This was a good podcast and covers a lot that comes up in daily life. Needless to say if someone is coming to therapy feeling hopeless about life is often a component of loneliness. I met my wife on eHarmony and I never had much trouble dating, in adulthood that is, which is strange because I wasn't a very successful guy when I met my wi…
This was a good podcast and covers a lot that comes up in daily life. Needless to say if someone is coming to therapy feeling hopeless about life is often a component of loneliness. I met my wife on eHarmony and I never had much trouble dating, in adulthood that is, which is strange because I wasn't a very successful guy when I met my wife. Although I was just starting out in a career. One thing I notice after having spoken with hundreds of people in therapy that makes me an odd ball is my goal, as a man, was to get married. I was direct about that and had zero interest in casual sex. I think if you’re a man approaching women as group with that attitude it is very well received, but if as a woman you are approaching men as a group with that attitude it is not the same experience.
It also stuck out to me that I talked to everyone. If eHarmony sent me a match I tried to talk to her. I notice a lot of people on dating apps filter people out for superficial reasons. I almost didn't go on a date with my wife. We had been talking and I liked her but some of her photos weren't super flattering. When she brought up meeting in person my thought process was something like "meh, fuck it, i'm not doing anything this weekend anyway." Then when we met I was quite taken with her. During our first date she said something that wasn't quite PC about Mexicans and I fell in love. It wasn't bad, she said in high school there was a soccer team they couldn't beat because everyone on the other team was Mexican, and then this Latina sitting behind her gave her a look. I thought it was amazing.
Helping people find love I think hinges on getting men to stop being superficial about looks and to focus on finding someone to settle down with. Then for women to stop being superficial about a man’s career. Does he hold down a job and make a middle class income? If yes, then what’s the problem if its less than you make.
I liked a lot of what was in this podcast and the Louise speaking against casual sex. Avoiding sex outside of a committed relationship will quickly weed out people who aren't serious about finding love. Is the man who can't wait a couple months to have sex going to be the man that stays faithful when you have cancer later in life and are uninterested in sex during chemotherapy? Is the guy that must have sex now the guy that loves you for you and will face lifes challenges with you? Same goes for men, if your serious about a woman isn't it a good thing that she won't sleep with any random person that she meets? I fail to see how casual sex improves the dating process.
Anyway, thats my essay. I could talk more about masculinity but the monologue is starting to feel a bit well... excessive.
This was a good podcast and covers a lot that comes up in daily life. Needless to say if someone is coming to therapy feeling hopeless about life is often a component of loneliness. I met my wife on eHarmony and I never had much trouble dating, in adulthood that is, which is strange because I wasn't a very successful guy when I met my wife. Although I was just starting out in a career. One thing I notice after having spoken with hundreds of people in therapy that makes me an odd ball is my goal, as a man, was to get married. I was direct about that and had zero interest in casual sex. I think if you’re a man approaching women as group with that attitude it is very well received, but if as a woman you are approaching men as a group with that attitude it is not the same experience.
It also stuck out to me that I talked to everyone. If eHarmony sent me a match I tried to talk to her. I notice a lot of people on dating apps filter people out for superficial reasons. I almost didn't go on a date with my wife. We had been talking and I liked her but some of her photos weren't super flattering. When she brought up meeting in person my thought process was something like "meh, fuck it, i'm not doing anything this weekend anyway." Then when we met I was quite taken with her. During our first date she said something that wasn't quite PC about Mexicans and I fell in love. It wasn't bad, she said in high school there was a soccer team they couldn't beat because everyone on the other team was Mexican, and then this Latina sitting behind her gave her a look. I thought it was amazing.
Helping people find love I think hinges on getting men to stop being superficial about looks and to focus on finding someone to settle down with. Then for women to stop being superficial about a man’s career. Does he hold down a job and make a middle class income? If yes, then what’s the problem if its less than you make.
I liked a lot of what was in this podcast and the Louise speaking against casual sex. Avoiding sex outside of a committed relationship will quickly weed out people who aren't serious about finding love. Is the man who can't wait a couple months to have sex going to be the man that stays faithful when you have cancer later in life and are uninterested in sex during chemotherapy? Is the guy that must have sex now the guy that loves you for you and will face lifes challenges with you? Same goes for men, if your serious about a woman isn't it a good thing that she won't sleep with any random person that she meets? I fail to see how casual sex improves the dating process.
Anyway, thats my essay. I could talk more about masculinity but the monologue is starting to feel a bit well... excessive.