My friends are dumb and have problems of their own. They don’t substitute as a therapist if one is truly in need of counseling. That would be an example of taking someone hostage to my own drama. How about we focus on rebuilding self agency skills? Remembering where others end and I begin? For all this talk about a generation who only kn…
My friends are dumb and have problems of their own. They don’t substitute as a therapist if one is truly in need of counseling. That would be an example of taking someone hostage to my own drama. How about we focus on rebuilding self agency skills? Remembering where others end and I begin? For all this talk about a generation who only knows or focuses on themselves, they sure seem to have a tough time allowing others to be who they are. And who do we look to for that skills? Certainly not in the more senior humans on these discussion boards - best as I can tell.
Your point about hostagetaking and boundaries is very important. I am sure many people have been at the mercy of a narcissist, who expands their drama infinitely until we are ourselves never heard, but only a fan club for their latest injuries. However, I think there is a very important truth that should be looked at: why when we have a problem must we pay someone to listen to us? What DID happen to grandparents, aunties, doting uncles, confidantes? The statistics on American friendship or dismal. Vast numbers of people have no close friends to call on. The people I know who are the strongest and most resilient have close ties, confidantes, and people they call on whose perspective they trust both to comfort them and to set them on the right path when they make a self-destructive turn.
Here in Seattle therapy starts at about $150 per hour and goes up. This is for 45 minutes, 50 if you are lucky. I personally cannot afford this. When I have tried on occasion to go to my HMO’s co-pay, only people they are half my age, barely out of school and useless to where I am, and who I am. We need to bring back hanging out. We need to bring back long coffees and late night conversations around the kitchen table.
(Sorry for mangled sentences, couldn’t edit after posting.) I want to add that at a different phase of life when I was in my 20s I urgently needed professional therapy and tried to go to friends, but was so confused at what I was going through and so distraught I overburdened friendship and that pushed people away. There are issues like actual) physical and sexual abuse and alcoholism that can definitely benefit from the help of skilled professionals. Children from alcoholic homes or from homes with sexual abuse tend to gravitate towards others, who come from those same backgrounds and have similar wounds. Liz, I agree, confiding in people who are as confused, and who have similarly distorted perspectives, can create even more problems..
My friends are dumb and have problems of their own. They don’t substitute as a therapist if one is truly in need of counseling. That would be an example of taking someone hostage to my own drama. How about we focus on rebuilding self agency skills? Remembering where others end and I begin? For all this talk about a generation who only knows or focuses on themselves, they sure seem to have a tough time allowing others to be who they are. And who do we look to for that skills? Certainly not in the more senior humans on these discussion boards - best as I can tell.
Your point about hostagetaking and boundaries is very important. I am sure many people have been at the mercy of a narcissist, who expands their drama infinitely until we are ourselves never heard, but only a fan club for their latest injuries. However, I think there is a very important truth that should be looked at: why when we have a problem must we pay someone to listen to us? What DID happen to grandparents, aunties, doting uncles, confidantes? The statistics on American friendship or dismal. Vast numbers of people have no close friends to call on. The people I know who are the strongest and most resilient have close ties, confidantes, and people they call on whose perspective they trust both to comfort them and to set them on the right path when they make a self-destructive turn.
Here in Seattle therapy starts at about $150 per hour and goes up. This is for 45 minutes, 50 if you are lucky. I personally cannot afford this. When I have tried on occasion to go to my HMO’s co-pay, only people they are half my age, barely out of school and useless to where I am, and who I am. We need to bring back hanging out. We need to bring back long coffees and late night conversations around the kitchen table.
(Sorry for mangled sentences, couldn’t edit after posting.) I want to add that at a different phase of life when I was in my 20s I urgently needed professional therapy and tried to go to friends, but was so confused at what I was going through and so distraught I overburdened friendship and that pushed people away. There are issues like actual) physical and sexual abuse and alcoholism that can definitely benefit from the help of skilled professionals. Children from alcoholic homes or from homes with sexual abuse tend to gravitate towards others, who come from those same backgrounds and have similar wounds. Liz, I agree, confiding in people who are as confused, and who have similarly distorted perspectives, can create even more problems..