It is uncomfortable listening to fellow conservatives glibly, mockingly toss about the word "groomer", yet as a gay man (I really hate qualifying "as a", but relevant in this issue) the word "queer" is also distasteful, more soon fact than "groomer".
I listened to TGIF with my wife this morning while exercising. It was great. She doesn't consume a lot of news, so this was exactly the fun romp through the week that we could both enjoy at 6AM, and we even paused to discuss a few items. Nellie, just don't listen! That way you don't have to worry about not liking your voice.
The "groomer" discussion was great. I completely agree that it's a bad use of that term, but if those fighting to keep sexual discussions with kids happening can't realize how gross and weird it is, they'll drag down whatever political movement they're attached to. You and Katie outlined it very well. Thanks!
Checked out that link you provided - wow, talk about analysis paralysis, small wonder that one needs a PhD in gender studies to keep it all straight (pun intended)
Problem: Two groups of people with different knowledge and skills need to learn something to have the same access to an advantage.
Kids need Pre-calculus to get into more advanced math and college.
We have two choices:
1. Change the requirements and reduce the need to have the more advanced knowledge and skills.
2. Offer additional training and support to the group that needs it so that everyone has that additional knowledge and skill.
So, in #1, rich people then buy the teaching; and we have more disparity.
In #2, the poor and rich alike get the training.
Used to be #2 was the more liberal option. #1 now is so that we can all be equal. Equally lacking in knowledge and skill; while the rest of the world wonders why we are so stupid.
Apr 11, 2022·edited Apr 11, 2022Liked by Nellie Bowles
I really enjoyed your podcast episode Nellie. I want to comment on the fear of parents and the “groomer” term. I think you get it from what I understood you to say. Parents have lost trust in SOME teachers - not all. We have watched as unions fought to keep children out of school when it was not in their best interest. We have had our children - young children - shamed by some teachers if their mask creeps down. And now we are basically shocked at the vehemence with which it seems SOME teachers feel like they need to discuss sexual orientation with our 6 year olds. This is not about a teacher saying something about their spouse and that didn’t seem to even be the focus of the bill. it’s about telling a 6 year old they can be either gender and confusing them with things that are not even on their radar yet. LET. THEM. PLAY. They are kids. And if the boys want to play with dolls and the girls want to play with excavators - who cares? We don’t. The majority of parents don’t. We just want our kids to be able to go to school and feel happy and laugh and learn about interacting with friends because they have not gotten to do much of that in the last 2 years. The talk shifts to the word “groomer” because there are very vocal teachers and people on platforms like tik tok that openly talk about how they teach about sexual orientation in pre-school. PRE-SCHOOL- my kids thought they were cats in preschool half the time. Of course this is not all teachers - but who do we trust? We do not hate anyone. We don’t hate gay people-and we do not hate trans people even if we don’t think transwomen should compete against biological women. We JUST care about our children. I have 6 year B/G twins. They have played “Frozen” to the point where my son refused to do it anymore because he always had to be Ana🤣🤣 They also play kickball and wrestle and house and Barbies and Pokémon. They do not think about these games as anything relating to gender. They are just PLAYING. As children should be doing. Kids are so loving- If their teacher is gay- it doesn’t matter to their students whether they know about it or not. What matters is that their teacher cheers them on, teaches them in a loving, patient and fun manner - and believes in their abilities. For this/ kids love them. Our children do not need to be pawns in a culture war. They have already spent 2 years protecting adults- so they don’t need to validate their teachers sexuality or “understand” their teachers family dynamics as long as they treat their teacher with respect and kindness. And I don’t believe at all you think that they do, but there are whackadoodle people online that are reacting in such a deranged manner about this bill and how it affects them, parents cannot understand it🤷🏻♀️ The obsession with the sexualization of kindergarteners is baffling. It’s like their lives will fall apart if a 6 year old doesn’t know if they are pansexual. And we cannot jput our trust in all the teachers to do the right thing, the thing best for kids, though 99% of them do I’m sure. Let children be children, teach them about reading and poems and animals and counting - but don’t confuse them or introduce concepts to them that are so far from what they are thinking about right now. They are learning and exploring how to interact with peers and just get along/ share, you know, basic social skills. Taking turns. Being kind. Listening. I’m sorry- very sorry - if this brings out people that are truly hateful. But when there are a loud group of people / teachers screaming they WILL teach gender identity anyway on platforms such as tik tok , while simultaneously TV anchors on CNN and other networks deny it happens at all - we are stuck in the middle. So unfortunately- we NEED a bill. Maybe a more clearly written one, but we need a law. The children’s well- being should be paramount in everyone’s mind, Not the adults. We as parents can teach our children to love and respect all people - and we can go into further detail when it’s age appropriate or if a question comes up. But the trust is broken - and honestly 99% of parents do not care what teachers do in their private lives as long as they are good people and good teachers. But we do care what is introduced to our children by adults. and at very young ages, because A. Adults shouldn’t needs children to validate their choices or B. They are willing to use kids as political pawns. We are charged as parents with putting the needs of our children before anything else. Teachers have long been our partners in this endeavor- but the trust is completely eroded. So we need assurance. I wish you much success with your podcast Nellie- you have great balanced perspective and I learn about my own biases through journalists such as yourself. I know when I get it wrong - I learn. But when parents backs are against the wall- and their child might be hurt - normally centric sane people will use words like “groomer” to be clear. And to be honest - we get called some pretty hard core names for this stance. And told we will cause trans kids to die. So we are killers I guess. It’s ashamed that kids are stuck in the middle. Luckily as long as they can play and learn and grow in an age appropriate school environment- they will play their gender neutral games- heck they are even cats sometimes or super heroes or Pokémon trainers- they will play and discover and grow while blissfully unaware of the of the adults squabbling around them. Have a great night/ wishing you continued success and love in your life❤️
Genuinely curious, what is the value added/information value of highlighting the 2019 Bill Maher clip? Is there something new within this clip that we don’t already know?
Nellie, you are quickly becoming my favorite read of the week. Balanced, even-handed, honest, funny, and willing to take swipes at both sides when they act stupid (you have a lot of material to work with these days) .... geeeeesh, what planet did you come from?
"The law —is vague enough that it opens the possibility for parents to complain even if a gay teacher mentions his husband in passing" Frankly, a Teacher's personal life should be unknown to all students in Elementary School. "South Park" ( the cartoon show) does a running Elementary Teacher character who talks incessantly about his relationship to "Mr Slave" (leather clad gay) and others. Cringeworthy but spot on !!!! Teachers need to keep their personal life and opinions out of school. Narcissists........and in Philly they have a 50 year reign of failure.
When I was in 2nd grade back in the 1960s, my teacher’s name changed from Miss Jones to Mrs. Smith because, we were told, she got married. That was as close as I ever got to a teacher’s personal life, in 12 years of school. And I do not recall ever wanting to know anything else about my teachers. Certainly it would have been really weird and inappropriate for them to discuss their sexuality... just as it still is today.
As many others have mentioned, I was utterly unaware of the personal lives of most of my teachers. The difference between Miss and Mrs signaled nothing more than whether a female teacher was married; our teachers simply did not mention their spouses. There was a level of professionalism that kept talk of anything personal out of the workplace. Our fifth grade teacher was absent for extended periods of time due to illness, but we students were never told what that illness was (I suspected cancer, but we were simply NOT told).
I suspect that a lot of the pushback against this law is related to the fact that professionalism is no longer practiced in the field of education. It's not at all uncommon for teachers to insist that their students address them by their given name instead of their surname. Nor is it uncommon for teachers to dress extremely casually in the classroom. It follows that teachers would, indeed, talk about their personal lives with their students.
C’mon the hit on Desantis in the first minute was Unnecessary!
I’m in on consenting “ adults “ for nearly Everything……..
but don’t “ instruct “ my kids about sex of ANY kind in 3rd Grade !
If the kid brings it up everyone involved should deal and be aware……
The reason our kids at that age are in school is NOT to learn about the family lives of anyone that happens to be teaching them !!
I don’t suspect anyone would be fired for this though in today’s insanity anything is possible Obviously to me ,the mention of their family( by a teacher ) in passing is NOT instruction but is certainly not what I intended to spend my tax money on ! …..
The kids at this age are still trying to figure out their OWN family!…….
Give us a break till fourth grade—— reading,riting,rithmitic, Save the rest for later…..
Yes Biden , democrat minimum wage and other policy has Directly contributed to this Inflation…………Sorry kids………….
Other than that have a great weekend folks !
So outside of that MR. Lincoln, how was the play 😱
I'm going to add my voice to those advocating for keeping a written version of this blog instead of going to podcasts. I always prefer reading to listening, because I can do it much faster.
Hi Bari - awesome work as always. I had a story I wanted to share with you, last week I was at a conference, and one of the speakers was Frank Bruni, former NYT writer. They gave away his new book and had a book signing. So, I grabbed my book, and got in line. When it was my turn to meet him, I told him I thought he did a good job with his speech to the conference attendees. I then said, "I have to ask you if you know Bari Weiss, because I am a HUGE fan of hers and what she is doing with Common Sense?" Literally, his whole demeanor changed, and he said, to answer that question would take more time than we have, a lot more time. It seemed as though he was almost angry at that point. I was not too surprised. Anyways, keep being BRAVE. Keep being honest. Keep being you!
Catching up on some I missed. So good. And the podcast was sooooo good.
It is uncomfortable listening to fellow conservatives glibly, mockingly toss about the word "groomer", yet as a gay man (I really hate qualifying "as a", but relevant in this issue) the word "queer" is also distasteful, more soon fact than "groomer".
I listened to TGIF with my wife this morning while exercising. It was great. She doesn't consume a lot of news, so this was exactly the fun romp through the week that we could both enjoy at 6AM, and we even paused to discuss a few items. Nellie, just don't listen! That way you don't have to worry about not liking your voice.
The "groomer" discussion was great. I completely agree that it's a bad use of that term, but if those fighting to keep sexual discussions with kids happening can't realize how gross and weird it is, they'll drag down whatever political movement they're attached to. You and Katie outlined it very well. Thanks!
On fraysexual.
I thought this was a joke when I read it. I had to read it again the next day, and the next.
I googled it. It is not a joke. Reference: https://www.oulgbtq.org/acearo-spectrum-definitions.html
Fraysexual: someone who initially experiences sexual attraction upon meeting someone, but this attraction fades after getting to know them.
I thought we call that "the dating experience". Start off with physical attraction: "Wow. You are cute! Lets talk."
Then you talk. You hang out a little. Just no chemistry and spark. You move on.
There is a flag for that?
I thought that was just...life and social interaction??? There is a whole group for that already. We call them... teenagers?
Checked out that link you provided - wow, talk about analysis paralysis, small wonder that one needs a PhD in gender studies to keep it all straight (pun intended)
On math wars and a lot of things:
Problem: Two groups of people with different knowledge and skills need to learn something to have the same access to an advantage.
Kids need Pre-calculus to get into more advanced math and college.
We have two choices:
1. Change the requirements and reduce the need to have the more advanced knowledge and skills.
2. Offer additional training and support to the group that needs it so that everyone has that additional knowledge and skill.
So, in #1, rich people then buy the teaching; and we have more disparity.
In #2, the poor and rich alike get the training.
Used to be #2 was the more liberal option. #1 now is so that we can all be equal. Equally lacking in knowledge and skill; while the rest of the world wonders why we are so stupid.
I really enjoyed your podcast episode Nellie. I want to comment on the fear of parents and the “groomer” term. I think you get it from what I understood you to say. Parents have lost trust in SOME teachers - not all. We have watched as unions fought to keep children out of school when it was not in their best interest. We have had our children - young children - shamed by some teachers if their mask creeps down. And now we are basically shocked at the vehemence with which it seems SOME teachers feel like they need to discuss sexual orientation with our 6 year olds. This is not about a teacher saying something about their spouse and that didn’t seem to even be the focus of the bill. it’s about telling a 6 year old they can be either gender and confusing them with things that are not even on their radar yet. LET. THEM. PLAY. They are kids. And if the boys want to play with dolls and the girls want to play with excavators - who cares? We don’t. The majority of parents don’t. We just want our kids to be able to go to school and feel happy and laugh and learn about interacting with friends because they have not gotten to do much of that in the last 2 years. The talk shifts to the word “groomer” because there are very vocal teachers and people on platforms like tik tok that openly talk about how they teach about sexual orientation in pre-school. PRE-SCHOOL- my kids thought they were cats in preschool half the time. Of course this is not all teachers - but who do we trust? We do not hate anyone. We don’t hate gay people-and we do not hate trans people even if we don’t think transwomen should compete against biological women. We JUST care about our children. I have 6 year B/G twins. They have played “Frozen” to the point where my son refused to do it anymore because he always had to be Ana🤣🤣 They also play kickball and wrestle and house and Barbies and Pokémon. They do not think about these games as anything relating to gender. They are just PLAYING. As children should be doing. Kids are so loving- If their teacher is gay- it doesn’t matter to their students whether they know about it or not. What matters is that their teacher cheers them on, teaches them in a loving, patient and fun manner - and believes in their abilities. For this/ kids love them. Our children do not need to be pawns in a culture war. They have already spent 2 years protecting adults- so they don’t need to validate their teachers sexuality or “understand” their teachers family dynamics as long as they treat their teacher with respect and kindness. And I don’t believe at all you think that they do, but there are whackadoodle people online that are reacting in such a deranged manner about this bill and how it affects them, parents cannot understand it🤷🏻♀️ The obsession with the sexualization of kindergarteners is baffling. It’s like their lives will fall apart if a 6 year old doesn’t know if they are pansexual. And we cannot jput our trust in all the teachers to do the right thing, the thing best for kids, though 99% of them do I’m sure. Let children be children, teach them about reading and poems and animals and counting - but don’t confuse them or introduce concepts to them that are so far from what they are thinking about right now. They are learning and exploring how to interact with peers and just get along/ share, you know, basic social skills. Taking turns. Being kind. Listening. I’m sorry- very sorry - if this brings out people that are truly hateful. But when there are a loud group of people / teachers screaming they WILL teach gender identity anyway on platforms such as tik tok , while simultaneously TV anchors on CNN and other networks deny it happens at all - we are stuck in the middle. So unfortunately- we NEED a bill. Maybe a more clearly written one, but we need a law. The children’s well- being should be paramount in everyone’s mind, Not the adults. We as parents can teach our children to love and respect all people - and we can go into further detail when it’s age appropriate or if a question comes up. But the trust is broken - and honestly 99% of parents do not care what teachers do in their private lives as long as they are good people and good teachers. But we do care what is introduced to our children by adults. and at very young ages, because A. Adults shouldn’t needs children to validate their choices or B. They are willing to use kids as political pawns. We are charged as parents with putting the needs of our children before anything else. Teachers have long been our partners in this endeavor- but the trust is completely eroded. So we need assurance. I wish you much success with your podcast Nellie- you have great balanced perspective and I learn about my own biases through journalists such as yourself. I know when I get it wrong - I learn. But when parents backs are against the wall- and their child might be hurt - normally centric sane people will use words like “groomer” to be clear. And to be honest - we get called some pretty hard core names for this stance. And told we will cause trans kids to die. So we are killers I guess. It’s ashamed that kids are stuck in the middle. Luckily as long as they can play and learn and grow in an age appropriate school environment- they will play their gender neutral games- heck they are even cats sometimes or super heroes or Pokémon trainers- they will play and discover and grow while blissfully unaware of the of the adults squabbling around them. Have a great night/ wishing you continued success and love in your life❤️
Genuinely curious, what is the value added/information value of highlighting the 2019 Bill Maher clip? Is there something new within this clip that we don’t already know?
I love TGIF as a podcast 💚
A thought - you should mention that The Week that Was is available in the Common Sense feed, not only on the disgusting Spotify platform.
Bravo on the TGIF podcast! Great addition. Thank you Katie and Nellie.
Nellie, you are quickly becoming my favorite read of the week. Balanced, even-handed, honest, funny, and willing to take swipes at both sides when they act stupid (you have a lot of material to work with these days) .... geeeeesh, what planet did you come from?
Great, refreshing recap of this weeks news. Thank you for bringing these topics forward. And great 1st TGIF podcast!
"The law —is vague enough that it opens the possibility for parents to complain even if a gay teacher mentions his husband in passing" Frankly, a Teacher's personal life should be unknown to all students in Elementary School. "South Park" ( the cartoon show) does a running Elementary Teacher character who talks incessantly about his relationship to "Mr Slave" (leather clad gay) and others. Cringeworthy but spot on !!!! Teachers need to keep their personal life and opinions out of school. Narcissists........and in Philly they have a 50 year reign of failure.
When I was in 2nd grade back in the 1960s, my teacher’s name changed from Miss Jones to Mrs. Smith because, we were told, she got married. That was as close as I ever got to a teacher’s personal life, in 12 years of school. And I do not recall ever wanting to know anything else about my teachers. Certainly it would have been really weird and inappropriate for them to discuss their sexuality... just as it still is today.
As many others have mentioned, I was utterly unaware of the personal lives of most of my teachers. The difference between Miss and Mrs signaled nothing more than whether a female teacher was married; our teachers simply did not mention their spouses. There was a level of professionalism that kept talk of anything personal out of the workplace. Our fifth grade teacher was absent for extended periods of time due to illness, but we students were never told what that illness was (I suspected cancer, but we were simply NOT told).
I suspect that a lot of the pushback against this law is related to the fact that professionalism is no longer practiced in the field of education. It's not at all uncommon for teachers to insist that their students address them by their given name instead of their surname. Nor is it uncommon for teachers to dress extremely casually in the classroom. It follows that teachers would, indeed, talk about their personal lives with their students.
To My second favorite lesbian ladies :
C’mon the hit on Desantis in the first minute was Unnecessary!
I’m in on consenting “ adults “ for nearly Everything……..
but don’t “ instruct “ my kids about sex of ANY kind in 3rd Grade !
If the kid brings it up everyone involved should deal and be aware……
The reason our kids at that age are in school is NOT to learn about the family lives of anyone that happens to be teaching them !!
I don’t suspect anyone would be fired for this though in today’s insanity anything is possible Obviously to me ,the mention of their family( by a teacher ) in passing is NOT instruction but is certainly not what I intended to spend my tax money on ! …..
The kids at this age are still trying to figure out their OWN family!…….
Give us a break till fourth grade—— reading,riting,rithmitic, Save the rest for later…..
Yes Biden , democrat minimum wage and other policy has Directly contributed to this Inflation…………Sorry kids………….
Other than that have a great weekend folks !
So outside of that MR. Lincoln, how was the play 😱
I'm going to add my voice to those advocating for keeping a written version of this blog instead of going to podcasts. I always prefer reading to listening, because I can do it much faster.
Hi Bari - awesome work as always. I had a story I wanted to share with you, last week I was at a conference, and one of the speakers was Frank Bruni, former NYT writer. They gave away his new book and had a book signing. So, I grabbed my book, and got in line. When it was my turn to meet him, I told him I thought he did a good job with his speech to the conference attendees. I then said, "I have to ask you if you know Bari Weiss, because I am a HUGE fan of hers and what she is doing with Common Sense?" Literally, his whole demeanor changed, and he said, to answer that question would take more time than we have, a lot more time. It seemed as though he was almost angry at that point. I was not too surprised. Anyways, keep being BRAVE. Keep being honest. Keep being you!