Welcome back. Too many announcements lately. How about some peace and quiet for a change? Let’s get to the news.
→ Shutdown mushdown: This is the quietest federal shutdown we’ve ever had. Normally, aren’t there more stories, a little more panic? Where’s the 5,000-word feature about the Finnish family who wanted to see the Washington Monument? Maybe we stopped caring since our military is now being paid for by private donors, which I think makes it a private security group—thank you to “reclusive megadonor” Timothy Mellon for spending $130 million to hire the U.S. Army. My guess is there will be a flyby at his grandchildren’s birthday parties forever. The American Federation of Government Employees, our largest federal employee union, is calling on Democrats to give in and give up. “Both political parties have made their point, and still there is no clear end in sight,” the union’s president said in a statement. “No half measures, and no gamesmanship.” The union is trying not to say Democrats but the premise of the letter is: Time to give up, guys. Probably is. Insurance premiums are just egregious forever. Let’s move on, say the unions.
Meanwhile, Trump seems very, very busy during all this. Our pettiest president has updated the White House “About” page to include a “Democrats Have Shut Down the Government for: 30d 7h 2m 32s” animated countdown. Also, the only Major Events regarding the building in Joseph R. Biden’s era is a picture of Biden’s son Hunter in a bathtub with the headline “Cocaine Discovered” and of a flasher at the Trans Day of Visibility, surely among the most consequential moments of the past five years. Trump is, as I always say, our first gay president. And I mean that in the judgmental and angry way that a middle-aged lesbian looking at gay male culture feels. They’re simply out of control and must be stopped:
