“This is like, the Founding Fathers’ house and they’ve got a fuckin’ Monster-sponsored octagon in the middle of the lawn,” laughs Antonio Sanchez. “That is retarded. But also, it’s cool. People are gonna remember this fucking shit.”
We’re staring at a giant screen at the Ellipse, a park south of the White House fence, with some 80,000 other people, watching MMA fighters beat the hell out of each other on the White House lawn. The event is supposedly in honor of America’s 250th birthday, but it also happens to be the president’s 80th.
Waves of shirtless frat boys are wandering around, drinking $20 cocktails; dads in golf shirts are waiting in lines that seemed to stretch forever to buy merch, or AI-generated MMA posters featuring their own faces; America’s long-suffering girlfriends are loitering around in flip-flops and peering at the Budweiser Clydesdales. Shortly after my arrival, Logan Paul, a professional boxer, influencer, and energy drink entrepreneur who was a big booster for Trump in the 2024 election, took to the stage to hype up the crowd.
“This is insane! Republicans as far as the eye can see!” Paul yelled.
