I think children can remind us of somethings we already know. I very much dislike the notion of “learning from our children.” Unless my son grows up to be a carpenter and is showing me how to lay kitchen tile. I think the older and wiser surrendering the mantle is how a generation of kids came home from college with a head full of marxism and gender theory. Then had it go unchecked by their parents. The damage has been massive.
I thought that when I read TFP description but was very pleasantly surprised thst was not meant literally. More of an observe and live in harmony thing I think.
I think young minds uncluttered by culture war nonesense may have insights that are truly worthwhile, but rarely. I mostly agree with you and often snort (in my head) when listening to someone preach about “listening to the children.”
“But children are dumb and inexperienced,” I think to myself.
They may be inexperienced but they pay attention to everything they see the adults doing. If you want to know if a family is dysfunctional or abusive, look at the kids.
I thought the village was raising the kids. But as has ever been the case lots of folks standing around like vultures ready to blame the parents, especially moms.
Parents are the reason why I don’t see children as clients. Try telling a parent they need to alter their parenting because they have poor boundaries, or their clinging or anxiety is what’s causing anxiety in their kids, and see how that goes.
You learn most
of your relational dynamics from your parents, how they treat each other, and others. Parents do their best but man can they muddle things up.
I agree, David. What has happened to the children in our country? I can’t believe we payed ( for college ) for someone to undermine all our love, hard work, and support given to our children.
I understand your concerns as a member of the Jewish community. The current situation is indeed alarming. It raises the question of how to effectively reeducate and shape the mindset of an entire generation.
It appears that your child is being strongly influenced at a vulnerable age due to their involvement in this ideological movement. It might be worth considering removing your child from this environment as a potential solution.
While I am Agnostic, I found this Biblical passage come to mind: In that hour came the disciples unto Jesus, saying, Who then is greatest in the kingdom of heaven? And he called to him a little child, and set him in the midst of them, and said, Verily I say unto you, Except ye turn, and become as little children, ye shall in no wise enter into the kingdom of heaven.
As an aside, I found a real connection to this essay and felt its beauty while reading it aloud to my wife.
Interesting take. As a mom of four kids in the thick of this phase of life, I often don’t slow down and enjoy my children or really see them. There is a lot of rushing around. That’s what I took from this article. I think having the humility to learn from my children as I strive to teach them truth in a world that twists everything is helpful. I don’t believe this life is the beginning of our existence and so I do believe my children sometimes have access to wisdom that I may have forgotten. And sometimes they’re just acting like brats.
The best thing about Bari's challenge was that it forced 400+ of us to take a look back at our lives in a different way, slowing down and watching the bees.
Bari asked: "This October, we asked readers aged 70 and up to tell us a story about an event that shaped their lives and helped bring them wisdom or a fresh perspective."
Well Bari was wrong, it doesn't work that way, at least not for me and apparently not for Mrs. McCaul. So, if you're expecting these essays to reveal some monumental truth, you will probably be disappointed.
Life experience is an accumulation of events - Wilbur Wright said it best when asked about the invention of the airplane, I'll leave it to the reader to find the whole quote, but here's the important line:
"It was due to a peculiar combination of circumstances which might never occur again."
The accumulation of events and circumstances, some good, some bad, and some awful is what makes the person who they are and impart what little wisdom we accumulate. It's why old men cry when they see good outcomes, because they've seen bad outcomes too. It's why Joan only mentions the loss of her father, because for most of us losing our father is so painful.
It's the discovery that even being a mediocre parent is difficult. That stopping to see the wonder in a child's eyes watching bees is a memorable event that you hold in your heart. That realizing that while children see Everything, they can't interpret it.
It is also why the old people who read her essay won't share the bad outcomes it brings to mind and fight the tears it brings to our eyes.
You need to be a parent to understand the morning grind and see why being reminded to slow down is so very, very important. The next morning you will be back to the grind again, but you'll have that moment in your heart forever.
Thank you Joan, Merry Christmas, Happy New Year and have a blessed day.
Wonderful essay. I spent the bulk of my life as a stressful and demanding physician. I find that I now can just shut my eyes or stare into the outdoors without realizing where the time went. I don't regret having done what I did but I am profoundly grateful that I can experience the more ethereal aspects of life in my advanced years.
This essay brought tears to my eyes. Thank you Joan McCaul and the Free Press for sharing this. Nature is so consoling. I live in the city and miss it so much. But I know I can find it here too. I just have to slow down and notice the little things.
In the chaos of living, it's often difficult to slow down and contemplate the beauty of nature. I understand that her son isn't teaching her something new but is, instead, reminding her of the wonder that children see around them, the wonder she must have felt as a child.
I can see how this essay made the final cut. It is a beautifully and thoughtfully composed piece of prose from beginning to end and wonderfully connected. And of course it resonated personally. Thank you!
I could feel my blood pressure lowering as I read this beautiful, beautiful essay. Thank you, Joan. Many, many blessings to you in the year to come! I plan to share your essay with my friends and family. : )
As a grandmother w/ grandkids similar ages to the author's children at the time of her tale, I can really relate to her story of the transcendence that seeing the world through their fresh eyes brings. Thank you Joan McCaul, for reminding us to take the time to watch the bees!
From the mouths of babes. There is wisdom in nature and there is wisdom in doing the necessary things in life. Many cultures are wise enough to incorporate paying attention to both. I see that as why it is referred to as "the wisdom of the ages". We don't sit at the feet of children to learn, but we do celebrate them and get reminders of the view of innocence and wonder. The advice to "be wise as the serpent and gentle as the dove" comes to mind. Also, to be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to wrath. That is wisdom that encompasses both of the views looked at in this story and the comments. Children aren't wise (IMHO) because wisdom comes with age, but they are still imbued with a proper sense of wonder and simplicity that reminds me of another bit of wisdom; keep it simple Stupid.
These are all mildly interesting and worthy in their own fashion. But I'm a bit distressed that, in their eighth decades, this is the sum total of wisdom and interesting life experiences to be offered. Sorry but I find more depth and meaning in the daily comments. Perhaps the winning essay will offer more?
Miss Joan . . . brilliant! At 71 myself, and being blessed to have grandkids near, I sometimes DO need to be reminded to stop and watch the bees . . . with them.
Thanks for your beautiful work. Jerry, Darden, TN, USA
As someone who is something of a bee-watcher in my fifties, I enjoyed this essay. Made me think about what I’ve learned from my own children. My oldest was a relentless questioner from the get-go. From an early age she would come up with questions I had never considered. Puberty/sex talks were hilarious. It is no surprise to me now that she’s on her way to becoming a scientist. Her endless questions about parenting decisions really forced me to crystallize my own thinking/reasoning. I have become much much better at answering that pesky question, “Why?”, in all areas of my life.
Beautiful reminder to slow things down, whatever your age, and enjoy the wonder of the nature, love and life around us. Thank you!
I think children can remind us of somethings we already know. I very much dislike the notion of “learning from our children.” Unless my son grows up to be a carpenter and is showing me how to lay kitchen tile. I think the older and wiser surrendering the mantle is how a generation of kids came home from college with a head full of marxism and gender theory. Then had it go unchecked by their parents. The damage has been massive.
My two cents: You entirely missed the point of the story. And the whole of life does not exist in politics.
You are probably correct.
I thought that when I read TFP description but was very pleasantly surprised thst was not meant literally. More of an observe and live in harmony thing I think.
I think young minds uncluttered by culture war nonesense may have insights that are truly worthwhile, but rarely. I mostly agree with you and often snort (in my head) when listening to someone preach about “listening to the children.”
“But children are dumb and inexperienced,” I think to myself.
They may be inexperienced but they pay attention to everything they see the adults doing. If you want to know if a family is dysfunctional or abusive, look at the kids.
I thought the village was raising the kids. But as has ever been the case lots of folks standing around like vultures ready to blame the parents, especially moms.
I think social media is raising the kids as it is the new village
Oh no doubt. But parents need to raise their kids.
Agreed, however, the raising must begin from the beginning.
Parents are the reason why I don’t see children as clients. Try telling a parent they need to alter their parenting because they have poor boundaries, or their clinging or anxiety is what’s causing anxiety in their kids, and see how that goes.
You learn most
of your relational dynamics from your parents, how they treat each other, and others. Parents do their best but man can they muddle things up.
it takes a village to blame the mom
Good one!
I agree, David. What has happened to the children in our country? I can’t believe we payed ( for college ) for someone to undermine all our love, hard work, and support given to our children.
What happened to the children in her Australia last month was hear them yelling, "Gas the Jews."
I understand your concerns as a member of the Jewish community. The current situation is indeed alarming. It raises the question of how to effectively reeducate and shape the mindset of an entire generation.
My oldest is in high school and this is a real concern for me. I’ve already seen it a bit in middle school and high school.
It appears that your child is being strongly influenced at a vulnerable age due to their involvement in this ideological movement. It might be worth considering removing your child from this environment as a potential solution.
While I am Agnostic, I found this Biblical passage come to mind: In that hour came the disciples unto Jesus, saying, Who then is greatest in the kingdom of heaven? And he called to him a little child, and set him in the midst of them, and said, Verily I say unto you, Except ye turn, and become as little children, ye shall in no wise enter into the kingdom of heaven.
As an aside, I found a real connection to this essay and felt its beauty while reading it aloud to my wife.
Indeed. We have over-celebrated youth and wonder why children linger in adolescence.
Interesting take. As a mom of four kids in the thick of this phase of life, I often don’t slow down and enjoy my children or really see them. There is a lot of rushing around. That’s what I took from this article. I think having the humility to learn from my children as I strive to teach them truth in a world that twists everything is helpful. I don’t believe this life is the beginning of our existence and so I do believe my children sometimes have access to wisdom that I may have forgotten. And sometimes they’re just acting like brats.
A bit of an Eeyore statement but still with some truth there…
You ALL are what I loved about TFP !
I think this was my favorite of the essays so far. But she’s right. Slow down and watch the bees. Take joy in the little moments when they come.
The best thing about Bari's challenge was that it forced 400+ of us to take a look back at our lives in a different way, slowing down and watching the bees.
Bari asked: "This October, we asked readers aged 70 and up to tell us a story about an event that shaped their lives and helped bring them wisdom or a fresh perspective."
Well Bari was wrong, it doesn't work that way, at least not for me and apparently not for Mrs. McCaul. So, if you're expecting these essays to reveal some monumental truth, you will probably be disappointed.
Life experience is an accumulation of events - Wilbur Wright said it best when asked about the invention of the airplane, I'll leave it to the reader to find the whole quote, but here's the important line:
"It was due to a peculiar combination of circumstances which might never occur again."
The accumulation of events and circumstances, some good, some bad, and some awful is what makes the person who they are and impart what little wisdom we accumulate. It's why old men cry when they see good outcomes, because they've seen bad outcomes too. It's why Joan only mentions the loss of her father, because for most of us losing our father is so painful.
It's the discovery that even being a mediocre parent is difficult. That stopping to see the wonder in a child's eyes watching bees is a memorable event that you hold in your heart. That realizing that while children see Everything, they can't interpret it.
It is also why the old people who read her essay won't share the bad outcomes it brings to mind and fight the tears it brings to our eyes.
You need to be a parent to understand the morning grind and see why being reminded to slow down is so very, very important. The next morning you will be back to the grind again, but you'll have that moment in your heart forever.
Thank you Joan, Merry Christmas, Happy New Year and have a blessed day.
Wonderful essay. I spent the bulk of my life as a stressful and demanding physician. I find that I now can just shut my eyes or stare into the outdoors without realizing where the time went. I don't regret having done what I did but I am profoundly grateful that I can experience the more ethereal aspects of life in my advanced years.
This essay brought tears to my eyes. Thank you Joan McCaul and the Free Press for sharing this. Nature is so consoling. I live in the city and miss it so much. But I know I can find it here too. I just have to slow down and notice the little things.
In the chaos of living, it's often difficult to slow down and contemplate the beauty of nature. I understand that her son isn't teaching her something new but is, instead, reminding her of the wonder that children see around them, the wonder she must have felt as a child.
An Italian song says.... " Too often wisdom is only the most stagnant prudence"
I can see how this essay made the final cut. It is a beautifully and thoughtfully composed piece of prose from beginning to end and wonderfully connected. And of course it resonated personally. Thank you!
I could feel my blood pressure lowering as I read this beautiful, beautiful essay. Thank you, Joan. Many, many blessings to you in the year to come! I plan to share your essay with my friends and family. : )
As a grandmother w/ grandkids similar ages to the author's children at the time of her tale, I can really relate to her story of the transcendence that seeing the world through their fresh eyes brings. Thank you Joan McCaul, for reminding us to take the time to watch the bees!
From the mouths of babes. There is wisdom in nature and there is wisdom in doing the necessary things in life. Many cultures are wise enough to incorporate paying attention to both. I see that as why it is referred to as "the wisdom of the ages". We don't sit at the feet of children to learn, but we do celebrate them and get reminders of the view of innocence and wonder. The advice to "be wise as the serpent and gentle as the dove" comes to mind. Also, to be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to wrath. That is wisdom that encompasses both of the views looked at in this story and the comments. Children aren't wise (IMHO) because wisdom comes with age, but they are still imbued with a proper sense of wonder and simplicity that reminds me of another bit of wisdom; keep it simple Stupid.
Nicely stated.
Very nice story. Slow down and smell the roses.
These are all mildly interesting and worthy in their own fashion. But I'm a bit distressed that, in their eighth decades, this is the sum total of wisdom and interesting life experiences to be offered. Sorry but I find more depth and meaning in the daily comments. Perhaps the winning essay will offer more?
You can listen to the author read it on Honestly. It was released yesterday.
Miss Joan . . . brilliant! At 71 myself, and being blessed to have grandkids near, I sometimes DO need to be reminded to stop and watch the bees . . . with them.
Thanks for your beautiful work. Jerry, Darden, TN, USA
As someone who is something of a bee-watcher in my fifties, I enjoyed this essay. Made me think about what I’ve learned from my own children. My oldest was a relentless questioner from the get-go. From an early age she would come up with questions I had never considered. Puberty/sex talks were hilarious. It is no surprise to me now that she’s on her way to becoming a scientist. Her endless questions about parenting decisions really forced me to crystallize my own thinking/reasoning. I have become much much better at answering that pesky question, “Why?”, in all areas of my life.