Welcome back to TGIF, where I take you on a tour of the various fires engulfing the world. World War III: Ayatollah’s Revenge meant our vacation was canceled, and also that I haven’t seen my family in years. I just slide individual french fries under Bar’s door, and sometimes a vitamin. Sometimes she’s working, but all the time she is Monitoring the Situation.
TGIF is brought to you by a team today. I don’t really deserve a byline, but of course I’ll take it, thank you. This week was all Will Rahn, Sean Fischer, and Suzy Weiss. Stop asking for recognition, back to writing, boys.
→ IRAN! The neocons (my father, your father, every father, legally) are winning this week as President Donald J. Trump supports Israel’s bombing of Iran. The song of the week goes “Bomb, Bomb, Bomb, Bomb, Bomb Iran.” Trump keeps slipping into “we,” periodically, to describe things that ostensibly only Israel is doing, as in “We now have complete and total control of the skies over Iran.” Now we just wait to see if an American bunker-buster bomb gets dropped on Iran’s Fordow nuclear facility, which is buried deep inside a mountain.
It’s a real war this time—as opposed to last April when Iran sort of lobbed some missiles and gave a ceremonial “Death to the little Satan” or whatever. This time around Iran bombed a random Israeli hospital and got a few hits in Israeli cities. Israel has been bombing Iran’s nuclear reactors as well as hitting Iranian state TV during a live broadcast and then hacking the channel to spread footage of Woman, Life, Freedom protests.
Meanwhile, in the U.S. of A., Whoopi Goldberg says that being black in America is worse than being a woman in Iran. Here was The View co-host Alyssa Farah Griffin: “I think it’s very different to live in the United States in 2025 than it is to live in Iran.” Whoopi retorted: “Not if you’re black.” Alyssa, have you possibly considered sitting your ass down and letting Whoopi speak her truth? The only place worse than Iran to be a woman might well be the panel on The View. I’ll take the veil over fighting with Joy Behar about DEI any day of the week.