A few months ago, I had writer Freddie deBoer on the podcast for an episode we called, “Does Glorifying Sickness Deter Healing?” We talked about his experience living with severe bipolar disorder and the dangerous ways in which mental illness has gotten wrapped up in our growing cultural obsession with identity politics. It’s almost like sickness, he argued, has become chic.
We spent some of the conversation talking critically about a New York Times article by writer Daniel Bergner about a movement away from medication and more towards acceptance. A movement that replaces words like “psychosis” with “nonconsensus realities.” This article, in Freddie’s view, was exemplary of the very phenomenon he was calling out.
A lot of people responded extremely positively to my conversation with Freddie. Others, not so much. One of those people was Daniel Bergner. So I invited him on the show.
Today’s episode is not just a debate about how society should handle the epidemic of mental illness. It’s a model for how to disagree with someone productively, respectively, honestly. It’s a reminder not only that it’s okay to come out of a conversation strongly disagreeing with someone, but that it’s of vital importance.
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One of the best debates I've ever heard. I was truly torn between both sides. I hope my first-hand experience helps others in their considerations of treatment for family members.
Context:
- I was one of the 'terrified parents' whose 17-yo daughter became manic one afternoon (not suicidal or harmful to others).
- We bumbled through the mental health system riddled with too many deficiencies to note here and agree with Mr. Bergner about the failures of our current treatments.
- At one point, was diagnosed by a psychiatrist within just a 7-min conversation with my daughter as schizophrenic.
-We had heavy meds for a couple of weeks until she complained of the 'brain blanket' that Mr. Berger referenced from his brother, and I made the decision to take her off (also something Mr. Bergner suggested should be considered).
-But where I agree with BW that a certain amount of reality and control is needed to "right the ship" temporarily until the brain can heal itself (if that's in the cards for this person).
- Cut to 4 years later: After a period of control, time has healed our daughter. After a full year with no further episodes, the official diagnosis is that this was a "Manic Episode". Had we treated her as a schizophrenic, fearing we would open the lid to something unknown, she would still be on heavy meds, and it saddens me to think of what kind of life she would have now.
So here is what I would have done differently:
1. I would not have introduced my daughter to the mental health system at all as she was not harmful to self or others. I would do what Mr. Bergner suggested and just connect and be with her (this ties to that "sick spectrum" that you discussed). Delusion happens sometimes in developing brains.
2. I would have pre-arranged a rx sleep-aid as our first line of defense as I believe that many mental health disorders are triggered by lack of sleep.
3. I think we would have tried to self-care for her using some of the methods from the hospital: Structured days, a dark quiet (no e-media) room, regular sleep schedule, no pressure of any sort for a week or two, instead of exposing her to the traumatic hospital setting. Perhaps taking them away from home to a relaxing airbnb. There is some temporarily means of control that is required, but it must be seen as short-lived until the person can regain their own journey. If they cannot 'get it back' then it might be a sad case of public-safety first.
Mental health is an ENORMOUS problem now and I'm actively pursuing solutions in our city. It would be interesting to dive deeper into the institutional closures and why we instead, opted to keep these people in our most dense cities rather than in calmer "away" spaces, but that's for another podcast.
Thanks again for the example of a great debate, the macro view of this discussion was not lost on me. I appreciate how you listened, gave space, were genuinely curious, and not looking to steamroll your perspective. It was so refreshing and I will try it in the future. I'm already happy with my subscription investment. Keep it up!