One drawback… I taught my daughter how to be resilient and self-reliant. Yes, she is tough. Now 21, she complains about how so many of the men she dates are whiny, spoiled, and helpless.
It's possible to teach kids to be self-reliant without putting them in charge of shooting grizzlies for self-defense at the age of 10. To each their own; I neither applaud nor discredit such an approach. Make independent kids - it takes effort but hardly what is implied here.
The point about his wife's supervision causing more injuries simply highlights that there are plenty of risks in the typical lifestyle to steel your children against. Obviously, choking on legos is possible and has happened. Spend more time teaching your kids about risks on the internet and self-discipline on screen time and you'll better prepare them for the future than teaching them to skin caribou will. Free Press - how about publishing something with pragmatic implications for real people rather than this reductio ad absurdum?
I so agree. Kids need to develop a willingness to work and learn put up with difficulty. I helped raise teens & kids in our family who were orphaned or had parents who couldn't care for them so my contribution to their parenting was limited though difficult. But in hindsight, what I'd try to emphasize, cultivate and reward would be: caring for others; willingness (the attitude); practice & tolerance for hard work and for boring, menial work; and doing esteemable acts to gain self esteem--because that's an inside job. Not so important: academic acheivement (beyond literacy and solid basic math) and fretful worry about counseling so they wouldn't end up emotionally crippled or traumatized by their losses. The former makes them stronger and resilient. Too much worry about the latter leaves a tatoo of victimhood.
Compared to young "adults" on campus protesting in favor of Hamas and when asked, "what does river to sea" mean. I don't know, from the Tigris to North of Turkey? I guess it is a miracle they know Turkey exists in that part of the world. Who will do more good or more harm to the world as they grow,, in size for all, in maturity for a few, is not a hard question to answer. I don't like, hate?, the fundamental changes joe has brought to this country. Maybe he should do his job and slow down the death of tens of thousands of children by fentanyl his open border let's, in. And the tragic life he brings to the hundreds of thousand of unaccompanied minors who end up on our border while joe facilitates their transition to the sex slave industry or worse. Yet joe and the Democrats worry about guns and a few deaths to appease their base. Every death is tragic. But the lie of "hands up don't shoot" is the pathetic mantra of the left now. Ban weapons of war. Hint, even Hamas doesn't use the AR15s you find on the streets of this country. I'm not sure we can survive another year of joe. Even a dysfunctional Republican House has done more to stop his anti American agenda whether they are trying to or not. A blessing in disguise. I fear their coming together more than being dysfunctional.
Well done, Steven. Your children will thank you long after you have departed this world.
I’m an old man now. But in the 1950s I was a young boy who worked on the family horse farm with my dad in East Texas. It was hard, dirty, glorious work. What I would not give to be back in that sweltering hot barn, stacking hay up to the rafters so I could bring it back down in the bone-cold winter to feed the horses and cows. So much learned, in so few precious years of childhood.
There's nothing like riding bareback in the middle of a herd of running horses during a Texas sunrise. Early to bed and early to rise really makes a guy enjoy breakfast.
Steven, we need many more parents like you. What you just wrote clearly illustrates many of the principles needed to become a great parent, and I would suggest that they are also very American principles that have made this country great over the centuries - toughness, problem solving, spirit of adventure, hard work, endurance, skill, respect for nature and a willingness to try. Even if someone is not an avid outdoorsman such as yourself, these principles can be applied to parenting. Well done, sir, very well done.
This is incredible advice. Well stated. We are a similar family, but with an added component of training in armed self-protection. I've always told my children that if I leave them with but one skill in their adulthood, I want it to be the assurance that each can and will stop unwarranted violence. Unfortunately, I feel that most of today's parents preach passivism rather than teaching emotional calmness and controlled aggression.
I am not a parent, nor am I familiar with Steven Rinella (sorry). Nevertheless, I really enjoyed this essay, and I believe in its message 100%. I am watching my brother raise his 2 girls (4 and 6) with similar principles, and it gives me so much hope and joy. I have been in executive-level management roles for the past decade and believe that grit is the most determinative skill for individual and team success.
If the means of production, distribution, and finance were to break down on a national or worldwide scale tomorrow due to a natural disaster such as a huge blast of solar radiation, or the acts of a malign group or nation, the vast majority of Americans likely wouldn't survive the first 90 days, but families led by someone with Steve Rinella's skills would hardly skip a beat. We all need to learn those skills.
Jim, I do think about that, a lot. I don’t even know how to can vegetables. We don’t own a gun so could not shoot deer to eat. No clue how to raise chickens…and we do live on 2 acres of land within walking distance of more open woodlands. The family who hunt do not live nearby. We would definitely have problems.
After I moved to rural PA from NYC, I began to view your show to understand the hunting ethos, and what that life was all about. What a pleasure to watch, and you taught me a lot about the outdoors and the people who inhabit it. I have sinced moved back to NYC (rural life is not for me), but you are the real deal and come off like a helluva nice guy. Thanks for being you--and I knew you had Brooklyn roots!
Adventuring like this may be good for kids. But keep in mind that mankind eagerly left the primitive way of life so many find appealing. I grew up in a rural area, with a family culture that lived off the land for generations. We grew vegetables, raised pigs and chickens, milked cows and hunted for deer, rabbits, etc. We carried water, used an outdoor privy, did all that farmwork someone called glorious. Really? We envied the people who had jobs that provided for their needs without having to be “close to nature.” We longed for the day when an easier way of life would be available and never looked back once we achieved it. Please don’t be offended, but I find it funny how those who don’t have to live in primitive conditions think it’s romantic.
Loved this article! Interesting to me, too, is that the “progressive” gals in my BookClub always seem to choose books where the heroine overcomes a really awful and tough childhood - but overcomes and thrives. Yet, they are the most over protective and helicopter parents you could find! Irony for sure. I’m sure they would not love your child-raising philosophy 😂. But I sure do!
My mother, a single parent in the 60’s used to take my brother and me up into the wilds of Maine camping without a tent-just sleeping bags, mosquito netting and our camping equipment. We fished in the morning for breakfasts and hiked to explore the area. Like the author’s kids, I complained, loudly and long, and I’m pretty sure some of the other parents thought she was crazy, abusive, or both. But among my friends and acquaintances, I have always been among the most adventurous and resilient which I credit to my mother’s getting us outside and teaching us about nature. They are qualities that have served me well through many difficult times, not to mention giving me a lasting love of the outdoors.
Loved this piece even if I’m unwilling to implement it with my own kids. Would be open to ideas for teaching toughness that does not involve bears and guns
I don't love bears and guns either:) And I am not a parent -- but I am an aunt, stepparent to an adult child, and godparent to a number of children ranging in age. Volunteer work over the past 10 years also has involved interacting with all types of kids. From what I have observed, children build grit and fortitude when: 1) parents encourage them to solve problems and find solutions on their own, even when they become frustrated; 2) they engage in athletic activities that are critical to learning and developing healthy habits and skills (e.g. my nieces have been rock climbing (safely) and swimming since they were 2, hiking since they were in utero, and skiing since they were 3 - but they are not pushed to compete, just to learn, navigate, and enjoy); and 3) the most well-adjusted kiddos had parents that were not afraid to tell their children no and let them roll with and adapt to the "no." Also, it sounds obvious, but I have observed a notable difference in outcome and behavior between those kids who had to do chores and those who did not. Even when kids come from wealth, chores and contributing to the flow of a household and community seem to be important factors.
A couple of thoughts on teaching toughness. Have them understand no means no. Have them understand that sometimes you have to do the boring stuff to graduate to what isn’t boring (has to pass Spanish in order to take Latin). Help them learn the pleasure of doing well without rewarding them with money (good grades).
Way to go Free Press having Rinella write for you. Finally someone other than an ivy league drone.
Overcoming adversity is how you build self-confidence. Too many parents shelter their children from any kind of risk or challenge. Then they get an unconfident neurotic adult.
Today I have a little bit of a black eye, swollen bridge of my nose, and it hurts to chew. I was boxing yesterday and have a fight coming up.
I tend to put my kids in wrestling and boxing. After eating a punch to the face or getting slammed in wrestling. Well... The idea of micro aggressions just seems stupid.
YES!!! We regularly take our 7 and 9 year olds backpacking and they come alive while we're out there in the wild in a way that happens nowhere else. They push their physical limits without being pestered by us, build so much confidence, and learn teamwork because it requires all 4 of us to make these trips happen. They are never eager to come home, even when we're covered in scrapes and bug bites.
One drawback… I taught my daughter how to be resilient and self-reliant. Yes, she is tough. Now 21, she complains about how so many of the men she dates are whiny, spoiled, and helpless.
…better than you having to sit up all night by the front door, waiting for her to come home safe! 😂
It's possible to teach kids to be self-reliant without putting them in charge of shooting grizzlies for self-defense at the age of 10. To each their own; I neither applaud nor discredit such an approach. Make independent kids - it takes effort but hardly what is implied here.
The point about his wife's supervision causing more injuries simply highlights that there are plenty of risks in the typical lifestyle to steel your children against. Obviously, choking on legos is possible and has happened. Spend more time teaching your kids about risks on the internet and self-discipline on screen time and you'll better prepare them for the future than teaching them to skin caribou will. Free Press - how about publishing something with pragmatic implications for real people rather than this reductio ad absurdum?
I work with a lot of young women. I could say the same for them. We older gals are much more resilient.
I bet you she marries someone you will look upon as a son and may, even remind your family of yourself.
You teach your children to live. That was amazing!
I so agree. Kids need to develop a willingness to work and learn put up with difficulty. I helped raise teens & kids in our family who were orphaned or had parents who couldn't care for them so my contribution to their parenting was limited though difficult. But in hindsight, what I'd try to emphasize, cultivate and reward would be: caring for others; willingness (the attitude); practice & tolerance for hard work and for boring, menial work; and doing esteemable acts to gain self esteem--because that's an inside job. Not so important: academic acheivement (beyond literacy and solid basic math) and fretful worry about counseling so they wouldn't end up emotionally crippled or traumatized by their losses. The former makes them stronger and resilient. Too much worry about the latter leaves a tatoo of victimhood.
Compared to young "adults" on campus protesting in favor of Hamas and when asked, "what does river to sea" mean. I don't know, from the Tigris to North of Turkey? I guess it is a miracle they know Turkey exists in that part of the world. Who will do more good or more harm to the world as they grow,, in size for all, in maturity for a few, is not a hard question to answer. I don't like, hate?, the fundamental changes joe has brought to this country. Maybe he should do his job and slow down the death of tens of thousands of children by fentanyl his open border let's, in. And the tragic life he brings to the hundreds of thousand of unaccompanied minors who end up on our border while joe facilitates their transition to the sex slave industry or worse. Yet joe and the Democrats worry about guns and a few deaths to appease their base. Every death is tragic. But the lie of "hands up don't shoot" is the pathetic mantra of the left now. Ban weapons of war. Hint, even Hamas doesn't use the AR15s you find on the streets of this country. I'm not sure we can survive another year of joe. Even a dysfunctional Republican House has done more to stop his anti American agenda whether they are trying to or not. A blessing in disguise. I fear their coming together more than being dysfunctional.
Well done, Steven. Your children will thank you long after you have departed this world.
I’m an old man now. But in the 1950s I was a young boy who worked on the family horse farm with my dad in East Texas. It was hard, dirty, glorious work. What I would not give to be back in that sweltering hot barn, stacking hay up to the rafters so I could bring it back down in the bone-cold winter to feed the horses and cows. So much learned, in so few precious years of childhood.
There's nothing like riding bareback in the middle of a herd of running horses during a Texas sunrise. Early to bed and early to rise really makes a guy enjoy breakfast.
Steven, we need many more parents like you. What you just wrote clearly illustrates many of the principles needed to become a great parent, and I would suggest that they are also very American principles that have made this country great over the centuries - toughness, problem solving, spirit of adventure, hard work, endurance, skill, respect for nature and a willingness to try. Even if someone is not an avid outdoorsman such as yourself, these principles can be applied to parenting. Well done, sir, very well done.
This is incredible advice. Well stated. We are a similar family, but with an added component of training in armed self-protection. I've always told my children that if I leave them with but one skill in their adulthood, I want it to be the assurance that each can and will stop unwarranted violence. Unfortunately, I feel that most of today's parents preach passivism rather than teaching emotional calmness and controlled aggression.
I am not a parent, nor am I familiar with Steven Rinella (sorry). Nevertheless, I really enjoyed this essay, and I believe in its message 100%. I am watching my brother raise his 2 girls (4 and 6) with similar principles, and it gives me so much hope and joy. I have been in executive-level management roles for the past decade and believe that grit is the most determinative skill for individual and team success.
If the means of production, distribution, and finance were to break down on a national or worldwide scale tomorrow due to a natural disaster such as a huge blast of solar radiation, or the acts of a malign group or nation, the vast majority of Americans likely wouldn't survive the first 90 days, but families led by someone with Steve Rinella's skills would hardly skip a beat. We all need to learn those skills.
Jim, I do think about that, a lot. I don’t even know how to can vegetables. We don’t own a gun so could not shoot deer to eat. No clue how to raise chickens…and we do live on 2 acres of land within walking distance of more open woodlands. The family who hunt do not live nearby. We would definitely have problems.
Steve
After I moved to rural PA from NYC, I began to view your show to understand the hunting ethos, and what that life was all about. What a pleasure to watch, and you taught me a lot about the outdoors and the people who inhabit it. I have sinced moved back to NYC (rural life is not for me), but you are the real deal and come off like a helluva nice guy. Thanks for being you--and I knew you had Brooklyn roots!
Brad
Adventuring like this may be good for kids. But keep in mind that mankind eagerly left the primitive way of life so many find appealing. I grew up in a rural area, with a family culture that lived off the land for generations. We grew vegetables, raised pigs and chickens, milked cows and hunted for deer, rabbits, etc. We carried water, used an outdoor privy, did all that farmwork someone called glorious. Really? We envied the people who had jobs that provided for their needs without having to be “close to nature.” We longed for the day when an easier way of life would be available and never looked back once we achieved it. Please don’t be offended, but I find it funny how those who don’t have to live in primitive conditions think it’s romantic.
Loved this article! Interesting to me, too, is that the “progressive” gals in my BookClub always seem to choose books where the heroine overcomes a really awful and tough childhood - but overcomes and thrives. Yet, they are the most over protective and helicopter parents you could find! Irony for sure. I’m sure they would not love your child-raising philosophy 😂. But I sure do!
Get tough is a GREAT message for kids. I absorbed a bit of that from my Norwegian relatives at age 7.
My mother, a single parent in the 60’s used to take my brother and me up into the wilds of Maine camping without a tent-just sleeping bags, mosquito netting and our camping equipment. We fished in the morning for breakfasts and hiked to explore the area. Like the author’s kids, I complained, loudly and long, and I’m pretty sure some of the other parents thought she was crazy, abusive, or both. But among my friends and acquaintances, I have always been among the most adventurous and resilient which I credit to my mother’s getting us outside and teaching us about nature. They are qualities that have served me well through many difficult times, not to mention giving me a lasting love of the outdoors.
Loved this piece even if I’m unwilling to implement it with my own kids. Would be open to ideas for teaching toughness that does not involve bears and guns
I don't love bears and guns either:) And I am not a parent -- but I am an aunt, stepparent to an adult child, and godparent to a number of children ranging in age. Volunteer work over the past 10 years also has involved interacting with all types of kids. From what I have observed, children build grit and fortitude when: 1) parents encourage them to solve problems and find solutions on their own, even when they become frustrated; 2) they engage in athletic activities that are critical to learning and developing healthy habits and skills (e.g. my nieces have been rock climbing (safely) and swimming since they were 2, hiking since they were in utero, and skiing since they were 3 - but they are not pushed to compete, just to learn, navigate, and enjoy); and 3) the most well-adjusted kiddos had parents that were not afraid to tell their children no and let them roll with and adapt to the "no." Also, it sounds obvious, but I have observed a notable difference in outcome and behavior between those kids who had to do chores and those who did not. Even when kids come from wealth, chores and contributing to the flow of a household and community seem to be important factors.
A couple of thoughts on teaching toughness. Have them understand no means no. Have them understand that sometimes you have to do the boring stuff to graduate to what isn’t boring (has to pass Spanish in order to take Latin). Help them learn the pleasure of doing well without rewarding them with money (good grades).
Sports.
Way to go Free Press having Rinella write for you. Finally someone other than an ivy league drone.
Overcoming adversity is how you build self-confidence. Too many parents shelter their children from any kind of risk or challenge. Then they get an unconfident neurotic adult.
Today I have a little bit of a black eye, swollen bridge of my nose, and it hurts to chew. I was boxing yesterday and have a fight coming up.
I tend to put my kids in wrestling and boxing. After eating a punch to the face or getting slammed in wrestling. Well... The idea of micro aggressions just seems stupid.
YES!!! We regularly take our 7 and 9 year olds backpacking and they come alive while we're out there in the wild in a way that happens nowhere else. They push their physical limits without being pestered by us, build so much confidence, and learn teamwork because it requires all 4 of us to make these trips happen. They are never eager to come home, even when we're covered in scrapes and bug bites.