I think there's an additional element to the not caring. The true crime buff might only see this as little more real than a mystery novel. That could be healthy though. A clinical treatment of the worlds evils is probably adaptive.
For me, this article misses the mark. I can’t comment on why anyone else would or would not be interested in this story. That GP was a young, pretty woman is a big part of it. Another part of it, for me, is the difference between what she was projecting onto the Internet and what her life was actually like. I watched one of her van life videos, and honestly, though the video made it look fun, when I pictured what all 24 hours of each day might have looked like, what I pictured—hours driving, sleeping in a van, not showering, not having a kitchen—seemed miserable no matter how professionally the videos were edited. It is, in some sense, a not-so-comforting reminder that the lives you see on social media aren’t real. But the biggest thing is that she was a victim of an abusive relationship hiding not just in plain site but publicly in broadcast media. I find myself wondering: If I knew someone in an abusive relationship, would I be able to tell? Should someone have known by his behavior that BL was capable of murder? What kind of family helps a murderer escape, and then lies about it, and is this the environment that produces criminals? Would I recognize such a family before their child murders someone? Could GP have been saved by the police, by friends, by family, or was this just a foregone conclusion of a tragic story. Not to make light of it, but this is like in the old days when you locked your keys in the car, and even though you knew immediately that it was over and that hours of finding a phone and waiting for AAA were in your future, you couldn’t help but check all the windows and doors over and over, and think over how it happened and how you might have avoided it. In my opinion, that is what is happening now in the press. And just like with the car, eventually it will be over, and most of us will move on.
You make some good points, particularly about the ridiculous idea that people only cared because of her age and race (everything is about race, nowadays sadly).
I don't see, however, how and why is creating a narrative on social media is appreciably different from what we do in our real-life social interactions. Don't we all try to present ourselves in accordance with how we want others to perceive us? The way we dress, groom ourselves, speak, move, smell, style our hair etc., in preparation for say, a formal dinner (or whatever), is informed (explicitly or not) by how we want others to perceive us and our understanding of what is appropriate for a given situation. The same is true online when social media influencers (or anyone) posts content.
Sure, social media and digital interactions make it easier for us to more carefully control what we present to others, so it is certainly easier to misrepresent things. I don't think this outweighs all of the benefits we individually and as a society have gained through the spread of digital / social media however.
I think the people watch the video of the police body cam in order to try to figure something out, a hit or a clue about what must have happened or could have happened.
Thank you. Social media is an “avatar” of the physical world experience, yet only partially informs us and so we move forward accordingly in the physical world. I write this not to judge John Doe on context, but to argue that even the best case scenario is a handicapped decision making process at each step. We would have to be both behavioral scientists and at the same time social scientists armed with all the world’s information- to act without such a handicap.
Here's the lesson: try to raise your kids to have aspirations beyond roaming around the country in a van and having people follow you online. And, oh yes, teach your kid about boundaries. If a boy/girlfriend...fiancé...treats them like garbage...especially when you're 22...move the hell on. Don't wait to be literally or figuratively, murdered. And-- make sure your kids know they can "park the van", call you, and you'll get them on the next flight home.
Kat please start publishing on Substack! I never seem to catch Feminine Chaos since you moved from YouTube but I miss your conversations with Phoebe and general take on all the nonsense.
I would suggest the author spend some time looking into the multitude of video feeds from all sorts of folks who live full time in everything from cars to 55 foot motorhomes. Gabby wasn't an anomaly, nor was she what I would consider an 'influencer', she was one of hundreds of folks who were documenting their experiences as they traveled. I've seen everything from fun and informative to emotionally devastating personal revelations in these feeds, and the only 'influence' that I've had was understanding of the good and bad aspects of that lifestyle. Plus, we all shit, so shitting in a bucket is only a very small part of the life style, unless you are such a prude that you think your shit doesn't stink.
I would suggest that we're fascinated by Gabby only because she was killed, and since she left a substantial video record of her life, folks can gain whatever understanding can be had about this tragedy by watching it unfold. We 'gawk' at car wrecks we drive past, the only difference here is that the victim is able to talk to us prior to the 'accident.
Look up 'Fate Unbound' on the internet. A cute couple with pets that live fulltime in a travel trailer. No influence except sharing their lifestyle to those who are interested. If Gabby was more (or less) honest then they seem to be, so be it. But she wasn't an outlier in that community, she was one of them.
As if Rosenfeld doesn't make her own story and project it to her own chosen audience. We get it: you, the critic, get to place yourself above all audiences--Petito's YouTube audience, her actual audience (we gawkers), and the audience now reading about your higher standards. (Thanks for the courtesy "we," though.)
As for Petito's tragedy, well, they happen. People used to, you know, write plays about them and stuff. Julius Caesar was a real guy who got killed, he's also a fictional guy who gets killed. Just like Petito.
Thanks for providing a reasonable explanation for why I have seen news about this women on the front page every day for the past 4-5 weeks. I could not under why people were so caught up in this tragedy
Social media is a curious phenomenon. Why is it we don't read the up close and personal stories of the children who get gunned down, often randomly, in the streets of Chicago every weekend? There is horror that we could obsess over, but we only obsess over the imaginary life we don't have? Petito's life we want, the little Chicago kid we don't don't care. We only want to watch the narrative with the Greek tragedy ending. Recommend everyone watch Being There with Peter Sellers in his final role, one that sums up where we are. "I like to watch."
She was a very pretty girl, and her photographs charmed and captivated the country. It's a shame she was killed. Her beauty means her story got more attention than thousands of deserving others.
I wonder, if we could ask Gabby whether she deserves to be elevated like a goddess, what would she say? Somehow I imagine she'll sadly respond, "Don't dwell on me. Pay attention to those who are still alive, and make this a better world. If my death moves enough people, then maybe it won't feel quite so senseless."
I think there's an additional element to the not caring. The true crime buff might only see this as little more real than a mystery novel. That could be healthy though. A clinical treatment of the worlds evils is probably adaptive.
Missing White Girl only wishes she was as famous as Black Guy Who Resisted Arrest.
If the murdered was black the obsession would have been very short.
"our nationwide obsession"? Her 1.2M followers is 0.4% of US internet users. Isn't this really just a media obsession?
For me, this article misses the mark. I can’t comment on why anyone else would or would not be interested in this story. That GP was a young, pretty woman is a big part of it. Another part of it, for me, is the difference between what she was projecting onto the Internet and what her life was actually like. I watched one of her van life videos, and honestly, though the video made it look fun, when I pictured what all 24 hours of each day might have looked like, what I pictured—hours driving, sleeping in a van, not showering, not having a kitchen—seemed miserable no matter how professionally the videos were edited. It is, in some sense, a not-so-comforting reminder that the lives you see on social media aren’t real. But the biggest thing is that she was a victim of an abusive relationship hiding not just in plain site but publicly in broadcast media. I find myself wondering: If I knew someone in an abusive relationship, would I be able to tell? Should someone have known by his behavior that BL was capable of murder? What kind of family helps a murderer escape, and then lies about it, and is this the environment that produces criminals? Would I recognize such a family before their child murders someone? Could GP have been saved by the police, by friends, by family, or was this just a foregone conclusion of a tragic story. Not to make light of it, but this is like in the old days when you locked your keys in the car, and even though you knew immediately that it was over and that hours of finding a phone and waiting for AAA were in your future, you couldn’t help but check all the windows and doors over and over, and think over how it happened and how you might have avoided it. In my opinion, that is what is happening now in the press. And just like with the car, eventually it will be over, and most of us will move on.
You make some good points, particularly about the ridiculous idea that people only cared because of her age and race (everything is about race, nowadays sadly).
I don't see, however, how and why is creating a narrative on social media is appreciably different from what we do in our real-life social interactions. Don't we all try to present ourselves in accordance with how we want others to perceive us? The way we dress, groom ourselves, speak, move, smell, style our hair etc., in preparation for say, a formal dinner (or whatever), is informed (explicitly or not) by how we want others to perceive us and our understanding of what is appropriate for a given situation. The same is true online when social media influencers (or anyone) posts content.
Sure, social media and digital interactions make it easier for us to more carefully control what we present to others, so it is certainly easier to misrepresent things. I don't think this outweighs all of the benefits we individually and as a society have gained through the spread of digital / social media however.
I think the people watch the video of the police body cam in order to try to figure something out, a hit or a clue about what must have happened or could have happened.
Thank you. Social media is an “avatar” of the physical world experience, yet only partially informs us and so we move forward accordingly in the physical world. I write this not to judge John Doe on context, but to argue that even the best case scenario is a handicapped decision making process at each step. We would have to be both behavioral scientists and at the same time social scientists armed with all the world’s information- to act without such a handicap.
Here's the lesson: try to raise your kids to have aspirations beyond roaming around the country in a van and having people follow you online. And, oh yes, teach your kid about boundaries. If a boy/girlfriend...fiancé...treats them like garbage...especially when you're 22...move the hell on. Don't wait to be literally or figuratively, murdered. And-- make sure your kids know they can "park the van", call you, and you'll get them on the next flight home.
Kat please start publishing on Substack! I never seem to catch Feminine Chaos since you moved from YouTube but I miss your conversations with Phoebe and general take on all the nonsense.
I would suggest the author spend some time looking into the multitude of video feeds from all sorts of folks who live full time in everything from cars to 55 foot motorhomes. Gabby wasn't an anomaly, nor was she what I would consider an 'influencer', she was one of hundreds of folks who were documenting their experiences as they traveled. I've seen everything from fun and informative to emotionally devastating personal revelations in these feeds, and the only 'influence' that I've had was understanding of the good and bad aspects of that lifestyle. Plus, we all shit, so shitting in a bucket is only a very small part of the life style, unless you are such a prude that you think your shit doesn't stink.
I would suggest that we're fascinated by Gabby only because she was killed, and since she left a substantial video record of her life, folks can gain whatever understanding can be had about this tragedy by watching it unfold. We 'gawk' at car wrecks we drive past, the only difference here is that the victim is able to talk to us prior to the 'accident.
Look up 'Fate Unbound' on the internet. A cute couple with pets that live fulltime in a travel trailer. No influence except sharing their lifestyle to those who are interested. If Gabby was more (or less) honest then they seem to be, so be it. But she wasn't an outlier in that community, she was one of them.
As if Rosenfeld doesn't make her own story and project it to her own chosen audience. We get it: you, the critic, get to place yourself above all audiences--Petito's YouTube audience, her actual audience (we gawkers), and the audience now reading about your higher standards. (Thanks for the courtesy "we," though.)
As for Petito's tragedy, well, they happen. People used to, you know, write plays about them and stuff. Julius Caesar was a real guy who got killed, he's also a fictional guy who gets killed. Just like Petito.
Thanks for providing a reasonable explanation for why I have seen news about this women on the front page every day for the past 4-5 weeks. I could not under why people were so caught up in this tragedy
Social media is a curious phenomenon. Why is it we don't read the up close and personal stories of the children who get gunned down, often randomly, in the streets of Chicago every weekend? There is horror that we could obsess over, but we only obsess over the imaginary life we don't have? Petito's life we want, the little Chicago kid we don't don't care. We only want to watch the narrative with the Greek tragedy ending. Recommend everyone watch Being There with Peter Sellers in his final role, one that sums up where we are. "I like to watch."
Being There was Sellers best movie!
She was a very pretty girl, and her photographs charmed and captivated the country. It's a shame she was killed. Her beauty means her story got more attention than thousands of deserving others.
I wonder, if we could ask Gabby whether she deserves to be elevated like a goddess, what would she say? Somehow I imagine she'll sadly respond, "Don't dwell on me. Pay attention to those who are still alive, and make this a better world. If my death moves enough people, then maybe it won't feel quite so senseless."
Wow you're a good writer, keep it up.