It’s our pleasure to welcome you to Tough Love with Abigail Shrier, a brand-new advice column from The Free Press! Every Thursday afternoon, our contributing editor will answer your conundrums, with no hesitation and no sugarcoating—just straight-up Tough Love.
First up: Abigail answers a letter from Nellie Bowles, who you’ll know as the queen of TGIF. It’s Nellie’s job to make fun of the news, but in her letter, she reveals that the state of the world terrifies her—and makes her afraid to put down any roots. “My instinct is to live as lightly as possible so I can be nimble,” Nellie wrote.
Like the best advice, Abigail’s response is reassuring, life-affirming, and brutal all at once. (It includes chestnuts like: “You don’t want to die with your options open.”) Scroll down to read the whole thing—if you’re a paying subscriber. If not, sign up here, you’re not going to want to miss this. —The Editors
Dear Abigail,
I’m finding myself overwhelmed with anxiety about the news—and it’s getting in the way of making decisions. I worry about where things are going. I worry about the various political rages. About the extremes that threaten my nice, peaceful life. Calm, sober people I know are talking about coming up with backup plans. I worry about AI causing widespread psychosis, and I worry about masses of unemployed white-collar workers starting a violent revolution (I’m totally serious). And I’m feeling anxious about making any long-term plans because of it.
My instinct is to live as lightly as possible so I can be nimble. If I’m honest, this has always been a problem of mine to some extent. Like, when we moved to New York, I didn’t want to have to buy furniture and commit to a new place, so we signed onto a two-year furnished sublet. This all has downstream effects: We have a 3-year-old and a 1-year-old. I know stability is essential for them. And if I’m really, really honest, I grew up in a family with some instability, so I worry that I’m re-creating that by refusing to commit to a long-term home.
But I genuinely, in my bones, think chaos is coming. What do I do? How do I build a stable life when I’m convinced we need to be ready to run? —Love, Your Friend in Need, Nellie
