Ok, someone tell me why Abigail Shrier is qualified to give advice. I mean she wrote a few popular books. But why would I want to go to her with any questions about anything?
And Nellie- stop worrying so much and trust your instincts. You love your children more than yourself and that is where you start. Most of the time the experts (including pediatricians) have no idea what they are talking about (believe me, over the years we have worked with enough of them because of our sons' autism to know they really are morons) and simply pull advice out of their tuchases.
The question is not, " is chaos coming" but when will the chaos come because it always does. However know that you have the skills to deal with the chaos and if you don't you will still learn to adapt. If you do not adjust optimally so be it. Adapting is not a contest and you can always make adjustments to your original decisions.
Too late for me. I’m already not a mother and I’m fine with that. I really like a lot of what Abigail writes and I admire her reporting but I fear this is just going to say “Get married and have children” over and over again. That’s not the answer for every single question in life. Please prove me wrong. I want to like this.
I’ve been embracing The Hobbit movies, Lord of the Rings movies, Harry Potter movies, where evil is labeled, people fight back, and it is defeated. I need that in my life right now where half the world can’t even seem to identify who the bad guys are anymore.
Seems like they’re everywhere i look, honestly. The left has the people claiming to be “advocates” siding with terrorism and blaming the “Zionists” for all that’s wrong in the world, the right has actual Nazi ideologists who just blame the Jews outright, no quotation marks or synonyms necessary. I’ve never thought things were as bad as people say, but the world is looking pretty bleak the past 2 years….
Wow Nellie. That's a lot (heart emoji here). If I had gone first, I might have started with something easier like: 'Paper or Plastic?' Thank God we all now have Abigail for sage advice!
I feel torn to give you my answer. Partly, because I think both streams of the diverging river are true. We have fragile kids. They can’t withstand the headwinds of life. Yet, they, like most people, are stronger than they know. However, they are paralyzed with fear That prevents them from experimenting and discovering their stronger than they know. Jonathan Haidt wrote in one of his incredible books that a myth of young people was what doesn’t kill you makes you weaker. I think, emotionally, psychologically, and definitely spiritually, this is very damaging. Not that I would wish hardship, commandment, tragedy, and loss on anybody. But I have to say that it is those events that have caused me to dig down deep and find out what I am truly made of.
“In the best of times, our days are numbered anyway. So it would be a crime against nature for any generation to take the world crisis so solemnly that it put off enjoying those things for which we were designed in the first place: the opportunity to do good work, to enjoy friends, to fall in love, to hit a ball, and to bounce a baby.” -- Alistair Cooke
My advice to Nellie is to stop worrying and live your life the way you want to. Why do neurotic tendencies cluster on the coasts? Nobody I know in my extensive circle of friends in Texas thinks like this...
They have space, and resources to run to when an “event” occurs. City dwellers have to think about how, and if they could leave the city- and the murderous mayhem they’d be in. They can’t garden, hunt, most don’t own a gun or know how to fish. They’re nervous because their location makes them very reliant on an intact society. I think she’s thinking clearly. I would like to not have to shiv someone to get my family clean water…
Because you live in a free State and Nellie lives in an American city about to be conquered by an Islamic wannabe terrorist.
Pretty boy is nothing but a front man for the DSA and they’re expecting him to deliver on his , their radical platform. If Mamdani does a 180 they will destroy him and he knows it. He’s like Putin, they can’t change course because they know they’d be done
I fear many parents, teachers & adults in their lives forget that their most important obligation is to prepare children for the real world.
It is actually cruel to pander, spoil and give in to kids who then have to face realities when the parents will no longer be there to support them in dealing with those realities.
I found the answer in an email subject line: Nelli Bowles gets tough love from Abigail Shrier"
I needed to hear this. I identify with Nellie, and I appreciate Abigail's beautiful reply.
So will she ever respond to the question? Or did I miss that?
I found the answer in an email subject line: Nelli Bowles gets tough love from Abigail Shrier"
Thank you!
Thanks for the ‘like’! Love The Free Press and TGIF. I find both, plus a lot of gratitude, calms the outside noise. Have a peaceful holiday season!
Ok, someone tell me why Abigail Shrier is qualified to give advice. I mean she wrote a few popular books. But why would I want to go to her with any questions about anything?
And Nellie- stop worrying so much and trust your instincts. You love your children more than yourself and that is where you start. Most of the time the experts (including pediatricians) have no idea what they are talking about (believe me, over the years we have worked with enough of them because of our sons' autism to know they really are morons) and simply pull advice out of their tuchases.
Because she’s wiser than 99% of the mental health professionals I worked alongside of for 22 years. I’m including myself.
I think I'll rely on myself or ask other parents/persons in similar situations first.
The question is not, " is chaos coming" but when will the chaos come because it always does. However know that you have the skills to deal with the chaos and if you don't you will still learn to adapt. If you do not adjust optimally so be it. Adapting is not a contest and you can always make adjustments to your original decisions.
Too late for me. I’m already not a mother and I’m fine with that. I really like a lot of what Abigail writes and I admire her reporting but I fear this is just going to say “Get married and have children” over and over again. That’s not the answer for every single question in life. Please prove me wrong. I want to like this.
Too much doom-scrolling. Think of people born 100+ years ago-
WW1-Spanish Flu-Great Depression-WW2-Atomic bomb....and that was only 31 years of their lives. Our lives look pretty good in comparison.
As for children we need to remember GK Chesterton's line:
"Fairy tales do not tell children the dragons exist. Children already know that dragons exist. Fairy tales tell children the dragons can be killed"
Children need to believe that evil can be defeated so they can face the world's evil
We'll need to see the Democratic Party wither away to show that.
I’ve been embracing The Hobbit movies, Lord of the Rings movies, Harry Potter movies, where evil is labeled, people fight back, and it is defeated. I need that in my life right now where half the world can’t even seem to identify who the bad guys are anymore.
They are generally on the left side of the room.
Seems like they’re everywhere i look, honestly. The left has the people claiming to be “advocates” siding with terrorism and blaming the “Zionists” for all that’s wrong in the world, the right has actual Nazi ideologists who just blame the Jews outright, no quotation marks or synonyms necessary. I’ve never thought things were as bad as people say, but the world is looking pretty bleak the past 2 years….
Wow Nellie. That's a lot (heart emoji here). If I had gone first, I might have started with something easier like: 'Paper or Plastic?' Thank God we all now have Abigail for sage advice!
Aluminum ;)
I feel torn to give you my answer. Partly, because I think both streams of the diverging river are true. We have fragile kids. They can’t withstand the headwinds of life. Yet, they, like most people, are stronger than they know. However, they are paralyzed with fear That prevents them from experimenting and discovering their stronger than they know. Jonathan Haidt wrote in one of his incredible books that a myth of young people was what doesn’t kill you makes you weaker. I think, emotionally, psychologically, and definitely spiritually, this is very damaging. Not that I would wish hardship, commandment, tragedy, and loss on anybody. But I have to say that it is those events that have caused me to dig down deep and find out what I am truly made of.
I have forever been an optimist, but the older I get the scarier the world gets. I'm starting to understand how people become preppers.
Nellie:
“In the best of times, our days are numbered anyway. So it would be a crime against nature for any generation to take the world crisis so solemnly that it put off enjoying those things for which we were designed in the first place: the opportunity to do good work, to enjoy friends, to fall in love, to hit a ball, and to bounce a baby.” -- Alistair Cooke
Commit. And enjoy. xoxo ;-)
My advice to Nellie is to stop worrying and live your life the way you want to. Why do neurotic tendencies cluster on the coasts? Nobody I know in my extensive circle of friends in Texas thinks like this...
They have space, and resources to run to when an “event” occurs. City dwellers have to think about how, and if they could leave the city- and the murderous mayhem they’d be in. They can’t garden, hunt, most don’t own a gun or know how to fish. They’re nervous because their location makes them very reliant on an intact society. I think she’s thinking clearly. I would like to not have to shiv someone to get my family clean water…
Because you live in a free State and Nellie lives in an American city about to be conquered by an Islamic wannabe terrorist.
Pretty boy is nothing but a front man for the DSA and they’re expecting him to deliver on his , their radical platform. If Mamdani does a 180 they will destroy him and he knows it. He’s like Putin, they can’t change course because they know they’d be done
Some advice: Disable comments so we can't give advice. This is Abigail's space.
I fear many parents, teachers & adults in their lives forget that their most important obligation is to prepare children for the real world.
It is actually cruel to pander, spoil and give in to kids who then have to face realities when the parents will no longer be there to support them in dealing with those realities.