I think Shane would be better off if he could be happy first with himself. No relationship is going to bring him that which comes from within. If he's looking for a soulmate (which is a totally BS word that someone made up 25 years ago), he would do well to be his own soulmate. No relationship is going to "complete" him.
I think Shane would be better off if he could be happy first with himself. No relationship is going to bring him that which comes from within. If he's looking for a soulmate (which is a totally BS word that someone made up 25 years ago), he would do well to be his own soulmate. No relationship is going to "complete" him.
I would tell Jeff to, yes, do exactly that. Walk up to a strange woman in a grocery store and say "Oh, you're buying bananas too?" He'll know in about three seconds whether she's interested or not. If she's not, and if he has anything approximating what could be described as half a brain, he'll know and take his leave before the concern about creepiness kicks in. I would argue further that the point is the asking, not the getting the date, which is pure gravy. Would his results be any worse? Asking a woman for a date in person is way more riskier than sitting on the couch in one's shorts swiping left. Or is it right? Some young people weren't even allowed the risk of walking three and a half blocks to grade school, so asking a girl out can be pretty scary. I get it.
As to being hurt or getting one's heart broken? What healthy person hasn't had that experience? It's a part of life. So put your big boy pants on and man up:
"Better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all".
I agree, Shane needs to be happy with himself first. I went to Penn State, there are 40,000 kids on campus with plenty of opportunity to find a suitable mate.
Shane needs to get the F off Reddit. Hearing the opinions of thousands of strangers you'll never meet exacerbates insecurities about physical appearance and mistakenly magnifies its importance. Shorter men have been dating and getting married and having children forever. Do they have a harder time? Absolutely. It's one of the few preferences women have that are pretty universal. But as he says, it is what it is and he can't change it, and he is working hard at the gym to be the best version of himself that he can be. In the real world, that has to be enough, and wallowing in Reddit prejudice is shooting yourself in the foot. I know this from personal experience, I did this to myself for 4 years and it did not serve me. Since I quit Reddit at the beginning of this year, my mental health is greatly improved.
Shorter men can ALWAYS find beautiful ladies even shorter… there are ZILLIONS of adorable petite couples. Taller ladies have as hard a time finding someone kind who is also attractive to THEM. Everyone has their own problems…
Actually I think “Jeff” could try practicing first, by walking up to *anyone* and having a pleasant conversation about nothing. So few people can converse with strangers about common banalities anymore. You become a lot more “normal” to attractive people if you are comfortable meeting all types of people.
We’ll said. Just go out into the world and meet other interesting people without any pretense. If one’s underlying motive is to get laid, get a date, or sell Amway products, people usually sense that. Be genuine and just talk to people.
You said it: the MOTIVE is what separates a self-interested creeper from a caring, attractive individual interested in all others, worth smiling back at and getting to know as a person.
I lived in NYC for many, many years. And being a walker in a walking city, I don't think a day or two passed without having a one or two or three minute conversation with a total stranger. One such encounter resulted in four dates. Another resulted in a twelve year monogamous relationship that began in yes, you guessed it, a supermarket.
It’s curious how few GenZs have the skill of ‘small talk’ with the strangers we meet in everyday life. As a member of GenX, it seems the ‘gift of the gab’ is something we all learned quite well. It’s also something that I quite enjoy, and helps to make me feel connected to others.
I think Shane would be better off if he could be happy first with himself. No relationship is going to bring him that which comes from within. If he's looking for a soulmate (which is a totally BS word that someone made up 25 years ago), he would do well to be his own soulmate. No relationship is going to "complete" him.
I would tell Jeff to, yes, do exactly that. Walk up to a strange woman in a grocery store and say "Oh, you're buying bananas too?" He'll know in about three seconds whether she's interested or not. If she's not, and if he has anything approximating what could be described as half a brain, he'll know and take his leave before the concern about creepiness kicks in. I would argue further that the point is the asking, not the getting the date, which is pure gravy. Would his results be any worse? Asking a woman for a date in person is way more riskier than sitting on the couch in one's shorts swiping left. Or is it right? Some young people weren't even allowed the risk of walking three and a half blocks to grade school, so asking a girl out can be pretty scary. I get it.
As to being hurt or getting one's heart broken? What healthy person hasn't had that experience? It's a part of life. So put your big boy pants on and man up:
"Better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all".
I agree, Shane needs to be happy with himself first. I went to Penn State, there are 40,000 kids on campus with plenty of opportunity to find a suitable mate.
Shane needs to get the F off Reddit. Hearing the opinions of thousands of strangers you'll never meet exacerbates insecurities about physical appearance and mistakenly magnifies its importance. Shorter men have been dating and getting married and having children forever. Do they have a harder time? Absolutely. It's one of the few preferences women have that are pretty universal. But as he says, it is what it is and he can't change it, and he is working hard at the gym to be the best version of himself that he can be. In the real world, that has to be enough, and wallowing in Reddit prejudice is shooting yourself in the foot. I know this from personal experience, I did this to myself for 4 years and it did not serve me. Since I quit Reddit at the beginning of this year, my mental health is greatly improved.
Shorter men can ALWAYS find beautiful ladies even shorter… there are ZILLIONS of adorable petite couples. Taller ladies have as hard a time finding someone kind who is also attractive to THEM. Everyone has their own problems…
Yup, kick Reddit to the curb! I’m down to just IG now and couldn’t be happier!
Bravo! Brilliant!
"Jeff" is 5'4 bald, 250 lbs, has been on xxxvideo daily and is looking for a supermodel. I dont think it would work but it's worth a try.
Actually I think “Jeff” could try practicing first, by walking up to *anyone* and having a pleasant conversation about nothing. So few people can converse with strangers about common banalities anymore. You become a lot more “normal” to attractive people if you are comfortable meeting all types of people.
We’ll said. Just go out into the world and meet other interesting people without any pretense. If one’s underlying motive is to get laid, get a date, or sell Amway products, people usually sense that. Be genuine and just talk to people.
You said it: the MOTIVE is what separates a self-interested creeper from a caring, attractive individual interested in all others, worth smiling back at and getting to know as a person.
I lived in NYC for many, many years. And being a walker in a walking city, I don't think a day or two passed without having a one or two or three minute conversation with a total stranger. One such encounter resulted in four dates. Another resulted in a twelve year monogamous relationship that began in yes, you guessed it, a supermarket.
It’s curious how few GenZs have the skill of ‘small talk’ with the strangers we meet in everyday life. As a member of GenX, it seems the ‘gift of the gab’ is something we all learned quite well. It’s also something that I quite enjoy, and helps to make me feel connected to others.