Everyone knows there is a gender double standard when it comes to physical appearance. And to this, I say, “Thank God.”
When my wife and I got married, 35 years ago, she said that embracing me—I was 6′2″ and 142 pounds at the time—was like hugging a coatrack. (Today, she says that cuddling up to my 60-something gym-rat body is more like spooning with a leather sack of ropes.)
But, of course, she still married me. And sure enough, while women’s physical attractiveness plays a significant role in men’s mate preferences—particularly at the beginning—behavioral science shows that for men it confers only a modest advantage in permanent pair-bond mating (what you civilians call “marriage”). Other factors, such as dependability, hard work, and character, are much more predictive of mating success.
In other words, at least I am a leather sack of ropes with good character.
Some observers claim this double standard is changing. If you’re following new trends on social media, you can’t avoid hearing the word “looksmaxxing,” a practice based on the idea that, because fleeting first impressions are everything, a man’s physical attractiveness is his most important attribute if he ever wants to get a mate. The trend has “soft” variants that involve skin and hair care, teeth whitening, and muscle building, and an alarming “hard” type that encourages cosmetic surgery, fillers, steroids, and even “bonesmashing” to get a better facial structure.
