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From my vantage point of a parent of three adult children–––35, 32, and 29––I have an optimistic take on your point about time spent with children. The quality, or resonance, of my time spent with my children has steadily increased as they've grown older.

I attribute this to two factors: the density of our relationships built up since they were little and the growth in their own life experiences, hence their ability to be among my closest confidantes.

In other words, time with your young children is both precious in the present and an investment for even more precious time in the future .

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As quite a few people seemed to like my comment from yesterday, I thought I'd offer the recent post below, also about children and family.

My posts are short, a 1,000 word self-imposed limit, equivalent to about a five minute read.

https://robertsdavidn.substack.com/p/post-wedding-reflections-having-another

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founding

Thank you for this very important reflection!

It does go by so fast.

There are many reasons, especially lately, for homeschooling. I won’t get into that cultural/political/religious debate. But to me a *timeless* reason is this one, and it has nothing to do with public school propaganda or anything: do people not realize they’re hardly gonna have any time with their children after age 18 or so? Yet there seems such a rush to get them in daycare, then school, then all sorts of after school program, so that for years of their life you maybe spend only a couple hours if that with them daily - while some rando teacher strangers spend 8 hours/day with them?

And then, summer break arrives, as it does this week, and so many parents “joke” about getting those kids out of the home fast into camp, or counting the days til summer vacation is over.

It’s like: do you even *like* these children?? Do you not realize how soon they’ll be adults and how much you’ll miss these years?

I know, I know, sometimes daycare is a necessity, have to make that money, and sending em to school is just what people do, but try to keep this important essay in mind: money is valuable only so far as it gives you time, don’t sacrifice priceless time with your kids for all tye money in the world.

Thank you!!

Ps similar argument against giving your kids smartphones - unless you want their loneliness chart to peak much, much sooner and last much, much longer.

Gaty.substack.com

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Days drag, weeks walk, years fly.

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Many years ago, I came across a lovely poem which basically said hush to the housework, I'm rocking my baby and babies don't keep.

When you have little children -- time can be strange and days can feel forever. With a 4 am start due to an excited toddler, supper time can feel a long ways away. Except one day, you turn around and the child has grown or even grown and flown for many years.

And none of us truly knows how long they have left which is why it is important to live in the moment. Remember the past, hope for the future but live in today.

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founding

Mr. Bloom - I am filled with gratitude for your gorgeous gift this morning. Thank you 🙏

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There is another version, and it is growing with the Autism epidemic.

I have a 27 year old son who is on Active Duty Military deployment. Because of his job, I just get a text or two during the week. The dream child in your outline above.

My other son is 25 years old, and I am with him every day with my wife. He is vaccine damaged, Autistic, and while we are working hard on a "What happens when we (the parents) die?" solution, we don't have it yet.

I am not an "anti-vaxxer", rather pro-vaccine safety, and I am very constructive about the issue -https://outsidein51.substack.com/p/pro-vaccine-safety-in-2023-where

My counsel is:

1) Yes, cherish your time with your kids, but protect them, and DO NOT trust "trusted authorities" to do the right thing. It is your child.

2) Please raise them to be problem solvers. We have some really big issues in our country/world, and we need the next generation to be equipped to deal with the problems we are leaving them.

Peace.

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I think we experience the passage of time as inversely proportional to our age. When you are very young, time passes slowly as you look ahead to the next big event (Christmas, summer vacation, birthdays, etc.), but as you grow older, time speeds up and you never seem to have enough of it to do what you need or want to do. By the time you are my age, time flies by so fast, you can't remember what day it is.

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Very interesting and thought-provoking article. Also, the picture of you with your son is award winning.

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I cannot buuuuuuuuh-leave you (and the replies thus far) neglected to mention the elephant in the room OH! MY! GOD! How bout the massive damage cell phones have caused and the MAGNITUDE

of TIME wasted! How entire lives are being completely squandered because of them! EVERYTHING!!

This is the greatest and most damaging epidemic in the history of the world and solidifies just how rampant addiction is! What's truly comical is how people can't see the correlation to drugs and alcohol and that it is worse than everything else combined!!!!!! NO ONE can STOP OR PUT THEM DOWN! Everywhere you go, everyone is addicted! The joggers are hilarious! The celebrities on the red carpet - the politicians talking to a reporter! Everyone has one in their hand!!

I've a dog that I walk 3 hours every day - my philosophy is if you had a child you knew would only live 15-20 years you would give it the best life possible! I spend ALL my free TIME taking him to dog parks and walking all over creation! WHY? Because I value how short and precious the TIME we have together is! I don't own a TV because I could never waste that magnitude of TIME when I could be spending it on constructive things. There's a reason they call it the boob tube!!

NOTHING ON THE FACE OF THIS EARTH has caused more destruction then these phones but specifically when you take into consideration the MAGNITUDE OF TIME being wasted!

NO ONE works - everyone is looking down at the screen! The worst however is how they've destroyed education - how could you possibly-possibly allow them in schools? The answer? Because the teachers are even MORE addicted and therefore would never ever support banning them! It's a disease!!

When was the last time (or first) you saw or hear someone using it for an actual emergency which is the excuse everyone uses to have and NEED THEM! I have never heard someone say OMG are they dead - is the house on fire - call the police! Have you? On the other hand I have heard every single intimate detail imaginable! Enduing the nonsensical conversation on lines is beyond nauseating!

I could spend hours pointing out how they've destroyed society but even worse than having them in classrooms is how everyone walking with baby strollers (and dogs) is paying more attention the the phone - no one is actually interacting with children! I often wonder the statistics for kids getting hurt and or far worse because someone couldn't put the phone down? And when the child does want attention they simply hand it a phone or electronic gizmo so it doesn't interfere with . . . . their phone TIME!

I have a flip phone I use solely for phone calls when I am working! They demanded I get a smart phone - after wasting 45 MINUTES trying to figure it out I told my boss to fire me instead! I was irate I had wasted that MUCH TIME on something so intellectually asinine!

People at work refer to me as a human GPS because all I have to do is look at a map to KNOW where I am going! I love the folks who follow GPS and tell you they have no idea

how they went or arrived at their destination and just followed what it said! Mindless imbeciles!!!

There is no greater waste of time and LIFE than these phones! 8 hrs/day x 7 days/week x 52 weeks/year! I wonder if anyone on their death bed ever wished they'd spent MORE TIME on their phone?

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"Time billionaires"? Uh oh, think I've reached the time poverty level. Is there a government program I qualify for?

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That graph really hits!

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It's so rare to find such wisdom in one so young. As someone in the middle of his eighth decade, I can add only that he might even underestimate the importance of cherishing each moment. I will pass this on to every young person I know. Thank you.

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Nodding along, here.

Try this. Find a place where you like to be. Be there, for an hour. Better - make it 2 hours. No phone, no doing.

See how that sits in memory, later, compared with other things you did. It surprised me, so I do that quite often now.

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Wonderful graphics, illustrations and a provocative reflection. As a relatively new retiree, I am often asked why I chose to leave the workplace a few years early.

My response:

Imagine a dashboard with multiple gauges- money, health, etc. Instead of a gas gauge - you see remaining lifespan. I am currently at 1/4 tank ! Since the gauge is analog, I might really be at 1/3 life left OR … I might really be on “Empty”… One truth remains - the gas gauge needle moves more quickly under a quarter tank! Thank you Mr. Bloom for your gentle and wonderful reminder about life.

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I use two similar thoughts when I think about time and my efforts not to waste it. Using the 80 years of life assumption: 1) I will be asleep for over 26 years and 2) I will live through over 10 years of Mondays.

Warren Buffet once said that he can buy anything he wants but time, but I don’t think that’s completely accurate. We can spend it differently on the goods that matter, which is encapsulated well in this essay.

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Tempus fugit memento mori. Time flies, remember death. This was a good article to remind people how precious our time is. My youngest child graduates high school next week, his last day was yesterday. It truly does fly. I will not squander the time I have living in fear of a virus as many did during covid, but instead appreciating the joys that have been given to me. I really like the visual aid of our life in the weeks. It makes it easy for people to visualize.

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