When I compare the "free-range" childhood of my generation with today's helicopter parenting, I see adults who are unable to control their fears about their children, and who therefore impose their neuroses not only on their own children, but on everyone else's children.
We lost our oldest daughter in infancy to severe heart and liver d…
When I compare the "free-range" childhood of my generation with today's helicopter parenting, I see adults who are unable to control their fears about their children, and who therefore impose their neuroses not only on their own children, but on everyone else's children.
We lost our oldest daughter in infancy to severe heart and liver defects. So I am painfully aware of what it feels like to lose a child. But I knew it would be psychologically unhealthy for my other children if I protected them from *everything* for fear of losing them. I had to use self-control--a quality that seems to have gone by the wayside--to reject the temptation to shelter my kids too carefully.
The reality is that no matter how careful we are, we cannot prevent all dangers. A look at freak accidents will show that. There is a very real risk, though, of making ourselves and our children mentally sick by refusing to live in the effort to protect our lives.
Celia - Your comments are always thought provoking and worth reading.... In this case you have really given me something to think about that is very close to my heart. I have a great deal of anxiety around anticipating/ avoiding loss. Dealing with this is really about self control and acceptance as you point out... I am truly sorry for your loss and I admire your approach....
As an example, I had a friend who was watching her only child, a son, play little league. He was at bat and hit in the chest by a pitched ball. The blow stopped his heart and he died. This was before CPR.
Was little league banned because of this? No....
When you step out of your front door, you enter a dangerous environment. The most dangerous thing you do every day, is get in your car and driving away. Since the invention of the automobile tens of millions of people have been killed. It doesn't stop us from driving.
Life in a zoo is very safe. The animals are well fed and cared for. Unless they get out of the cage. Then they don't have a clue where to go or what to do. They will either be captured or euthanized.
Life in the wild is risky. You may be killed. You may have a hard time finding food. But you are more alive than any zoo animal can ever hope to be. Unless you get put in a cage and sent to the zoo.
It's very sad, but the reality is that you can't prevent all possible harm, no matter what you do. But you can drive yourself (and others) crazy by playing the "I've defended against THAT danger; what danger might happen NOW?" game. And children who take no risks at all never manage to gain true self-confidence.
Now that a generation of helicoptered (or worse, snowplowed) kids have reached putative adulthood, we can see the disastrous effects. These young adults have never been allowed to solve their own problems, which leaves them incapable of opening a bank account, renting an apartment, dealing with a speeding ticket, or even going to a job interview without mom there to hold their hand.
Worse yet, kids who are never allowed to test themselves physically fail to develop basic necessary physical traits like a proper sense of balance. They are also more likely to be injured because they don't know what their body is and isn't capable of.
Too many parents forget that they are raising future adults. That is something that my husband and I worked hard to remember at each step of parenting. We now have three adult children who are capable of solving their own problems (although they, like us at the same age) have discovered that parents still have a lot of wisdom to impart).
I’m sorry for the loss of your eldest daughter, Celia.
At the height of the pandemic, the “esteemed” New York Times ran a piece claiming that Covid was a leading cause of death for children. Instinctively I knew that could not be accurate so I started to research and learned that drowning was actually far deadlier for children (around 4,000 fatalities annually) than Covid ever was or will be. Yet we take risks with baths, showers, pools and other bodies of water every day. The hysteria around Covid and children (IFR < 0.0003%) was absolutely maddening! (And working in a school I was exposed to this madness daily.)
"adults who are unable to control their fears about their children, and who therefore impose their neuroses not only on their own children, but on everyone else's children."
Can you imagine Greta’s household! It must be bizarre to be living in it or to have grown up in it, and then to top it all the UN to buy into all this bullshit crazy stuff.
I don't buy that. Her ego has gotten the better of her just like most people who get broadcast exposure and people fawning over them. It's easy to convince a person that she is a savior. Not so easy to remain humble in such a spotlight.
The problem isn't her thinking she's a savior. The problem is a bunch of adult world leaders treating her like she is one, and I don't mean "fawning" alone. I mean there's a psychic key that she unlocks, & the process was & is downright malignant.
The fact that there are professional "activists" is a clue. The protests of the sixties were very worthy causes. Those causes were at least 80% satisfied with the end of the war, the clean air and water acts, and the equal rights amendment. The remaining 20% will never be completely resolved, but a work in progress, like interstate highways.
The activists ran out of major causes, so they turned to demonizing CO2,. It's a convenient demon which just happens to be an unavoidable by-product of combustion, and which is benign in concentratiins below 2000ppm. Fuel also happens to be a large expense for everyone in society, so again, it's easy to despise.
Activists get a rise out of the feeling of empowerment. It's a drug they just couldn't give up so someone made up a global cause that would feed their addiction. There is no satisfying an addictiion, hence the anger.
Greta is actually a perfect symbol for actvists without a cause. Angry petulent children lashing out.
Sorry for your loss Celia but love your healthy attitude to life. It makes such a difference to a family if the Mum is in a good space. Wish you all the best for 2023!
Succinctly, if you protect your child from every risk, there is a 100% chance the child will grow up messed up, and if you don't protect your child from every risk, there is a small chance your child will be permanently harmed by something you could have protected against. Not gambling is not a choice in this matter.
When I compare the "free-range" childhood of my generation with today's helicopter parenting, I see adults who are unable to control their fears about their children, and who therefore impose their neuroses not only on their own children, but on everyone else's children.
We lost our oldest daughter in infancy to severe heart and liver defects. So I am painfully aware of what it feels like to lose a child. But I knew it would be psychologically unhealthy for my other children if I protected them from *everything* for fear of losing them. I had to use self-control--a quality that seems to have gone by the wayside--to reject the temptation to shelter my kids too carefully.
The reality is that no matter how careful we are, we cannot prevent all dangers. A look at freak accidents will show that. There is a very real risk, though, of making ourselves and our children mentally sick by refusing to live in the effort to protect our lives.
I lost child too - I am sorry for your loss....💙
I'm sorry for yours. It's a club no one wants to be in.
Yep. Eternally sucks.
Very well-said.
Celia - Your comments are always thought provoking and worth reading.... In this case you have really given me something to think about that is very close to my heart. I have a great deal of anxiety around anticipating/ avoiding loss. Dealing with this is really about self control and acceptance as you point out... I am truly sorry for your loss and I admire your approach....
As an example, I had a friend who was watching her only child, a son, play little league. He was at bat and hit in the chest by a pitched ball. The blow stopped his heart and he died. This was before CPR.
Was little league banned because of this? No....
When you step out of your front door, you enter a dangerous environment. The most dangerous thing you do every day, is get in your car and driving away. Since the invention of the automobile tens of millions of people have been killed. It doesn't stop us from driving.
Life in a zoo is very safe. The animals are well fed and cared for. Unless they get out of the cage. Then they don't have a clue where to go or what to do. They will either be captured or euthanized.
Life in the wild is risky. You may be killed. You may have a hard time finding food. But you are more alive than any zoo animal can ever hope to be. Unless you get put in a cage and sent to the zoo.
It's very sad, but the reality is that you can't prevent all possible harm, no matter what you do. But you can drive yourself (and others) crazy by playing the "I've defended against THAT danger; what danger might happen NOW?" game. And children who take no risks at all never manage to gain true self-confidence.
Now that a generation of helicoptered (or worse, snowplowed) kids have reached putative adulthood, we can see the disastrous effects. These young adults have never been allowed to solve their own problems, which leaves them incapable of opening a bank account, renting an apartment, dealing with a speeding ticket, or even going to a job interview without mom there to hold their hand.
Worse yet, kids who are never allowed to test themselves physically fail to develop basic necessary physical traits like a proper sense of balance. They are also more likely to be injured because they don't know what their body is and isn't capable of.
Too many parents forget that they are raising future adults. That is something that my husband and I worked hard to remember at each step of parenting. We now have three adult children who are capable of solving their own problems (although they, like us at the same age) have discovered that parents still have a lot of wisdom to impart).
So true.
No it doesn’t but this is such a sad post🥲🥲
Yes it is.
While I understand the point of your story, CPR has been a thing for many decades now. How long ago are you talking about?
1950s
Wow! That is just crazy.
Common sense and consult your doctor.
I’m sorry for the loss of your eldest daughter, Celia.
At the height of the pandemic, the “esteemed” New York Times ran a piece claiming that Covid was a leading cause of death for children. Instinctively I knew that could not be accurate so I started to research and learned that drowning was actually far deadlier for children (around 4,000 fatalities annually) than Covid ever was or will be. Yet we take risks with baths, showers, pools and other bodies of water every day. The hysteria around Covid and children (IFR < 0.0003%) was absolutely maddening! (And working in a school I was exposed to this madness daily.)
Amen. Preach it, Celia. ❤️❤️❤️
I am so sorry for your loss. I too believe me, being Genx, totally unsupervised, was actually one of the best qualities I received in life….
So well said!! Thank you 🙏
Thank you for sharing
Celia, I'm very sorry to read this about your oldest daughter. My condolences to you and your family.
"adults who are unable to control their fears about their children, and who therefore impose their neuroses not only on their own children, but on everyone else's children."
Sounds like Mr. & Mrs. Thunberg.
🤣🤣🤣 exactly like the Thunbergs. “How dare you” Snarling!
I've wondered if the parents also talk like that. What a household.
Can you imagine Greta’s household! It must be bizarre to be living in it or to have grown up in it, and then to top it all the UN to buy into all this bullshit crazy stuff.
This was pretty interesting. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IetovUoOmRo&ab_channel=JordanBPeterson
I don't buy that. Her ego has gotten the better of her just like most people who get broadcast exposure and people fawning over them. It's easy to convince a person that she is a savior. Not so easy to remain humble in such a spotlight.
The problem isn't her thinking she's a savior. The problem is a bunch of adult world leaders treating her like she is one, and I don't mean "fawning" alone. I mean there's a psychic key that she unlocks, & the process was & is downright malignant.
The fact that there are professional "activists" is a clue. The protests of the sixties were very worthy causes. Those causes were at least 80% satisfied with the end of the war, the clean air and water acts, and the equal rights amendment. The remaining 20% will never be completely resolved, but a work in progress, like interstate highways.
The activists ran out of major causes, so they turned to demonizing CO2,. It's a convenient demon which just happens to be an unavoidable by-product of combustion, and which is benign in concentratiins below 2000ppm. Fuel also happens to be a large expense for everyone in society, so again, it's easy to despise.
Activists get a rise out of the feeling of empowerment. It's a drug they just couldn't give up so someone made up a global cause that would feed their addiction. There is no satisfying an addictiion, hence the anger.
Greta is actually a perfect symbol for actvists without a cause. Angry petulent children lashing out.
Excellent thanks for sharing!
What a heartbreak to lose a child in infancy or at any other time. I can't imagine the pain.
The Left wages war on the normal.
Sorry for your loss Celia but love your healthy attitude to life. It makes such a difference to a family if the Mum is in a good space. Wish you all the best for 2023!
Succinctly, if you protect your child from every risk, there is a 100% chance the child will grow up messed up, and if you don't protect your child from every risk, there is a small chance your child will be permanently harmed by something you could have protected against. Not gambling is not a choice in this matter.
Amen to that!
Exactly!