This was a very hard listen for me, but like Colin mentions, you have to lean into that pain. I lost my mom in 2018, after watching her slowly decline over 20 years from multiple sclerosis, ultimately leaving her completely wheelchair bound. Six months after her passing, my younger sister, 33 at the time, was diagnosed with metastatic me…
This was a very hard listen for me, but like Colin mentions, you have to lean into that pain. I lost my mom in 2018, after watching her slowly decline over 20 years from multiple sclerosis, ultimately leaving her completely wheelchair bound. Six months after her passing, my younger sister, 33 at the time, was diagnosed with metastatic melanoma. Within a year she was gone also. The worst part was that she died in April 2020 when everyone was in true covid lockdowns. We didn't have a funeral for a year and a half. Not gathering for a formal ceremony was extremely hard and only added to our grief and disbelief. I loved the descriptions of the Jewish traditions, which seem so helpful.
But I respectfully disagree with Colin's statement that he doesn't like when people say "everything happens for a reason." No, there is no reason your loved one is dead. Instead, I believe that saying speaks to the reason you are still living. His reason was for him to reach people and help them with their grief through writing his book. His reason is helping foster children find a loving home and a brighter future.
The deaths in my family have inspired me to live more consciously and never take anything for granted. I hug my children tighter. I am focused on our family first when making decisions. I live the cliche phrase "live like you were dying". If today is to be my last day, I know I will made the most of every second up until this point. That's the reason tragedies happen sometimes. To remind us to live.
I respectfully disagree while I like your interpretation of “for a reason”, as a bereaved parent, or Vilomah, hearing that there is an acceptable reason for my child’s death is pure religious conjecture and I don’t like hearing it. My son only lived 16 years...the world was gypped of his contribution, we were gypped of his love ... there is no reason for a drunk and high driver to be behind the wheel...PERIOD.
You're right. While losing a loving parent or sibling can be a profound loss, there is NOTHING like burying a child, whether three, or thirty years old. You never are the same. Ever.
I wholeheartedly agree. No one who has not lost a child could possibly understand. It is literally the worst thing that can happen to you. When I was grieving my child I quickly learned to throw any book written by someone who has not lost a child in the trash. (With the exception of the one by Megan Devine because that one had some very practical advice.) There is a really excellent support group called The Compassionate Friends and I would urge anyone who has lost a child of any age to reach out if they are struggling, no matter how how long it's been.
Megan Divine is wonderful. Her book was my favorite and I recommend it to everyone. She understands that our culture is screwed up when it comes to grief.
This was a very hard listen for me, but like Colin mentions, you have to lean into that pain. I lost my mom in 2018, after watching her slowly decline over 20 years from multiple sclerosis, ultimately leaving her completely wheelchair bound. Six months after her passing, my younger sister, 33 at the time, was diagnosed with metastatic melanoma. Within a year she was gone also. The worst part was that she died in April 2020 when everyone was in true covid lockdowns. We didn't have a funeral for a year and a half. Not gathering for a formal ceremony was extremely hard and only added to our grief and disbelief. I loved the descriptions of the Jewish traditions, which seem so helpful.
But I respectfully disagree with Colin's statement that he doesn't like when people say "everything happens for a reason." No, there is no reason your loved one is dead. Instead, I believe that saying speaks to the reason you are still living. His reason was for him to reach people and help them with their grief through writing his book. His reason is helping foster children find a loving home and a brighter future.
The deaths in my family have inspired me to live more consciously and never take anything for granted. I hug my children tighter. I am focused on our family first when making decisions. I live the cliche phrase "live like you were dying". If today is to be my last day, I know I will made the most of every second up until this point. That's the reason tragedies happen sometimes. To remind us to live.
I respectfully disagree while I like your interpretation of “for a reason”, as a bereaved parent, or Vilomah, hearing that there is an acceptable reason for my child’s death is pure religious conjecture and I don’t like hearing it. My son only lived 16 years...the world was gypped of his contribution, we were gypped of his love ... there is no reason for a drunk and high driver to be behind the wheel...PERIOD.
I’m so sorry. 🌹
You're right. While losing a loving parent or sibling can be a profound loss, there is NOTHING like burying a child, whether three, or thirty years old. You never are the same. Ever.
I wholeheartedly agree. No one who has not lost a child could possibly understand. It is literally the worst thing that can happen to you. When I was grieving my child I quickly learned to throw any book written by someone who has not lost a child in the trash. (With the exception of the one by Megan Devine because that one had some very practical advice.) There is a really excellent support group called The Compassionate Friends and I would urge anyone who has lost a child of any age to reach out if they are struggling, no matter how how long it's been.
Megan Divine is wonderful. Her book was my favorite and I recommend it to everyone. She understands that our culture is screwed up when it comes to grief.
The Compassionate Friends is one of the few places parents who have lost children can talk about that loss and know that the people listening get it.