Welcome to the final edition of A Man Should Know, a column from Elliot Ackerman about how today’s lost boys can become tomorrow’s good men. This week, Elliot rounds out the series with a reflection on speaking itself. It’s a gift, he says, to get to tell a story to an audience. Here’s how to do it well.
A decade ago, in Afghanistan, one of my friends was killed. He and I had fought alongside one another in the Marines years before. After news of his death arrived in the U.S., I learned he’d left plans for his own funeral. He wanted me to deliver a eulogy.
The ceremony was scheduled for a few weeks later. He had left behind a wife and three children, and I felt overwhelmed trying to come up with something to say that would feel worthy. As I struggled with this assignment, my wife offered me a bit of advice: “You know who the eulogy is for, don’t you?” I had to confess that I didn’t. “It’s for his children,” she said. Suddenly, my audience became clear. I knew who I was speaking to, and this allowed me to speak from the heart about their father.
Public speaking is part of life. Whether addressing your team at work, giving a toast at a wedding, or delivering a eulogy, most of us will have to stand in front of a crowd and speak at some point. Some find it very natural, but most suffer a little anxiety. My past life as a military officer and my current one as a writer demand that I often speak in public. Along the way, I’ve learned a few lessons.
