As a novelist, I would struggle to imagine a more surreal or absurd scene than last week’s viral incident at a Coldplay concert—to the point where if I wrote it into one of my books, my editor would likely send it back with a note politely asking me to please tone it down.
The biggest scandal on the internet right now started with the video, which you’ve surely seen: a jumbotron lights up with the image of a middle-aged couple, obviously and blissfully in love, swaying in each other’s arms on a beautiful summer night. “Oh, look at these two,” says Coldplay’s lead singer, Chris Martin—and all hell breaks loose. Their smiles are replaced by looks of sheer panic. She spins away, flinging her hands over her very red face. He dives out of frame, frantically waving his arms like he’s trying to push the camera away with the power of telekinesis.
“Either they’re having an affair or they’re just very shy,” Martin quips.
The internet understood the assignment. Seemingly within minutes, online sleuths had identified the pair. He was the CEO of a software start-up called Astronomer; she was his head of HR. And yes, they were both married to other people, whose identities the online masses also took it upon themselves to sniff out and publicize.
