Thanks. It's all I need to make life perfect, but having got out of two marriages with my skin intact, until some things change it looks 'way too risky.
My advice would be to run a test. If you meet someone who has no problem with you spending quality time with your children, just you and them together, and she has no hang ups with your necessary interactions with the mother of your children, you may have a keeper. Otherwise run a mile.
The other proviso is she must demonstrate these traits over a period of time, say one year, or four seasons.
That is whatvpre-nups are for. And a worthwhile potential mate will recognize that. But in addition to dance class, cooking classes or groups could be a goldmine.
Think you could give Suzy some advice to, the man she is looking for hasn’t been born yet. Just reading her NYR’s she is to self absorbed and if she continues with that kind of attitude she will remain unengaged for 2024. Wishing her much mazel for 2024 in her search for a good decent man.
Skinny, I usually agree with you but not today about Suzy. Of course we don’t actually know her but I for one am her greatest fan. The world is full of perfectly nice young women but they are rarely amusing and intelligent. Special Suzy will find her “beshert” next year, he exists and now that she is ready, he is on his way.
Vivian I hope Suzy recognizes him - I never said she wasn’t charming, amusing and intelligent, I said she needs to change her attitude if she wants to meet her “beshert”, especially as you put it “he is on his way” Please God we hear good news of an engagement!
at the age of 67, newly single, learning to dance, & writing my criteria for my on-line dating profile, one was that the guy had to love to dance 👍. So now, 6 yrs later, married, loving to dance, a little bit ballroom, but mostly country, triple swing & West Coast!
Ballroom dance classes, you'll be the sought after 😉
Thanks! I might try that! A friend and his wife are big Swingers (West Coast, that is) and lassoed me into a beginner's class. It was lots of fun, and indeed a target-rich environment.
WCS is almost the most fun you can have in public without risking arrest. (Argentine Tango is in the #1 spot but required skill level is significantly greater). Good leads who take care of their follows are always very much in demand (they talk to each other between dances).
I like West Coast and Two-Step. East Coast swing has too many full rotations and my dance partner (my wife) got dizzy with them all. We still save a few of those moves for weddings.
Or you can get Bari to start an old fashioned singles seeking single (empty nesters addition) for the FP, since like good journalism, the rest of the world wants to pretend we don’t exist.
Don't bother with Astaire, he's brilliant all right but always always the same, like a diamond, glittering, unchanging, unchangeable. It is Rogers that reveals mood and emotion and sets the tone of all the dances with Astaire. Fred never afterward even approached the level of romantic dance they achieve with "Smoke Gets in Your Eyes," never reaches the very imagery of love seen in that profound swirling lift in "The Last Waltz" -- nor farcical dances either, like "Hard to Handle" or "The Yam" -- and it's because he never had another partner capable of performing at that level.
Don't believe me? Watch her films where she dances *without* Astaire - "Upperworld," "In Person," "Roxie Hart" and "Lady in the Dark" - unbelievably great, one of the two models for all dancing ever since.
I can read; I can't cook. Reminds me of what the Chair of math at a local college told me: there is a thing called "mathematical maturity" that only comes to juniors and seniors - and occasionally to brilliant younger students - whereby with experience you pick up new concepts much easier and quicker. I need to get that Cooking Maturity, and there is no shortcut. I just need to get in the game and light up the stove. (Don't tell the alleged president I have propane...)
Jim, There is a actually a book called "The 4 ingredient Cookbook" (still in print on Amazon). I gave it to my son many years ago. He still uses it! Cooking for yourself is MORE IMPORTANT than cooking for others. You are worth it.
You have to have passion about it to cook well. Start with Leeanne's recommendation for 4 ingredient recipes then when you can do those well branch out. Cooking really is a joy.
Cooking is art, science and love all manifest in beautiful nourishment that can reflect your diners (victims?), what's growing, the weather, what have you. It's an absolute joy.
Cooking is rule-following and a satisfying endgame for some. It is joy, passion, color, flavors, pleasure, artistry, improvisation, and presentation to others. I say figure out what exactly it is about cooking that makes you want to master it and go from there!
Erm, not sure I’d agree with that entirely, P Roth. I know myriad people, including my daughter, who can read very well, they just have no real desire to cook. Maybe if you can read you can manage to rustle up a meal, but becoming a cook is another matter.
That’s exactly what my dad told my mom! She never became the cook my grandma (her mother) was, but she could bake up a storm, and her desserts were in demand at potlucks, family gatherings, and other events. I have fond memories of coming home from school to the smell of fresh baked bread.
If you don’t want to go to the phillipines but want companionship from there, you can call “customer service” of any corporation in America and you’ll get all the Filipino accents you want and more!
I've worked with Filipinos for over 30 years and have never had a bad experience. Two weeks ago I spent about 20 minutes chatting with a cust. service lady - and wasting her time, unfortunately - after identifying her accent as from Manila. Lovely, lovely people.
More so with some cultures than others. Thailand, Philippines, while well educated and decent people, are poor countries. Who can point a finger of blame for wanting a better life for your family though, not me.
An insight. If you want a friend be a friend. If you want a wife be a friend. Enjoy the amazing rewards of friendship. Its about other's. Relinquish the self. Solomon phrased it as cast your bread upon the water. What did Solomon mean?
If you are 35 you'd probably mean it; since you are twice that even mentioning abandoning hope probably means your heart of heart hasn't. :- ) Having said that "abandoning" expecting things does seem to have the expected thing fall in your lap having given up. I think it is to do with you drop self-sabotage too! All the best.
I'm seventy. Un-be-f'in-lievable. I was eighteen three weeks ago. My dad said that you'd think that as you age, your mind would age, too, but it doesn't. Man was he on the money.
Well Jim...I can't argue with this experience as your describe it. I do have a friend who is now in the best relationship of her life, at 70. Her daughter bumped into her 4th grade teacher and he asked her about her mom. The rest is history. Apparently they both had a thing for each other when he was her kids' teacher. Love isn't an age limited activity. Again, you sound like a lovely guy and I say that from your post and interactions in the thread. Here is to 2024 for all of us!
Still, if that's how you honestly feel ("too risky") maybe you are doing a favor to any women that you might interact with IRL.
Still (#2), if you take up the "learn some ballroom dancing" resolution, you just may be surprised. Keep your eyes, your heart, and esp your brain engaged. You never know!
Scan those photos and save to an external hard drive then they can both have all of them. It's kind of a fun mindless job and if you have Photos (Mac) you can date and fill in a description for each photo.
I use Macs exclusively. My older brother lost his entire cache (three times!) of family pictures he had on PCs due to viruses, and despite expert help could never recover them. I have never used an antiviral and never had a virus. Ever. And believe me, I have gone places on the Internet where the brave fear to tread.
The big thing I have to do is to purge some darling but racy pictures sent to me by some friends who own an adult Website and to purge all pictures of my second wife. Pretty easy to do, since Photos supports facial recognition/removal. Just have to make sure I got them all.... shouldn't take too long.
I'll expose the right and maybe, just maybe you will learn to cook healthy food, that makes you feel better, and find a Grove of green in Spring. It worked for me. May the Lord do for you what he did for me. Joy, joy, joy! Sing with me, Rejoice!
Re. #4, channel David Carradine in “Kung Fu”: instead of trying to capture a butterfly, let it land on your shoulder.
Corny, but I do know from painful experience that if you want a wife badly, that’s how things will end! My second wife was a joyful surprise that has been my grace for over 20 years, now. Focus on doing things that you like to do and enrich your life, and things will come to you.
“Ya gotta park your taco truck where the fat folks sit!” 😀
Look for a partner vs. a wife and try as best you can not to stress over it. Very often when eyes focus away from the goal, things happen. Keep your sense of humor, though, because many women I've known look for that in a partner. Kindness, gentleness, confidence, and patience -- ingredients for success. And by all means, know how to cook!
I made my resolution early this year. In October I vowed to be less angry, sad, and political. To that end, I got Daisy, a three-month old puppy. She’s as apolitical as they come. She forces me to walk a few miles a day. And she always has a smile on her face. Wish I could post a picture. Happy 2024, y’all.
Henry died suddenly and unexpectedly in September at the too young age of 10. It's taken until now for me to think of him without tearing up (I'm a wuss). It's time to get another puppy but we just can't bring ourselves to do it yet. I'm so glad you found Daisy to love!
My 10 year-old Wicket died, also suddenly and unexpectedly, in October. He was my constant and endearing companion, especially after my retirement from the practice of law two years ago. I’ve had many wonderful dogs throughout the years, but his death hit especially hard, despairing as I already was at watching everything I’ve believed in and worked for all my life destroyed. I didn’t want another dog; I just wanted Wicket back.
I lasted two months. We will get our new dog, a 1 year-old neglected rescue, next week after she is finally spayed. Sometimes, you just have to take a leap of faith. After all, heartache is the price we inevitably have to pay for loving. And so life goes on.
Thank you for adopting a rescue...and after having one dog at a time for most of our lives, we have now found that having two is even better!!! So maybe get another one from your shelter who is a little older...the older ones seem to get passed over and there are so many good ones waiting to be a sibling to your new pup! We were not looking to replace our Bear, but when Cookie arrived at the shelter that we volunteer for, I couldn't resist this old girl...arthritic, deaf, cloudy vision, but with a stalwart heart who was ready to get out of that cold kennel and go for walks. She is a great companion for me and for my rescue Lab, Lucy, who was missing Bear.
Yes, thank you. I know that loss is the price of love when it comes to dogs. Both love and loss make life richer and more beautiful in their own ways. I am sorry for your loss. May Wicket's memory always be a blessing.
My friends, empty nesters, lost their golden retriever, and within weeks had adopted another. Their youngest son, at the time a newly employed attorney at a large firm (and all that brings), stated his objection that it was disrespectful to Max that they adopted so soon.
I told the son that they didn’t get the puppy to replace Max, but they got her to replace you. In perspective, he agreed.
You’re not a wuss. We get very attached to our pets. It took me months to get over the death of my 18 year old cat, Joan. She was very affectionate. She would sit on my lap and when it was time to go to bed, she would go down the hallway and call for me.
We had Jockey who was just like your Joan. He was ancient when we got him from the shelter and he lived another six years. He was like a dog in almost every way minus the outside trips. In fact, we got Henry shortly after Jockey passed away.
I am so sorry. As Terence says, you’re not a wuss at all. Our greatest reluctance to getting a dog was the thought of losing her. The joy she brings eclipses that.
How about volunteering to walk dogs at your local animal shelter? There are an abundant number of pups to walk and you don't have to adopt (yet) and you get to meet so many wonderful dogs who need that human interaction! Walking dogs and helping the overworked shelter staff is super therapeutic too. Almost 99% of the dogs are in the shelter because of owner problems, not doggie problems...divorce, death, moving, job loss...just tragic for the dogs and owners so any help you can give to a "stranded shelter pet" is so appreciated by these love sponges!!!
And the argument many give that it would break their heart to see the dogs and they would want to take them all home (all of us volunteers want to do just that) so they can't volunteer is basically flawed...it is because they have a heart that would break that will make the person a terrific volunteer...we volunteers realize that by socializing the dogs we are giving them a chance to find a forever home...walking them, taking them out to adoption events, to the Farmer's Market on a "day-outing" (we call them "Day Fosters" at our shelter), feeding them dog treats, taking them to the play yards and playing catch or tug of war, basically any interaction that can help build trust will help. You can make a tremendous difference! and just maybe, find your next dog!
the loss of a dog is always sad but I say. the best way to heal that hurt is to get another dog. that is what your last dog would want. a great home like yours/
Our attachment to dogs predates agriculture. (Dogs were domesticated from wolves over 20,000 years ago. Agriculture was developed 12,000 years ago.) So dogs have been our companions and co-evolved with us for a very long time. Our emotional attachment to them is intense and immensely valuable. So there is never a need to apologize or explain your grief at the loss of your beloved four-footed buddy. Be well, and when the time is right, let a new dog adopt you.
Two years ago our neighbors lost their 13 yo Boston terrier the day after Labor Day. I don’t know why, but they were slated to pick up a BT puppy that coming weekend.
I asked how the pup got along with their 13 yo cocker spaniel, and was told they had about 15 minutes together before they lost Sophie.
The point: Charlie has kept them so busy and amused they haven’t had time to feel sad.
On my daily walks with my large dog I see lots of younger women with small dogs. I wonder whether these women also have mates. Responsible dog owners walk their dogs, It is the definition of win/win.
Speaking of dogs...I made an announcement to my husband yesterday that a goal I have is to vacuum everyday, hopefully twice a day, our chocolate lab’s hair on our hardwoods. I’m serious. We usually vacuum every few days so we aren’t that disgusting. Like most people, we are tired from working so I don’t want to go to the effort. I HATE to vacuum but I guess I don’t know anyone that LOVES to vacuum. I’ve read good reviews on an iRobot Roomba but I’d rather spend $500+ on other things like clothes 😊
Dogs and kids teach us so many life lessons. We bought a roomba, but more importantly learned to come to peace with dog hair on our clothes and everywhere. My hound is my guru. Ommm. :-)
They sure do. Children teach us to give unconditional love..dogs give it to us! We had golden retrievers before our precious chocolate lab. You're correct about accepting the dog hair everywhere...we came to that place long ago but they are so worth it.
Oh my gosh, do I sympathize. We have a 130 pound black lab. It is always hot or cold so he is now pretty much an indoor dog. Labs shed their body weight each year! I have found that putting rugs under his hu-u-u-ge memory foam.bad helps a lot.
My Shark robot kept our floors furless when we had our St. Bernard and Lab (both rescues!)...we had a setting where it would run daily when we were out walking the dogs so it worked really well! Unbelievable amount of fur those dogs could shed in 24 hours!!!
see this is what bothers me. why mention "rescues" do they shed more? why let the world know what a "hero " you are. if you want a great dog buy one from a super breeder that health tests their breeding stock. You wont get the "halo effect" but you will get a dog that has been raised correctly and usually you will have a life line to any problems you may have and your questions answered..throughout the life of your dog.. am a dog breeder and judge.( for honesty purposes). If you will accept an older dog. choose your breed carefully and inquit=re if the breeder has any older dogs to place.. many times they do
Don't need or want a halo, just have a heart...also, far from a hero, but it is important to let people who want dogs know that there are just so many who need homes in our county and city shelters and pedigree does not matter...it is always about the dogs that need help. Sorry that you are so offended by mutts..
Good for you. I love rescues. Something lovely about seeing an animal flourish. Pedigreed people animals and people are not my style. I love mutts because I am one.
Talking to a friend a few months ago, he said his wife said that Sunday would be spent watching football. I suggested he tell her that he was planning on vacuuming.
nope. mixed breeds can be fine pets.. but no one has proved that "mutts" are any healthier than pure breds.. and a ;pure bred dog has traits that are bred into them. like working dogs.. terriers .. smaller companion dogs.. etc. do not expect your border collie to sit on the couch. do not expect your Pekinese to herd sheep.. fit your dog to your neeeds and theirs
Yes and no. Many pure breeds are known for particular health issues as a result of selective breeding. Not breeding for the health problem but breeding dogs that have the health problem for other traits. Golden receivers for example have high rates of cancer. I am not anti-purebred BTW.
Good advice, if it's important to you to know what you are getting into. I have a german shepherd and I spent many months reading and researching about the breed and to find a good breeder before committing. I think it is super important to find a breeder who is passionate about preserving and bettering the breed and who does the relevant health and temperament testing. Temperament is so important, especially when you are dealing with a dog who is capable of bringing down a full grown man. Training is so important, but if you start out with bad genetics, you can get overwhelmed by the problems you will face!
Rescued is my favorite breed! I volunteer at our local county animal shelter and there is an abundance of love to give and receive! Lots of German Shepherds, 2 Belgian Malinois, Huskies, Pitties, Terriers, etc. and Akitas (my favorite is regal Yoshi who is the best and needs a home soon...so lonely after his daughter was adopted and the family who adopted her did not want two dogs :( Walking dogs and helping the overworked shelter staff is super therapeutic, especially for ANYBODY!
I support our local shelter. NOT the NGO's like the HSUS, ASPCA and the dreaded PETAphiles. however the best way to keep dogs out of shelters is to buy one from a good breeder who has a purchase contract
What do you have against the Humane Society and SPCA? And why would you call PETA criminal sexual deviants?
The best way to keep dogs out of shelters is to adopt them from shelters. Or one could be like Obama, and ignore the shelter in order to buy a boutique breeded dog from a puppy mill.
dog are bred not breeded.. just like large NGO's the HSUS and the ASPCA pay high salaries to their elites and give very little to local shelters.. the HSUS gives less than 1% to local shelters while raking in millions. the ASPCA pays its CEO over 1 mil a year.. and they run just ONE shelter in NYC.. PETAphiles disrupt people going about their business.. attempt to shut down any domestic animal business and kill approx 98% of the animals it claims to "take in" try google but here is a start. www.petakillsanimals.com..PETA killed over 2,000 cats and dogs in 2022, and more than 47,000 animals since 1998.but it is not just about dogs and cats it is about the elimination of ALL domestic food animals.. if everyone bought a dog from a responsible breeder we would not need shelters. I am glad Presidents buy ( or are gifted) ;pure bred dogs. And OB 's dog did not come from a commercial breeder now if i could get Trump to buy a nice dog. it would help his ratings. LOL
He is mixed breed. His dad was a King Shepherd and his mom was a Lab/Border Collie. He is smart, energetic, loving and extremely friendly. He walks away from angry dogs.
glad to hear you are enjoying him ..were his parents health tested for hip dysplasia or collie eye anomaly ? not saying mixed breeds cant be super I have owned a couple myself. so it is not BS. it is just a fact..all mixed breed dogs carry genes for certain disease that they are mixed with.. I ma not sure what a King Shepard is. but I am sure it was a beautiful dog.. dogs make our lives better
We got our Covid puppy Ziggy in 2020 and he has been a delight, except when he barks and tries to chase cars. We had gone without a dog for seven years and did not realize what we had been missing. In a few minutes I will take him on the first of four walks a day. Never forget to take the poop bags.
We went 30 years. In fact, I’m convinced my husband took an expat assignment in Hong Kong so we’d have to off load our dog (another great mutt) on my parents. Three decades later he has conceded Daisy is a delight to have around.
I think if maya sulkin recognizes her therapy is expensive and basically worthless, she should just quit it and use the money for charity. And maybe volunteer at that charity to take her out of herself. Like a veterans charity - like maybe the Semper Fi foundation.
(I unlike Oliver never said I’d give up recommendations)
Happiness comes from serving others, not yourself. We've all heard it and it sounds trite, but it's true. Unwoke, you may have to hang out a shingle and buy a comfortable couch for your patients.
Others. Taking the focus off of the self you ultimately heal nicely. You cannot outgive the universe the more you give the more you receive in so many ways. Serve others.
To me it’s accomplishing your goals. Most would say Musk is successful, but he might argue that he hasn’t yet accomplished his goals. Mother Theresa accomplished her goal of serving the poorest of the poor. For a lot of us, it might be raising responsible children, providing for our families, making our communities a bit better and living lives of integrity. The U.S. is FULL of successful people. I have met many of them, and they are an endless source of inspiration.
I agree. I'll add that perhaps success isn't a destination but a path.
I heard a definition years ago. It struck a chord with me. I'll paraphrase because I'm certain this isn't verbatim but along the lines of success is the progression towards the realization of a worthwhile goal. Once that goal is achieved then another must be established. I'll die trying. Hopefully.
Oh shoot, Unwoke. I meant my reply comment in good fun. Is that called "tongue in cheek?" By the way, I "Semper Fi-ied" for 5 years. 30 years later helped put a TV series about them on the air, even the Commandant made an appearance. Hate to brag, just thought I'd mention it, because YOU'RE SO STRICT!
I will, thank you. I hope you aren’t expecting some piece of literature. It’s a fun poke at Home Owners Associations and the crazy Karens (and Kevins) who think they run the show. Beach reading.
Music brings me much joy. I have no musical talent but I spend time each day listening to my favourite artists. Lately I have been listening to Vera Lynn, especially You Belong To Me. (what an amazing life she led. She died at age 103. And I love Sam Cooke’s version as well. He had a tragic and early end to his life.
My father was born in London, as was I. He was in the British Royal Navy during WWII. He loved Vera Lynn, and I came to love her songs too. When my uncle, my father’s brother, died I gave the eulogy, ending it with the Vera Lynn’s words: “We’ll meet again, don’t know where, don’t know when, but I know we’ll meet again some sunny day.”
I love Sam Cooke, as well as Otis Redding, another talent who lost his life much too early. Think of all the great music that died with them. What a shame.
My resolution is to share a glass of wine and a lot of laughs with the woman that brings so much joy to my Friday mornings, Nellie Bowles. Hey, it could happen.
I don't do resolutions, never have! It is like lying to yourself about things that you know you should change. But let's be honest here, we do what we do because we like it! The "it" may not be productive, or even GOOD for us, but we do it anyway. Only when forced by circumstances beyond our control do we ever change what we do or begin something new in our lives. Planning out your life is a frustrating experience. My idea of retirement was a three-bedroom, two-bathroom house, that my wife of 44 years and I could settle into, WITHOUT a mortgage, and with a car that is paid off and no credit card bills. And we HAVE it! Unfortunately, we also have our 32-year-old daughter and her 10-year-old daughter, PLUS our adopted daughter's half-sister and HER three kids, ALSO living with us! So we are a family of 8 living in a 1600 sq. ft. home, and my wife and I are relegated to maid's duty, with three dogs to boot! This is retirement? The lesson is that no matter what you plan, life ALWAYS intrudes, and forces decisions on you that you may feel totally incapable of making correctly. Ultimately, I am not happy, but my job, and my wife's job, is to make the best of it. And THAT, my friends, is LIFE!
Not sure how "unfortunate" that is. You became an island of refuge to kin who need you. I know it can't be easy but I'll bet you're having experiences that you will miss terribly when they get back on their feet and depart.
We did not get out of the colonial to the one-level living fast enough. Kids keep moving in and out like the front door is a revolving door, but our son and his lovely wife just moved back in and they are expecting in March!!
You sound like a very decent person, the world needs more of it.
I would respectfully suggest though that you don’t become an enabler for people to abrogate their own responsibilities to make their own way in life. It’s easily done when you’re tender hearted.
It's hard when you have a spouse that doesn't share your views, we are dealing with that with a wayward child. I'm ready to go all "tough love" on him, but the husband needs to be on board. He's getting there.
Another complication is that my wife is dealing with bladder cancer, although it is non-invasive with an excellent prognosis. We have a lot going on that makes ANY decision more difficult.
And that is my point, Terrance. The Jewish saying, "Man plans, and God laughs", is quite apt. New Years resolutions are just nibbling at the edges of life, but often times it is the big issues that direct the rest of it. All we can really do is to try our best to carry on, but if we have no basis for direction then we are lost.
I grew up in a three generation home. We are likely to become a three generation home. No regrets about any of it. One of our daughters need help. She will lovingly receive it.
I’m staying in an Airbnb with my family this weekend, and on the wall is a poster that says “I can still remember the days I prayed for all the things I have now.” It hit me in the gut: my husband, our kids, all my family and friends, our home, a medical practice with patients that give me much more than I do them, and last but not least, the workhorse of the car world: my beloved Toyota Camry! Gratitude, every minute, every day, with a healthy side of STFU about the things I let myself complain about. Happy New Year y’all!
Suzi Weiss......If you want to find a good guy, go to where the good guys are. Temple events, Weddings, work out gyms (the work out machines...ask for advice), A fishing class in Colorado, golf lessons, church league mixed softball, picklelball class, upscale grocery produce section, take your time ordering the pizza, Sushi bars are good, Wear make up and smile a lot. Show some leg. Do three of these a week and You should be engaged by Fall.
Blue collar working men will spend more on a present for their woman than the lawyers with fancy watches. I know. I worked in retail for 12 years under a tower filled with lawyers. When there was construction work in the district, those men appeared in the shop. No blue collar ever haggled the price when shopping for his lady; lots of lawyers did.
Exactly! Human to human contact is as old as humankind itself. Love on the internet is a mere blip on the timeline. How have we managed to dismiss all of our animal instincts in such a short time? Answer - they are all still there but remain suppressed by all the new technology. Put down the phone and take-up a woodworking class. And yes, stop dismissing blue collar men and women. Parents, start training your children well instead of outsourcing your responsibilities to Tik Tok and the Department of Education.
My son is 25, sounds just like yours - an engineer and the best young man in the world. Every day when I say my prayers, I ask for him to meet his “beshert” soon. For good measure I pray for her to have heaps of good qualities, including that she should be bright, cheerful and have a sense of humour. Superb Suzy has the last three qualities for sure. Jewish men in their thirties should be lining up for a chance to meet her!
Sure is. My sweet young man (21 yrs old) is so respectful, kind-hearted and funny, but the girls today are a challenge. I hope he finds someone like our daughter, his sister. I'm beyond grateful our daughter has found a man (they're both engineers) that she will spend life with. Constant prayers!
I like this, but have one amendment to the 'wear make up and smile a lot' bit, because I don't think you should do that if it's not genuine. Instead, 'take care of yourself and do what makes you happy.' if you do that, you will look beautiful and you will be smiling ;)
Thanks to Margi for the Tom Lake recommendation. When I was young my mom introduced me to books with the advice that "you'll never be bored or lonely." It was good advice.
One theme in the resolutions, I do find troubling.....the dread and enduring influence of Covid. Am currently reading a Follett novel about, among other things. the plague in the 14th Century. Now THAT was a plague to be feared. The Chinese engineered virus of 2020 was nothing but a psyop designed to mislead and scare the public and make us compliant and docile. Please stop. I never stopped going to restaurants, refused to wear a useless mask and regret falling for the phony vax. The death rate from the Black Plague was well over 1/3. The death rate from Covid - even if you believe the hyped numbers -was below 1%. We we duped by our government, our medical establishment and the Demons of Davos. Stop being scared. Don't be fooled again. Can we all please resolve that 2024 will bring about a smarter, more courageous, more resilient population that questions everything the lying media and our corrupt government spout? Thankfully, we have the Free Press to lead that charge.
The single most alarming thing about the covid was how unquestioning everyone was about what defines a pandemic. That and how flu incidence went from 39,000/year to ZERO. I called bullshit on the whole scam from day one and was considered immoral for not playing along. Screw this government. Screw the whole mass of jell-o that has become the typical American
#MeToo. We never got the shot, booster, booster, booster, booster, booster, booster.
We practiced good hygiene, got fresh air, stayed away from snurflers (just like every year) and each only got Covid once which was like a bad cold.
I never understood why past practices of letting it run wild and fast in the population so it would mutate and lessen faster was just thrown out the window. Well yes, I do, sheep compliance .
I was never an anti vaxxer....if I had a baby right now I can guarantee you I would be much more discriminating as to which shots my baby got. No way in hell would I follow the schedule.
Israel...their data showed quite early the vaccines were ineffective. Also, fast tracked vaccine with a new technology? No, I chose the route of getting Covid and I did so quite purposely. Husband is a Dr, was only a matter of time before he got it as an ENT and he did in Oct 2020 and I refused to isolate from him. I knew I wasn't at risk, very healthy Biker Chick, got the runniest nose I've ever had in my life and lost my taste, smell. That's it and no reinfection. I'm pretty sure my husband has it again right now, he did relent and get the jab due to a work mandate. He only got one JnJ. So far I'm not sick but who knows, maybe I will get it. He could also just have a cold.
So, assuming the usual 39,000 flu deaths that were mis-attributed to Covid-19, Covid only killed 961,000 people in the US, not a million. Excellent distinction!
It was a REALLY tough few years for me....felt like yelling in the streets every day "WAKE UP PEOPLE!!" My gawd, what sheep we are. I just could not believe how people so easily gave up their freedom and livelihoods. So many businesses failed. We knew VERY early on who was at risk. I did not fall for the vax and am so glad I kept my resolve. I had Covid in Nov 2020 and haven't had it since. Dr. Jay Bhattacharya and Rav Avora (sp?) have a great podcast out called "Illusion of Consensus." I think the most maddening thing now is that there have been zero apologies. I hope TX wins their case against Pfizer and I hope many other states and countries follow their lead and sue for remuneration for an ineffective product.
I started to wake up when I began reading Alex Berenson's Unreported Truths About COVID. Unfortunately, I'd already gotten the first two Pfizer jabs. I've had COVID twice anyway, and my fully vaxxed former neighbor got COVID and died. Too many leaders listened to the little troll Fauci, whose recommendations didn't prevent hundreds of thousands of deaths.
I find it so tiresome to read novels written during Covid or written where the time period is during Covid. The authors seem to revel in describing the con of social distancing and the putting on of masks. Come on man! The latest big offender I’ve read was Val McDermid Past Lying. She is usually so much better than that.
I think the enduring symbol of Covid has to be the lone driver, masked, furtive, afraid and oxygen deprived. A symbol of cowardice, complaisance and supine complicity to a brazenly deceptive authoritarian kleptocracy.
I thought that lone masked driver was the epitome of the Covid lemming until I started seeing masked people on the Appalachian Trail and various branch trails we hike, and then finally, a couple with not only cloth masks, but full-face clear face shields.
They are not cowards. They are people whose brains were broken by an intense program of propaganda consisting of a firehose of unrelenting lies and censorship of accurate information.
It’s amazing how passionately I hate masks. I can’t look at, speak to or consider being friends with anyone who’s wearing one. There are no mitigating factors! Well, in October a good friend confessed to me of plans to don one on an aeroplane “just as a precaution” so I had to put up with it…
Recently our prayer group was getting together for a Christmas breakfast. We think very much alike. However, one of the group members, who has been my friend for 34 years, got out of her car and put on her mask. Because I know her so well, I asked her what she was doing. She's a teacher and said stuff was going around school. In a perturbed voice I told her (again) that masks don't work. She walked in and told the group she was wearing a mask "to protect all of us" and proceeded to tell the group that I already admonished her. We all chatted for a bit and then went to sit at the table to eat. I said, what are you going to do now?
I so passionately hate masks that I was rude to her. It annoys me to no end to say you're protecting me....cuz my vote is for you to TAKE THE MASK OFF--FOREVER. And it perturbs me that you think you're no longer protecting us, and somehow that's acceptable, because you want to eat!
I love historical fiction so what is the title of the Follett book? During Covid, I read an historical fiction book called Fever 1793 about an epidemic that occurred in Philadelphia. I had never heard about it but 5000 people died.
"World Without End." Two themes that are relevant to today. The first, how humanity reacted to an actual plague; where society was unhinged and saints and sinners abounded But the second is equally relevant - the hell of feudalism. Don't be fooled. The Demons of Davos are trying to introduce a new feudalism, with massive income equality. Where we are serfs "who vill own nothink and eat ze bugs und be happy." Klaus Schwab needs to be strung up by his heels, and free men and women revolt against such madness. Time to really put it to the self-proclaimed elites and do some serious tinkering with our tax codes. Anyone who lectures on "climate change" whilst flying about in a private jet needs to be taken down and introduced to humility. And poverty.
I have had that modern feudalism thought myself. Could it be that simple? Are there folks who would willingly wipe out centuries of progress by and for normal people?
Yes, Yellow Fever was a real peril in early America. It even reached New York City. We are so insulated from disease today (except of obesity and other dietary and self-induced disease) that we forget how dangerous the world was.
I just read an article yesterday about the return of some long-ridden diseases are showing up in the US. Including leprosy, polio, tuberculosis and malaria. I believe the most likely answer is all of the unfettered (and un-vetted) immigration from some of these countries that do not have good vaccination protocols.
Our population you think is going to wiser, more resilient etc? I just heard the author of that book compare with great glee that she did not have children, but also did not go cherry picking. With that smug attitude you only meet in certain neighborhoods of certain cities 🙄
I resolve not to secretly throw away the stuff my wife never uses, no longer cares about, and doesn’t remember she ever owned, until precisely the moment she accidentally sees it deep in the trash bin. (Damn it!)
You gotta take it off-premises, dude. My wife has a thrift store addiction that shows no sign of stopping. Just randomly grab stuff and toss it in the trunk and pitch it in the gas station trashcan when you can.
I feel your pain. What's up with the hoarding instinct? I love the "when in doubt, throw it out" line penned above. Face it. If you haven't worn that jacket or dress in two years. you're not going to. Give it to Goodwill.
I had a boss once whose wife had a rule for him: when they relocated (as they did somewhat often for his job), if he hadn't used or worn something in a year, it would not make the trip to the next house. She always knew relo was coming when he would suddenly appear stuffed into his college sweatshirt like a sausage.
Have wood bought and cut to build wainscoting in hallway. It's been in the basement for a good half dozen years at this point.
My problem is that I can't find the same thin molding that's on my c. 1854 staircase wainscoting. So the cut and primed pieces, still pristine, are near the woodpile, beneath my late dad's surfcasting poles (used occasionally, fruitlessly, by me), across from power tools that got used a few times, enough to justify their cost because I didn't have to call in and pay a handyman . . . .
On the opposite side of shelves of stuff that might get used, and sometimes does: two colors of old English furniture oil, different polishing waxes, different fertilizers, different cleaning products . . . .
But along the same wall holding shovels, rakes, and edgers.
I figure unless I know I'm going to die soon, it's better to go into the basement and be able to find the thing I'm looking for.
Sounds like my garage. Just the other day my son asked for the snake. I couldn't find it. I think I go blind looking in there. A few hours later I saw it where it had been right in front of me!!
Olivia Reingold, I had the same problem for years and years. The only two things that worked? Get finger cots that are plastic and roll down over your fingers. Wear them day and night- don’t take them off even for the shower, but, of course, replace them daily. You can get a ton for pretty cheap. Then once your nails get to a certain length after a few weeks, go get a manicure with SNS or acrylic. If you get regular polish or -worse- gel, you may be tempted to pick at it. The SNS and acrylic strengthen your nails, are tough to pick at, and taste awful if you do manage to get off a chip.
But the finger cot things are the big secret to stopping the biting and the picking. I still break out one or two if I’m stressed out and notice I am tempted to start picking again. You also may benefit from digging into what you are doing when you are doing it the worst and why. Mine was while working and watching TV. Good luck!
Agree that addressing the cause of the behavior is immensely helpful. As a (sometimes) reformed severe fingernail picker/biter I found that I replaced the fingers with other nervous energy behavior - hair twirling, skin picking on my face or lips, shredding paper or bottle labels, etc.
I don't bite my fingernails, but I wonder if doing so represents just an exaggeration of tendencies that humans may have inherited from our ancestors, such as primates grooming each other with their fingers, or cats scratching their scratching post (or anything else around if one isn't available).
I bit my nails to the quick from preschool to college commencement, then stopped unconsciously. I was good at school; I think it was more closely related to lack of control over my life than stress or difficult material. I restart when I work at particularly awful companies.
I quit biting my nails for good at 16 when I got a job working with and serving food. I was too busy -- and too fastidious -- to put my fingers in my mouth. What also helped was a chipped front tooth.
That was then; this is now. Better figure out how to shut down the Internet Manosphere c'os the cat's out of the bag. Nowadays Western men just aren't taking the chance on making a one-sided contract with the State. If you're lookin' for love, ladies, you might try the Bari/Nellie route. It's probably your best chance ....
My son is available at 29. He says he has no trouble getting dates, but the women his age are very ambitious and driven, not interested in a long-term relationship or marriage. It's too bad for them: he's good looking, well dressed, prosperous, and good-natured.
I'm reading Chris Rufo's "America's Cultural Revolution: How the Left Conquered Everything." I'd always wondered what tied all the various sorehead groups together - the Racist and Violent Black Soreheads, the Toxic Feminist Soreheads, the Socialists, the Communists, the Soros acolytes, the Wokesters, the Clintons and Obamas, even the Weathermen of old, and while I felt I was getting a handle on it, he lays it all out perfectly.
Most importantly, he lays out how they all work together to put the Grand Plan to overthrow the West in action. Destroying the nuclear family is at the top of the list, and various "Critical Theories" are the mechanism. Simply divide and conquer. Divide every institution into oppressor and oppressed, with marriage at the top. Attack traditional marriage as a "patriarchy," make women hate men and men fed up with it all. Change the divorce laws to "no-fault" and tell the women they need to get out. Make the laws so she has every incentive to divorce (half his stuff, his kids, a pension - all with no constraints on her behavior).
And boy, is it working. Yes, I'd love to have a wife, but the Red Pill is strong in this one. Not likely.
All the elected woke Democrats who want to run our lives, tell us how to live, which appliances and cars to drive, etc. have nuclear families.
I've said before, the battles liberals fought for 100 years ago ie. equality & safety in the workplace, ending child labor sweatshops, minimum wage, same sex marriage, the Equal Rights Amendment, etc. etc. have largely been won.
Today Democrats are a political party in search of a problem, like climate change and Orange Man Bad, and they sell fear (the world will end in 12 years, democracy as we know it will end) in order to simply stay in power.
Only when a tipping point is reached, hopefully now, will we right this ship.
But Jim, you're thinking of "Howard Stern lesbians." Howard used to have beautiful, gay women on his show, and loved talking with them. He always cautioned that most lesbians didn't look like those women, however.
You have no choice but to live with both. All of us are God’s creatures and none of us created our sexual orientation. But I am honest, or indiscreet, enough to say I don’t like the concept. But who am I to disagree with God? For a Catholic, homosexuality is an imponderable.
I've never been religious, but have no problem with it - and I see a great deal of benefit. I have several gay friends, and while it is quite unappealing to me, I think of it sort of like I think of buzzards: I don't think I would like to eat what they do, but to them it's perfectly delicious. Guy-butts don't seem that interesting, but I don't pay their bills so I don't call their shots. I guess if there ever were a Real Libertarian, it's me.
Nellie, please consider adding another resolution to your list: Try to lighten up and take things less seriously. As for me, I’m 76, my resolution is to be around to make resolutions (probably the same one) next year. Happy New Year, friends.
Don’t think she needs to lighten up, I think what she needs, is to be a bit more respectful when she writes about President Trump. She has to either call him Mr or President not Trumpo. Wishing you the best for 2024
New Year's resolutions are designed to be abandoned in February. Also they're cheesy. That said, I love thinking 🤔 of good ones. New Year's Day I'll be sober 100 days so I don't have to quit drinking. I'm a personal trainer with my own gym so I don't have to start working out. I could stop eating potato chips for dinner but...nah. I'm in a junk food phase. I trust it'll peter out. I don't bite my nails. I curse too much but I tried quitting and I just didn't fucking feel like me anymore so.... meditation is well... no. Books with actual paper pages are... uh uh. I should probably stop racking up credit card debt on my shopping "projects" but that's a life's work and I don't want to put all that pressure on myself. Surely it will backfire and soon I'll be standing in the kitchen over a bag of kettle cooked potato chips pressing "double-click to pay" on a $1200 designer ring. So go easy on that one. I guess all that's left is to call my mom and dad more often. Is 54 too old to ask them for a little spending money? Haha joke!
1) Visit my last remaining sibling more often.
2) Become closer to my two children - at least as much as they can tolerate all that icky stuff.
3) Learn to cook.
4) Abandon any hopes of finding a wife. Just too risky in the West these days, and I ain't moving to the Philippines.
5) Update all my "affairs" so that if anything should happen to me, my family won't be caught up in the kinds of disasters seen so many times.
6) Organize, label, and distribute my 3700 pictures to my children.
7) Continue my late brother's work on the family tree.
8) Learn some ballroom dancing.
9) At every opportunity, expose the Left.
4) Abandon any hopes of finding a wife.
__________________________________
For your own sake please do not give up. Keep your eyes open, your heart open, and use some courage. Good luck to you.
ballroom dancing should help. try the tango
This!👆☝️🔝
Thanks. It's all I need to make life perfect, but having got out of two marriages with my skin intact, until some things change it looks 'way too risky.
My advice would be to run a test. If you meet someone who has no problem with you spending quality time with your children, just you and them together, and she has no hang ups with your necessary interactions with the mother of your children, you may have a keeper. Otherwise run a mile.
The other proviso is she must demonstrate these traits over a period of time, say one year, or four seasons.
marry your best friend......harder to break up then.
He's not my type.
Or, alternatively, my best friend is .... never mind; I won't go there... LOL
Its so simple. Be the best friend to the person you chose and chose you on return.
It takes a lifetime to master.
That is whatvpre-nups are for. And a worthwhile potential mate will recognize that. But in addition to dance class, cooking classes or groups could be a goldmine.
I think I get what you’re hinting at. It’s hard being politically homeless these days.
Think you could give Suzy some advice to, the man she is looking for hasn’t been born yet. Just reading her NYR’s she is to self absorbed and if she continues with that kind of attitude she will remain unengaged for 2024. Wishing her much mazel for 2024 in her search for a good decent man.
Skinny, I usually agree with you but not today about Suzy. Of course we don’t actually know her but I for one am her greatest fan. The world is full of perfectly nice young women but they are rarely amusing and intelligent. Special Suzy will find her “beshert” next year, he exists and now that she is ready, he is on his way.
Vivian I hope Suzy recognizes him - I never said she wasn’t charming, amusing and intelligent, I said she needs to change her attitude if she wants to meet her “beshert”, especially as you put it “he is on his way” Please God we hear good news of an engagement!
Yes, you are right - she has to recognize him when he comes along. We’ll rejoice when we hear the news!
Please God!
Love this advice!
at the age of 67, newly single, learning to dance, & writing my criteria for my on-line dating profile, one was that the guy had to love to dance 👍. So now, 6 yrs later, married, loving to dance, a little bit ballroom, but mostly country, triple swing & West Coast!
Ballroom dance classes, you'll be the sought after 😉
Thanks! I might try that! A friend and his wife are big Swingers (West Coast, that is) and lassoed me into a beginner's class. It was lots of fun, and indeed a target-rich environment.
WCS is almost the most fun you can have in public without risking arrest. (Argentine Tango is in the #1 spot but required skill level is significantly greater). Good leads who take care of their follows are always very much in demand (they talk to each other between dances).
I like West Coast and Two-Step. East Coast swing has too many full rotations and my dance partner (my wife) got dizzy with them all. We still save a few of those moves for weddings.
Or you can get Bari to start an old fashioned singles seeking single (empty nesters addition) for the FP, since like good journalism, the rest of the world wants to pretend we don’t exist.
Why do you exist? What causes a single empty nester?
Watch Ginger Rogers dance.
Don't bother with Astaire, he's brilliant all right but always always the same, like a diamond, glittering, unchanging, unchangeable. It is Rogers that reveals mood and emotion and sets the tone of all the dances with Astaire. Fred never afterward even approached the level of romantic dance they achieve with "Smoke Gets in Your Eyes," never reaches the very imagery of love seen in that profound swirling lift in "The Last Waltz" -- nor farcical dances either, like "Hard to Handle" or "The Yam" -- and it's because he never had another partner capable of performing at that level.
Don't believe me? Watch her films where she dances *without* Astaire - "Upperworld," "In Person," "Roxie Hart" and "Lady in the Dark" - unbelievably great, one of the two models for all dancing ever since.
"Ginger Rogers did everything Fred Astaire did, except backwards and in high heels. "
--Attributed to several people.
3) Learn to cook.
_______________
If you can read you can cook.
I can read; I can't cook. Reminds me of what the Chair of math at a local college told me: there is a thing called "mathematical maturity" that only comes to juniors and seniors - and occasionally to brilliant younger students - whereby with experience you pick up new concepts much easier and quicker. I need to get that Cooking Maturity, and there is no shortcut. I just need to get in the game and light up the stove. (Don't tell the alleged president I have propane...)
Jim, There is a actually a book called "The 4 ingredient Cookbook" (still in print on Amazon). I gave it to my son many years ago. He still uses it! Cooking for yourself is MORE IMPORTANT than cooking for others. You are worth it.
This is a great idea.
I started with 5 ingredient recipes. And Southern Living recipes. I am just now to the point where I am confident enough to create my own dishes.
Well done, you! Wishing you a happy new year with new culinary successes!
You too!
You have to have passion about it to cook well. Start with Leeanne's recommendation for 4 ingredient recipes then when you can do those well branch out. Cooking really is a joy.
Cooking is art, science and love all manifest in beautiful nourishment that can reflect your diners (victims?), what's growing, the weather, what have you. It's an absolute joy.
You are so right Lynne, I am now cooking with my grandchildren it’s such fun.
😂😂f..k the current President, gas up as much as you can and start cooking!
Cereal + Milk = Dinner
Cooking is rule-following and a satisfying endgame for some. It is joy, passion, color, flavors, pleasure, artistry, improvisation, and presentation to others. I say figure out what exactly it is about cooking that makes you want to master it and go from there!
The cool thing about cooking is that it’s the combination of chemistry, physics, and artistry.
I have found this one very useful: The pleasures of cooking for one, by Judith Jones
Erm, not sure I’d agree with that entirely, P Roth. I know myriad people, including my daughter, who can read very well, they just have no real desire to cook. Maybe if you can read you can manage to rustle up a meal, but becoming a cook is another matter.
Me to a tee!
That’s exactly what my dad told my mom! She never became the cook my grandma (her mother) was, but she could bake up a storm, and her desserts were in demand at potlucks, family gatherings, and other events. I have fond memories of coming home from school to the smell of fresh baked bread.
True - have small dinner parties invite friends over engage with humans it’s so much better for our souls!
I’m an excellent reader but cooking impaired. Just nail one good dish and you’ll be set.
Cooking is fab because you can improvise. Baking sucks— everything must be precise.
This is what my mother, who was an excellent cook, always told me!
Nope.
If you don’t want to go to the phillipines but want companionship from there, you can call “customer service” of any corporation in America and you’ll get all the Filipino accents you want and more!
I've worked with Filipinos for over 30 years and have never had a bad experience. Two weeks ago I spent about 20 minutes chatting with a cust. service lady - and wasting her time, unfortunately - after identifying her accent as from Manila. Lovely, lovely people.
Agreed on Filipinos. But if you marry a lovely Filipino lady you marry her family, I’m sure you’re aware of that.
And most of her extended family who still live in the Philippines and are always needing money, to pay for Uncle Joe’s burial etc etc.
Speaking from experience, that's true with a lot of cultures.
More so with some cultures than others. Thailand, Philippines, while well educated and decent people, are poor countries. Who can point a finger of blame for wanting a better life for your family though, not me.
Exactly!
I want to second this. Spoke about a relative living in the Philippines with a rep. She was so kind!
More than likely a Hindi accent!
Dank you bery much.
Hahahaha! Funny.
LoL
An insight. If you want a friend be a friend. If you want a wife be a friend. Enjoy the amazing rewards of friendship. Its about other's. Relinquish the self. Solomon phrased it as cast your bread upon the water. What did Solomon mean?
he meant the fish would get big if they had something to eat.
Yeah. That's it.
Boy, you got lots of free relationship advice! Ballroom dancing is my favorite on your list.
Contrary to what Coby Weiss wants to stop doing - I want (no, need..) to go to a motel. And soon.
If you are 35 you'd probably mean it; since you are twice that even mentioning abandoning hope probably means your heart of heart hasn't. :- ) Having said that "abandoning" expecting things does seem to have the expected thing fall in your lap having given up. I think it is to do with you drop self-sabotage too! All the best.
Jim I have no idea what your age is ..you sound lovely and like a real catch!
I'm seventy. Un-be-f'in-lievable. I was eighteen three weeks ago. My dad said that you'd think that as you age, your mind would age, too, but it doesn't. Man was he on the money.
Well Jim...I can't argue with this experience as your describe it. I do have a friend who is now in the best relationship of her life, at 70. Her daughter bumped into her 4th grade teacher and he asked her about her mom. The rest is history. Apparently they both had a thing for each other when he was her kids' teacher. Love isn't an age limited activity. Again, you sound like a lovely guy and I say that from your post and interactions in the thread. Here is to 2024 for all of us!
"Abandon any hopes of finding a wife."
How sad.
Still, if that's how you honestly feel ("too risky") maybe you are doing a favor to any women that you might interact with IRL.
Still (#2), if you take up the "learn some ballroom dancing" resolution, you just may be surprised. Keep your eyes, your heart, and esp your brain engaged. You never know!
Scan those photos and save to an external hard drive then they can both have all of them. It's kind of a fun mindless job and if you have Photos (Mac) you can date and fill in a description for each photo.
I use Macs exclusively. My older brother lost his entire cache (three times!) of family pictures he had on PCs due to viruses, and despite expert help could never recover them. I have never used an antiviral and never had a virus. Ever. And believe me, I have gone places on the Internet where the brave fear to tread.
The big thing I have to do is to purge some darling but racy pictures sent to me by some friends who own an adult Website and to purge all pictures of my second wife. Pretty easy to do, since Photos supports facial recognition/removal. Just have to make sure I got them all.... shouldn't take too long.
I'll expose the right and maybe, just maybe you will learn to cook healthy food, that makes you feel better, and find a Grove of green in Spring. It worked for me. May the Lord do for you what he did for me. Joy, joy, joy! Sing with me, Rejoice!
Re. #4, channel David Carradine in “Kung Fu”: instead of trying to capture a butterfly, let it land on your shoulder.
Corny, but I do know from painful experience that if you want a wife badly, that’s how things will end! My second wife was a joyful surprise that has been my grace for over 20 years, now. Focus on doing things that you like to do and enrich your life, and things will come to you.
“Ya gotta park your taco truck where the fat folks sit!” 😀
Look for a partner vs. a wife and try as best you can not to stress over it. Very often when eyes focus away from the goal, things happen. Keep your sense of humor, though, because many women I've known look for that in a partner. Kindness, gentleness, confidence, and patience -- ingredients for success. And by all means, know how to cook!
I'm with you on #5! Re. #8, Tango is great.
I made my resolution early this year. In October I vowed to be less angry, sad, and political. To that end, I got Daisy, a three-month old puppy. She’s as apolitical as they come. She forces me to walk a few miles a day. And she always has a smile on her face. Wish I could post a picture. Happy 2024, y’all.
Hi Faith,
At the age of 70, I brought home Sugar Pi, daughter of Honey Bunch, a Portuguese Water Dog puppy--a hypoallergenic Border Collie if you will.
I am forced to walk at least 12k steps a day. I haven’t laughed so hard in years.
Plus, I have never let any other dog I have had, and there have been nine, sleep in our bed! Best decision for my 8th decade.
Good for you!!! We’re in our 60s and people actually asked if we were worried we’d die and leave her orphaned. Say what?
And yes, no beds. Of course she owns every other piece of furniture in the house.
You’re The Montana lady. Thoroughly enjoyed your essay, thank you.
I believe we have met Sugar Pi in the TGIF pics! Lovely!
Henry died suddenly and unexpectedly in September at the too young age of 10. It's taken until now for me to think of him without tearing up (I'm a wuss). It's time to get another puppy but we just can't bring ourselves to do it yet. I'm so glad you found Daisy to love!
My 10 year-old Wicket died, also suddenly and unexpectedly, in October. He was my constant and endearing companion, especially after my retirement from the practice of law two years ago. I’ve had many wonderful dogs throughout the years, but his death hit especially hard, despairing as I already was at watching everything I’ve believed in and worked for all my life destroyed. I didn’t want another dog; I just wanted Wicket back.
I lasted two months. We will get our new dog, a 1 year-old neglected rescue, next week after she is finally spayed. Sometimes, you just have to take a leap of faith. After all, heartache is the price we inevitably have to pay for loving. And so life goes on.
Thank you for adopting a rescue...and after having one dog at a time for most of our lives, we have now found that having two is even better!!! So maybe get another one from your shelter who is a little older...the older ones seem to get passed over and there are so many good ones waiting to be a sibling to your new pup! We were not looking to replace our Bear, but when Cookie arrived at the shelter that we volunteer for, I couldn't resist this old girl...arthritic, deaf, cloudy vision, but with a stalwart heart who was ready to get out of that cold kennel and go for walks. She is a great companion for me and for my rescue Lab, Lucy, who was missing Bear.
Yes, thank you. I know that loss is the price of love when it comes to dogs. Both love and loss make life richer and more beautiful in their own ways. I am sorry for your loss. May Wicket's memory always be a blessing.
My friends, empty nesters, lost their golden retriever, and within weeks had adopted another. Their youngest son, at the time a newly employed attorney at a large firm (and all that brings), stated his objection that it was disrespectful to Max that they adopted so soon.
I told the son that they didn’t get the puppy to replace Max, but they got her to replace you. In perspective, he agreed.
You’re not a wuss. We get very attached to our pets. It took me months to get over the death of my 18 year old cat, Joan. She was very affectionate. She would sit on my lap and when it was time to go to bed, she would go down the hallway and call for me.
She was a cat who acted more like a dog.
We had Jockey who was just like your Joan. He was ancient when we got him from the shelter and he lived another six years. He was like a dog in almost every way minus the outside trips. In fact, we got Henry shortly after Jockey passed away.
I am convinced my Yorkie has some cat genes. I know it is not possible but still.
I think my cat has dog and rabbit genes. Also impossible, but still.
When my 17 year old cat passed away, I adopted a 10 year old. Senior cats are overlooked at the shelter, but a perfect fit for senior humans.
I am so sorry. As Terence says, you’re not a wuss at all. Our greatest reluctance to getting a dog was the thought of losing her. The joy she brings eclipses that.
How about volunteering to walk dogs at your local animal shelter? There are an abundant number of pups to walk and you don't have to adopt (yet) and you get to meet so many wonderful dogs who need that human interaction! Walking dogs and helping the overworked shelter staff is super therapeutic too. Almost 99% of the dogs are in the shelter because of owner problems, not doggie problems...divorce, death, moving, job loss...just tragic for the dogs and owners so any help you can give to a "stranded shelter pet" is so appreciated by these love sponges!!!
And the argument many give that it would break their heart to see the dogs and they would want to take them all home (all of us volunteers want to do just that) so they can't volunteer is basically flawed...it is because they have a heart that would break that will make the person a terrific volunteer...we volunteers realize that by socializing the dogs we are giving them a chance to find a forever home...walking them, taking them out to adoption events, to the Farmer's Market on a "day-outing" (we call them "Day Fosters" at our shelter), feeding them dog treats, taking them to the play yards and playing catch or tug of war, basically any interaction that can help build trust will help. You can make a tremendous difference! and just maybe, find your next dog!
the loss of a dog is always sad but I say. the best way to heal that hurt is to get another dog. that is what your last dog would want. a great home like yours/
You're right, of course. Mrs. J and I have talked about it and we will in time. Thank you and God bless.
Our attachment to dogs predates agriculture. (Dogs were domesticated from wolves over 20,000 years ago. Agriculture was developed 12,000 years ago.) So dogs have been our companions and co-evolved with us for a very long time. Our emotional attachment to them is intense and immensely valuable. So there is never a need to apologize or explain your grief at the loss of your beloved four-footed buddy. Be well, and when the time is right, let a new dog adopt you.
Two years ago our neighbors lost their 13 yo Boston terrier the day after Labor Day. I don’t know why, but they were slated to pick up a BT puppy that coming weekend.
I asked how the pup got along with their 13 yo cocker spaniel, and was told they had about 15 minutes together before they lost Sophie.
The point: Charlie has kept them so busy and amused they haven’t had time to feel sad.
On my daily walks with my large dog I see lots of younger women with small dogs. I wonder whether these women also have mates. Responsible dog owners walk their dogs, It is the definition of win/win.
Speaking of dogs...I made an announcement to my husband yesterday that a goal I have is to vacuum everyday, hopefully twice a day, our chocolate lab’s hair on our hardwoods. I’m serious. We usually vacuum every few days so we aren’t that disgusting. Like most people, we are tired from working so I don’t want to go to the effort. I HATE to vacuum but I guess I don’t know anyone that LOVES to vacuum. I’ve read good reviews on an iRobot Roomba but I’d rather spend $500+ on other things like clothes 😊
We had 5 dogs once. Get a roomba. It’s life changing.
yes. there are many knock offs that work pretty well. trust me. 4 dogs
Dogs and kids teach us so many life lessons. We bought a roomba, but more importantly learned to come to peace with dog hair on our clothes and everywhere. My hound is my guru. Ommm. :-)
They sure do. Children teach us to give unconditional love..dogs give it to us! We had golden retrievers before our precious chocolate lab. You're correct about accepting the dog hair everywhere...we came to that place long ago but they are so worth it.
Oh my gosh, do I sympathize. We have a 130 pound black lab. It is always hot or cold so he is now pretty much an indoor dog. Labs shed their body weight each year! I have found that putting rugs under his hu-u-u-ge memory foam.bad helps a lot.
My Shark robot kept our floors furless when we had our St. Bernard and Lab (both rescues!)...we had a setting where it would run daily when we were out walking the dogs so it worked really well! Unbelievable amount of fur those dogs could shed in 24 hours!!!
see this is what bothers me. why mention "rescues" do they shed more? why let the world know what a "hero " you are. if you want a great dog buy one from a super breeder that health tests their breeding stock. You wont get the "halo effect" but you will get a dog that has been raised correctly and usually you will have a life line to any problems you may have and your questions answered..throughout the life of your dog.. am a dog breeder and judge.( for honesty purposes). If you will accept an older dog. choose your breed carefully and inquit=re if the breeder has any older dogs to place.. many times they do
Don't need or want a halo, just have a heart...also, far from a hero, but it is important to let people who want dogs know that there are just so many who need homes in our county and city shelters and pedigree does not matter...it is always about the dogs that need help. Sorry that you are so offended by mutts..
Hear! Hear!
Good for you. I love rescues. Something lovely about seeing an animal flourish. Pedigreed people animals and people are not my style. I love mutts because I am one.
Roomba is worth it. Your back will thank you. Plus you will make up the difference in what you would have spent on chiropractors, massage, etc.
He’s a lucky man. You’re a good woman.
Talking to a friend a few months ago, he said his wife said that Sunday would be spent watching football. I suggested he tell her that he was planning on vacuuming.
Get the Roomba!!! It is worth every cent …
Mutt. Without a doubt the best breed.
why?
nope. mixed breeds can be fine pets.. but no one has proved that "mutts" are any healthier than pure breds.. and a ;pure bred dog has traits that are bred into them. like working dogs.. terriers .. smaller companion dogs.. etc. do not expect your border collie to sit on the couch. do not expect your Pekinese to herd sheep.. fit your dog to your neeeds and theirs
Yes and no. Many pure breeds are known for particular health issues as a result of selective breeding. Not breeding for the health problem but breeding dogs that have the health problem for other traits. Golden receivers for example have high rates of cancer. I am not anti-purebred BTW.
Labs. Our son has a shepherd, and she is sweet, sweet dog.
yes totally different breeds. both great. just buy your dog from a good breeder
Good advice, if it's important to you to know what you are getting into. I have a german shepherd and I spent many months reading and researching about the breed and to find a good breeder before committing. I think it is super important to find a breeder who is passionate about preserving and bettering the breed and who does the relevant health and temperament testing. Temperament is so important, especially when you are dealing with a dog who is capable of bringing down a full grown man. Training is so important, but if you start out with bad genetics, you can get overwhelmed by the problems you will face!
Rescued is my favorite breed! I volunteer at our local county animal shelter and there is an abundance of love to give and receive! Lots of German Shepherds, 2 Belgian Malinois, Huskies, Pitties, Terriers, etc. and Akitas (my favorite is regal Yoshi who is the best and needs a home soon...so lonely after his daughter was adopted and the family who adopted her did not want two dogs :( Walking dogs and helping the overworked shelter staff is super therapeutic, especially for ANYBODY!
I support our local shelter. NOT the NGO's like the HSUS, ASPCA and the dreaded PETAphiles. however the best way to keep dogs out of shelters is to buy one from a good breeder who has a purchase contract
What do you have against the Humane Society and SPCA? And why would you call PETA criminal sexual deviants?
The best way to keep dogs out of shelters is to adopt them from shelters. Or one could be like Obama, and ignore the shelter in order to buy a boutique breeded dog from a puppy mill.
dog are bred not breeded.. just like large NGO's the HSUS and the ASPCA pay high salaries to their elites and give very little to local shelters.. the HSUS gives less than 1% to local shelters while raking in millions. the ASPCA pays its CEO over 1 mil a year.. and they run just ONE shelter in NYC.. PETAphiles disrupt people going about their business.. attempt to shut down any domestic animal business and kill approx 98% of the animals it claims to "take in" try google but here is a start. www.petakillsanimals.com..PETA killed over 2,000 cats and dogs in 2022, and more than 47,000 animals since 1998.but it is not just about dogs and cats it is about the elimination of ALL domestic food animals.. if everyone bought a dog from a responsible breeder we would not need shelters. I am glad Presidents buy ( or are gifted) ;pure bred dogs. And OB 's dog did not come from a commercial breeder now if i could get Trump to buy a nice dog. it would help his ratings. LOL
B S
He is mixed breed. His dad was a King Shepherd and his mom was a Lab/Border Collie. He is smart, energetic, loving and extremely friendly. He walks away from angry dogs.
glad to hear you are enjoying him ..were his parents health tested for hip dysplasia or collie eye anomaly ? not saying mixed breeds cant be super I have owned a couple myself. so it is not BS. it is just a fact..all mixed breed dogs carry genes for certain disease that they are mixed with.. I ma not sure what a King Shepard is. but I am sure it was a beautiful dog.. dogs make our lives better
We got our Covid puppy Ziggy in 2020 and he has been a delight, except when he barks and tries to chase cars. We had gone without a dog for seven years and did not realize what we had been missing. In a few minutes I will take him on the first of four walks a day. Never forget to take the poop bags.
We went 30 years. In fact, I’m convinced my husband took an expat assignment in Hong Kong so we’d have to off load our dog (another great mutt) on my parents. Three decades later he has conceded Daisy is a delight to have around.
training ..
Well, Faith, politics makes me angry and sad also. Is there a connection?
I believe the may be.
Oh yes. Nothing like a pooch to lift any mood and distract from politics. Congrats on the new fur baby. 🥰 🐶
I think if maya sulkin recognizes her therapy is expensive and basically worthless, she should just quit it and use the money for charity. And maybe volunteer at that charity to take her out of herself. Like a veterans charity - like maybe the Semper Fi foundation.
(I unlike Oliver never said I’d give up recommendations)
Happiness comes from serving others, not yourself. We've all heard it and it sounds trite, but it's true. Unwoke, you may have to hang out a shingle and buy a comfortable couch for your patients.
Others. Taking the focus off of the self you ultimately heal nicely. You cannot outgive the universe the more you give the more you receive in so many ways. Serve others.
So true. It's one of those little counterintuitive secrets in life that successful people embrace.
Success. Just exactly what constitutes success? Define success.
To me it’s accomplishing your goals. Most would say Musk is successful, but he might argue that he hasn’t yet accomplished his goals. Mother Theresa accomplished her goal of serving the poorest of the poor. For a lot of us, it might be raising responsible children, providing for our families, making our communities a bit better and living lives of integrity. The U.S. is FULL of successful people. I have met many of them, and they are an endless source of inspiration.
I agree. I'll add that perhaps success isn't a destination but a path.
I heard a definition years ago. It struck a chord with me. I'll paraphrase because I'm certain this isn't verbatim but along the lines of success is the progression towards the realization of a worthwhile goal. Once that goal is achieved then another must be established. I'll die trying. Hopefully.
I agree. The best therapy is working for the benefit of those with less than you. It makes you realize your problems are not so bad.
Conversely help someone solve an issue they can't figure out without aid. That someone might have more materially but lacking in other ways.
Good point.
Unwoke -- Why take the fun out of everything?
Just how is helping people especially wounded veterans not fun?
Oh shoot, Unwoke. I meant my reply comment in good fun. Is that called "tongue in cheek?" By the way, I "Semper Fi-ied" for 5 years. 30 years later helped put a TV series about them on the air, even the Commandant made an appearance. Hate to brag, just thought I'd mention it, because YOU'RE SO STRICT!
This.
Therapists with agendas. That’s what they get taught in school these days. I agree w/ you and I am an older therapist.
Spend more time at my piano that on my ipad.
Finish my book and figure out the self publishing world.
Focus on fitness goals, not the scale.
Volunteer more at church.
Keep my mouth shut when I know I should, complain less.
When you finish that book please let us know.
I will, thank you. I hope you aren’t expecting some piece of literature. It’s a fun poke at Home Owners Associations and the crazy Karens (and Kevins) who think they run the show. Beach reading.
A comedy!
Feel free to use a little invective toward those HOAs, as most deserve it.
It's the inflated sense of self-importance. Pervasive!
Music brings me much joy. I have no musical talent but I spend time each day listening to my favourite artists. Lately I have been listening to Vera Lynn, especially You Belong To Me. (what an amazing life she led. She died at age 103. And I love Sam Cooke’s version as well. He had a tragic and early end to his life.
My father was born in London, as was I. He was in the British Royal Navy during WWII. He loved Vera Lynn, and I came to love her songs too. When my uncle, my father’s brother, died I gave the eulogy, ending it with the Vera Lynn’s words: “We’ll meet again, don’t know where, don’t know when, but I know we’ll meet again some sunny day.”
That was the song at the end of Dr. Strangelove - or how I learned to love the bomb.
Love Vera Lynn. Her name rhymes with Gin so in London, or the south of England generally, you may hear us order a Vera Lynn and tonic.
I love Sam Cooke, as well as Otis Redding, another talent who lost his life much too early. Think of all the great music that died with them. What a shame.
Complain less!! OMG, I know that should be on my list.
Well I will read your book! I really enjoy your comments here!
Don’t keep your mouth shut you have a lot of wisdom. Let us know when the book’s published.
Aw shucks!
Hahaha, self deprecation is unAmerican. Happy New year!
Good luck on the book! The publishing world is a beast. Be patient and stick to it. I believe in you!
My resolution is to share a glass of wine and a lot of laughs with the woman that brings so much joy to my Friday mornings, Nellie Bowles. Hey, it could happen.
We all love Nellie! :-)
I’ll fight you for her! 😊
Me too and and I’m not part of the alphabet soup!
Can I come too?!
:)
I don't do resolutions, never have! It is like lying to yourself about things that you know you should change. But let's be honest here, we do what we do because we like it! The "it" may not be productive, or even GOOD for us, but we do it anyway. Only when forced by circumstances beyond our control do we ever change what we do or begin something new in our lives. Planning out your life is a frustrating experience. My idea of retirement was a three-bedroom, two-bathroom house, that my wife of 44 years and I could settle into, WITHOUT a mortgage, and with a car that is paid off and no credit card bills. And we HAVE it! Unfortunately, we also have our 32-year-old daughter and her 10-year-old daughter, PLUS our adopted daughter's half-sister and HER three kids, ALSO living with us! So we are a family of 8 living in a 1600 sq. ft. home, and my wife and I are relegated to maid's duty, with three dogs to boot! This is retirement? The lesson is that no matter what you plan, life ALWAYS intrudes, and forces decisions on you that you may feel totally incapable of making correctly. Ultimately, I am not happy, but my job, and my wife's job, is to make the best of it. And THAT, my friends, is LIFE!
Not sure how "unfortunate" that is. You became an island of refuge to kin who need you. I know it can't be easy but I'll bet you're having experiences that you will miss terribly when they get back on their feet and depart.
The silence and lack of drama that I crave will probably become an empty silence when that time comes.
A very self-aware observation...
Man plans. God laughs.
Yes he does
We did not get out of the colonial to the one-level living fast enough. Kids keep moving in and out like the front door is a revolving door, but our son and his lovely wife just moved back in and they are expecting in March!!
Life is good, crazy, but good.
You sound like a very decent person, the world needs more of it.
I would respectfully suggest though that you don’t become an enabler for people to abrogate their own responsibilities to make their own way in life. It’s easily done when you’re tender hearted.
It is always easier said than done, especially when you have no skin in the game, so to speak. But a change IS going to come!
It’s always easy to give advice, harder to carry it out as you say. Wishing you all the very best in 2024.
You are a good, patient man.
There is also a time when patience turns into cowardice or indecisiveness'. I am straddling that line.
It's hard when you have a spouse that doesn't share your views, we are dealing with that with a wayward child. I'm ready to go all "tough love" on him, but the husband needs to be on board. He's getting there.
Another complication is that my wife is dealing with bladder cancer, although it is non-invasive with an excellent prognosis. We have a lot going on that makes ANY decision more difficult.
🙏🙏🙏
Wish her well Robert.
Yikes!! Hang in there! Blessings in the new year!!
Make sure you are else the child will play you against each other. Which is good for neither the child nor you and you spouse.
Or enabling! When there is no parachute- you have to learn how to fly!
Spot on. Life never stops throwing you curveballs.
Good for you! And Happy New Year!!
“Only when forced by circumstances beyond our control do we ever change what we do or begin something new in our lives.”
…………..
That’s not my experience. I try to learn and better myself every day. But, in my opinion, most people do follow the path of least resistance.
It is not the "every day" that I am speaking of. Good for you if you are totally in charge of your life and experiences, you are a unicorn.
My New Year’s resolution is to not live in a spirit of fear in 2024.
2 Timothy 1:7
“For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.” KJV
I’ve never been a fearful person, far from it. But Donald Trump running makes people quite insane.
I also need to remember who ultimately is in charge.
Stay sane everyone and fearless! Happy 2024 to one and all!!
Best one I have seen.
No one is totally in charge of their lives. That does not mean we have no ability to improve our lives or the lives of other people.
And that is my point, Terrance. The Jewish saying, "Man plans, and God laughs", is quite apt. New Years resolutions are just nibbling at the edges of life, but often times it is the big issues that direct the rest of it. All we can really do is to try our best to carry on, but if we have no basis for direction then we are lost.
I grew up in a three generation home. We are likely to become a three generation home. No regrets about any of it. One of our daughters need help. She will lovingly receive it.
Thank you, B S
I’m staying in an Airbnb with my family this weekend, and on the wall is a poster that says “I can still remember the days I prayed for all the things I have now.” It hit me in the gut: my husband, our kids, all my family and friends, our home, a medical practice with patients that give me much more than I do them, and last but not least, the workhorse of the car world: my beloved Toyota Camry! Gratitude, every minute, every day, with a healthy side of STFU about the things I let myself complain about. Happy New Year y’all!
Congrats. Gratitude is the best focus.
#Truth!
Suzi Weiss......If you want to find a good guy, go to where the good guys are. Temple events, Weddings, work out gyms (the work out machines...ask for advice), A fishing class in Colorado, golf lessons, church league mixed softball, picklelball class, upscale grocery produce section, take your time ordering the pizza, Sushi bars are good, Wear make up and smile a lot. Show some leg. Do three of these a week and You should be engaged by Fall.
And don’t write a man off if he’s a blue collar working man rather than credentialed at some BS university.
Blue collar working men will spend more on a present for their woman than the lawyers with fancy watches. I know. I worked in retail for 12 years under a tower filled with lawyers. When there was construction work in the district, those men appeared in the shop. No blue collar ever haggled the price when shopping for his lady; lots of lawyers did.
In my opinion, blue collar working men often need to think for themselves in order to be successful.
My definition of success, white or blue collar, would include thinking for one's self.
Exactly! Human to human contact is as old as humankind itself. Love on the internet is a mere blip on the timeline. How have we managed to dismiss all of our animal instincts in such a short time? Answer - they are all still there but remain suppressed by all the new technology. Put down the phone and take-up a woodworking class. And yes, stop dismissing blue collar men and women. Parents, start training your children well instead of outsourcing your responsibilities to Tik Tok and the Department of Education.
I found my good guy the old fashioned way - at a bar! And his brother met his wife at the same bar.
That’s a great bar!
Haha! That’s awesome! I have a friend who met her hubby at a bar in Vegas! 30 years later they are still married.
How old are you, Suzi? My son is 26, single, mechanical engineer, funny, insightful and articulate. And so much more of course.
My son is 25, sounds just like yours - an engineer and the best young man in the world. Every day when I say my prayers, I ask for him to meet his “beshert” soon. For good measure I pray for her to have heaps of good qualities, including that she should be bright, cheerful and have a sense of humour. Superb Suzy has the last three qualities for sure. Jewish men in their thirties should be lining up for a chance to meet her!
Thx for sharing. It’s tough for good guys these days to meet someone.
Sure is. My sweet young man (21 yrs old) is so respectful, kind-hearted and funny, but the girls today are a challenge. I hope he finds someone like our daughter, his sister. I'm beyond grateful our daughter has found a man (they're both engineers) that she will spend life with. Constant prayers!
Nice. I have a daughter too and she will be married in Sept. 🙏🥰
I like this, but have one amendment to the 'wear make up and smile a lot' bit, because I don't think you should do that if it's not genuine. Instead, 'take care of yourself and do what makes you happy.' if you do that, you will look beautiful and you will be smiling ;)
I would go hunting and fishing in the Rockies! The best!
Thanks to Margi for the Tom Lake recommendation. When I was young my mom introduced me to books with the advice that "you'll never be bored or lonely." It was good advice.
One theme in the resolutions, I do find troubling.....the dread and enduring influence of Covid. Am currently reading a Follett novel about, among other things. the plague in the 14th Century. Now THAT was a plague to be feared. The Chinese engineered virus of 2020 was nothing but a psyop designed to mislead and scare the public and make us compliant and docile. Please stop. I never stopped going to restaurants, refused to wear a useless mask and regret falling for the phony vax. The death rate from the Black Plague was well over 1/3. The death rate from Covid - even if you believe the hyped numbers -was below 1%. We we duped by our government, our medical establishment and the Demons of Davos. Stop being scared. Don't be fooled again. Can we all please resolve that 2024 will bring about a smarter, more courageous, more resilient population that questions everything the lying media and our corrupt government spout? Thankfully, we have the Free Press to lead that charge.
The single most alarming thing about the covid was how unquestioning everyone was about what defines a pandemic. That and how flu incidence went from 39,000/year to ZERO. I called bullshit on the whole scam from day one and was considered immoral for not playing along. Screw this government. Screw the whole mass of jell-o that has become the typical American
#MeToo. We never got the shot, booster, booster, booster, booster, booster, booster.
We practiced good hygiene, got fresh air, stayed away from snurflers (just like every year) and each only got Covid once which was like a bad cold.
I never understood why past practices of letting it run wild and fast in the population so it would mutate and lessen faster was just thrown out the window. Well yes, I do, sheep compliance .
Zinc, vitamin C, garlic, plenty of fresh air, a sinus cleansing and a salt water gargle if there was a touch of something in the throat.
There's also a handy little nasal swab called Nozin that works like a charm. Vit D doesn't hurt either.
and $, tons of it!
I was never an anti vaxxer....if I had a baby right now I can guarantee you I would be much more discriminating as to which shots my baby got. No way in hell would I follow the schedule.
Not everyone. I am unvaccinated.
Curious why you resisted their blandishments. I wish I had done so.
Israel...their data showed quite early the vaccines were ineffective. Also, fast tracked vaccine with a new technology? No, I chose the route of getting Covid and I did so quite purposely. Husband is a Dr, was only a matter of time before he got it as an ENT and he did in Oct 2020 and I refused to isolate from him. I knew I wasn't at risk, very healthy Biker Chick, got the runniest nose I've ever had in my life and lost my taste, smell. That's it and no reinfection. I'm pretty sure my husband has it again right now, he did relent and get the jab due to a work mandate. He only got one JnJ. So far I'm not sick but who knows, maybe I will get it. He could also just have a cold.
So, assuming the usual 39,000 flu deaths that were mis-attributed to Covid-19, Covid only killed 961,000 people in the US, not a million. Excellent distinction!
Congratulations. You are the jell-o
It was a REALLY tough few years for me....felt like yelling in the streets every day "WAKE UP PEOPLE!!" My gawd, what sheep we are. I just could not believe how people so easily gave up their freedom and livelihoods. So many businesses failed. We knew VERY early on who was at risk. I did not fall for the vax and am so glad I kept my resolve. I had Covid in Nov 2020 and haven't had it since. Dr. Jay Bhattacharya and Rav Avora (sp?) have a great podcast out called "Illusion of Consensus." I think the most maddening thing now is that there have been zero apologies. I hope TX wins their case against Pfizer and I hope many other states and countries follow their lead and sue for remuneration for an ineffective product.
I started to wake up when I began reading Alex Berenson's Unreported Truths About COVID. Unfortunately, I'd already gotten the first two Pfizer jabs. I've had COVID twice anyway, and my fully vaxxed former neighbor got COVID and died. Too many leaders listened to the little troll Fauci, whose recommendations didn't prevent hundreds of thousands of deaths.
Vinay Prasad has been on that fight too. Here is his latest post
https://www.drvinayprasad.com/p/if-you-feel-sick-this-holiday-season?
I find it so tiresome to read novels written during Covid or written where the time period is during Covid. The authors seem to revel in describing the con of social distancing and the putting on of masks. Come on man! The latest big offender I’ve read was Val McDermid Past Lying. She is usually so much better than that.
I think the enduring symbol of Covid has to be the lone driver, masked, furtive, afraid and oxygen deprived. A symbol of cowardice, complaisance and supine complicity to a brazenly deceptive authoritarian kleptocracy.
I thought that lone masked driver was the epitome of the Covid lemming until I started seeing masked people on the Appalachian Trail and various branch trails we hike, and then finally, a couple with not only cloth masks, but full-face clear face shields.
Masks outside. Must not let fresh air in. Better to breathe your own germs and carbon dioxide.
As Mac used to scream out - "you cannot be serious."
We have such people, even in Canada where the air is fresh and clean.
Crazy crazy stuff
Karenocracy.
They are not cowards. They are people whose brains were broken by an intense program of propaganda consisting of a firehose of unrelenting lies and censorship of accurate information.
It’s amazing how passionately I hate masks. I can’t look at, speak to or consider being friends with anyone who’s wearing one. There are no mitigating factors! Well, in October a good friend confessed to me of plans to don one on an aeroplane “just as a precaution” so I had to put up with it…
Recently our prayer group was getting together for a Christmas breakfast. We think very much alike. However, one of the group members, who has been my friend for 34 years, got out of her car and put on her mask. Because I know her so well, I asked her what she was doing. She's a teacher and said stuff was going around school. In a perturbed voice I told her (again) that masks don't work. She walked in and told the group she was wearing a mask "to protect all of us" and proceeded to tell the group that I already admonished her. We all chatted for a bit and then went to sit at the table to eat. I said, what are you going to do now?
I so passionately hate masks that I was rude to her. It annoys me to no end to say you're protecting me....cuz my vote is for you to TAKE THE MASK OFF--FOREVER. And it perturbs me that you think you're no longer protecting us, and somehow that's acceptable, because you want to eat!
So, so, absurd! All of it.
I love historical fiction so what is the title of the Follett book? During Covid, I read an historical fiction book called Fever 1793 about an epidemic that occurred in Philadelphia. I had never heard about it but 5000 people died.
"World Without End." Two themes that are relevant to today. The first, how humanity reacted to an actual plague; where society was unhinged and saints and sinners abounded But the second is equally relevant - the hell of feudalism. Don't be fooled. The Demons of Davos are trying to introduce a new feudalism, with massive income equality. Where we are serfs "who vill own nothink and eat ze bugs und be happy." Klaus Schwab needs to be strung up by his heels, and free men and women revolt against such madness. Time to really put it to the self-proclaimed elites and do some serious tinkering with our tax codes. Anyone who lectures on "climate change" whilst flying about in a private jet needs to be taken down and introduced to humility. And poverty.
Thank you and I agree!!!
I have had that modern feudalism thought myself. Could it be that simple? Are there folks who would willingly wipe out centuries of progress by and for normal people?
Yes, Yellow Fever was a real peril in early America. It even reached New York City. We are so insulated from disease today (except of obesity and other dietary and self-induced disease) that we forget how dangerous the world was.
I just read an article yesterday about the return of some long-ridden diseases are showing up in the US. Including leprosy, polio, tuberculosis and malaria. I believe the most likely answer is all of the unfettered (and un-vetted) immigration from some of these countries that do not have good vaccination protocols.
100%
A will only vote for a presidential candidate who vows to deport every last one of them.
And try Biden for treason.
Typhoid and others were reappearing pre-Covid in Cali's homeless encampment.
Our population you think is going to wiser, more resilient etc? I just heard the author of that book compare with great glee that she did not have children, but also did not go cherry picking. With that smug attitude you only meet in certain neighborhoods of certain cities 🙄
I was unaware. Thanks for the info.
I can honestly say that I've never made a new year's resolution and I don't plan to make one now.
Boom! Nailed my personal sentiment. Always been akin to being fearful of Friday the 13th, walking under ladders, etc. I'm not even a little stitious.
I suppose one could copy the UN and make a non-binding resolution. I'm either going to do something or I'm not and pressuring myself seems pointless.
Won’t work unless you’re incredibly antisemitic.
Are there degrees of antisemitism?
Good point, no.
That group of useless idiots sucking up our tax dollars🤢
They are legion.
I see you Michael Scott
Sitious. 🙌🏼
I make resolutions (and fail them more often than not) throughout the year. Why wait until Jan. 1st?
Waking up late means that someone else has stated the obvious first.
I call it an Intention. Then there’s room to change things around. Prioritize.
As long as it's not a good intention, whose many iterations pave the road to Hell.
Haha. Indeed.
That sounds like a resolution, vowing to not make a resolution 😉
That wasn't a vow, it was a statement of fact. Doing nothing isn't a vow.
That’s a very resolute vow!
It's not a vow. I didn't promise anything. I just said I won't make a new year's resolution. Also, I won't invade Khazikstan.
Ditto. I'm a work in progress, don't need a particular day of the year to say "OK now time to do this."
Woman of my dreams.
That sounds like a New Year's resolution:)
Ditto.
See what, if anything, I can do to support my Jewish friends.
Thank you Richard, wishing you much mazel for 2024.
❤️❤️❤️❤️
I resolve not to secretly throw away the stuff my wife never uses, no longer cares about, and doesn’t remember she ever owned, until precisely the moment she accidentally sees it deep in the trash bin. (Damn it!)
You gotta take it off-premises, dude. My wife has a thrift store addiction that shows no sign of stopping. Just randomly grab stuff and toss it in the trunk and pitch it in the gas station trashcan when you can.
I feel your pain. What's up with the hoarding instinct? I love the "when in doubt, throw it out" line penned above. Face it. If you haven't worn that jacket or dress in two years. you're not going to. Give it to Goodwill.
Not Goodwill, which is a private company that treats its employees like crap. There are many other mon profits and churches.
Didn't know that. Salvation Army?
I had a boss once whose wife had a rule for him: when they relocated (as they did somewhat often for his job), if he hadn't used or worn something in a year, it would not make the trip to the next house. She always knew relo was coming when he would suddenly appear stuffed into his college sweatshirt like a sausage.
She probably should have gone with your approach.
Haha! Sounds like me and my husband in reverse. The man keeps everything, you know, just in case. Gets it from his dad who is even worse.
I have the same wife! Has an idea for a project, buys all the necessary materials, puts them in a box for easy access and there they remain!
Have wood bought and cut to build wainscoting in hallway. It's been in the basement for a good half dozen years at this point.
My problem is that I can't find the same thin molding that's on my c. 1854 staircase wainscoting. So the cut and primed pieces, still pristine, are near the woodpile, beneath my late dad's surfcasting poles (used occasionally, fruitlessly, by me), across from power tools that got used a few times, enough to justify their cost because I didn't have to call in and pay a handyman . . . .
On the opposite side of shelves of stuff that might get used, and sometimes does: two colors of old English furniture oil, different polishing waxes, different fertilizers, different cleaning products . . . .
But along the same wall holding shovels, rakes, and edgers.
I figure unless I know I'm going to die soon, it's better to go into the basement and be able to find the thing I'm looking for.
Hoarding? No.
Sounds like my garage. Just the other day my son asked for the snake. I couldn't find it. I think I go blind looking in there. A few hours later I saw it where it had been right in front of me!!
Bury it deeper. Trust me.
Are we married? :D
Plot twist!
that made me laugh so much with recognition! thank you!
Olivia Reingold, I had the same problem for years and years. The only two things that worked? Get finger cots that are plastic and roll down over your fingers. Wear them day and night- don’t take them off even for the shower, but, of course, replace them daily. You can get a ton for pretty cheap. Then once your nails get to a certain length after a few weeks, go get a manicure with SNS or acrylic. If you get regular polish or -worse- gel, you may be tempted to pick at it. The SNS and acrylic strengthen your nails, are tough to pick at, and taste awful if you do manage to get off a chip.
But the finger cot things are the big secret to stopping the biting and the picking. I still break out one or two if I’m stressed out and notice I am tempted to start picking again. You also may benefit from digging into what you are doing when you are doing it the worst and why. Mine was while working and watching TV. Good luck!
Gave up biting my nails for Lent in the 6th grade. Only successful Lent I ever had. 😂
Agree that addressing the cause of the behavior is immensely helpful. As a (sometimes) reformed severe fingernail picker/biter I found that I replaced the fingers with other nervous energy behavior - hair twirling, skin picking on my face or lips, shredding paper or bottle labels, etc.
Try knitting?
I don't bite my fingernails, but I wonder if doing so represents just an exaggeration of tendencies that humans may have inherited from our ancestors, such as primates grooming each other with their fingers, or cats scratching their scratching post (or anything else around if one isn't available).
I bit my nails to the quick from preschool to college commencement, then stopped unconsciously. I was good at school; I think it was more closely related to lack of control over my life than stress or difficult material. I restart when I work at particularly awful companies.
I quit biting my nails for good at 16 when I got a job working with and serving food. I was too busy -- and too fastidious -- to put my fingers in my mouth. What also helped was a chipped front tooth.
I had to get braces to break the habit .... at the ripe age of 55!
Suzy Weiss, good goal, and after 47 years I can say, “best thing that can happen to you.”
But it won’t happen until you STOP looking. And that’s the ONLY way it happens.
Trust me.
That was then; this is now. Better figure out how to shut down the Internet Manosphere c'os the cat's out of the bag. Nowadays Western men just aren't taking the chance on making a one-sided contract with the State. If you're lookin' for love, ladies, you might try the Bari/Nellie route. It's probably your best chance ....
My son is available at 39. After all, who is going to take care of him after Judy and I are gone?
My son is available at 29. He says he has no trouble getting dates, but the women his age are very ambitious and driven, not interested in a long-term relationship or marriage. It's too bad for them: he's good looking, well dressed, prosperous, and good-natured.
Introduce him to Suzy!
Great idea. I wonder if she plays volleyball.
I'm reading Chris Rufo's "America's Cultural Revolution: How the Left Conquered Everything." I'd always wondered what tied all the various sorehead groups together - the Racist and Violent Black Soreheads, the Toxic Feminist Soreheads, the Socialists, the Communists, the Soros acolytes, the Wokesters, the Clintons and Obamas, even the Weathermen of old, and while I felt I was getting a handle on it, he lays it all out perfectly.
Most importantly, he lays out how they all work together to put the Grand Plan to overthrow the West in action. Destroying the nuclear family is at the top of the list, and various "Critical Theories" are the mechanism. Simply divide and conquer. Divide every institution into oppressor and oppressed, with marriage at the top. Attack traditional marriage as a "patriarchy," make women hate men and men fed up with it all. Change the divorce laws to "no-fault" and tell the women they need to get out. Make the laws so she has every incentive to divorce (half his stuff, his kids, a pension - all with no constraints on her behavior).
And boy, is it working. Yes, I'd love to have a wife, but the Red Pill is strong in this one. Not likely.
Destroy the nuclear family? Can't be that simple.
All the elected woke Democrats who want to run our lives, tell us how to live, which appliances and cars to drive, etc. have nuclear families.
I've said before, the battles liberals fought for 100 years ago ie. equality & safety in the workplace, ending child labor sweatshops, minimum wage, same sex marriage, the Equal Rights Amendment, etc. etc. have largely been won.
Today Democrats are a political party in search of a problem, like climate change and Orange Man Bad, and they sell fear (the world will end in 12 years, democracy as we know it will end) in order to simply stay in power.
Only when a tipping point is reached, hopefully now, will we right this ship.
Okay.
So become a homosexual? Good grief.
I find two guys repulsive (that's just me), but two young ladies? Hmmm... I think I could live with that.
But Jim, you're thinking of "Howard Stern lesbians." Howard used to have beautiful, gay women on his show, and loved talking with them. He always cautioned that most lesbians didn't look like those women, however.
You have no choice but to live with both. All of us are God’s creatures and none of us created our sexual orientation. But I am honest, or indiscreet, enough to say I don’t like the concept. But who am I to disagree with God? For a Catholic, homosexuality is an imponderable.
I've never been religious, but have no problem with it - and I see a great deal of benefit. I have several gay friends, and while it is quite unappealing to me, I think of it sort of like I think of buzzards: I don't think I would like to eat what they do, but to them it's perfectly delicious. Guy-butts don't seem that interesting, but I don't pay their bills so I don't call their shots. I guess if there ever were a Real Libertarian, it's me.
I have no problem with what people do in the privacy of their homes. But Jim let us know the benefits. I’m just curious!
Nellie, please consider adding another resolution to your list: Try to lighten up and take things less seriously. As for me, I’m 76, my resolution is to be around to make resolutions (probably the same one) next year. Happy New Year, friends.
Don’t think she needs to lighten up, I think what she needs, is to be a bit more respectful when she writes about President Trump. She has to either call him Mr or President not Trumpo. Wishing you the best for 2024
I love Nellie’s sense of humor!
New Year's resolutions are designed to be abandoned in February. Also they're cheesy. That said, I love thinking 🤔 of good ones. New Year's Day I'll be sober 100 days so I don't have to quit drinking. I'm a personal trainer with my own gym so I don't have to start working out. I could stop eating potato chips for dinner but...nah. I'm in a junk food phase. I trust it'll peter out. I don't bite my nails. I curse too much but I tried quitting and I just didn't fucking feel like me anymore so.... meditation is well... no. Books with actual paper pages are... uh uh. I should probably stop racking up credit card debt on my shopping "projects" but that's a life's work and I don't want to put all that pressure on myself. Surely it will backfire and soon I'll be standing in the kitchen over a bag of kettle cooked potato chips pressing "double-click to pay" on a $1200 designer ring. So go easy on that one. I guess all that's left is to call my mom and dad more often. Is 54 too old to ask them for a little spending money? Haha joke!
Congrats on 100 days sober!
Congrats on 100 days!
Thanks Art!
You have a male sense of humor! I guess from being a trainer? What’s a $1200 designer ring?
I think I had the sense of humor first. And omg thanks for asking 🥰 😂
https://www.marrowfine.com/collections/hand?gad_source=1&gclid=Cj0KCQiAv8SsBhC7ARIsALIkVT0_7KJEBF-0iw0TPCNHDNYTQVpoCBkJR6sRZr49Ia5QBnUmRwoJvKEaAtOJEALw_wcB
You are too cute. Love your honesty and delight. Great post.
awww you made my 2024! I'm going back to bed now.