I am disappointed that as horrific as the Uvalde killings were, we as a society still do not have the courage to talk about what I believe is the cause of all of this violence, that is, the family and its breakdown. Why are we not brave enough to discuss the Uvalde shooter’s missing parents? Children cannot raise themselves and yet we ex…
I am disappointed that as horrific as the Uvalde killings were, we as a society still do not have the courage to talk about what I believe is the cause of all of this violence, that is, the family and its breakdown. Why are we not brave enough to discuss the Uvalde shooter’s missing parents? Children cannot raise themselves and yet we expect that to happen. Why? What happens to parentless children? How can we intervene to help them? What can be done to teach parents to parents? We will live with the consequences of parents who do not parent until we make the choice to have this very hard conversation.
From a historical perspective, guns have been around for a very long time and teenagers have had access as well. In fact, it was probably easier for a teen to get a gun decades ago than now and nobody thought twice about teens carrying around loaded weapons. And yet we didn’t have mass shootings of the nature that we do now. Errant, accidental shootings from kids being dumb, sure but not intentional mass homicide. Something changed and it sure wasn’t teenagers’ ability to access guns. We must look to societal breakdown and mental health issues today.
It worked before. It doesn't work now. What changed?
If your computer stopped working correctly when you installed a new piece of software, you wouldn't start your troubleshooting by checking the power cord.
If your relationship with your wife went downhill when you started working more, you wouldn't think, "gee, it must be hormonal". (Unless you're a complete clod.)
When teenagers use guns for decades, then suddenly start shooting up schools for no apparent reason, believing it's a problem of gun access is stupid. The guns didn't change; the teenagers did.
To be clear, fixing teenagers is far more difficult than banning guns, but not fixing the family structures that give us teenage shooters is going to destroy our society in countless other ways too. In that sense, the random mass shooters are just the canaries in the coal mine of America.
Excellent Podcast and my total agreement CG, though a few things left unsaid. This is perhaps the biggest. The breakdown of Family is seen in two branches of the shootings epidemic: 1) Lone, disturbed killer (most often young white males with minimal or non-existent Adult male -as in mature responsible father, and 2) gang shootings in urban areas where youth get their stripes on the street because try as she might the mother can’t hold THAT much together when her “man” is always absent. These are much more Black mothers with minimal income and many kids. I’ve regarded these Black moms as hero’s as they instill what values their kids do get, kind of against all odds.
So to the excellent podcast, I’d have begged to add another message: “Men (black and white), where the hell are you? Get your ass to your family and get your sons their moral compass even if you have to bring them to a local mission or support while you work your ass off at a bad, low paying job. You’ll rise up and be a beacon to the boy and he’ll escape. Go to your church and they’ll show you”. I know it’s tough as hell, but you fathered them.
My comments come from thoughts that looking to the government to make a social illness go away, and counting on crooked politicians who’ll sabotage a Bill that even they agree with just to get a political advantage is not only barking up the wrong tree, but foolish.
The guns are inanimate objects. Blaming them is childish but regulating their use can be appropriate if it’s done prudently. The biggest hole I see is the lack of accountability for them. If I own a gun and it’s used in a crime both the user and I should pay a price that tells everyone “don’t let this happen to you”.
For many years, parents would often teach their children about guns and both how to shoot one and respect for one. Now they take the children to see Drag Queen shows and wonder "why are my kids so fucked up?"
My husband teaches Hunters Education & Safety for Department of Fish and Wildlife in his spare time and he firmly believes that participation in hunting as a child, even just tagging along with an adult, lays a strong foundation for understanding what guns are capable of. Many kids see guns used in cartoons or on TV and do not comprehend their seriousness. Witnessing the impact on an animal (in an ethical manner of course) offers a healthy dose of respect for guns.
The Uvalde shooter had parents, albeit maybe imperfect ones. He had been living with his mother until recently when he had a falling out with her. He then moved in with his grandparents and had a falling out with his grandmother . He then shot her in the face and went to the elementary school where she worked and you know the rest. My mother used to say when you are having problems with the whole world, it's probably not the world. As for the shooter's mental illness or red flags, there was no evidence which would have disqualified him under either theory. There was some abuse of animals on his social media and he made comments within the last two months on social media but all of that came to light after the fact. Some people are just bad. Very, very bad.
Nope, he was living with his grandmother because his mother was a drug addict. So basically she was not in his life, and who knows where the father is. Reports say he was off making money for the family in anther state, but he never sent that money and this kid hasn't seen him since he was a baby. So basically a deadbeat Dad.
He also had a looooooong track record of violence and mental health issues, including checking into a mental health facility inpatient, and those were not on his record.
Why do you say his mother was an addict? Yes he was living with his grandmother but only recently from what I have read. Also my understanding is that the father was in his life. Both parents gave statements to the press almost immediately. And how do you know he had a lo-o-ong history of violence and mental health issues, much less that he had checked into an inpatient mental health facility that does not appear of record? All of this is completely contrary to what I read.
"Reportedly, Reyes struggled with drug use and kicked her son out of her home, which forced Salvador Ramos to move in with his grandparents."
"Ramos' classmates said he would engage in fights and threaten fellow students. They also stated that Ramos displayed disturbing behavior over the past two years, where he threatened a classmate and stalked others. Meanwhile, his friends told reporters that Salvador Ramos was distraught and often lashed out."
And I know a lot of people who struggle with drug use, much of it prescription, that do not have kids that have shot up a couple of classrooms of elementary school kids. From what I have read, from reliable sources, he was an asshole who treated people badly. That does not make him mentally ill nor does it justify blaming his mother, or the police, or for that matter the guns. Let's blame the person at fault - the shooter. But if that doesn't work for you let's blame the first person shooter games I would wager he played. He went for head shots.
I'm not blaming his actions solely on his mom, but I do blame her for drug use and I do blame the cops for standing outside and arresting parents while the killer massacred kids. I don't think drug users are horrible people but they are destructive and bad parents. Has accountability gone right out the window? "Well she drinks a lot and kicks her troubled son out of the house to do drugs, but that doesn't make her a bad parent!" YES, it does.
You are willing to call a woman you do not know a bad parent based on gossip. Let me assure you that if she had been reported to CPS we would know it by now. Texas has a robust Children's Protective Services division. Many counties in Texas have court records that are readily accessible if you are interested enough to look it up. As for drug users being bad parents there but for the grace of God go all of us. And doctors are responsible for much of it. As for the cops standing around outside that is ludicrous. Read that Texas Tribune article - the door was reinforced and they could not make entry. It required a key and the officer went through two key rings and 50+ keys before he found the right one. The lock on the door that was the only entry to the room and where two officers had already been shot. The teacher who survived when every one of his students had been killed said the active shooter training they had received made them sitting ducks. That is a first person account. You people assigning blame everywhere except where it belongs astound me.
I lived in Texas. Had a neighbor who left her two year old to nearly die and we reported her SIX freakin times and CPS never came. Not until the kid ended up in the emergency room with permanent damage. The door was locked?! Really!?! Police leave an active shooter in a school OVER AN HOUR because they couldn't find a locksmith!? You are the most gullible person I have met online in awhile. Get your drug problem under control honey. Based on your dismissal of child abuse I'd imagine you have some guilt issues.
You are truly vile. You jump to conclusions based on gossip and innuendo. Given your unfounded allegations of others and now me, I'm going to engage in one of my own. Repeated calls to CPS that were not answered suggest to me that you were a busy body neighbor with an inflated sense of self-importance that CPS regularly weeds out. In other words you had no credibility. And you are so pompous and desperate to prove you are right that you suggest a locksmith to stand at a door with an active shooter on the other side. It was a steel reinforced door and two police officers had already been wounded through the same door. At any rate there is nothing that will move this conversation forward so I will not engage further. Enjoy your tabloids.
You have got to be kidding me. A sports news website, based in India, that derives its revenue from advertisements? That is your source? Do you believe everything on the internet?
Those I have read. None of that amounts to his mother being a drug addict. Use of drugs is not tantamount to addiction. And the implication from the blow-ups with his mother is that it was his behavior that was the issue, not hers. For instance, the last time the police were at the house he shared with his mother was the day he left. Newsweek reports that the disagreement was because the shooter turned of the wi-fi. Whrn he left he had a place to go. He went to his grandparent's place where he reportedly had a good relationship with his grandfather. But he shot his grandmother in the face when he got mad at her and went to the elementary school where she worked and shot up two classrooms. The grandfather, the mother, the father, and even the mother's boyfriend all said they were shocked at his behavior. He might have been troubled but basically he was evil. I hope he is roasting in hell.
I am disappointed that as horrific as the Uvalde killings were, we as a society still do not have the courage to talk about what I believe is the cause of all of this violence, that is, the family and its breakdown. Why are we not brave enough to discuss the Uvalde shooter’s missing parents? Children cannot raise themselves and yet we expect that to happen. Why? What happens to parentless children? How can we intervene to help them? What can be done to teach parents to parents? We will live with the consequences of parents who do not parent until we make the choice to have this very hard conversation.
From a historical perspective, guns have been around for a very long time and teenagers have had access as well. In fact, it was probably easier for a teen to get a gun decades ago than now and nobody thought twice about teens carrying around loaded weapons. And yet we didn’t have mass shootings of the nature that we do now. Errant, accidental shootings from kids being dumb, sure but not intentional mass homicide. Something changed and it sure wasn’t teenagers’ ability to access guns. We must look to societal breakdown and mental health issues today.
Basic troubleshooting of any system:
It worked before. It doesn't work now. What changed?
If your computer stopped working correctly when you installed a new piece of software, you wouldn't start your troubleshooting by checking the power cord.
If your relationship with your wife went downhill when you started working more, you wouldn't think, "gee, it must be hormonal". (Unless you're a complete clod.)
When teenagers use guns for decades, then suddenly start shooting up schools for no apparent reason, believing it's a problem of gun access is stupid. The guns didn't change; the teenagers did.
To be clear, fixing teenagers is far more difficult than banning guns, but not fixing the family structures that give us teenage shooters is going to destroy our society in countless other ways too. In that sense, the random mass shooters are just the canaries in the coal mine of America.
Hear hear!
Excellent Podcast and my total agreement CG, though a few things left unsaid. This is perhaps the biggest. The breakdown of Family is seen in two branches of the shootings epidemic: 1) Lone, disturbed killer (most often young white males with minimal or non-existent Adult male -as in mature responsible father, and 2) gang shootings in urban areas where youth get their stripes on the street because try as she might the mother can’t hold THAT much together when her “man” is always absent. These are much more Black mothers with minimal income and many kids. I’ve regarded these Black moms as hero’s as they instill what values their kids do get, kind of against all odds.
So to the excellent podcast, I’d have begged to add another message: “Men (black and white), where the hell are you? Get your ass to your family and get your sons their moral compass even if you have to bring them to a local mission or support while you work your ass off at a bad, low paying job. You’ll rise up and be a beacon to the boy and he’ll escape. Go to your church and they’ll show you”. I know it’s tough as hell, but you fathered them.
My comments come from thoughts that looking to the government to make a social illness go away, and counting on crooked politicians who’ll sabotage a Bill that even they agree with just to get a political advantage is not only barking up the wrong tree, but foolish.
The guns are inanimate objects. Blaming them is childish but regulating their use can be appropriate if it’s done prudently. The biggest hole I see is the lack of accountability for them. If I own a gun and it’s used in a crime both the user and I should pay a price that tells everyone “don’t let this happen to you”.
Excellent post
For many years, parents would often teach their children about guns and both how to shoot one and respect for one. Now they take the children to see Drag Queen shows and wonder "why are my kids so fucked up?"
My husband teaches Hunters Education & Safety for Department of Fish and Wildlife in his spare time and he firmly believes that participation in hunting as a child, even just tagging along with an adult, lays a strong foundation for understanding what guns are capable of. Many kids see guns used in cartoons or on TV and do not comprehend their seriousness. Witnessing the impact on an animal (in an ethical manner of course) offers a healthy dose of respect for guns.
Or worse, they use them in video games.
My post, which started this, is exactly that. We broke the AA family to get Dems elected in the 60s and we're now reaping what we sowed.
The Uvalde shooter had parents, albeit maybe imperfect ones. He had been living with his mother until recently when he had a falling out with her. He then moved in with his grandparents and had a falling out with his grandmother . He then shot her in the face and went to the elementary school where she worked and you know the rest. My mother used to say when you are having problems with the whole world, it's probably not the world. As for the shooter's mental illness or red flags, there was no evidence which would have disqualified him under either theory. There was some abuse of animals on his social media and he made comments within the last two months on social media but all of that came to light after the fact. Some people are just bad. Very, very bad.
Nope, he was living with his grandmother because his mother was a drug addict. So basically she was not in his life, and who knows where the father is. Reports say he was off making money for the family in anther state, but he never sent that money and this kid hasn't seen him since he was a baby. So basically a deadbeat Dad.
He also had a looooooong track record of violence and mental health issues, including checking into a mental health facility inpatient, and those were not on his record.
Why do you say his mother was an addict? Yes he was living with his grandmother but only recently from what I have read. Also my understanding is that the father was in his life. Both parents gave statements to the press almost immediately. And how do you know he had a lo-o-ong history of violence and mental health issues, much less that he had checked into an inpatient mental health facility that does not appear of record? All of this is completely contrary to what I read.
https://www.sportskeeda.com/pop-culture/who-adriana-reyes-texas-elementary-school-shooter-salvador-ramos-mother-opens-deceased-son
"Reportedly, Reyes struggled with drug use and kicked her son out of her home, which forced Salvador Ramos to move in with his grandparents."
"Ramos' classmates said he would engage in fights and threaten fellow students. They also stated that Ramos displayed disturbing behavior over the past two years, where he threatened a classmate and stalked others. Meanwhile, his friends told reporters that Salvador Ramos was distraught and often lashed out."
And I know a lot of people who struggle with drug use, much of it prescription, that do not have kids that have shot up a couple of classrooms of elementary school kids. From what I have read, from reliable sources, he was an asshole who treated people badly. That does not make him mentally ill nor does it justify blaming his mother, or the police, or for that matter the guns. Let's blame the person at fault - the shooter. But if that doesn't work for you let's blame the first person shooter games I would wager he played. He went for head shots.
I'm not blaming his actions solely on his mom, but I do blame her for drug use and I do blame the cops for standing outside and arresting parents while the killer massacred kids. I don't think drug users are horrible people but they are destructive and bad parents. Has accountability gone right out the window? "Well she drinks a lot and kicks her troubled son out of the house to do drugs, but that doesn't make her a bad parent!" YES, it does.
You are willing to call a woman you do not know a bad parent based on gossip. Let me assure you that if she had been reported to CPS we would know it by now. Texas has a robust Children's Protective Services division. Many counties in Texas have court records that are readily accessible if you are interested enough to look it up. As for drug users being bad parents there but for the grace of God go all of us. And doctors are responsible for much of it. As for the cops standing around outside that is ludicrous. Read that Texas Tribune article - the door was reinforced and they could not make entry. It required a key and the officer went through two key rings and 50+ keys before he found the right one. The lock on the door that was the only entry to the room and where two officers had already been shot. The teacher who survived when every one of his students had been killed said the active shooter training they had received made them sitting ducks. That is a first person account. You people assigning blame everywhere except where it belongs astound me.
I lived in Texas. Had a neighbor who left her two year old to nearly die and we reported her SIX freakin times and CPS never came. Not until the kid ended up in the emergency room with permanent damage. The door was locked?! Really!?! Police leave an active shooter in a school OVER AN HOUR because they couldn't find a locksmith!? You are the most gullible person I have met online in awhile. Get your drug problem under control honey. Based on your dismissal of child abuse I'd imagine you have some guilt issues.
You are truly vile. You jump to conclusions based on gossip and innuendo. Given your unfounded allegations of others and now me, I'm going to engage in one of my own. Repeated calls to CPS that were not answered suggest to me that you were a busy body neighbor with an inflated sense of self-importance that CPS regularly weeds out. In other words you had no credibility. And you are so pompous and desperate to prove you are right that you suggest a locksmith to stand at a door with an active shooter on the other side. It was a steel reinforced door and two police officers had already been wounded through the same door. At any rate there is nothing that will move this conversation forward so I will not engage further. Enjoy your tabloids.
I'm not the one defending drug addicts and cops who let kids die.
You have got to be kidding me. A sports news website, based in India, that derives its revenue from advertisements? That is your source? Do you believe everything on the internet?
https://www.texastribune.org/2022/05/28/uvalde-shooting-gunmen-teen-girls/
https://nypost.com/2022/05/25/details-emerge-on-texas-school-shooter-salvador-ramos-behavior/
https://www.newsweek.com/salvador-ramos-had-multiple-blowups-his-mom-texas-neighbor-1710009
Facts that are inconvient to you are still facts.
Those I have read. None of that amounts to his mother being a drug addict. Use of drugs is not tantamount to addiction. And the implication from the blow-ups with his mother is that it was his behavior that was the issue, not hers. For instance, the last time the police were at the house he shared with his mother was the day he left. Newsweek reports that the disagreement was because the shooter turned of the wi-fi. Whrn he left he had a place to go. He went to his grandparent's place where he reportedly had a good relationship with his grandfather. But he shot his grandmother in the face when he got mad at her and went to the elementary school where she worked and shot up two classrooms. The grandfather, the mother, the father, and even the mother's boyfriend all said they were shocked at his behavior. He might have been troubled but basically he was evil. I hope he is roasting in hell.
Yes he was insane. But his mother, according to reports I have read, was a drug addict, obviously not a good parent.
Why do you say he was insane?
because of his behavior.
I think he was just plain old evil.