In the summer after high school I worked inside the coal mines to put away money for the fall college term. There I met a seventeen-year-old man - not a boy by any stretch, a man - who had got his girlfriend pregnant, married her, and immediately went into the mines to earn a living for them. I don't remember his name, only that at sev…
In the summer after high school I worked inside the coal mines to put away money for the fall college term. There I met a seventeen-year-old man - not a boy by any stretch, a man - who had got his girlfriend pregnant, married her, and immediately went into the mines to earn a living for them. I don't remember his name, only that at seventeen he was so much more mature than I was - a maturity level I never reached until my thirties. Somehow we have to reverse the prolonged adolescence that is the modern college man and woman. A nation IS its citizens, and we are turning ours into bowls of jelly.
God. When I came out of the mine after my first day, I was SOOOOOO proud that I could blow black snot out of my nose. Made me feel like a man. LOL Like everyone is saying here, young people can be so stupid.....
Ditto! I worked in a Pepperidge Farm factory on an assembly line - think "I love Lucy" but without the laughs! I did get to eat the food but MAN, was that a good reminder that I needed a college degree!
What I learned from this article was the amazing amount of kids with mental health problems. What have we done as a society to create a cohort of youngsters who can't function without the supervision of mommy? This is what we have to deal with as a society today. Maybe the flood of illegals at our border is not a bad thing as they will add some backbone to an over protected generation.
I suspect social media plays a significant role. Imagine where we’ll be in another generation as virtual reality begins to supplant real, direct experiences.
This is bullshit, I went to college had challenges , went to a professor for assistance when having a hard time in chemistry and he looked at my grades and said "yep, you are having trouble " that was it. A counselor told me if you need a swift kick in the ass you can come and see me. I busted my ass , and finished college because I wanted to succeed. Then I went to med school in a foreign country and busted my ass again and succeeded. A bunch of pussies we are raising who can't , hunker down and just do it. Time passes anyway, the only thing to battle is the books and some ups and downs of relationships. Weak , Weak ,Weak people . I was taught not to feel sorry for myself . Don't feel sorry for yourself , have a Gil and just study, study, study . We are turning into amoebas .
I’ve concluded that secularization is really the prime mover in our descent to jellydom. Materialism, especially in the globalized internet age, is a highway to despair. Why bother going through the pain and effort of becoming a responsible adult when your reward is a life of insatiable status anxiety? Young people are opting out of “real life” because we haven’t given them a reason to really live.
Incidentally, this is precisely the message that Jordan Peterson delivers in his “rules for life” and it’s no wonder he’s so popular among young adult men.
You don't need the promise and reward of an afterlife in order to have a reason to live, that's just silly. Responsibility, and morality itself for that matter, exist completely independent of religion. They are universal human attributes, not divine gifts bestowed by a higher power.
Besides, life itself is reason enough to live a noble and fulfilling existence. If anything, our mortality only serves to make our short time here more precious, not less.
Young people are not 'opting out of of real life' because they are godless heathens, there's all sorts of reasons for that: lower standard of living, bleak environmental future, the primacy of social media, lazy parenting...the list goes on and on. Sure religious participation is at an all-time low, but there are oodles of things changing right now from a few decades ago. Correlation is not causation.
Regardless, I would vehemently argue you don't need faith to have purpose in life.
It’s ironic he mentions Jordan Peterson, who often uses the Christian Bible to support his ideas, but ultimately does not believe the myths himself. Whatever god Peterson believes in, it isn’t Jehovah.
Immaturity is the word. I know exactly what you are saying. I was just an immature, irresponsible kid when I went to college. In the middle of my junior year, I walked away from my classes.
I tried to get a job but had no skills so I joined the Army. I saved my money and when I was discharged went back to school and because I had walked away without dropping my classes, I was 13 grade points down. That gave me incentive to actually study and I pulled myself out of the grade point hole in my first semester.
I was still an immature jerk but at least in this area, schooling, I had purpose and drive. I had a goal and I pursued it.
Not all of us are wired the same way. I was a shiftless, lazy immature nitwit. Sure, some of the students have mental challenges but I believe, and that is just my opinion, most of the washouts to be like I was, immature and directionless.
The author of the article, to me, lays the blame on the universities for student failure. It sounded like the same song. Everybody is a victim Nobody is at fault for bad behavior. It's the institution's fault not the student. I'm sure the schools could to more to council these kids but I wasn't a victim. I was a jerk.
I actually got the impression that the author was trying to say that parents are responsible to prepare their children for college and shouldn't expect universities to be babysitters.
You're right, it did ay the blame on parents and students, but also schools that oversell their ability to "manage" the students. Overall, I thought it was a balanced article that affixed blame to everyone responsible for the failure of students.
I didn't read the article that way. The author talks about more support staff and counseling. If you read leftist articles the solution to bad behavior is counseling. Nobody is responsible for their behavior because everybody is a victim and counseling is the solution.
As a kid, I walked a mile to and from school, and was outside with my friends until my curfew, which was frequently after dark). I lived in an upper middle class/affluent neighborhood. Life still had it's traumas, but you were expected to deal with them.
When I was fourteen, I was competing with other kids my age to mow lawns in the summer, and shovel driveways (Michigan) in the winter. My first paycheck came from working as a caddie. At sixteen, I started bussing tables, and worked various restaurant jobs through college.
I now live in a similar neighborhood, and never see kids working around the neighborhood, or playing, as far as that goes. I don't see them working in restaurants, or other small businesses much, and wonder how they spend their days.
It was my generation that started this downward spiral into prolonged adolescence. My kids, born in the early 80s, were at the beginning of the 'everybody gets a trophy, nobody's feelings should ever be hurt, or feel ashamed' generation. As a parent, even though I knew this was ridiculous, we were constantly fighting this mindset that was being promoted at the public schools, and local 'mom' culture.
You shouldn't get a trophy if you don't deserve it.
Getting your feelings hurt is part of learning how to cope as an adult
Shame is a way of telling you that you've made bad decisions
I'm not sure there's anyway to get our society back to what it was. I don't blame the moms as much as the genetic need to nurture and protect children is very strong, but the fathers seem to have abdicated their role in telling kids to get out of the house, don't cry unless you're bleeding, it's time to get a job, you're eating too much, etc.
Being a parent is hard, and 30-40 years ago, parents decided it was more than they wanted to do, so they avoided the hard parts. This is where it took us.
And, my grandparents and parent said my generation had it too soft.
I just realized I may have been channeling Dana Carvey.....'And we LIKED it'
Ha! I was born in 1960 and had my kids late in life. Many of the parents that had kids in my youngest’s classes are 10-15 yrs younger than me. I used to be appalled at how these Moms knew every detail of every piece of homework & test the kids had to take. They micromanaged every move their kids made. Helicopter parents. Sometimes I’d start to doubt myself because I told my kids that their schoolwork was their job to keep track of, not mine. I was about the only one. The youngest is now a sophomore at an out of state college. The societal influences of “taking care of your mental health” (ie: stay in bed and skip class if you’re having a bad day)derailed her a bit in the second semester last year, but hopefully she stays on track this year.
On February 8, 1922, a newspaper published in Massillon, Ohio mentioned the term participation trophy, so it would appear this harmful act has been around for a while, but alas, down through history, adults have always lamented about the youth. But here are the implications of participation trophies:
I have a theory on that. (I have a theory on everything.) Throughout history, men traditionally built the material world; women built every man and woman in it. That's changed now - in large part due to the need for both partners to work - one full-time, often a second part-time job. The partner then works, at a minimum, part-time, sometimes full-time. So who's raising the children? Third parties - nannies, babysitters, daycare, government schools.
Or nobody. Who teaches little boys to be men? Nobody. Who teaches little girls to be women? Ditto. Who is on watch when gub'ment schools fill their little heads with Critical Race Theory, Social Justice Warrioring, community organizing, and that Madison and Jefferson were, first and foremost, slaveholders? Nobody. Nobody is watching the third parties. Nobody has the time. I see a glimmer here and there suggesting that may be changing. Sure hope so.
So much to discuss here! I completely agree. Believe me when I say my opinion is quite unpopular with many women, but why are you even having children if you are going to drop off an 8 week old, 10 hours per day, at a daycare center, while you go to work? I stayed home with my daughter until she was 2 and 1/2 yrs old. Was it hard financially? You bet. Was it ultimately worth it? Absolutely!
This is the reason why I am for the child tax credit for stay at home parents in lieu of subsidizing childcare/pre-K. $500 per child can be life changing for a family. Families can then decide if they want one parent home. Like you, I stayed home when my kids were young. I was making more $$ than my spouse at the time I left work. It was incredibly hard in the early years for so many reasons including financial, but I wouldn't trade it for anything. Subsidizing childcare is only going to make it more expensive than it already is.
My dad was born in 1956. He built the house I grew up in on land he bought soon after he graduated high school because he'd been working and saving for years by the time he was in his early 20s. He started building the house right after he was laid off due to the recession in the early 80s. He did everything--plumbing, electric, you name it. He still cuts and gathers firewood every year to heat that house, still does small building projects around his land. His truck needed a new bed recently. Instead of spending a bunch of money on a used one, he welded another bed for himself. Every car we had (not many), we drove until it was on the verge of 300,000 miles because he would just keep fixing it. He taught my sister and I how to change tires, change the oil, file saws, how to take care of machinery, sharpen mower blades, how and when to rototill, plant green manure, dress a deer, the names of the trees in our woods, etc., etc. Now, in retirement, he spends his time building engines from scratch and putting together old cars, loading his own bullets, reading reading reading, walking in the woods. He would help me with my trigonometry and calculus homework when I was in school, gives me suggestions on books nowadays. He worked at a factory for around 40 years, something he didn't like but did anyway to make ends meet, never went to college, never owned a cell phone, but is completely content. He is, quite literally, my hero (my mom's pretty amazing, too). I think a lot of people are not so lucky to have such role models anymore.
This piece to me connects to Shrier's recent article in which she interviews Leonard Sax. I went to the library and got a few of his books after reading that yesterday. I finished The Collapse of Parenting last night, which pretty much sums up the current situation. One of the biggest things I took away was that parents used to be both strict and loving; now, they think they have to be one or the other. Guess which one most choose?
You've obviously never owned a dachshund. If you're ever passing through Iowa I'd be happy to introduce you to Walter and Teddy. They'll change your opinion.
Just...and what is it that we keep hearing "control of my body", while giving NO support for the body in the womb? split. I am fine with "it is your decision"...result is?
Yes. I’m your age. Too many parents are out-sourcing parenting to schools and park districts. They only want the nice parts of “parenting”. They are surprised that they don’t know their adolescent kids. Well, duh.
And it gets worse with each half generation. I’ve told my kids I fear the schools will turn my grandchildren into people I loathe, and who loathe me (and their parents.)
Most teachers and social workers don’t see it. They can’t. They’re swimming in it.
They are swimming in it. I have two friends whose wives are counselors that view everyone as damaged. As noted in the column, they work from the perspective that something has caused you trauma and you just don't know it yet.
I am a social worker in a high school and I refuse to raise our kids this way. I am unpopular with staff and occasionally with students sometimes, because while I am empathetic and cognizant of how life experiences impact kids, I DO.NOT coddle them! This is a major disservice to them and the county...I am tired of watching it.
Do teenage girls even babysit anymore? I started at 50 cents an hour and worked up to 1.50. Had a nice little business of referrals going. Saved for the clothes I wanted since money was tight at home.
As soon as my kid turned 16 he had to have a summer job. Bagging groceries was the first one.
Covid. Everything was shut down and they had to isolate. They were helping their younger brothers and sisters and everyone was online. Only part of the story, but still pretty significant for most kids for a couple years.
Girl falsely accuses teacher. She gets fired. Charges all dropped because they were false from beginning to end. Teacher without job at school she loved.
Mine did and still do! Both started babysitting at around 13. Now 19 & 23 and even the 23 yr old will babysit at night & on weekends sometimes for extra money. (She has a full time job)
We have 87 houses in our neighborhood. We have a pretty good supply of babysitters and house sitters and kids advertising on our Facebook page.
I don’t see kids mowing lawns for hire, but maybe I’m missing it. I usually see landscaping service companies do that. When my 6 year old gets a bit older, he will, indeed, he mowing our lawn.
The kids around the corner from us have affluent parents and the word is parents. They parented their children. All of their children had to participate in sports and all of them had to have a job.
When they were 11 or 12 we hired them to do light cleaning around our house, clean the base boards, sweep of the decks. We always overpaid them. They mowed lawns, babysat and when they were by law eligible to work, they waited tables.
They three oldest all graduated Summa cum laude and the youngest is in his junior year at college.
The operative word here is parenting and providing a safe, stable home life.
Many parents get shamed if they allow their teens to do the tasks you describe. "You let your 15 year old mow lawns?!? Don't you think that is dangerous?" You let your teen babysit?!? That is a big risk; something could happen and she won't handle it correctly. And the parents of the children she is babysitting aren't concerned? Sounds like bad parenting on both of your parts." "You allow your teen to work during the school year?!? What about homework; how does she find time to get it done?" And on and on.
Parenting is hard and I’m far from a perfect parent. One of the toughest parts is to fight against this culture that we read about on Common Sense. And we all know kids who turned out bad despite good parenting.
Kids do still work. My 14-yo got a summer job as camp counselor and she sells clothing online. To someone else’s point we never hear of the kids who are hardworking.
We simply don't prepare our kids in their teens, to be adults. We avoid that part of parenting and assume that college, or someone else, will do it. 25 is the new 15.
I did a little "Dad's investing course" for my two sons - complete with lectures. The two flip charts that seemed to have the most effect were the "Future Earnings Potential" and the
"Compounding" chart. The first simply plots age against future earnings available to you. Of course, your working life starts out at the maximum, since all your work life is ahead of you. As you age, it goes down and down and down, until about 65-70 it goes very close to zero. At that point you likely have a lot of life ahead and NO potential to make money, so if you didn't put any retirement, it's cat food for you.
The second chart is of course an exponential curve, which goes as: A = pe^(rt), where A = amount at the end, p = principal, e = magic number, 2.718281828... r and t are rate and time. We all know that rate and time are in the exponent, so a tiny improvement in either one gives vastly better money at the end, but the takeaway lesson is that the same magic formula that makes you rich also makes the banker from whom you borrowed rich too - on your back. So use credit very wisely and very little. I've never seen a banker or a broker with a smaller house than his client.
In the summer after high school I worked inside the coal mines to put away money for the fall college term. There I met a seventeen-year-old man - not a boy by any stretch, a man - who had got his girlfriend pregnant, married her, and immediately went into the mines to earn a living for them. I don't remember his name, only that at seventeen he was so much more mature than I was - a maturity level I never reached until my thirties. Somehow we have to reverse the prolonged adolescence that is the modern college man and woman. A nation IS its citizens, and we are turning ours into bowls of jelly.
I’m visualizing Zoolander thinking he has black lung after working in the coal mine for one day. 🤣
God. When I came out of the mine after my first day, I was SOOOOOO proud that I could blow black snot out of my nose. Made me feel like a man. LOL Like everyone is saying here, young people can be so stupid.....
I worked in restaurant kitchens. Nothing like good hard manual labor to make you realize how much a degree can be worth.
Ditto! I worked in a Pepperidge Farm factory on an assembly line - think "I love Lucy" but without the laughs! I did get to eat the food but MAN, was that a good reminder that I needed a college degree!
HT to you. That - and working for a moving company - have got to be the two worst jobs on the planet.
What I learned from this article was the amazing amount of kids with mental health problems. What have we done as a society to create a cohort of youngsters who can't function without the supervision of mommy? This is what we have to deal with as a society today. Maybe the flood of illegals at our border is not a bad thing as they will add some backbone to an over protected generation.
I suspect social media plays a significant role. Imagine where we’ll be in another generation as virtual reality begins to supplant real, direct experiences.
While my kids are now successful adults, I sometimes wonder whether less access to smartphones would have "improved them" even more.
I do think the instant attention that is conjured by smartphones is a real disaster to development and maturation.
Less the lack of supervision from mommy than the lack of mental toughness and discipline from daddy, IMO.
That is now known as toxic masculinity.
This is bullshit, I went to college had challenges , went to a professor for assistance when having a hard time in chemistry and he looked at my grades and said "yep, you are having trouble " that was it. A counselor told me if you need a swift kick in the ass you can come and see me. I busted my ass , and finished college because I wanted to succeed. Then I went to med school in a foreign country and busted my ass again and succeeded. A bunch of pussies we are raising who can't , hunker down and just do it. Time passes anyway, the only thing to battle is the books and some ups and downs of relationships. Weak , Weak ,Weak people . I was taught not to feel sorry for myself . Don't feel sorry for yourself , have a Gil and just study, study, study . We are turning into amoebas .
As my dad would say, "A boot in the ass is the poor man's psychiatrist"
I’ve concluded that secularization is really the prime mover in our descent to jellydom. Materialism, especially in the globalized internet age, is a highway to despair. Why bother going through the pain and effort of becoming a responsible adult when your reward is a life of insatiable status anxiety? Young people are opting out of “real life” because we haven’t given them a reason to really live.
Incidentally, this is precisely the message that Jordan Peterson delivers in his “rules for life” and it’s no wonder he’s so popular among young adult men.
You don't need the promise and reward of an afterlife in order to have a reason to live, that's just silly. Responsibility, and morality itself for that matter, exist completely independent of religion. They are universal human attributes, not divine gifts bestowed by a higher power.
Besides, life itself is reason enough to live a noble and fulfilling existence. If anything, our mortality only serves to make our short time here more precious, not less.
Young people are not 'opting out of of real life' because they are godless heathens, there's all sorts of reasons for that: lower standard of living, bleak environmental future, the primacy of social media, lazy parenting...the list goes on and on. Sure religious participation is at an all-time low, but there are oodles of things changing right now from a few decades ago. Correlation is not causation.
Regardless, I would vehemently argue you don't need faith to have purpose in life.
It’s ironic he mentions Jordan Peterson, who often uses the Christian Bible to support his ideas, but ultimately does not believe the myths himself. Whatever god Peterson believes in, it isn’t Jehovah.
Immaturity is the word. I know exactly what you are saying. I was just an immature, irresponsible kid when I went to college. In the middle of my junior year, I walked away from my classes.
I tried to get a job but had no skills so I joined the Army. I saved my money and when I was discharged went back to school and because I had walked away without dropping my classes, I was 13 grade points down. That gave me incentive to actually study and I pulled myself out of the grade point hole in my first semester.
I was still an immature jerk but at least in this area, schooling, I had purpose and drive. I had a goal and I pursued it.
Not all of us are wired the same way. I was a shiftless, lazy immature nitwit. Sure, some of the students have mental challenges but I believe, and that is just my opinion, most of the washouts to be like I was, immature and directionless.
The author of the article, to me, lays the blame on the universities for student failure. It sounded like the same song. Everybody is a victim Nobody is at fault for bad behavior. It's the institution's fault not the student. I'm sure the schools could to more to council these kids but I wasn't a victim. I was a jerk.
is every kid autistic now. on medication. seems that way. we have a "spectrum" every kid is on it somewhere
I predict an explosion of autism due to the masking of very impressionable, very young children.
I actually got the impression that the author was trying to say that parents are responsible to prepare their children for college and shouldn't expect universities to be babysitters.
Actually I disagree. I think the article very much puts the blame on kids and parents, which is where it should be.
Me too
You're right, it did ay the blame on parents and students, but also schools that oversell their ability to "manage" the students. Overall, I thought it was a balanced article that affixed blame to everyone responsible for the failure of students.
I didn't read the article that way. The author talks about more support staff and counseling. If you read leftist articles the solution to bad behavior is counseling. Nobody is responsible for their behavior because everybody is a victim and counseling is the solution.
That's it. The far left, which is now the left, wants to take everything out of, and away from, the home. The kids belong to them.
“The education of all children from the moment that they can get along without their mother’s care shall be in state institutions” -Karl Marx
I was born in 1956.
As a kid, I walked a mile to and from school, and was outside with my friends until my curfew, which was frequently after dark). I lived in an upper middle class/affluent neighborhood. Life still had it's traumas, but you were expected to deal with them.
When I was fourteen, I was competing with other kids my age to mow lawns in the summer, and shovel driveways (Michigan) in the winter. My first paycheck came from working as a caddie. At sixteen, I started bussing tables, and worked various restaurant jobs through college.
I now live in a similar neighborhood, and never see kids working around the neighborhood, or playing, as far as that goes. I don't see them working in restaurants, or other small businesses much, and wonder how they spend their days.
It was my generation that started this downward spiral into prolonged adolescence. My kids, born in the early 80s, were at the beginning of the 'everybody gets a trophy, nobody's feelings should ever be hurt, or feel ashamed' generation. As a parent, even though I knew this was ridiculous, we were constantly fighting this mindset that was being promoted at the public schools, and local 'mom' culture.
You shouldn't get a trophy if you don't deserve it.
Getting your feelings hurt is part of learning how to cope as an adult
Shame is a way of telling you that you've made bad decisions
I'm not sure there's anyway to get our society back to what it was. I don't blame the moms as much as the genetic need to nurture and protect children is very strong, but the fathers seem to have abdicated their role in telling kids to get out of the house, don't cry unless you're bleeding, it's time to get a job, you're eating too much, etc.
Being a parent is hard, and 30-40 years ago, parents decided it was more than they wanted to do, so they avoided the hard parts. This is where it took us.
And, my grandparents and parent said my generation had it too soft.
I just realized I may have been channeling Dana Carvey.....'And we LIKED it'
Parents now seem to want to be friends with their kids and not parents.
Ha! I was born in 1960 and had my kids late in life. Many of the parents that had kids in my youngest’s classes are 10-15 yrs younger than me. I used to be appalled at how these Moms knew every detail of every piece of homework & test the kids had to take. They micromanaged every move their kids made. Helicopter parents. Sometimes I’d start to doubt myself because I told my kids that their schoolwork was their job to keep track of, not mine. I was about the only one. The youngest is now a sophomore at an out of state college. The societal influences of “taking care of your mental health” (ie: stay in bed and skip class if you’re having a bad day)derailed her a bit in the second semester last year, but hopefully she stays on track this year.
Yup. Never got involved in homework. She figured it out, Googled it, or asked a friend for help, if needed.
On February 8, 1922, a newspaper published in Massillon, Ohio mentioned the term participation trophy, so it would appear this harmful act has been around for a while, but alas, down through history, adults have always lamented about the youth. But here are the implications of participation trophies:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NWv1VdDeoRY
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TTXrV0_3UjY
Carol Dweck . She should be the Secretary of Education )Assuming we can't rid America of that department).
Ohio here, I live in Wooster!
I have a theory on that. (I have a theory on everything.) Throughout history, men traditionally built the material world; women built every man and woman in it. That's changed now - in large part due to the need for both partners to work - one full-time, often a second part-time job. The partner then works, at a minimum, part-time, sometimes full-time. So who's raising the children? Third parties - nannies, babysitters, daycare, government schools.
Or nobody. Who teaches little boys to be men? Nobody. Who teaches little girls to be women? Ditto. Who is on watch when gub'ment schools fill their little heads with Critical Race Theory, Social Justice Warrioring, community organizing, and that Madison and Jefferson were, first and foremost, slaveholders? Nobody. Nobody is watching the third parties. Nobody has the time. I see a glimmer here and there suggesting that may be changing. Sure hope so.
And then we started medicating when they got too annoying.
So much to discuss here! I completely agree. Believe me when I say my opinion is quite unpopular with many women, but why are you even having children if you are going to drop off an 8 week old, 10 hours per day, at a daycare center, while you go to work? I stayed home with my daughter until she was 2 and 1/2 yrs old. Was it hard financially? You bet. Was it ultimately worth it? Absolutely!
This is the reason why I am for the child tax credit for stay at home parents in lieu of subsidizing childcare/pre-K. $500 per child can be life changing for a family. Families can then decide if they want one parent home. Like you, I stayed home when my kids were young. I was making more $$ than my spouse at the time I left work. It was incredibly hard in the early years for so many reasons including financial, but I wouldn't trade it for anything. Subsidizing childcare is only going to make it more expensive than it already is.
"Subsidizing childcare is only going to make it more expensive than it already is."
Obviously, you paid attention during Econ classes. Too bad moe Americans seem unable to grasp this "there is no free lunch" principle.
My dad was born in 1956. He built the house I grew up in on land he bought soon after he graduated high school because he'd been working and saving for years by the time he was in his early 20s. He started building the house right after he was laid off due to the recession in the early 80s. He did everything--plumbing, electric, you name it. He still cuts and gathers firewood every year to heat that house, still does small building projects around his land. His truck needed a new bed recently. Instead of spending a bunch of money on a used one, he welded another bed for himself. Every car we had (not many), we drove until it was on the verge of 300,000 miles because he would just keep fixing it. He taught my sister and I how to change tires, change the oil, file saws, how to take care of machinery, sharpen mower blades, how and when to rototill, plant green manure, dress a deer, the names of the trees in our woods, etc., etc. Now, in retirement, he spends his time building engines from scratch and putting together old cars, loading his own bullets, reading reading reading, walking in the woods. He would help me with my trigonometry and calculus homework when I was in school, gives me suggestions on books nowadays. He worked at a factory for around 40 years, something he didn't like but did anyway to make ends meet, never went to college, never owned a cell phone, but is completely content. He is, quite literally, my hero (my mom's pretty amazing, too). I think a lot of people are not so lucky to have such role models anymore.
This piece to me connects to Shrier's recent article in which she interviews Leonard Sax. I went to the library and got a few of his books after reading that yesterday. I finished The Collapse of Parenting last night, which pretty much sums up the current situation. One of the biggest things I took away was that parents used to be both strict and loving; now, they think they have to be one or the other. Guess which one most choose?
There is no such thing as unconditional love.
You've obviously never owned a dachshund. If you're ever passing through Iowa I'd be happy to introduce you to Walter and Teddy. They'll change your opinion.
You obviously do not own a dog.
What a wonderful legacy your parents have given you. I was blessed to read this.
Just...and what is it that we keep hearing "control of my body", while giving NO support for the body in the womb? split. I am fine with "it is your decision"...result is?
Say it louder for the people in the back!
yep!
Yes. I’m your age. Too many parents are out-sourcing parenting to schools and park districts. They only want the nice parts of “parenting”. They are surprised that they don’t know their adolescent kids. Well, duh.
And it gets worse with each half generation. I’ve told my kids I fear the schools will turn my grandchildren into people I loathe, and who loathe me (and their parents.)
Most teachers and social workers don’t see it. They can’t. They’re swimming in it.
They are swimming in it. I have two friends whose wives are counselors that view everyone as damaged. As noted in the column, they work from the perspective that something has caused you trauma and you just don't know it yet.
Oh they're not counselors, they are drug dealers. All of them. The more they fuck those children, the more money they make.
Indeed: https://www.nytimes.com/2022/08/27/health/teens-psychiatric-drugs.html
I am a social worker in a high school and I refuse to raise our kids this way. I am unpopular with staff and occasionally with students sometimes, because while I am empathetic and cognizant of how life experiences impact kids, I DO.NOT coddle them! This is a major disservice to them and the county...I am tired of watching it.
Not all school staff are crippling kids.
"I DO.NOT coddle them!"!
Those are words that should be required daily chanting by parents once their kids reach age 6 - you know, 1st Grade.
Tom...oh, i like that. thanks.
Do teenage girls even babysit anymore? I started at 50 cents an hour and worked up to 1.50. Had a nice little business of referrals going. Saved for the clothes I wanted since money was tight at home.
As soon as my kid turned 16 he had to have a summer job. Bagging groceries was the first one.
What happened?
Covid. Everything was shut down and they had to isolate. They were helping their younger brothers and sisters and everyone was online. Only part of the story, but still pretty significant for most kids for a couple years.
This is what happened:
Girl falsely accuses teacher. She gets fired. Charges all dropped because they were false from beginning to end. Teacher without job at school she loved.
ZERO, zip, zilch, NADA CONSEQUENCES for girl.
https://www.dailywire.com/news/a-student-claimed-a-teacher-slapped-her-prompting-an-arrest-the-teacher-was-just-vindicated
The inmates are running the asylum expression has never been more true
TY. Yes, true. *So* true.
Worst part is it's in so *many* areas these days. All levels of education. Gov. Businesses. The list goes on like the Energizer Bunny.
Check the demographics for the school. Dollars to donuts there is a racial aspect to this episode. Sad to say, but ted's the facts.
TYTY. You make an interesting point. Likely correct, but article didn't (or wouldn't) say.
Mine did and still do! Both started babysitting at around 13. Now 19 & 23 and even the 23 yr old will babysit at night & on weekends sometimes for extra money. (She has a full time job)
We have 87 houses in our neighborhood. We have a pretty good supply of babysitters and house sitters and kids advertising on our Facebook page.
I don’t see kids mowing lawns for hire, but maybe I’m missing it. I usually see landscaping service companies do that. When my 6 year old gets a bit older, he will, indeed, he mowing our lawn.
baby sitting. oh no. too scary for sexual harassment
The kids around the corner from us have affluent parents and the word is parents. They parented their children. All of their children had to participate in sports and all of them had to have a job.
When they were 11 or 12 we hired them to do light cleaning around our house, clean the base boards, sweep of the decks. We always overpaid them. They mowed lawns, babysat and when they were by law eligible to work, they waited tables.
They three oldest all graduated Summa cum laude and the youngest is in his junior year at college.
The operative word here is parenting and providing a safe, stable home life.
Many parents get shamed if they allow their teens to do the tasks you describe. "You let your 15 year old mow lawns?!? Don't you think that is dangerous?" You let your teen babysit?!? That is a big risk; something could happen and she won't handle it correctly. And the parents of the children she is babysitting aren't concerned? Sounds like bad parenting on both of your parts." "You allow your teen to work during the school year?!? What about homework; how does she find time to get it done?" And on and on.
Parenting is hard and I’m far from a perfect parent. One of the toughest parts is to fight against this culture that we read about on Common Sense. And we all know kids who turned out bad despite good parenting.
Kids do still work. My 14-yo got a summer job as camp counselor and she sells clothing online. To someone else’s point we never hear of the kids who are hardworking.
Neighbor boy mows my lawn. His father pushed him into it but that's what fathers do. I needed help and when he got the first cash, he was into it.
Good on you! Nice to know it still happens.
You don't hear about them because they're an endangered species, and it's rare you get a glimpse of them. :)
And a lot of kids applied, too, so that’s a good sign. :)
To a large extent, prosperity happened.
Long story. (And I'm taking a break, so...)
Affluenza?
We simply don't prepare our kids in their teens, to be adults. We avoid that part of parenting and assume that college, or someone else, will do it. 25 is the new 15.
I did a little "Dad's investing course" for my two sons - complete with lectures. The two flip charts that seemed to have the most effect were the "Future Earnings Potential" and the
"Compounding" chart. The first simply plots age against future earnings available to you. Of course, your working life starts out at the maximum, since all your work life is ahead of you. As you age, it goes down and down and down, until about 65-70 it goes very close to zero. At that point you likely have a lot of life ahead and NO potential to make money, so if you didn't put any retirement, it's cat food for you.
The second chart is of course an exponential curve, which goes as: A = pe^(rt), where A = amount at the end, p = principal, e = magic number, 2.718281828... r and t are rate and time. We all know that rate and time are in the exponent, so a tiny improvement in either one gives vastly better money at the end, but the takeaway lesson is that the same magic formula that makes you rich also makes the banker from whom you borrowed rich too - on your back. So use credit very wisely and very little. I've never seen a banker or a broker with a smaller house than his client.