Welcome back to America’s least funny news roundup. Tickets to the Free Press comedy show (with actually funny people) sold out fast, so for those writing to me: We will host more! Also, if you haven’t been following Arthur Brooks’ new column here called The Pursuit of Happiness, you really should. I love him. Lastly, thank you for all the slow cooker recipes—I’m working my way through. Happy to report that we made short ribs and they’re phenomenal.
→ No one’s popular anymore: I’m not popular, you’re not popular, neither party is popular. The Democrats have been handed Donald Trump—who spends his days shaking people down, flipping off factory workers, spinning meme coins, and embossing things in gold, like citizenships—and they still have no idea how to win over America. It’s a mystery. Democrats are still putting their political capital behind. . . wait for it. . . arguing that there are no biological differences between men and women in sports (Ketanji Brown Jackson putting up the good fight this week! Like a Japanese soldier who doesn’t know the war is over.) Here’s the latest from RealClearPolling:
Funny how even after every media company of polite society in America has spent 10 years telling people Republicans are devils, devils we say!, Americans still like Republicans more. Much to mull there. It’s almost as though the mainstream media has lost credibility? Like we’ve fractured into two completely separate information bubbles that no longer intersect at all and someone should do something about that? Ah, reporters are hitting me with brooms. Fine, fine, it is the American people who have lost credibility! From now on every story will be simple. Headline: Trump bad. Story: Trump bad. That will do it.
→ This is dark power: France delayed the G7 Summit—that noble gathering of the seven strongest world leaders, now in its 52nd year—because the White House is double-booked. They’re doing a birthday party for Trump around then. It’s cage fighting! MMA, guys. America is so powerful on the world stage right now that we can literally postpone the G7 Summit because it conflicts with a cage fight we wanted to plan that week. Désolée. Aw, don’t plan it around us. . . just do it without us. You don’t want to? Oh, okay! We’ll send some dates that work for us. How’s October looking?
