In just one day, The Free Press has published more quality stories about parenting than the MSM has in years. Becoming a parent is by far the most meaningful thing I've ever done. Especially during trying times like these, all I have to do is look at my daughter for all the love, motivation, and inner peace I'll ever need. Be a rebel, start (and grow) a family. Grandparents deserve a ton of credit too.
Big virtual hugs to the FP team, the spotlighted authors, and the fun thoughtful folks in the comments zone.
Thank you for four beautifully crafted essays. I read each one and give each my highest compliment: I wish I had written that. The last paragraphs by Martin Gurri were so beautiful and so perfectly described my exact situation that I felt as though he was speaking about me. I shared this post to my FB and Twitter (I still cannot get used to the ridiculous "X") pages. Thank you for this.
P. S. Bari- I have tried to reach you about writing a piece for TFP about my situation vis a vis being banned for life in the American College of Surgeons for speaking out about DEI and antiracism. Sorry to reach out like this, but how do I reach you? My email is rtbosshardt@aol.com.
I'm a retired physician, and it worries me that our licensing bodies have started to police not just our practices but our thoughts. Balk at supervising a gender transition - face a complaint. Post your views on a public forum - face a complaint. I look forward to reading your article.
What's even more depressing are reports of the inferior quality of graduating medical students because meritocracy has been replaced by mediocrity. PA's are insisting that they be referred to as Doctor. In California it's legislature passed a law in which any physician who disagrees with the political narrative is subject to loss of their medical license. The AMA & medical schools are much more interested in DEI then the quality of medical education. First year medical students are indoctrinated in WOKE ideology. Medical education has become a reflection of a sick society.
I have been an RN for 30 years and the change in medicine is beyond disturbing. I also look forward to more articles exposing how harmful DEI is in medicine.
1. Your job is to be your child's parent, not their friend.
2. Give your children what they need, not what they want. You may have to think about that before you see that I am being kind, not cruel!
3. Be prepared for tantrums and temporary hatred (see rule#1). Children can blast an emotional flamethrower at you when you don't give in. It hurts, and weak parents fold in the face of it (thus teaching the worst lesson ever: if you complain enough the grown-ups give in). Strong parents are flame-proof.
4. As your children individuate, you get to become more friend, and less parent, but never, ever lose the parental role, which is to provide an anchor for even adult children to rely upon.
5. Your reward is your fine grown-up children appropriately parenting your grandchildren. You have to be prepared to wait, but it's worth it.
Children are typically much more capable than given credit for.
My wife and I are avid hikers. For 25 years we would take a 6 to 10 day extended hike through some portion of the Rockies in late Fall. First time we took our 10 year old daughter we encountered some nasty winter weather and elected to cross the continental divide a day earlier than planned which involved a 15 mile hike and a 2500 foot climb and descent in snow and sleet. We reached our destination rather exhausted only to watch our daughter running through the woods, swinging upside down from a tree limb, and singing. We never again confused complaining with capability.
I have a story that I'll spare all y'all about me, my preteen daughter, and the Bright Angel Trail at the Grand Canyon. Applicable punchline is that I had a hard time getting out of bed the next morning. My daughter was ready to do it again...
Thank you for these stories. As a grandmother twice widowed and mother of four living sons, one son who passed at 33, and a stillborn only daughter, each story resonated in a unique way. Each story awakened hope for humanity in the spirit, love and sanctity born again in each child in each generation.
These were all beautifully written and thoughtful articles. As one of the childless people living alone, I have missed the joys and tribulations of parenting. What jumps out in these articles is how the people are married. The young woman who had her son at 25 was interesting as I don't know many women in their 20s who are married. In the article about childlessness it spoke of the declining rates in the developed world, with the exception being Israel. Our cultures in the West have gone from the focus on the group to the individual. My responsibility is only to me and the path I take in life. In the past, it was all about the tribe or group you were a part of. That was the paramount focus where, in the developed world, that is no longer the case. Finally, we have all read about the Woke kids at colleges; I would love to see a study on how they were raised and fed the values that created these lunatics? I would guess the affluent "me" women who have those kids, along with the Dad, are more focused on themselves than the family unit, and the values, love, and meaning they never got at home are filled with the propaganda they are fed at the colleges. Great thought-provoking reads this morning.
Never in the 100 millennial span of man’s dominance (some would argue that 100 millennia could indeed be 400 millennia) over The Creation has Man ever had it so good - illness, accidents, natural catastrophes, even the weather to a (much) lesser extent are being brought down to the desires of man. Oh, don’t think I’m unaware that’s it’s a terrible world out there but compared to just a few generations ago, or ten fold generations ago, we have SO MUCH to celebrate. And yet, instead of celebration we’re living as if tomorrow is doom, that there’s no reason to continue as an entity. As an evangelical Christian I see this as the time when "fill the earth" should be a joy rather than a curse uttered from too many lips.
Thanks (once again) for bold stories in the face of victim-mentality! Raised as the oldest child of young parents (21 and 26) and then being an adoptive mom (at 36 and 40) of two (now) grown children I realized that waiting until the “ideal” time for babies is way over-rated. But being a parent is not!
Late to the party again... for anyone willing to listen: One of my many tiresome tropes is that we are no longer designed to match our environment. Behold the age at which we are fertile. It corresponds far better to our period of ability to survive parenting than does waiting until midlife when we've finally managed to convince ourselves that we're Really Ready. For reasons painful to relate I did not lay the keels of children until 31 and 38. The former kinda late, the latter really late. You are more able than you think.
We raised five children who are good citizens who have served their country and community.
They have raised twelve children-all good students, hard workers and good citizens with none of the crazy upside down cultural nonsense we witness everyday.
The couple were unprepared for parenthood when the mother to be was only 26? Her career was in jeopardy? Ugh! After decades of feminist activism, it still her career that takes the hit? Raising children is damned hard and expensive and wonderful and a blessing. And it still mostly takes two to tango. Where was the father in all this? Why wasn’t his career jeopardized in any way?
My kids were born in Seattle in 1976 and '79. I took them hiking often. I taught them self-reliance and the importance of diet and exercise. I worked hard at stopping their whining.
Now they are in their forties and both have had plenty of adventures. Neither is married or has children or a house. Too expensive. My daughter does have a car.
The economy and society in the USA today are very tough for younger generations.
The human race is always only 45 years from extinction.
In just one day, The Free Press has published more quality stories about parenting than the MSM has in years. Becoming a parent is by far the most meaningful thing I've ever done. Especially during trying times like these, all I have to do is look at my daughter for all the love, motivation, and inner peace I'll ever need. Be a rebel, start (and grow) a family. Grandparents deserve a ton of credit too.
Big virtual hugs to the FP team, the spotlighted authors, and the fun thoughtful folks in the comments zone.
Bari and Oliver,
Thank you for four beautifully crafted essays. I read each one and give each my highest compliment: I wish I had written that. The last paragraphs by Martin Gurri were so beautiful and so perfectly described my exact situation that I felt as though he was speaking about me. I shared this post to my FB and Twitter (I still cannot get used to the ridiculous "X") pages. Thank you for this.
P. S. Bari- I have tried to reach you about writing a piece for TFP about my situation vis a vis being banned for life in the American College of Surgeons for speaking out about DEI and antiracism. Sorry to reach out like this, but how do I reach you? My email is rtbosshardt@aol.com.
I'm a retired physician, and it worries me that our licensing bodies have started to police not just our practices but our thoughts. Balk at supervising a gender transition - face a complaint. Post your views on a public forum - face a complaint. I look forward to reading your article.
What's even more depressing are reports of the inferior quality of graduating medical students because meritocracy has been replaced by mediocrity. PA's are insisting that they be referred to as Doctor. In California it's legislature passed a law in which any physician who disagrees with the political narrative is subject to loss of their medical license. The AMA & medical schools are much more interested in DEI then the quality of medical education. First year medical students are indoctrinated in WOKE ideology. Medical education has become a reflection of a sick society.
I have been an RN for 30 years and the change in medicine is beyond disturbing. I also look forward to more articles exposing how harmful DEI is in medicine.
Barrett, Please see the link above to my petition. Would appreciate it if you would sign and pass on to as many others as possible. Thanks, Rick
Chris, Would you be so kind as to sign my petition and pass the link on to others, especially physicians? The link is: https://www.change.org/ACS-petition-reinstate-Bosshardt
Done!
Some rules for parents:
1. Your job is to be your child's parent, not their friend.
2. Give your children what they need, not what they want. You may have to think about that before you see that I am being kind, not cruel!
3. Be prepared for tantrums and temporary hatred (see rule#1). Children can blast an emotional flamethrower at you when you don't give in. It hurts, and weak parents fold in the face of it (thus teaching the worst lesson ever: if you complain enough the grown-ups give in). Strong parents are flame-proof.
4. As your children individuate, you get to become more friend, and less parent, but never, ever lose the parental role, which is to provide an anchor for even adult children to rely upon.
5. Your reward is your fine grown-up children appropriately parenting your grandchildren. You have to be prepared to wait, but it's worth it.
Such a brilliant post!
Christopher Moss: 1-4 rules are very good. #5 is not a rule, it's a wish.
My wife had two rules
Raise your child so that others will love them because a parent’s love is automatic
And, raise them to be employable, marriageable, and the person God wants them to be which is not necessarily who you want them to be.
So true
Children are typically much more capable than given credit for.
My wife and I are avid hikers. For 25 years we would take a 6 to 10 day extended hike through some portion of the Rockies in late Fall. First time we took our 10 year old daughter we encountered some nasty winter weather and elected to cross the continental divide a day earlier than planned which involved a 15 mile hike and a 2500 foot climb and descent in snow and sleet. We reached our destination rather exhausted only to watch our daughter running through the woods, swinging upside down from a tree limb, and singing. We never again confused complaining with capability.
I have a story that I'll spare all y'all about me, my preteen daughter, and the Bright Angel Trail at the Grand Canyon. Applicable punchline is that I had a hard time getting out of bed the next morning. My daughter was ready to do it again...
Love this!!!
Thank you for these stories. As a grandmother twice widowed and mother of four living sons, one son who passed at 33, and a stillborn only daughter, each story resonated in a unique way. Each story awakened hope for humanity in the spirit, love and sanctity born again in each child in each generation.
These were all beautifully written and thoughtful articles. As one of the childless people living alone, I have missed the joys and tribulations of parenting. What jumps out in these articles is how the people are married. The young woman who had her son at 25 was interesting as I don't know many women in their 20s who are married. In the article about childlessness it spoke of the declining rates in the developed world, with the exception being Israel. Our cultures in the West have gone from the focus on the group to the individual. My responsibility is only to me and the path I take in life. In the past, it was all about the tribe or group you were a part of. That was the paramount focus where, in the developed world, that is no longer the case. Finally, we have all read about the Woke kids at colleges; I would love to see a study on how they were raised and fed the values that created these lunatics? I would guess the affluent "me" women who have those kids, along with the Dad, are more focused on themselves than the family unit, and the values, love, and meaning they never got at home are filled with the propaganda they are fed at the colleges. Great thought-provoking reads this morning.
What a cruel joke is man.
Never in the 100 millennial span of man’s dominance (some would argue that 100 millennia could indeed be 400 millennia) over The Creation has Man ever had it so good - illness, accidents, natural catastrophes, even the weather to a (much) lesser extent are being brought down to the desires of man. Oh, don’t think I’m unaware that’s it’s a terrible world out there but compared to just a few generations ago, or ten fold generations ago, we have SO MUCH to celebrate. And yet, instead of celebration we’re living as if tomorrow is doom, that there’s no reason to continue as an entity. As an evangelical Christian I see this as the time when "fill the earth" should be a joy rather than a curse uttered from too many lips.
Thanks (once again) for bold stories in the face of victim-mentality! Raised as the oldest child of young parents (21 and 26) and then being an adoptive mom (at 36 and 40) of two (now) grown children I realized that waiting until the “ideal” time for babies is way over-rated. But being a parent is not!
Late to the party again... for anyone willing to listen: One of my many tiresome tropes is that we are no longer designed to match our environment. Behold the age at which we are fertile. It corresponds far better to our period of ability to survive parenting than does waiting until midlife when we've finally managed to convince ourselves that we're Really Ready. For reasons painful to relate I did not lay the keels of children until 31 and 38. The former kinda late, the latter really late. You are more able than you think.
I love each of these stories - thank you!
Thanks for posting these stories.
We raised five children who are good citizens who have served their country and community.
They have raised twelve children-all good students, hard workers and good citizens with none of the crazy upside down cultural nonsense we witness everyday.
They will enjoy these stories.
Many thanks.
The couple were unprepared for parenthood when the mother to be was only 26? Her career was in jeopardy? Ugh! After decades of feminist activism, it still her career that takes the hit? Raising children is damned hard and expensive and wonderful and a blessing. And it still mostly takes two to tango. Where was the father in all this? Why wasn’t his career jeopardized in any way?
My kids were born in Seattle in 1976 and '79. I took them hiking often. I taught them self-reliance and the importance of diet and exercise. I worked hard at stopping their whining.
Now they are in their forties and both have had plenty of adventures. Neither is married or has children or a house. Too expensive. My daughter does have a car.
The economy and society in the USA today are very tough for younger generations.
The human race is always only 45 years from extinction.
I'm not sure I give a shit either way anymore.
how awesome! kudos to you all, a “hurrican” of fresh air!