Life is fairly difficult, and people often get in their own way. They get wound up about things they cannot control, people who are ruining things from the way they were to they way they are, and put a lot of emphasis in pushing down what makes them suffer.
The thing is, we need suffering. As it comes from Proverbs, iron sharpens iron. The refining process of maturity and experience is what guides you through life between the difficulties and the good times—feast and famine.
Know your values, use them to guide you, and stick to them. It won’t make all troubles go away, but being true to them will help make navigating the path easier. Don’t be too idealistic, ignore or hide your problems, or make excuses for others. The snake just comes back bigger down the road, and it’s rattle gets louder. Recognize predatory people, develop your own insights into yourself, and don’t use others for selfish gain. Take the time to develop hobbies and interests, be intentional and interested in who people are, not just what they can do for you. And always be kind, even if you don’t like the person; some people just have bad days, and sometimes you’re the reason people stop and change because you acted differently than everyone else around them.
I once took a wine class and the sommelier said good wines tend to not come from regions with great soil - wherever vegetables would grow really well, tend to not make excellent grapes. Grapes need to suffer a little bit to be interesting.
And I thought, yes - just like people. Those who lead a life without any suffering are usually the least dimensional. Suffering is in fact an enriching experience.
True. One should aim somewhere halfway between “my Starbucks ran out of caramel drizzle” and “my mother would lock me in a closet with dead animals as a toddler and now I’m a serial killer”.
Anthropomorphising doesn't help. Where is getting pissed on Maslow's Hierachy of Needs? Of course the best wines grow on poor soil. 90% of folk will like roughly the same things. We like the wines that grow in those soil conditions, they were accidently adapted to our palette, and we were conditioned to them.
Peter Parker is Spiderman and Miles Morales is Miles Morales for the same reason. Populate your company with the ten percent and you'll never break out from a niche market. Transition(sic!) Disney from the 90% to the Ten Percent and you'll be wondering why the fuck you are going broke and folk are staying away in droves.
"Suffering is in fact an enriching experience." When given lemons; make lemonade - or as here, invent masochism. Transforming crucifixion into an imaginary salvic experience is the same deal. We like our just so stories; it doesn't actually make them so.
I’m having so much trouble following this reply. My point is, having experienced suffering in one’s life may instill resilience, perspective, and reinforce adaptive behaviors. Have you ever talked to someone who hasn’t suffered at all, ever? It’s difficult to uphold the conversation. What does someone who lives like a cushioned house cat have to offer? I know a few house wives to wealthy men who fit this bill. Like Pai Mai said in Kill Bill, all they’re good at is ordering at restaurants and spending their husbands money.
Obviously extremes of suffering aren’t what I’m talking about. A little suffering.
Yes, because you know that you’ve had to work for it, and you’ve EARNED it. I was drawn to athletic pursuits for that very reason, despite being of average ability (good, but not really gifted) -- pushing yourself to run a marathon, or to backpack long distances in harsh terrain requires focus and discipline, as well as physical discomfort, and the feeling of accomplishment afterwards is part of how people mature psychologically.
Not to inject politics, but the replacement of merit by “identity” essentially undermines the process of earning things, and is interfering with young people’s development.
No "average" people make the cut? I would be more impressed if an average housewife/husband submitted an approved essay, or maybe a factory worker, or someone in retail sales. And why not someone in law enforcement or working in social settings? I am sure that these people are worthy, but they have no connection to ME, and their lessons do not resonate. Sorry.
lI agree, Robert (Bob? Rob?) I had no thought of inventing a better mouse trap, writing a novel, growing a prize-winning anything....just going day to day and doing what came naturally, alone, with friends, taking care of my husband and............reading.....all the books I missed and some new ones and remembering.......all the good times.
When I read the semi-finalists entries, I quickly realized my little ditty about my parents (with eight children) hosting foreign exchange students was not foreign enough. So, I just posted it to my boring Substack page. (Five wives..? I gotta get out more...)
This forum has a couple of weirdnesses that conspire against the people that you describe having heard about the essay contest. Personally? in Mid October I was being ritually poisoned every other week at an infusion center. Even were that not the case (and had I noticed the invite; I don't recall -- the chemobrain was a Thing by then) I would have been hard pressed to identify One Event. Beyond that, I'm pretty sure that Most of Us did not have Road to Emmaus moments. So rare events in a skewed population? Kinda looks like a path to that which occurred -- to me, anyway.
Thanks! Poisonings done but one of those warnings that kinda got brushed aside at the time was that the stuff they put in for months also takes months to work its way out. (This is NOT a bid for sympathy; more a PSA.) Anyone faced with chemo needs to expect certain things that about which your oncologist will try to warn you; a few I didn't very well internalize: First, the effects -- and they are legion -- build. For the first half dozen treatments, I was out working a few days afterward; then... (bad joke alert) most of us want to avoid STDs; I asked for one (as in Short Term Disability; one of those Corporate Bennies that I never thought that I'd need). Next, the particular effect-set that one experiences can literally vary by the hour. And finally, the run-off period that I already noted. (As with such as dieting and exercise, chemo is (relatively) short term pain/long term gain -- a tough sell in the moment but not having cancer is... way cool.)
Hope you're not sorry that you responded. A happy new year to ya.
This IS TFP; expecting refugees from the Gray Lady to suddenly not to be of an anathema demographic is magical thinking. They are steps closer to sobriety, enough that I'll probably renew my sub, but they've a ways to go yet. Besides the only rag you and I would be satisfied with would be the one we wrote ourselves and I'm sure you'd hate mine and I'd pobably hate yours. ;-)
Good point, Steven. It does make me wonder, though, what kind of people habituate this site. Is it elites, upper-middle-class professionals, escapees from the NYT sewer? Certainly, there are averages shlubs such as I. But where are their contributions? Now that I say this, I am sure that some of these "educated" and "professional" types will maintain that THEY are everyday people because that is how they see themselves. I would be more interested in hearing from those who are wrestling with everyday expenses, or struggling to raise families in a hostile environment, or perhaps teachers who are swimming against the tide of a "woke" environment. What are the life lessons that THEY might impart? I realize that this essay contest was for those over 70, as am I, and are no doubt retired, so I guess that I'll just take it for what it is. Not ALL 70-year-olds are living on investments, generous retirement schemes, or 401K's, PLUS collecting Social Security. Some of us are still working part time to augment our S.S. dole.
I do wonder sometimes who the key clientele are for this site. I think TFP wants it to be NYT-adjacent elites and urban professionals and sometimes seems slightly resentful that many of its readers are "everyday blue-collar shlubs".
Vickie, when you have a career that is in continuous demand, working 1 or 2 days a week for some extra cash is actually quite satisfying. After 46 years in my lowbrow, blue collar service job, I decided to retire at 71 years of age, but after 6 months I became shiftless and bored. So, on a whim, I went to a local trade establishment of my former profession and spoke with the owner. I hadn't even finished my pitch when he said, "You can choose your own hours." He hired me on the spot! Now, the extra cash (they pay weekly! WOW!) eases the stress of a stress-free retirement. The beauty of it is that I don't NEED to work but WANT to work. I am sure that you will find that to be the case as well. Good luck, for the next 10 years!
The fifth time is the charm, apparently. This author is a self-proclaimed work in progress, and seems to find that oh so endearing. I’d like to hear the perspective of his two children, dealing with his life choices.
If Haley is as bad as you (and Ramaswamy) say, I don't see it and after thee debates something highly questionable should have surfaced by now.
Perhaps she believes in a strong national defense. Or needs tons of money to run for president and this is the best means for her to raise enough. Would you feel any different if she sat on boards of pharma companies?
Either way I'll vote for her, or DeSantis, or Trump if he's the nominee, or Daffy Duck if it means we end this disaster we have now in real time.
Haley is right on American foreign policy and her solution to the abortion issue is the most practical of any Republican. One of the first things I learned in law school is that you cannot legislate morality.
No. A Russian victory in Ukraine, which fortunately is not forthcoming, will lead to more war and American combat troops in Europe.
Peace will come between nations when totalitarian ideologies are rejected and all borders are considered inviolable. Peace will come to individuals when we all practice The Golden Rule.
Yes. The Golden Rule and other Judeo-Christian wisdom that has been jettisoned so arrogantly.
I’d taken his quote at an individual level. A Buddhist sort of “letting go”. Or, from my experience in relationships, letting go of the toxic idea that my partner/friend “should” do X. (I know it’s not quite that simple, but this is the Comments section! 🤣)
Yesterday, Ukraine shot down 3 Russian Jets. The detrimental effects on the world’s food supply of Russia’s completely unjustified war on Ukraine have already been overcome. The victor of the wars in Gaza and Ukraine is clear. What remains to be determined is what will be left of the Gaza Strip and Russia.
If we could- eject the evil democrats, end this DEI BS, refund the police, put criminals in jail. Correct our school and university systems, correct our voting system, Eliminate BLM, this list is endless.
They were all kind of a bust. Gives my age cohort a thumbs down, but I know that have many of us have lived and continue to live deep and meaningful lives
Let us consider George Eliot's closing comment on Dorothea in Middlemarch:
"But the effect of her being on those around her was incalculably diffusive: for the growing good of the world is partly dependent on unhistoric acts; and that things are not so ill with you and me as they might have been is half owing to the number who lived faithfully a hidden life, and rest in unvisited tombs."
My life has turned out different from what I imagined it would, when I was young and heroic and life lay before me. It might even be that I have done some good. I know I have not always behaved well, but there isn't one injury I've done to others that I do not remember acutely and with regret.
I told one of my classes once, when the topic came up, that I rarely remember the times others have hurt my feelings, but I always remember when I hurt theirs.
Thanks for the observation from Middlemarch. Is it the narrator's or the authorial voice? It appeals to folk who read Elliot and the Grauniad and you. But remember; you could swap evil in and it would be saying the same thing. I doubt anything that appeals to The Guardian and its' readers. Your remark about feelings is anecdote; and besides, giving a stuff for fee fees is large part of why we find our selves in the mire. Remember and worry about the actual harms, if any, you might have done and learn from those.
I don't read The Guardian, nor do I know for a fact that Middlemarch appeals to its readership. Does Middlemarch appeal to anyone anymore?
Nor did I ever use my students as confessors. That's for teachers who think they're their students' friends. I found it sufficient to toss out a nugget and move on, and hope some were fast enough to find some good in it.
In regretting a thing, one learns (unless terminally blockheaded) not to repeat it. As the Greeks said, μαθαίν πάθειv. Or something like that.
The authorial voice and narrator are really the same in this novel, I think. I should reread it.
Well written stories all. At 76, there are far fewer days behind me than ahead. The one lesson I take away is that while aging is inevitable, growing old is a choice. There is always more to learn, more to experience, risks to take. The choice is yours.
My comment is a short essay I would have submitted to the contest. It's a chapter in a book I wrote for my kids and grand kids. The chapter answers the question, "Who is the wisest person you've ever met and what did you learn from them?" I'm new to the Free Press and missed the submission phase. I appreciate the indulgence of anyone who chooses to read this narrative.
* * * * * * * *
If you’ve read other chapters in this book, it will be no surprise that I can’t pick just one “wisest person” I’ve known – I have a hard time picking “one” of anything from my life. I’ve tried to learn from many people and learn both, ways TO live and ways NOT TO live my life. Nonetheless, I’m going to share what I’ve learned from just “one” person, Otto, the man who taught me to sail.
Otto picked me; I did not pick him. Our relationship and my love of sailing literally began with, “Hey kid; come here.” It was a very simple and friendly appeal for a crew when I was about 13 years old, and I had no idea of the profound impact it would make on my life.
Learning to sail put me on Lake Michigan with a much older, childless man who could not have been more eager to share with me what he had learned about sailing, and life. Lake Michigan is a big body of water that deserves respect. I became comfortable with big water at a young age, and I think that is largely because Otto taught me when to enjoy it and when to avoid it. “Discretion is the better part of valor” was Otto’s first sailing lesson. In retrospect, that time on the water with Otto now seems magical.
Otto’s was a racing sailboat, a Star, the oldest Olympic Class, one-design boat at the time. When we were finished racing and had extra time, he often asked me sail the boat around the harbor. This may not sound like anything special, or even interesting but I now can’t imagine a better way to learn to sail, to learn about myself, and to learn some life lessons. He would give me a goal, a point to take him to on the other side of the harbor (this was Jackson Park Outer Harbor in Chicago, still in use). I had to consider where I was, where I wanted to finish, wind direction, and what obstacles I had to negotiate, obstacles both moving and moored. With this information I formulated a plan for a series of short sailing legs (it's not a big harbor) that would get me to the goal, and I executed it. Otto did whatever I told him to do, he made no corrections and gave no advice while I was in control of the boat. I soon realized, almost without thinking about it, that I was constantly measuring and evaluating my plan to see if it was still good and was taking me where I wanted to go. Early on, I sometimes had to change my plan because I simply didn’t know enough about how the wind, the boat and the waves worked together. As I learned, my plans became more efficient – arriving at the goal with fewer tacks and in less time. As I improved further, I “pushed” my plans to take more advantage of the boat’s capability and speed. Plans that I “pushed” had new lessons for me; I learned where I needed to build in a safety factor or consider an escape route because other boats didn’t know my plan, and occasionally, when I needed to completely “bail-out” and start over. I remember feeling a growing sense of accomplishment as I learned to sail through the harbor. The first time I tried, it seemed daunting, and I was more than a little unsure of myself. By the time Otto and I were done sailing together this seemed like child’s play, and I was proud of my ability to sail the boat on my own.
I have never forgotten those lessons. I credit them with helping me take on new challenges in all phases of my life, things I had not done before. Otto knew exactly what he was doing. He gave me a set of skills for problem solving and the confidence to “jump-into” something new and figure-it-out as I went along. He gave me experience making decisions and plans, measuring intermediate outcomes and then, sticking with the original plan or making a new one and putting it in play.
I can’t think of better lessons for an adolescent to learn, and I’m always thrilled when I see kids learning to sail. And I should make it clear that I think sailing is only one of many, many ways for kids to learn these lessons. The trick is to find an activity for which they have genuine interest. Then, with a little guidance the rest will almost take care of itself - sailing just happens to be tailor made for these life lessons. And yes, I'm still sailing on Lake Michigan out of Chicago Harbors with my family and friends; some habits can't be unlearned.
There were plenty of other bits of wisdom and knowledge that Otto shared. He was a successful entrepreneur on the South Side of Chicago who started life as an orphan. Probably his favorite “pearl” - the one I heard doled out most often to anyone who would listen - was, “the harder I worked the luckier I got”; he had a smile and a little “cackle” that usually went along with that one. But the sailing lessons were certainly the most impactful on me and the “wisdom” that I have reflected on for most of my life. I’m glad you asked this question ,and that I had the opportunity to share this life story.
Disappointing essays. Embarrassed my age group if those are the "best".....and I live in rural Montana! Hoping that the winning essay tomorrow makes up for these.
The bee lady found comfort and joy watching an innocent child mesmerized by nature. Yesterday I had similar feelings sharing the enthusiasm watching my grandchildren unwrapping their Christmas presents. Of the other two one wants to live closer to rattlesnakes and the whines about his 95 year old mother. They sound like pronoun people.
At 71 years and 42 years into my second marriage (my first was to a fellow medical student, lasted only through med school, and I chalk it up as the worst mistake of my life and, simultaneously, the best lesson) I can say without fear of being proved wrong that there is a reason some things are timeless. Like fashion, they may periodically fall in or out of favor, but inevitably they are rekindled, over and over, like an inexhaustible ember that can periodically be brought back to flame by a small, favorable puff of wind. The reason, I believe, is that they uniquely suit our innate nature. Some call this God-given while others ascribe it to some poorly understood natural law. I am with the former. These are exactly those things mentioned in these three wonderful essays: the preciousness of time taken to rest, reflect, and enjoy the natural world; the ultimately unsatisfying nature of living with continuous comfort and convenience; and the otherworldy contentment that can only come after decades living with your soulmate. A very nice piece with which to enter the New Year. Wishing all a Happy, Healthy, Peaceful, and Blessed New Year!
Life is fairly difficult, and people often get in their own way. They get wound up about things they cannot control, people who are ruining things from the way they were to they way they are, and put a lot of emphasis in pushing down what makes them suffer.
The thing is, we need suffering. As it comes from Proverbs, iron sharpens iron. The refining process of maturity and experience is what guides you through life between the difficulties and the good times—feast and famine.
Know your values, use them to guide you, and stick to them. It won’t make all troubles go away, but being true to them will help make navigating the path easier. Don’t be too idealistic, ignore or hide your problems, or make excuses for others. The snake just comes back bigger down the road, and it’s rattle gets louder. Recognize predatory people, develop your own insights into yourself, and don’t use others for selfish gain. Take the time to develop hobbies and interests, be intentional and interested in who people are, not just what they can do for you. And always be kind, even if you don’t like the person; some people just have bad days, and sometimes you’re the reason people stop and change because you acted differently than everyone else around them.
I once took a wine class and the sommelier said good wines tend to not come from regions with great soil - wherever vegetables would grow really well, tend to not make excellent grapes. Grapes need to suffer a little bit to be interesting.
And I thought, yes - just like people. Those who lead a life without any suffering are usually the least dimensional. Suffering is in fact an enriching experience.
But only the right amount of suffering. Too much suffering and you're liable to turn into a sick weirdo.
(Just a little humor.... I think you made a good point.)
True. One should aim somewhere halfway between “my Starbucks ran out of caramel drizzle” and “my mother would lock me in a closet with dead animals as a toddler and now I’m a serial killer”.
Would you dare to define that exact measure of suffering that makes people interesting but does not break them or makes their life unbearable?
Anthropomorphising doesn't help. Where is getting pissed on Maslow's Hierachy of Needs? Of course the best wines grow on poor soil. 90% of folk will like roughly the same things. We like the wines that grow in those soil conditions, they were accidently adapted to our palette, and we were conditioned to them.
Peter Parker is Spiderman and Miles Morales is Miles Morales for the same reason. Populate your company with the ten percent and you'll never break out from a niche market. Transition(sic!) Disney from the 90% to the Ten Percent and you'll be wondering why the fuck you are going broke and folk are staying away in droves.
"Suffering is in fact an enriching experience." When given lemons; make lemonade - or as here, invent masochism. Transforming crucifixion into an imaginary salvic experience is the same deal. We like our just so stories; it doesn't actually make them so.
I’m having so much trouble following this reply. My point is, having experienced suffering in one’s life may instill resilience, perspective, and reinforce adaptive behaviors. Have you ever talked to someone who hasn’t suffered at all, ever? It’s difficult to uphold the conversation. What does someone who lives like a cushioned house cat have to offer? I know a few house wives to wealthy men who fit this bill. Like Pai Mai said in Kill Bill, all they’re good at is ordering at restaurants and spending their husbands money.
Obviously extremes of suffering aren’t what I’m talking about. A little suffering.
Maybe if common sense was inherited there wouldn’t so many idiots.
Agreed. Things that are difficult are most often the ones worthwhile.
Yes, because you know that you’ve had to work for it, and you’ve EARNED it. I was drawn to athletic pursuits for that very reason, despite being of average ability (good, but not really gifted) -- pushing yourself to run a marathon, or to backpack long distances in harsh terrain requires focus and discipline, as well as physical discomfort, and the feeling of accomplishment afterwards is part of how people mature psychologically.
Not to inject politics, but the replacement of merit by “identity” essentially undermines the process of earning things, and is interfering with young people’s development.
Well said.
No "average" people make the cut? I would be more impressed if an average housewife/husband submitted an approved essay, or maybe a factory worker, or someone in retail sales. And why not someone in law enforcement or working in social settings? I am sure that these people are worthy, but they have no connection to ME, and their lessons do not resonate. Sorry.
lI agree, Robert (Bob? Rob?) I had no thought of inventing a better mouse trap, writing a novel, growing a prize-winning anything....just going day to day and doing what came naturally, alone, with friends, taking care of my husband and............reading.....all the books I missed and some new ones and remembering.......all the good times.
When I read the semi-finalists entries, I quickly realized my little ditty about my parents (with eight children) hosting foreign exchange students was not foreign enough. So, I just posted it to my boring Substack page. (Five wives..? I gotta get out more...)
This forum has a couple of weirdnesses that conspire against the people that you describe having heard about the essay contest. Personally? in Mid October I was being ritually poisoned every other week at an infusion center. Even were that not the case (and had I noticed the invite; I don't recall -- the chemobrain was a Thing by then) I would have been hard pressed to identify One Event. Beyond that, I'm pretty sure that Most of Us did not have Road to Emmaus moments. So rare events in a skewed population? Kinda looks like a path to that which occurred -- to me, anyway.
Sorry to hear about your chemo...more suffering than anyone needs. Hopefully it will be in the rear view mirror very soon.
Thanks! Poisonings done but one of those warnings that kinda got brushed aside at the time was that the stuff they put in for months also takes months to work its way out. (This is NOT a bid for sympathy; more a PSA.) Anyone faced with chemo needs to expect certain things that about which your oncologist will try to warn you; a few I didn't very well internalize: First, the effects -- and they are legion -- build. For the first half dozen treatments, I was out working a few days afterward; then... (bad joke alert) most of us want to avoid STDs; I asked for one (as in Short Term Disability; one of those Corporate Bennies that I never thought that I'd need). Next, the particular effect-set that one experiences can literally vary by the hour. And finally, the run-off period that I already noted. (As with such as dieting and exercise, chemo is (relatively) short term pain/long term gain -- a tough sell in the moment but not having cancer is... way cool.)
Hope you're not sorry that you responded. A happy new year to ya.
This IS TFP; expecting refugees from the Gray Lady to suddenly not to be of an anathema demographic is magical thinking. They are steps closer to sobriety, enough that I'll probably renew my sub, but they've a ways to go yet. Besides the only rag you and I would be satisfied with would be the one we wrote ourselves and I'm sure you'd hate mine and I'd pobably hate yours. ;-)
Good point, Steven. It does make me wonder, though, what kind of people habituate this site. Is it elites, upper-middle-class professionals, escapees from the NYT sewer? Certainly, there are averages shlubs such as I. But where are their contributions? Now that I say this, I am sure that some of these "educated" and "professional" types will maintain that THEY are everyday people because that is how they see themselves. I would be more interested in hearing from those who are wrestling with everyday expenses, or struggling to raise families in a hostile environment, or perhaps teachers who are swimming against the tide of a "woke" environment. What are the life lessons that THEY might impart? I realize that this essay contest was for those over 70, as am I, and are no doubt retired, so I guess that I'll just take it for what it is. Not ALL 70-year-olds are living on investments, generous retirement schemes, or 401K's, PLUS collecting Social Security. Some of us are still working part time to augment our S.S. dole.
I do wonder sometimes who the key clientele are for this site. I think TFP wants it to be NYT-adjacent elites and urban professionals and sometimes seems slightly resentful that many of its readers are "everyday blue-collar shlubs".
I am an RN who retired at 75... working full time..... still worried about $future.....
Regular shlub here lol. I’m 61, a nurse, and praying to retire at 70. Which means I’ll only work 1 to 2 days a week lol
Vickie, when you have a career that is in continuous demand, working 1 or 2 days a week for some extra cash is actually quite satisfying. After 46 years in my lowbrow, blue collar service job, I decided to retire at 71 years of age, but after 6 months I became shiftless and bored. So, on a whim, I went to a local trade establishment of my former profession and spoke with the owner. I hadn't even finished my pitch when he said, "You can choose your own hours." He hired me on the spot! Now, the extra cash (they pay weekly! WOW!) eases the stress of a stress-free retirement. The beauty of it is that I don't NEED to work but WANT to work. I am sure that you will find that to be the case as well. Good luck, for the next 10 years!
The fifth time is the charm, apparently. This author is a self-proclaimed work in progress, and seems to find that oh so endearing. I’d like to hear the perspective of his two children, dealing with his life choices.
I fear some unlucky woman will be wife number six.
I would agree with you but then I'd have to listen to my kids' opinion about me
“Bill Hankins from Cordele, Georgia, submitted a beautiful poem. One poignant line read: Peace will begin when expectation ends.”
——————————————————-
Peace will begin when Nikki Haley cashes the final check from Raytheon.
If Haley is as bad as you (and Ramaswamy) say, I don't see it and after thee debates something highly questionable should have surfaced by now.
Perhaps she believes in a strong national defense. Or needs tons of money to run for president and this is the best means for her to raise enough. Would you feel any different if she sat on boards of pharma companies?
Either way I'll vote for her, or DeSantis, or Trump if he's the nominee, or Daffy Duck if it means we end this disaster we have now in real time.
Haley is right on American foreign policy and her solution to the abortion issue is the most practical of any Republican. One of the first things I learned in law school is that you cannot legislate morality.
I’m with you. I just want to win and maybe, if the stars align and the earth doesn’t stop spin, we can win and throw these and future idiots out!
You believe truth emerges from staged, curated, and partly scripted circumstance? I've got this bridge...
You think she can fool half of America? If she’s that good than she deserves to be president.
No. A Russian victory in Ukraine, which fortunately is not forthcoming, will lead to more war and American combat troops in Europe.
Peace will come between nations when totalitarian ideologies are rejected and all borders are considered inviolable. Peace will come to individuals when we all practice The Golden Rule.
Yes. The Golden Rule and other Judeo-Christian wisdom that has been jettisoned so arrogantly.
I’d taken his quote at an individual level. A Buddhist sort of “letting go”. Or, from my experience in relationships, letting go of the toxic idea that my partner/friend “should” do X. (I know it’s not quite that simple, but this is the Comments section! 🤣)
B S
Yesterday, Ukraine shot down 3 Russian Jets. The detrimental effects on the world’s food supply of Russia’s completely unjustified war on Ukraine have already been overcome. The victor of the wars in Gaza and Ukraine is clear. What remains to be determined is what will be left of the Gaza Strip and Russia.
If we could- eject the evil democrats, end this DEI BS, refund the police, put criminals in jail. Correct our school and university systems, correct our voting system, Eliminate BLM, this list is endless.
I do wish they had included the poem.....sounds very promising..
They were all kind of a bust. Gives my age cohort a thumbs down, but I know that have many of us have lived and continue to live deep and meaningful lives
Yes, we do sound dull. But you are right.
Let us consider George Eliot's closing comment on Dorothea in Middlemarch:
"But the effect of her being on those around her was incalculably diffusive: for the growing good of the world is partly dependent on unhistoric acts; and that things are not so ill with you and me as they might have been is half owing to the number who lived faithfully a hidden life, and rest in unvisited tombs."
My life has turned out different from what I imagined it would, when I was young and heroic and life lay before me. It might even be that I have done some good. I know I have not always behaved well, but there isn't one injury I've done to others that I do not remember acutely and with regret.
I told one of my classes once, when the topic came up, that I rarely remember the times others have hurt my feelings, but I always remember when I hurt theirs.
Wisdom
Thanks for the observation from Middlemarch. Is it the narrator's or the authorial voice? It appeals to folk who read Elliot and the Grauniad and you. But remember; you could swap evil in and it would be saying the same thing. I doubt anything that appeals to The Guardian and its' readers. Your remark about feelings is anecdote; and besides, giving a stuff for fee fees is large part of why we find our selves in the mire. Remember and worry about the actual harms, if any, you might have done and learn from those.
I don't read The Guardian, nor do I know for a fact that Middlemarch appeals to its readership. Does Middlemarch appeal to anyone anymore?
Nor did I ever use my students as confessors. That's for teachers who think they're their students' friends. I found it sufficient to toss out a nugget and move on, and hope some were fast enough to find some good in it.
In regretting a thing, one learns (unless terminally blockheaded) not to repeat it. As the Greeks said, μαθαίν πάθειv. Or something like that.
The authorial voice and narrator are really the same in this novel, I think. I should reread it.
Well written stories all. At 76, there are far fewer days behind me than ahead. The one lesson I take away is that while aging is inevitable, growing old is a choice. There is always more to learn, more to experience, risks to take. The choice is yours.
Growing old is inevitable. If you are lucky.
That depends, largely, on one's health and financial curcumstances.
No doubt, although it is, as always, relative. Think of Helen Keller or Steven Hawking.
As long as you don't combine poverty with bad health, you've got a chance, although there are probably even exceptions to that.
The young people's essays were much more interesting
I vote for the Australian lady
I liked her too.
“She has a master’s degree and wrote a thesis on W. G. Sebald’s novel Austerlitz. Her hobbies include oil painting, writing, and walking.”
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Hillary Clinton has degrees from Yale and Wellesley and her hobbies include selling adrenochrome and polishing her hooves.
And drinking to excess and spreading hatred for those who don’t agree with her.
My comment is a short essay I would have submitted to the contest. It's a chapter in a book I wrote for my kids and grand kids. The chapter answers the question, "Who is the wisest person you've ever met and what did you learn from them?" I'm new to the Free Press and missed the submission phase. I appreciate the indulgence of anyone who chooses to read this narrative.
* * * * * * * *
If you’ve read other chapters in this book, it will be no surprise that I can’t pick just one “wisest person” I’ve known – I have a hard time picking “one” of anything from my life. I’ve tried to learn from many people and learn both, ways TO live and ways NOT TO live my life. Nonetheless, I’m going to share what I’ve learned from just “one” person, Otto, the man who taught me to sail.
Otto picked me; I did not pick him. Our relationship and my love of sailing literally began with, “Hey kid; come here.” It was a very simple and friendly appeal for a crew when I was about 13 years old, and I had no idea of the profound impact it would make on my life.
Learning to sail put me on Lake Michigan with a much older, childless man who could not have been more eager to share with me what he had learned about sailing, and life. Lake Michigan is a big body of water that deserves respect. I became comfortable with big water at a young age, and I think that is largely because Otto taught me when to enjoy it and when to avoid it. “Discretion is the better part of valor” was Otto’s first sailing lesson. In retrospect, that time on the water with Otto now seems magical.
Otto’s was a racing sailboat, a Star, the oldest Olympic Class, one-design boat at the time. When we were finished racing and had extra time, he often asked me sail the boat around the harbor. This may not sound like anything special, or even interesting but I now can’t imagine a better way to learn to sail, to learn about myself, and to learn some life lessons. He would give me a goal, a point to take him to on the other side of the harbor (this was Jackson Park Outer Harbor in Chicago, still in use). I had to consider where I was, where I wanted to finish, wind direction, and what obstacles I had to negotiate, obstacles both moving and moored. With this information I formulated a plan for a series of short sailing legs (it's not a big harbor) that would get me to the goal, and I executed it. Otto did whatever I told him to do, he made no corrections and gave no advice while I was in control of the boat. I soon realized, almost without thinking about it, that I was constantly measuring and evaluating my plan to see if it was still good and was taking me where I wanted to go. Early on, I sometimes had to change my plan because I simply didn’t know enough about how the wind, the boat and the waves worked together. As I learned, my plans became more efficient – arriving at the goal with fewer tacks and in less time. As I improved further, I “pushed” my plans to take more advantage of the boat’s capability and speed. Plans that I “pushed” had new lessons for me; I learned where I needed to build in a safety factor or consider an escape route because other boats didn’t know my plan, and occasionally, when I needed to completely “bail-out” and start over. I remember feeling a growing sense of accomplishment as I learned to sail through the harbor. The first time I tried, it seemed daunting, and I was more than a little unsure of myself. By the time Otto and I were done sailing together this seemed like child’s play, and I was proud of my ability to sail the boat on my own.
I have never forgotten those lessons. I credit them with helping me take on new challenges in all phases of my life, things I had not done before. Otto knew exactly what he was doing. He gave me a set of skills for problem solving and the confidence to “jump-into” something new and figure-it-out as I went along. He gave me experience making decisions and plans, measuring intermediate outcomes and then, sticking with the original plan or making a new one and putting it in play.
I can’t think of better lessons for an adolescent to learn, and I’m always thrilled when I see kids learning to sail. And I should make it clear that I think sailing is only one of many, many ways for kids to learn these lessons. The trick is to find an activity for which they have genuine interest. Then, with a little guidance the rest will almost take care of itself - sailing just happens to be tailor made for these life lessons. And yes, I'm still sailing on Lake Michigan out of Chicago Harbors with my family and friends; some habits can't be unlearned.
There were plenty of other bits of wisdom and knowledge that Otto shared. He was a successful entrepreneur on the South Side of Chicago who started life as an orphan. Probably his favorite “pearl” - the one I heard doled out most often to anyone who would listen - was, “the harder I worked the luckier I got”; he had a smile and a little “cackle” that usually went along with that one. But the sailing lessons were certainly the most impactful on me and the “wisdom” that I have reflected on for most of my life. I’m glad you asked this question ,and that I had the opportunity to share this life story.
Disappointing essays. Embarrassed my age group if those are the "best".....and I live in rural Montana! Hoping that the winning essay tomorrow makes up for these.
95% of everything is "crap". In English, put anything beside the Bills Shakespeare and Tyndale and it'll be found wanting.
Ouch. Yeah, I agree with the comments that these are essentially unserious essays. 70 year old HS sophomores from that awful 1960s era. (I’m 65, btw).
Oh well. You’re entitled to the occasional whiff.
The bee lady found comfort and joy watching an innocent child mesmerized by nature. Yesterday I had similar feelings sharing the enthusiasm watching my grandchildren unwrapping their Christmas presents. Of the other two one wants to live closer to rattlesnakes and the whines about his 95 year old mother. They sound like pronoun people.
At 71 years and 42 years into my second marriage (my first was to a fellow medical student, lasted only through med school, and I chalk it up as the worst mistake of my life and, simultaneously, the best lesson) I can say without fear of being proved wrong that there is a reason some things are timeless. Like fashion, they may periodically fall in or out of favor, but inevitably they are rekindled, over and over, like an inexhaustible ember that can periodically be brought back to flame by a small, favorable puff of wind. The reason, I believe, is that they uniquely suit our innate nature. Some call this God-given while others ascribe it to some poorly understood natural law. I am with the former. These are exactly those things mentioned in these three wonderful essays: the preciousness of time taken to rest, reflect, and enjoy the natural world; the ultimately unsatisfying nature of living with continuous comfort and convenience; and the otherworldy contentment that can only come after decades living with your soulmate. A very nice piece with which to enter the New Year. Wishing all a Happy, Healthy, Peaceful, and Blessed New Year!
Very narrow perspectives and demographic. Not enlightening or moving or poignant.
Moving to Montana soon. Gonna be a dental floss tycoon.
😊
LOL!