Either you can try—fruitlessly, as long as you are in this mortal coil—to eliminate pain, or you can lower your resistance to pain when it inevitably comes, writes Arthur Brooks.
Don't sweat the crap that I have little control over. Far too many folks allow themselves to be drawn into drama that is not their's or out of reach of their influence.
I try to use a form of Victor Frankl’s paradoxical thinking (See “Man’s Search for Meaning”). One example I can give is when I did my lap swim on a very chilly day this week in a less-than-well-heated (outdoor) pool. I got in- dreading the cold- but then told myself that it was a very hot day and the pool water was so refreshing that I wished my swim could go on forever. It worked. I guess you can say that’s “embracing the suck”!
Quit ruminating on the what if. I’m going through a painful unwanted divorce. Sitting in the pain is unbearable, it is suffering. I’ve found that forward motion everyday is my cure. Speaking to God about my future, working out, arranging outings with my friends to get me moving. But, I don’t want to do any of those things. (Watching LOTR over and over is what I’d prefer) I am getting a tiny bit better everyday with movement. This is my current plan until the pain eases up and I can breathe normally again
That formula rings especially true in the case of anxiety. One must let go of the fear of the unknown and deal with things *if* they happen. Might be easier said than done, but a good goal.
Part of this advice for me is feeling the pain or fear , staying with it , acknowledging it then moving through it and letting go . The pain and suffering are acknowledged. The process of letting it go is the work. it’s as the Buddha says invite Mara to tea and befriend her. Feel the pain or fear and don’t be afraid of it.
Your comment reminded me of way, way back when I was a teenager. I had a terrible toothache--really painful. I got prone on my bed, cradled my cheek, closed my eyes and focused on the pain--really focused. The deeper I went into it, the less I could feel it. I've always remembered that when I have had physical pain.
Don't sweat the crap that I have little control over. Far too many folks allow themselves to be drawn into drama that is not their's or out of reach of their influence.
I try to use a form of Victor Frankl’s paradoxical thinking (See “Man’s Search for Meaning”). One example I can give is when I did my lap swim on a very chilly day this week in a less-than-well-heated (outdoor) pool. I got in- dreading the cold- but then told myself that it was a very hot day and the pool water was so refreshing that I wished my swim could go on forever. It worked. I guess you can say that’s “embracing the suck”!
When I was in we used the phrase "embrace the suck." The rain/cold/Gunnery Sergeant will not go away.
“Pain don’t hurt”.
-Dalton from Road House
Quit ruminating on the what if. I’m going through a painful unwanted divorce. Sitting in the pain is unbearable, it is suffering. I’ve found that forward motion everyday is my cure. Speaking to God about my future, working out, arranging outings with my friends to get me moving. But, I don’t want to do any of those things. (Watching LOTR over and over is what I’d prefer) I am getting a tiny bit better everyday with movement. This is my current plan until the pain eases up and I can breathe normally again
The pain of betrayal by the person who vowed to love you until death is crushing. I’m so sorry.
That formula rings especially true in the case of anxiety. One must let go of the fear of the unknown and deal with things *if* they happen. Might be easier said than done, but a good goal.
Wow, a book endorsement from the Dalai Lama! Two kids who are US Marines! Impressive.
My husband, a retired neurosurgeon, had a saying. "Pain in inevitable. Suffering is an option."
when you cease expecting, you have all things.
My wife has a Marine t-shirt that says, "Pain is the weakness leaving your body."
"Accept the things you cannot change" I now recognize as the best advice I never took as a younger man.
I was trying to think of a thoughtless criticism. Maybe next week.
Part of this advice for me is feeling the pain or fear , staying with it , acknowledging it then moving through it and letting go . The pain and suffering are acknowledged. The process of letting it go is the work. it’s as the Buddha says invite Mara to tea and befriend her. Feel the pain or fear and don’t be afraid of it.
Your comment reminded me of way, way back when I was a teenager. I had a terrible toothache--really painful. I got prone on my bed, cradled my cheek, closed my eyes and focused on the pain--really focused. The deeper I went into it, the less I could feel it. I've always remembered that when I have had physical pain.