In Defense of the Hot Rabbi

Netflix’s newest chart-topper, Nobody Wants This, is about a gorgeous sex podcaster who falls for a charming rabbi. What’s not to love? Here is a highly accessible story featuring Jews that is not about escaping an insular ultra-Orthodox community to be a fashion mogul, or escaping an insular ultra-Orthodox community to move to Berlin, or even about the Holocaust.

Instead, we get a bright 10-episode season that could appeal to anyone—even if it has touched a few nerves.

The drama comes from the fact that the podcaster, Joanne, played by Kristen Bell, is a shiksa—a non-Jewish woman. It’s based on the life story of its creator, former shiksa Erin Foster (she converted!). In real life, Foster fell for a Jewish entertainment exec; in the show, Joanne gets swept up into L.A.’s Jewish scene through her crackling relationship with Rabbi Noah, played by Adam Brody—to the chagrin of her family, his family, her listeners, and his congregation. Hence the title, Nobody Wants This.

But the pair more or less successfully navigate the differences between their families, friends, and jobs, as well as their hang-ups about dating past 30. Joanne struggles to win over Noah’s immigrant mother (played by Broadway star Tovah Feldshuh), who is determined that her son will marry a Jew, and whom Joanne mistakenly presents with a pork-filled charcuterie board. Noah has to own up to the fact that he’s hiding Joanne from important people in his life, nervous that their relationship will put his promotion to head rabbi of the synagogue in jeopardy. It’s a classic rom-com.

“More often than not, the jokes are at the expense of Joanne,” writes Weiss. (Nobody Wants This via Netflix)

The show had nearly 16 million views by the time it rose to the top of Netflix’s chart, and a second season has just been announced. It’s not hard to see why: The plot moves at a brisk clip, and the dialogue is plugged into the zeitgeist without sounding like it’s written by ChatGPT. Bell and Brody have great chemistry. And perhaps most importantly, Joanne is relatably imperfect.

But not everybody is feeling Nobody. Time,  The New York Times, The Sunday Times, and some Jewish publications have accused the show of dealing in stereotypes, particularly when it comes to the female characters. Esther Zuckerman accused the show of depicting Jewish women as “nags” and “harpies.” Elizabeth Karpen thought the Jewish female characters were “judgmental, needy, and mean-spirited.” Plenty of others lamented the implication that the faultless Rabbi Noah can’t be blamed for reaching for the gorgeous and, importantly, blonde, goddess Joanne.

Except, more often than not, the jokes are at the expense of Joanne. She’s insecure: In one episode, she’s nosy about a box of Noah’s ex’s stuff. In another, she’s turned off by Noah trying too hard to make a good impression on her parents. She can be overeager, sex-obsessed, and reactive—traits that make her human and endearing as a character. They also mean that criticism of the show’s depiction of Jewish women falls flat. In contrast to Joanne, the worst thing about the Jewish women in the show, namely Noah’s sister-in-law Esther (played by Jackie Tohn), is that they are loud and loyal to a fault. To which I say, no comment. 

Besides, the premise of this show isn’t exactly novel, and the fact is about 72 percent of non-Orthodox Jews have married outside the faith since 2010. In the 1920s, there was the film Abie’s Irish Rose, and in the ’70s, a TV series Bridget Loves Bernie—both about Jewish men who fall in love and marry outside the tribe. And then there’s Keeping the Faith, the perfect New York interfaith rom-com from 2000, in which Ed Norton plays a Catholic priest who encourages his best friend, a rabbi played by Ben Stiller, to be with their mutual friend from childhood, a blonde gentile (Jenna Elfman), despite the complications it will bring.

Time, The New York Times, The Sunday Times, and some Jewish publications have accused the show of stereotyping Jewish women. (Nobody Wants This via Netflix)

What’s refreshing about Nobody Wants This is that Noah isn’t looking for an escape valve from his Judaism, or the Jewish women in his life, through Joanne. Noah loves and respects his parents, and relishes his role as a rabbi. He’s a mensch, trying to make it work.

Therein lies the biggest stretch of the show—that Joanne’s family wouldn’t want this. A charming, well-adjusted, well-employed man in Los Angeles in 2024 with no priors who wants to marry your sister? There is no one who wouldn’t be strapping Joanne—who is burnt out by L.A.’s godless dating scene at the beginning of the show—into an Uber and sending her off to Pico-Robertson for a dinner date at a kosher sushi restaurant to seal the deal.

And yes, the show isn’t exactly Talmudic in its Jewish teachings. Judaism is more than bat mitzvah party themes, delis, guilt, and the specter of intermarriage. But it’s a real, fresh comedy that makes Jews out to be funny, normal, and loving. And after the year we’ve had, is it so bad to just unplug and watch a navy yarmulke balance on Adam Brody’s curls during a make-out sesh with Kristen Bell on the streets of L.A.? Isn’t that what we all want? 

Suzy Weiss is a reporter at The Free Press. Read her piece “The Professional Idiots Are in Trouble” and follow her on X @SnoozyWeiss.

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