Welcome back to Ancient Wisdom, our weekly series in which writers over 70 tell us how they are aging gracefully. Last week, the great literary critic Joseph Epstein described how his reading habits have changed as he’s gotten older. This week, John Stossel, the famously libertarian former ABC and Fox journalist, explains why, at 78, beach volleyball has become his obsession.
While playing volleyball in Florida with a “senior therapist,” I asked her, “Who does well in retirement?”
“Women,” she replied. Later she added, “Also, men who golf.”
Who does badly?
“Men who used to run things.”
It reminded me of an ABC News segment I once did with a psychologist who studies people after divorce. ABC had run stories on how men take advantage of women financially. According to the reports, men were trickier—more devious—with money. It’s probably true. But this psychologist said that after a divorce, women were generally happier than men, even if they got the short end of the financial stick. He believed it was because women had, on average, six friends with whom they share personal feelings. Men had one—often their ex-wife.
I thought hard about that because I tend to isolate too.
“Stop going into a corner reading your book!” Arnold Diaz, the late consumer reporter, used to yell at me. By the time I reached The Free Press’s “ancient” category—for the record, I’m 78—my two closest friends had died. Aging, I saw, would only increase my isolation. So I came up with a few ways to stave off reclusiveness.
When Covid-19 hit, I started two men’s groups. It was considerate of Covid to delay itself until Zoom was invented, because my hearing isn’t good. In conversations, I struggle to decipher words, but on Zoom, voices, via earbuds or my hearing aids, go right to my brain. That makes it much easier to connect—which I try to do once or twice a week with the six or seven men in each group.
Our men’s groups continued past the pandemic. Relative strangers are now friends. Often, I complain, “Enough sports! No more whining about Trump! Say something personal!” And we usually do.
