this, but from my point of view you seem pretty fragile. You immediately got defensive. Which generation is the snowflake generation again? I keep getting the boomers confused.
IтАЩm pretty sure I can ascertain certain things about you based on the comments youтАЩve made. One of which is that you most likely do not have much experience speaking with everyday trans people. Congratulations, maybe I can be your first. Yay for you! IтАЩm pretty awesome!
Saying that all trans people are part of a trans cult is kind of like saying that all trump voters are Cheetos... that shit just doesnтАЩt make sense. I would agree with you that most children do not have the emotional fortitude/maturity to make a life changing decision, like gender affirming care. However, what right do you have to go into a parents home and dictate what they think is best for their kid?
The truth is that this is a wedge issue. ItтАЩs used by politicians to do exactly what it is doing. Make people argue about things that should be settled already, like trans people are people and they deserve the same rights as Joe Blow and his wife Karen over there. When what we really should be doing is talking about better policing, or the budget deficit.
Ava Reed, I have no problem with that very few number of people who are,after years of reflection and counseling, actually trans. And yes, I have known a few trans people over the years. I am no way "anti-trans." It has nothing to do about denying that trans people are people, although I know that is the standard talking point. So don't confuse the issue.
The problem is the rapid and irresponsible transitioning of minors via a barbarous regimen of puberty blockers and mutilative surgery. Minors cannot give informed consent for a sex change. I'll say it again: minors cannot give informed consent for a sex change. Full stop, as Obama would say.
And parents cannot give informed consent on a minors behalf, not when so-called medical "professionals" are fear-mongering them with bogus "studies" designed to panic them into a permanently life altering decision.
Did you even read the article by Jamie Reed?? And you are still on board with this?
This is not a "wedge" issue. It is one of the great moral questions of our time, and if the example of the Tavistock Centre in GB is indicative, the tide may be turning on all of this. Again, you don't want to be on the side of those who pushed "gender affirming care" (i.,e., genital mutilation surgery) on minors. Because someday (and that day may be sooner than you think), we are all going to be horrified that this was allowed to happen.
But I do note that your refusal to acknowledge that there may be legitimate moral differences over this issue, and to instead attribute it to politicians exploiting it for political gain, is all too typical. Not a good look.
Yes, I read the Jamie Reed article. And yes I agree that a review of these practices is in order. It is also true that this care for some kids is life saving. You have no idea what the inner workings of the family dynamic of individual families are.
Just because something is used in a politically partisan way to divide people (aka a wedge issue) as this clearly is does not mean that the issue does not deserve attention as all of my previous posts have mentioned. I love the way you are able to selectively not see this to make you feel that you have the high ground on moral authority.
I am telling you that I agree about the need for more scrutiny, but that does not mean that this discussion does not have unintended negative consequences for those that are transgender.
"It is also true that this care for some kids is life saving. "
In health care it is necessary to actually prove that whatever treatment is provided is necessary, safe and effective. Those are three separate steps, and they are not achieved by one activist declaring what is "true." First you have to define what the illness is that is being treated. What illness do "trans people" have that is inherent in being trans? The activists argue there is none. The data shows that there are high rates of mental illness in patients who have been admitted to gender clinics. Are those "trans people"? If so, is "trans" a mental illness? If not, treatment for their condition is not needed. Do you understand this?
The second prerequisite for using treatments is that they be safe for the patient. Cutting off peoples' body parts is not safe. It is done when the body part is diseased and amputation is the only way we can contain, slow down or cure the disease. Cancers are often treated this way, when the choice is between amputation and death due to spread of the disease.
Amputations are not used as treatment for mental disorders. Mental disorders and symptoms such as suicidality are the only disorders that are ever discussed in the context of articles on "gender affirmative care," so I have to conclude that these clinics are doing amputations as "treatments" for mental illnesses.
When you allege that "this care is life-saving," you have to be able to show that the patients life is threatened. Suicide is the only threat that is ever named by gender treatment professionals. These professionals have not provided evidence that what they are doing with patients reduces suicidality. Suicidality is generally associated with depression. Depression is a psychiatric condition. We have safe and effective treatments for it.
"You have no idea what the inner workings of the family dynamic of individual families are."
It is NOT about a "family dynamic". It is about one and only one person - the purported trans person. Suggesting that genital mutilation or even affirmation of gender nonsense somehow aids a family misses the forest for the trees.
Ava, first, allow me to say that I fully sympathize with your struggle to live a life that fully comports with your sense of who you are.That is not an issue for me, or, I think, for the large majority of other people at this point in history.
But the Trans-Mania we are now experiencing is not good, either for the kids it is being imposed on, or for trans people such as yourself. If we don't soon change course on Pediatric Genital Mutilation, there will be a backlash against the very idea of trans. So let's work together to prevent that from happening, shall we?
I see even Dr Susan Bradley, early pioneer of puberty blockers for kids, has abandoned ship on this issue. Maybe check that out, if you haven't already.
To be clear: if a child is experiencing gender dysphoria, we need to support them with counseling, close monitoring, and lots of love. But let's not be so eager to (as Bill Maher puts it) reach for the dicksaw. It's just insane.
Allow me to suggest a new movement: Trans People Against Pediatric Transitions. You can be founding member and president. It would be a big help. Maybe you are ripe for another "transition," this time politically/ideologcally.
And yes, I do have the moral high ground on this. I know that may feel strange to you, but, as Bobby D once said "the times, they are a'changin' (again)." You don't need to be a trans-weatherman/woman to know which way the wind is blowing.
Outstanding point, LovingMom. Yes, parents must attempt to set limits, but we cannot ignore the massive and systematic propagation of an evil transcult ideology on our children, esp our teen girls.
Thank you, Pacificus. For instance, I am a devoted stay at home mom and our girl had a flip phone... But, other kids get this stuff on the net and propagate it. Then, teachers affirm it. And, they even bring "trans people" and drag queens into schools under DEI to talk to the kids now which is beyond what we experienced. But, at least parents are more aware at this point. It is another matter of course if an adult chooses to live that life and stays away from children with these religious ideologies about being "born into" the correct or incorrect body - you get to choose your name to be your "authentic self" - and better living through pharma and surgery.
ItтАЩs entirely possible to raise your kids and limit social media exposure. My daughter just turned 18. Starting with the oldest, none of them had smartphones til they were 16, flip phones sufficed til then. computers and phones were in public areas of our home, family room, kitchen, etc. and time on them was limited. IтАЩm liking these young adults quite alot, very proud of all six of them.
Bravo to both of you for keeping your kids off social media.
Age 16 was the original "age of consent" for the Internet as proposed in 1996. It's been a long fall from then.
What is your political affiliation?
Hi- similarly, I have 15 and 16 year old daughters and do not permit them to be on social media. They are the only one of their friends not on social media. When other parents find out our kids are not on social media- they ask how we did it. My reply is- because itтАЩs our rule and they have to follow it. It is always amazing to me this question. I pay for their phones and make the rules in the house.
While my girls are not perfect- they are confident and happy.
I think parents can control their kids access to social media- if they want to.
People said the same to me about TV.
They weren't wrong. But TV doesn't pose the dangers that social media does. The latter involves interactive obsessive/addictive behavior that never stops, because it responds to you, or at least seems to. It adaptively entices you by actively looking for what will get you hooked, in real time. It involves manipulating one's developing personality in a direct way that TV doesn't.
In terms of limits, it also matter when they use the tech. Blue lit screens at night will interrupt bodyтАЩs ability to balance hormones & neurotransmitters, making mood disorders worse.
I really like your last sentence. But otherwise agree with Susan. If parents must pick a hill to die on, this is it. Plus once the users dry up, social media will self-police.
I don't think the users will dry up though.
Totally agree-
Thank you for saying that, Steven. We did everything he did as well... Smart phones at 17 - always plugged in overnight in the kitchen - not the bedroom - lots of limits. When young computer use was on the TV screen in the middle of the house for all to see.
Not him, but I cannot wait for some of these smug teachers to be affected with their children. A couple have been and have shown up on PITT - and then I do wind up feeling sorry for them even though they "affirmed" when on the other side.
Probably right. But, it has to be taken down.
Your kids have to love and respect you. You have to model that consistently. Trust will follow from there. Too many parents want to be liked and put their own desires to be popular over their children's needs for direction.
Yes, the only people with the will to fight this are courageous parents and conservative leaders. But they are fighting a world set up by the most powerful people in the Western world, the tech and Wall Street oligarchs (please research the World Economic Forum's leader's books) who have taken advantage of the woke universities to indoctrinate our current generation of leftist/progressive leaders.
When one understands that WEF enjoys the power "fragile" people give it, one understands the enormity of the battle we are in. WEF has no concern for the devastation Jon Haidt writes about, they are not even concerned with spiking suicide rates. Why is that? They have the power to make a difference but they simply do not care. Perhaps this devastation works for them?
Parents must turn to PragerU, and faith-based alternative media, and home school where possible. And yes, they must lay down the law early on what media their young children become engaged with.
And thanks to Greg Lukianoff's courage in exposing the benefits of cognitive-behavioral therapy. This is the foundation for curing anxiety and depression. The neuro-scientists who developed it are developing yet more advanced techniques and this is promising indeed!
Yes, it's extremely hard but all efforts are worthwhile. We're planning on having a child soon, hopefully, and I'm already worried - that child's cousins who are under 5 play with ipads and phones during larger family dinners!
So it's not just pressure from schools and older peers but from their young friends, from aunts and uncles who'll say "oh they're being loud just give them the ipad". I've made it a point to never once comment about my sister in law's kids running around laugh-screeching during dinner, because as soon as someone does she feels so embarrassed she hands them a screen. And it works. But it works too well. Adults who care about the dangers of screen time need to be prepared to smile at the inevitable boisterousness of young people. There are only so many ways to keep a four year old quiet.
My son and his wife are expecting their first child in June. They have already requested that we (and our other children) avoid using ANY screen in the baby's presence. Including a iphone. The plan is to protect them as long as humanly possible.
so no photos?
Yes, this is so important. It is very daunting to fend off the real word on behalf of a teen, and it would likely have negative consequences. But outfitting them with critical thinking skills and having frequent experiences to counter the social media all throughout their childhood is the best way forward.
Beautifully said, Susan