To not sound too old, I won’t utter the standard ‘you describe the sad, mentally distressed and anti-social screen addicted kids I see all day everyday nowadays’ confirmation. Rather, I’ll admit to a comparison: as a 42 year old editor/journalist for a strictly online, mostly satirical news magazine who has been active and working online for almost two decades now, I’ve not so much seen myself (a teenager from the analogue age of payphones, MTV and compact discs) turn into the mental mess “you kids nowadays” tend too often to be, but more into a state of permanent nostalgia - and not necessarily the good kind, but much more a sort of sad, depressed version of it. The once mostly satirical news blog (very well-read in my home country for over 20 years, both by fans and critics - or haters - alike), reflects this mood and has slowly but markably lost some, if not a lot of its satirical stance, to become some sort of daily news feed that is embedded in that sense of (sombre, despondent) nostalgia while always ready to fire up the instant outrage that seems to be an inevitable “requirement” of social media driven current events reporting these days.
I not only miss the older, slower, more thoughtful internet you as a younger man than I am never even witnessed, I also increasingly miss the person I myself used to be when that stream of information was already flowing fast, but definitely far slower and less lateral than it is today. And my wife and I, too, are trying harder to find “our Midland” in the way we live our tech-ridden lives. We even moved from the digitally dense Netherlands to slower, more analogue south of Portugal. I guess what I’m trying to say is: if I had known at your age what I know now, I hope I would have done back then what you did now. Because tech and screens have become inevitable, but only we ourselves can prevent them from becoming all-consuming. To end on a lighter note: it is one of the reasons why I spend more time on Substack: to get back into *reading*, and les into an instant response modus that demands more (mental) energy than it can ever recharge or give back.
Anyway, good luck on chipping away at your screen time and keep wielding that ax. Best wishes from the south of Europe.
I like the idea. We have to decide next year for our daughter. Public school we feel is like dropping our kid off at hell for the day and private is crazy expensive....My family’s preschool in Virginia growing up was a farm-school. I don’t know if they even have those anymore.
Don’t know much about Midland, but we live in the same area as Caleb and are intrigued. Would love to talk to Caleb, if possible.
Main concerns are that it is a boarding school and not sure if we or our daughter could handle that.
Follow up: after further research and contact with the school as well as some alumni:
1. High praise from parents and alumni that we know.
2. Immediate and friendly communication with the administration to arrange tour and shadow day for our daughter
3. Quite expensive. Looking at over $70K/year (financial assistance available)
4. From website, appears to be extremely “woke” agenda. (Not verified by current students, our inference is from stated goals, objectives, and clubs posted on the website currently. The alumni we spoke with are over 10 years out and didn’t mention it as a factor)
Caleb I am very excited to hear about you engaging in life. Well done!
This type of experience used to be called Boy Scouts or Girl Scouts. It was common for me and my peers 35-40 years ago. We loved the experience too. We did this once a month with our friends and few adults. Thank you for sharing your voice and a common thread with my generation and generations before me. We are one! Isn't it good to be pretty damn happy.
"“I went to the woods because I wished to live deliberately, to front only the essential facts of life, and see if I could not learn what it had to teach, and not, when I came to die, discover that I had not lived. I did not wish to live what was not life, living is so dear; nor did I wish to practise resignation, unless it was quite necessary. I wanted to live deep and suck out all the marrow of life, to live so sturdily and Spartan-like as to put to rout all that was not life, to cut a broad swath and shave close, to drive life into a corner, and reduce it to its lowest terms...”
Congratulations Caleb. I grew up on a small form in England in the 1970s. No central heating. Only 3 TV channels. As kids we had a few chores to do. Chopping wood was one of my favourite chores. I still like it, even though I'm a city dweller now. I loved your article. I'm going to take your advice on a phone sabbath.
That was a very beautiful essay. For a 17 year old, you are a very deep thinker and rather introspective and accountable. I've been told the same thing, but now I see what it is like in someone else. You remind me of myself. When I was 15, I was addicted to social media and technology. Even though I had limits from parents, I still used them whenever I could.
Then after a few complications (which I wrote about on my substack), I got sent to wilderness therapy for more than 2 months where I turned 16. Not only did we not have technology, we didn't have beds, pillows, tents, or any form of civilization. The program recommended I be sent to a therapeutic boarding school which also wouldn't have those things. Ultimately, my parents sent me to another one which had technology but heavy restrictions which I had for the next months.
The problem with the controls I had were that they weren't based on my goals to improve, they were based on this notion that even older teens need to be controlled and the people running them, used their own personal biases. This made me not so accepting and I pushed back. While I was eager to try them on at first, by the end I was refusing like a classic teenager and almost went back to the same old habits.
What made me want to have a life away from screens was realizing how much overuse on screens messed me up. It caused more divisions, made me feel worse, and potentially missed out on life opportunities. This is what I have in common with Caleb.
The best lesson from Caleb's essay is that in fighting technology addiction, we need to empower young people to decide for themselves rather than deciding for them.
When people blame children for technology addiction, they leave out that it's adults who are causing it by relying on technology. It makes children feel that it's the only way to be. That's why adults should lead.
My daughter's co-workers asked her how she knows so much. Her answer was that when she was growing up her punishment was knowledge, her reward was knowledge and what she did for fun was knowledge.
Nice work, Caleb. You have the rudiments of becoming a writer. But please, you were fortunate to get to Midland. Not “privileged”. Ditch that word, banish it from your vocabulary.
It is a word used to separate some folks in this country from the rest of the country, to corral them into a social shame space, to demand fealty to critical theorist views of oppressor and oppressed, to modern day Marxism. Best to be done with it until the whole notion of a certain portion the populace being responsible for every misfortune others have is itself cancelled.
Great piece based on a very compelling story. I offer high praise for the choice you made to make the monumental shift to Midland. I hope that this can be an inspiration for others in your generation.
Caleb - when you think about colleges you may want to think about Deep Springs in a remote part of California. Your axe will come in handy. But so will your thoughts!
I applaud young Mr. Silverberg for his healthy and praiseworthy self-awareness that has changed the trajectory of his life.
Midland is not unique amongst boarding schools. One finds similar schools across the country with similar approaches to the education of students. Midland seems to require a degree more in the self-sufficiency area than the average. Silverberg will have a fine and unique education. From his essay, it seems that he understands that potential. In my day, that school would have been named Mr. Hermon.
His essay, however, leaves me with that uncomfortable feeling one gets in one of those parents night at the local school with kids on show displaying their talents(?). Everyone in the audience sits ready to endure the poor kid(s) for whom the whole thing is a terrifying experience.
This leads me to the question as to why student Silverberg's essay gets prominent play on this site. Did I miss the message that today would be school show-and-tell for the grownups?
We seem to be the victims of our own success. If we live in a society without dysentery or starvation being common, we end up creating a weird conundrum of connection where no one talks or has sex. Conservatives ruled the world that gathered firewood and shot any meat they ate. Liberals rule the world where "a girl is a boy is a rat is a toy." So, where's my axe? :)
To not sound too old, I won’t utter the standard ‘you describe the sad, mentally distressed and anti-social screen addicted kids I see all day everyday nowadays’ confirmation. Rather, I’ll admit to a comparison: as a 42 year old editor/journalist for a strictly online, mostly satirical news magazine who has been active and working online for almost two decades now, I’ve not so much seen myself (a teenager from the analogue age of payphones, MTV and compact discs) turn into the mental mess “you kids nowadays” tend too often to be, but more into a state of permanent nostalgia - and not necessarily the good kind, but much more a sort of sad, depressed version of it. The once mostly satirical news blog (very well-read in my home country for over 20 years, both by fans and critics - or haters - alike), reflects this mood and has slowly but markably lost some, if not a lot of its satirical stance, to become some sort of daily news feed that is embedded in that sense of (sombre, despondent) nostalgia while always ready to fire up the instant outrage that seems to be an inevitable “requirement” of social media driven current events reporting these days.
I not only miss the older, slower, more thoughtful internet you as a younger man than I am never even witnessed, I also increasingly miss the person I myself used to be when that stream of information was already flowing fast, but definitely far slower and less lateral than it is today. And my wife and I, too, are trying harder to find “our Midland” in the way we live our tech-ridden lives. We even moved from the digitally dense Netherlands to slower, more analogue south of Portugal. I guess what I’m trying to say is: if I had known at your age what I know now, I hope I would have done back then what you did now. Because tech and screens have become inevitable, but only we ourselves can prevent them from becoming all-consuming. To end on a lighter note: it is one of the reasons why I spend more time on Substack: to get back into *reading*, and les into an instant response modus that demands more (mental) energy than it can ever recharge or give back.
Anyway, good luck on chipping away at your screen time and keep wielding that ax. Best wishes from the south of Europe.
how many of us are looking up Midland school now! im 57 years old and I wish I could go there!
This was my favorite.
I love the idea of the Technology Shabbat. It takes Caleb's knowledge and experience gained and provides a solution all of us can use.
I like the idea. We have to decide next year for our daughter. Public school we feel is like dropping our kid off at hell for the day and private is crazy expensive....My family’s preschool in Virginia growing up was a farm-school. I don’t know if they even have those anymore.
Don’t know much about Midland, but we live in the same area as Caleb and are intrigued. Would love to talk to Caleb, if possible.
Main concerns are that it is a boarding school and not sure if we or our daughter could handle that.
Also cost.
Thanks for the article, Caleb!
Follow up: after further research and contact with the school as well as some alumni:
1. High praise from parents and alumni that we know.
2. Immediate and friendly communication with the administration to arrange tour and shadow day for our daughter
3. Quite expensive. Looking at over $70K/year (financial assistance available)
4. From website, appears to be extremely “woke” agenda. (Not verified by current students, our inference is from stated goals, objectives, and clubs posted on the website currently. The alumni we spoke with are over 10 years out and didn’t mention it as a factor)
Caleb I am very excited to hear about you engaging in life. Well done!
This type of experience used to be called Boy Scouts or Girl Scouts. It was common for me and my peers 35-40 years ago. We loved the experience too. We did this once a month with our friends and few adults. Thank you for sharing your voice and a common thread with my generation and generations before me. We are one! Isn't it good to be pretty damn happy.
Thoreau is still hip!
"“I went to the woods because I wished to live deliberately, to front only the essential facts of life, and see if I could not learn what it had to teach, and not, when I came to die, discover that I had not lived. I did not wish to live what was not life, living is so dear; nor did I wish to practise resignation, unless it was quite necessary. I wanted to live deep and suck out all the marrow of life, to live so sturdily and Spartan-like as to put to rout all that was not life, to cut a broad swath and shave close, to drive life into a corner, and reduce it to its lowest terms...”
There may yet be hope for the future of this nation.
Congratulations Caleb. I grew up on a small form in England in the 1970s. No central heating. Only 3 TV channels. As kids we had a few chores to do. Chopping wood was one of my favourite chores. I still like it, even though I'm a city dweller now. I loved your article. I'm going to take your advice on a phone sabbath.
That was a very beautiful essay. For a 17 year old, you are a very deep thinker and rather introspective and accountable. I've been told the same thing, but now I see what it is like in someone else. You remind me of myself. When I was 15, I was addicted to social media and technology. Even though I had limits from parents, I still used them whenever I could.
Then after a few complications (which I wrote about on my substack), I got sent to wilderness therapy for more than 2 months where I turned 16. Not only did we not have technology, we didn't have beds, pillows, tents, or any form of civilization. The program recommended I be sent to a therapeutic boarding school which also wouldn't have those things. Ultimately, my parents sent me to another one which had technology but heavy restrictions which I had for the next months.
The problem with the controls I had were that they weren't based on my goals to improve, they were based on this notion that even older teens need to be controlled and the people running them, used their own personal biases. This made me not so accepting and I pushed back. While I was eager to try them on at first, by the end I was refusing like a classic teenager and almost went back to the same old habits.
What made me want to have a life away from screens was realizing how much overuse on screens messed me up. It caused more divisions, made me feel worse, and potentially missed out on life opportunities. This is what I have in common with Caleb.
The best lesson from Caleb's essay is that in fighting technology addiction, we need to empower young people to decide for themselves rather than deciding for them.
I applaud Caleb, as do, I think, most adults. Question: Do we adults have the personal discipline to emulate his choices? We could change the world!
When people blame children for technology addiction, they leave out that it's adults who are causing it by relying on technology. It makes children feel that it's the only way to be. That's why adults should lead.
My daughter's co-workers asked her how she knows so much. Her answer was that when she was growing up her punishment was knowledge, her reward was knowledge and what she did for fun was knowledge.
Nice work, Caleb. You have the rudiments of becoming a writer. But please, you were fortunate to get to Midland. Not “privileged”. Ditch that word, banish it from your vocabulary.
Otherwise, good stuff.
What's wrong with using privileged?
It is a word used to separate some folks in this country from the rest of the country, to corral them into a social shame space, to demand fealty to critical theorist views of oppressor and oppressed, to modern day Marxism. Best to be done with it until the whole notion of a certain portion the populace being responsible for every misfortune others have is itself cancelled.
Great piece based on a very compelling story. I offer high praise for the choice you made to make the monumental shift to Midland. I hope that this can be an inspiration for others in your generation.
Caleb - when you think about colleges you may want to think about Deep Springs in a remote part of California. Your axe will come in handy. But so will your thoughts!
I applaud young Mr. Silverberg for his healthy and praiseworthy self-awareness that has changed the trajectory of his life.
Midland is not unique amongst boarding schools. One finds similar schools across the country with similar approaches to the education of students. Midland seems to require a degree more in the self-sufficiency area than the average. Silverberg will have a fine and unique education. From his essay, it seems that he understands that potential. In my day, that school would have been named Mr. Hermon.
His essay, however, leaves me with that uncomfortable feeling one gets in one of those parents night at the local school with kids on show displaying their talents(?). Everyone in the audience sits ready to endure the poor kid(s) for whom the whole thing is a terrifying experience.
This leads me to the question as to why student Silverberg's essay gets prominent play on this site. Did I miss the message that today would be school show-and-tell for the grownups?
We seem to be the victims of our own success. If we live in a society without dysentery or starvation being common, we end up creating a weird conundrum of connection where no one talks or has sex. Conservatives ruled the world that gathered firewood and shot any meat they ate. Liberals rule the world where "a girl is a boy is a rat is a toy." So, where's my axe? :)