Sad commentary on modern life after the "Sexual Revolution." Women are less satisfied with cohabitation arrangements (POSSLQs, People of Opposite Sexes Sharing Living Quarters, as we used to call them) than men? Well, of course! After all, what legal guarantees does a woman have that her man will be there when she needs him, like to help…
Sad commentary on modern life after the "Sexual Revolution." Women are less satisfied with cohabitation arrangements (POSSLQs, People of Opposite Sexes Sharing Living Quarters, as we used to call them) than men? Well, of course! After all, what legal guarantees does a woman have that her man will be there when she needs him, like to help raise children. I think we can agree that marriage is more about protecting women and children than sex and companionship, and the declining birthrates around the western world may be the result of women losing faith in men and men able to find short term "hook-ups". So glad my wife of 51 years and I grew up in a different, "old fashioned" era. As the wife of a couple who celebrated their 70th wedding anniversary, responded to a reporter's question about whether she had she had ever contemplated divorce, "Divorce? Never. Murder, frequently," the marriage contract once was the glue that maintained families and society at large.
Another feature of those long lasting marriages of years ago were the safety valves that many husbands used, among them brothels, long days at work, interminable nights with the 'boys'- and the wife would know but look away. The marriage needed to remain intact.
James, I am still laughing at what you wrote, specifically the last part. “As the wife of a couple who celebrated their 70th wedding anniversary, responded to a reporter's question about whether she had she had ever contemplated divorce, "Divorce? Never. Murder, frequently," the marriage contract once was the glue that maintained families and society at large.” That kind of humor is missing in our society today. Thank you for giving me a good, deep belly laugh.
I loved this post because people have really have abandoned humor.
My husband of 37 years, when asked how long he has been married will respond “billions and billions of years!”
I find it hysterical because I feel the same way, and have responded to the question in quite the same fashion. Yes, it seems like billions and billions of years. Absolutely. I am so happy to be able to laugh about it with my husband and the difficulties surrounding it. Our love isn’t the same as when we were dating and young. It just happens to be infinitely more deep and more rewarding in ways that people will never understand, especially from today’s youth.
Sometimes I’ll answer the “how long have you been married question” by saying 27 (or whatever is current) years, happily married for three. Sometimes my wife laughs along and sometimes not. It’s those “not” times that scares me!!!
I was thinking that the other day. We see Disney actively taking love stories out of their products, saying that true love is old-fashioned -- the remake of The Little Mermaid has her leaving the water for selfish reasons instead of for love, and the Snow White doesn't have Prince Charming waking up Snow White. Barbie, in her movie, rejects Ken and starts having sex with everyone as soon as she hits the real world. Then you have Mia Khalifa (pornographic actress) talking about her three failed marriages with pride.
The idea of true love is almost all but absent from modern pop culture. You're not supposed to fall in love and live happily ever after. Now I know that's not a realistic thing for... well, anybody. Love takes work. But even in the 2000s, where there was hook-up culture, the idea was there was a light of true love at the end of the tunnel. You'd keep dating until you found the "one" and then hopefully work on that relationship. Now, true love or the idea that there's someone out there for everyone is just seen as backwards.
Two ancient Greek words for love capture those missing ingredients: storge and agape. "Storge" represents the love that we now call "devotion", a love that constantly works for the good of another, e.g. spousal love. "Agape" is the self-sacrificing love found in the Bible as God's love for humanity, but also the kind of love a mother has for her children or a soldier's love for his fellow soldiers. Our modern focus is on a third Greek word for love, "Eros", meaning sexual love, which permeates so much of our entertainment. Marriage and family are based on storge and agape, and marriage and family are the basic building blocks of civilization..
Jesus asked his disciple, do you Love (agape) me. and the disciple answered, yes lord I love, storge you. I think it was Peter. Of course in the end, Peter agaped Jesus.
Sad commentary on modern life after the "Sexual Revolution." Women are less satisfied with cohabitation arrangements (POSSLQs, People of Opposite Sexes Sharing Living Quarters, as we used to call them) than men? Well, of course! After all, what legal guarantees does a woman have that her man will be there when she needs him, like to help raise children. I think we can agree that marriage is more about protecting women and children than sex and companionship, and the declining birthrates around the western world may be the result of women losing faith in men and men able to find short term "hook-ups". So glad my wife of 51 years and I grew up in a different, "old fashioned" era. As the wife of a couple who celebrated their 70th wedding anniversary, responded to a reporter's question about whether she had she had ever contemplated divorce, "Divorce? Never. Murder, frequently," the marriage contract once was the glue that maintained families and society at large.
Great quote..
Another feature of those long lasting marriages of years ago were the safety valves that many husbands used, among them brothels, long days at work, interminable nights with the 'boys'- and the wife would know but look away. The marriage needed to remain intact.
I'm allowed to smoke an occasional cigar (outside) and enjoy an evening dram of Scotch.
My wife likes Scotch as much as I do, so we both have a dram. Cigars, not so much.
And your allowance for her?
:)
I ignore her shopping expenses.😉
Do you enjoy your Scotch looking over the credit card statement?
Seriously, I applaud the arrangement you have with your wife. Whatever works..
Murder is it's own kind of divorce.
Read that last part to my husband of 43 years- LOL!
James, I am still laughing at what you wrote, specifically the last part. “As the wife of a couple who celebrated their 70th wedding anniversary, responded to a reporter's question about whether she had she had ever contemplated divorce, "Divorce? Never. Murder, frequently," the marriage contract once was the glue that maintained families and society at large.” That kind of humor is missing in our society today. Thank you for giving me a good, deep belly laugh.
I loved this post because people have really have abandoned humor.
My husband of 37 years, when asked how long he has been married will respond “billions and billions of years!”
I find it hysterical because I feel the same way, and have responded to the question in quite the same fashion. Yes, it seems like billions and billions of years. Absolutely. I am so happy to be able to laugh about it with my husband and the difficulties surrounding it. Our love isn’t the same as when we were dating and young. It just happens to be infinitely more deep and more rewarding in ways that people will never understand, especially from today’s youth.
Sometimes I’ll answer the “how long have you been married question” by saying 27 (or whatever is current) years, happily married for three. Sometimes my wife laughs along and sometimes not. It’s those “not” times that scares me!!!
Same here, Collette. We're married 43 years. The I'm asked how long I often reply "A long, long time!" and both husband and I laugh!
Commitment and love, that’s what has been lost.
I was thinking that the other day. We see Disney actively taking love stories out of their products, saying that true love is old-fashioned -- the remake of The Little Mermaid has her leaving the water for selfish reasons instead of for love, and the Snow White doesn't have Prince Charming waking up Snow White. Barbie, in her movie, rejects Ken and starts having sex with everyone as soon as she hits the real world. Then you have Mia Khalifa (pornographic actress) talking about her three failed marriages with pride.
The idea of true love is almost all but absent from modern pop culture. You're not supposed to fall in love and live happily ever after. Now I know that's not a realistic thing for... well, anybody. Love takes work. But even in the 2000s, where there was hook-up culture, the idea was there was a light of true love at the end of the tunnel. You'd keep dating until you found the "one" and then hopefully work on that relationship. Now, true love or the idea that there's someone out there for everyone is just seen as backwards.
Two ancient Greek words for love capture those missing ingredients: storge and agape. "Storge" represents the love that we now call "devotion", a love that constantly works for the good of another, e.g. spousal love. "Agape" is the self-sacrificing love found in the Bible as God's love for humanity, but also the kind of love a mother has for her children or a soldier's love for his fellow soldiers. Our modern focus is on a third Greek word for love, "Eros", meaning sexual love, which permeates so much of our entertainment. Marriage and family are based on storge and agape, and marriage and family are the basic building blocks of civilization..
That is a lovely point James.
Jesus asked his disciple, do you Love (agape) me. and the disciple answered, yes lord I love, storge you. I think it was Peter. Of course in the end, Peter agaped Jesus.