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A Man Should Know: How to Form an Opinion
Students participate in a discussion group at the Parmiter’s School in Watford, England, on October 6, 1976. (Robin Jones/Evening Standard via Getty Images)
Relationships cause us to reconsider our views far more than arguments. When you love and trust someone, you’re more likely to make an effort to see things from their point of view.
By Elliot Ackerman
11.21.25 — Culture and Ideas
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Welcome back to A Man Should Know, a weekly column from Elliot Ackerman about how today’s lost boys can become tomorrow’s good men. This week, Elliot unpacks what it takes to form a thoughtful opinion—and why curiosity beats certainty every time.

Last year, our son surprised us by announcing he wanted to join the school debate team. His extracurricular interests had always been centered in sports, but he thought learning how to win an argument would be fun. My wife debated in school, yet, to help our son prepare, we both set about learning the current tournament protocols. Each debate is structured around a resolution. And each team prepares to argue for the resolution—via the “Prop team”—or against it—via the “Opp team.”

As they do not know which side they will be assigned, all debaters prepare speeches for both the Prop and Opp sides in advance of the tournament. The somewhat esoteric proposition for our son’s first tournament was: Credit cards are a force for good.

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Elliot Ackerman
Elliot Ackerman is a New York Times best-selling author of numerous works of fiction and nonfiction, including the novels 2034, Waiting for Eden, and Dark at the Crossing, as well as the memoirs The Fifth Act: America’s End in Afghanistan and Places and Names: On War, Revolution, and Returning. His books have been nominated for the National Book Award, the Andrew Carnegie Medal in both fiction and nonfiction, and the Dayton Literary Peace Prize, among others. He is a contributing writer at The Atlantic, a senior fellow at Yale’s Jackson School of Global Affairs, and a veteran of the Marine Corps and CIA special operations, having served five tours of duty in Iraq and Afghanistan, where he received the Silver Star, the Bronze Star for Valor, and the Purple Heart. He divides his time between New York City and Washington, D.C.
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